Phobia of Sex

I've always had a negative view of sex and have been scared of the idea of sex for a long time. I thought I was getting more comfortable with the idea and starting to even look forward to it in someways. But some sexual things my bf says scares me to death and makes me dread the idea. I'm even thinking of ending the relationship as me and my bf seem to have such different views of sex and life in general.

Anyone else had fears or doubts about sex? Just wandering if theres ways you can overcome this fear, or is it best just to accept that you were not meant for sex and move on. Or should I just stop worrying about it and see what happens, just dont do anything I'm not comfortable with?

How old are you, and are you religious?

Why are you scared. Did something in the past happened that made you

this way. How old have you been with your bf and how old are you?

Just go slow- you deserve to enjoy sex as much as anyone, but it sounds pretty intense. I assume you've been told all of your life that sex is bad. Is that the cause of your fear?

I'm not religious in any way and I havent been told my whole life that sex is bad. I'm now 23 so I know I'm pretty old to still be a virgin by todays standards, but I confess I've extremely little experience with relationships and this one is really my 1st. We've been going out quite a few months and we get on pretty well most of the time.

We've slept in the same bed and we've done a lot of other foreplay stuff. In some ways I enjoy it, but I always feel like its never enough for him and that he'll never be happy with what I'm comfortable with. Some things I really am against and some I'm getting used to. I dont know. Its just so intense. I feel like I'm loosing myself some how. Changing to fit in with what he wants and I dont like it. I become very submissive around him and I find it really hard to tell him what I'm feeling. I don't like it. Its almost like I'm 2 people. More confident when we're just hanging out or I'm at home, and submissive when it comes to more intimate things. I love giving him pleasure, but I dont feel comfortable when he does things to me. It just makes me feel dirty and used.

Is this normal, or am I a complete freak? People have told me that sometimes you have to do things you dont like in a relationship to keep your partner happy and I'm guessing sex is one of those things? Either give in to it or sacrafice the relationship and be prepared to live alone?

Is he asking to to participate in behavior that is outside what is considered "normal"? I mean, can you be a little more specific? If he is asking a virgin for anal sex, for example, or bondage, or spankings, I can see why you are scared. It is hard to know without a little more detail.

I suppose it's possible to find that one-in-a-million (not exaggerating, here) guy who won't be disappointed if you don't have sex with him in your relationship, but you're not with him, are you?

Yes, Sooky, it's weird. You know it is. It doesn't mean that you can't have a good life, but it's well out of the range of normal feelings about sex, and that usually comes from somewhere, doesn't it? You don't honestly think that you're just naturally averse to sex, do you?

You, yourself call it a phobia. That's a psychological malaise. You weren't born this way.

See a Psychiatrist.

~Blix

are you confident in your body?

I ask 'cos I used not to be, and it made me be scared of intimacy. Heck, until recently I even declined receiving oral and made my poor bf feel useless because I only wanted to give pleasure and it was the receiving that seemed like a more of a chore.
ok, if that's not it, then I can't think of anything else that hasn't already been mentioned.. so maybe take blix up on his advice.
and please keep us posted :)

Blix- Well I tried councilling for quite a while but it didn't really help me. I still feel the same. I still feel uncomfortable with sexual things. I guess there wasn't really much point posting this and it must be quite irritating to all of you, so I appologise. However, I thought it might be interesting to see what other people thought about this. I guess my ideas about these things are very unique after all. In the end I guess I'll have to decide, put up with sex to keep my partner happy or live alone. Those really are the only choices and I'm deluding myself to think otherwise. I know I am. I know I'm weird.

Gigabitch - I know guys who are happy not to have sex are essentially non-existant, and I don't expect to find one. Thats why I know its suffer the sex or live alone. And as stupid and unbelievable as it may sound, yes I do think I'm naturally adverse to sex. No idea why really. No doubt theres some really complex psycological reason for it, but not that I understand. Well not yet anyway. Though I will keep trying to understand why my ideas are so off the spectrum.

Vasti- Well it was when he mentioned some more unusual ideas that I freaked out. So that might be what scared me. Even the thought of anal sex gives me the creaps and makes me quiver.

Tiay - I guess in a way I feel like you do. Happy to give pleasure but not to recieve it. Guess that is pretty weird. But I don't think its just because I'm not confident in my body (though thats definately true). Think maybe in some ways I'm just scarred to give that much control over myself to another person. I don't like being submissive. I am very shy, but I tend to rebel against it. And anything that makes me more shy I want to avoid, and so I want to avoid sex. (See this is all the type of stuff you go over in councilling, all this rubbish that doesn't really mean anything!)

Anyway, think for now I'll just keep trying and see how things go. You never know one day I may change my mind, I may become comfortable with sex. Or one day my bf will get fed up of waiting for me and I'll live alone. The only thing positive to do here is to look for the advantages in both lifestyles and just learn to live with whatever happens.

Sorry to waste this space. Thanks for all your ideas and suggestions. Its always interesting to see how others view things. :)

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Vasti- Well it was when he mentioned some more unusual ideas that I freaked out. So that might be what scared me. Even the thought of anal sex gives me the creaps and makes me quiver.

. :)

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Lots of women are put off by the idea of anal sex. You are far from alone in that matter. If you aren't interested, just say no. Men hear it all the time. As far as the rest of it goes, people are generally uncomfortable with new experiences. Perhaps you should just go slow, and gain some practice.

Have you been able to bring yourself to orgasm? If you haven't, you should work on that all by yourself. You need to learn that we are all made to experience pleasure, and we are all ENTITLED to it. You might feel more of an interest once you know what it is people are seeking.

Also, are you taking birth control pills? They are known to diminish sex drive, which could be contributing to your apathy.

Get a better councilor maybe? or however that work is spelled.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I guess there wasn't really much point posting this and it must be quite irritating to all of you, so I appologise.

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not at all! I just hope you get something out of this.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

the thought of anal sex gives me the creaps

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eh, that's nothing unusual. I don't like the idea of it either- I'd bet most girls don't find it appealing.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Happy to give pleasure but not to recieve it.

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yeah, i'm still a bit like that. I know some guys would joke "a girl that only wants to give pleasure and doesn't want anything in return? great!". But there's a BIG difference between being a selfless lover, and closing yourself off like that. That phase really was hard on my BF, and the whole thing made me feel, once more, that there was simply something wrong with me. Maybe it comes from being hypothyroid and taking pills all my life, but I've always - even as a kid - had the feeling that there was something deeply, deeply medically wrong with me. Like i'm rotten at the core.

Would you be comfortable to lie back, have the lights on and let your bf see you? and by "see you", I specifically mean.. specific parts.

(way to go tiay, that was so tactful...)

'cos if you're not, that's a big part of the problem. Believe me, once you sort that part out, you can actually start *enjoying* yourself, even if there are still other issues going on. Before I got over that hurdle, heavy petting, while I did also like it, was also a chore.. it filled me with .. I want to say 'dread', but that's too strong a word. In the end, my bf was so open and trusting to me, I owed it to him to get over my issues with my body and open up to him.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm just scarred to give that much control over myself to another person

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and it is that handing over control over that is so very important to the whole thing. I'm not even talking about sex specifically, but all forms of intimate contact.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thats why I know its suffer the sex or live alone

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That makes me really sad. It doesn't have to be like that.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sorry to waste this space.

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don't be ridiculous girl! This thread is one of the most interesting ones in a while.

Sooky, your posts indicate a shocking low level of self-esteem. How is posting this a "waste of space"? Look at this and apply it to your low sex-drive.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Sooky, your posts indicate a shocking low level of self-esteem. How is posting this a "waste of space"? Look at this and apply it to your low sex-drive.

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I totally agree. I'll be the first to admit that low self esteem is one of the many psycological problems that drives me crazy. But to me it seems that being submissive to my partner during sexual activities and supressing my own views about sex isnt helping me. I do have moments of cofidence, but I worry that when my ego takes over I will get overconfident and upset people with my views and feelings, especially my partner. If I told him a lot of the stuff I was feeling + how I viewed sexual things he would probably take it personally and get upset. Also I guess I'm worried that if I let my confident side take over I'll push him away, because he'll relise that I'm very different from him and that it will be very difficlt to change my mind about things.

I dont know. I know I sound crazy. I probably am crazy in many ways. I just wish I could be myself but not have to live alone. At the moment at least, it seems thats almost impossible. And I have to supress myself to some extent to keep a relationship.

I'm so messed up. I bet it would take a life time for a counciller to sort me out. :P

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm so messed up. I bet it would take a life time for a counciller to sort me out. :P

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I doubt it, but the sooner you start, the sooner you will be done with it.

BTW - if you are concerned about "losing control", you can try being the dominant partner. YOU can go on top. Hell, you can even tie him down to ensure you maintain control. He probably would like it.

Fear of not being in control can be worked with.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I doubt it, but the sooner you start, the sooner you will be done with it.

BTW - if you are concerned about "losing control", you can try being the dominant partner. YOU can go on top. Hell, you can even tie him down to ensure you maintain control. He probably would like it.

Fear of not being in control can be worked with.

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Mmm.. interesting idea, though you mis-understood me a bit. Didn't mean losing control in that sense, meant losing control of who I am. I know it sounds crazy. But I'm really not keen on many sexual things. Some are ok. And some I'm just really not keen on at all and at the moment I cant see how anyone could change my mind about it. Though, I admit my experience is still pretty limited and they may do. Also I know the first few times you have sex it probably wont be enjoyable and will most likely hurt. So having sex will probably put me off even more?

As for the councilling, I've already started. I started when I was 17 and its still ongoing. Councilling is ok and in some ways it can help with self esteem problems, but when your confident side is against sexual things anyway, it doesnt help much.

See my problem. I need to change my beliefs and personallity to fit in with whats normal, just ignore what my instincts tell me and go along with the sex stuff or live alone.

You don't "lose yourself" except during orgasm, and you probably won't orgasm anyway, at least for a while. Still, sex is enjoyable, even without an orgasm.

I hope you are seeing a cognitive behavioral therapist rather than a psychoanalyst.

Do you have other body issues in addition to sex aversion, like an eating disorder or something?

Is it really better to be with someone you can't be honest with than be alone? And don't you think there might be someone out there for you who might understand and be willing to work with you on this? Of course, I don't know your bf at all, but from what you've said, he doesn't sound like Mr. Right.

[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The above is a picture of a penis.


[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The above is a picture of a vagina.


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Considering the above, let's take a closer step and notice something extremely strange.


THE PENIS IS MADE TO BE INSIDE A VAGINA!


You have a vagina. He has a penis.



Cut your bullshit mind games with yourself and get laid.

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Originally Posted by Tiay

Maybe it comes from being hypothyroid and taking pills all my life, but I've always - even as a kid - had the feeling that there was something deeply, deeply medically wrong with me. Like i'm rotten at the core.

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I realize this is totally irrelevant, but I was just kind of surprised/interested by this comment. I've taken synthroid pills since I was a few weeks old and they realized I had no thyroid, and I think the only effect it's ever had on my life is that I need to remember to take pills with me wherever I go. I wonder how that leads to such a deep-seated feeling of inferiority?

The fact that you have such a deep seeded fear of any sexual relation is a bit disturbing. I say that only because every animal is supposed to naturally feel some need to procreate. The fact that you don't feel that way and you claim there has been no outside influence to cause this is really odd. Still, the way to changing this is not going to be by having sex with this guy you're seeing. You obviously don't feel comfortable getting close with him and if you force yourself to you're just going to develop even more negative associations with sex. But since it's unlikely you'll find mr. right immediately, follow vashti's advice and try to orgasm. Feel something good that's associated with sex and it may make you less afraid. Lastly, most of your problem is psychological and 90% of you fixing this is going to be up to you to work past your own shit and there's no one here that can do that for you.

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Originally Posted by TDurden [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The fact that you have such a deep seeded fear of any sexual relation is a bit disturbing. I say that only because every animal is supposed to naturally feel some need to procreate. The fact that you don't feel that way and you claim there has been no outside influence to cause this is really odd. Still, the way to changing this is not going to be by having sex with this guy you're seeing. You obviously don't feel comfortable getting close with him and if you force yourself to you're just going to develop even more negative associations with sex. But since it's unlikely you'll find mr. right immediately, follow vashti's advice and try to orgasm. Feel something good that's associated with sex and it may make you less afraid. Lastly, most of your problem is psychological and 90% of you fixing this is going to be up to you to work past your own shit and there's no one here that can do that for you.

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It's called being Puritan.

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

THE PENIS IS MADE TO BE INSIDE A VAGINA!

You have a vagina. He has a penis.

Cut your bullshit mind games with yourself and get laid.

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Um... Yeah.... I studied Biology at University! I know all about reproduction and evolution and the general need of all living things to pass on their DNA to the next generation! Oh how well I do know this stuff! But I'm weird! For some crazy ass reason I have failed to follow the laws of nature. I'm a freak of nature if you will.

I should be studied intensely I think. There is obviously some crazy ass arrangement of neurons in my brain that makes me view the world in a weird ass way. Contrary to evolution and maybe even the laws of physics as we know them.

Do you volunteer to dissect me? :P

PS- Oh and also mind games can be quite fun. Well when your not getting laid at least. It keeps my crazy ass arrangement of neurons occupied. If you dont like it, shoot me!

I'm totally enjoying reading your weird-ass posts, Sooky. You have a very wry sense of humor about yourself.

So, is your boyfriend a dick, or what?

I think the fear is a common fear among females (in particular to penetration and feeling pain). Sooky if you have a thoughtful and sensitive boyfriend it shouldnt be too bad (I would think). Of course if desire use alot of lube.
Hope that helps.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Um... Yeah.... I studied Biology at University! I know all about reproduction and evolution and the general need of all living things to pass on their DNA to the next generation! Oh how well I do know this stuff! But I'm weird! For some crazy ass reason I have failed to follow the laws of nature. I'm a freak of nature if you will.

I should be studied intensely I think. There is obviously some crazy ass arrangement of neurons in my brain that makes me view the world in a weird ass way. Contrary to evolution and maybe even the laws of physics as we know them.

Do you volunteer to dissect me? :P

PS- Oh and also mind games can be quite fun. Well when your not getting laid at least. =P It keeps my crazy ass arrangement of neurons occupied. If you dont like it, shoot me!

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Oh, I'll dissect you alright. And, I'd rid you of your problems, the hard way. :sinister:

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh, I'll dissect you alright. And, I'd rid you of your problems, the hard way. :sinister:

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I recommend you start by removing my brain, and then replace it with the brain of a normal person. That'd probably cure me. Either that or just remove my brain. There you go. Problem solved.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm totally enjoying reading your weird-ass posts, Sooky. You have a very wry sense of humor about yourself.

So, is your boyfriend a dick, or what?

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My bf is not a dick really, he's just a typical guy in being very sexual. He's a very caring and loving guy in many ways, I'm lucky really. And I wouldnt dream of blaming any of my weird ass fears or feelings about sex on him, thats all me. However, I agree that he may not be the right guy for me, as he is so sexual. But it just makes me think that there maybe no right guy for me. And with statistics as low as 1 guy in a million (probably even less that) who wont be dissapointed with no sex, its unlikely that I'll ever meet the "right" guy if I stick with my instincts. I guess I should just take Zarathru's advice. Just cut the crap and get laid. Then I can decide if its better to just put up with sex or live alone.

Its not an ideal world, people suffer in terrrible ways every day. Suffering sex will be nothing in comparison to that, so I dont see why I shouldnt just endure it and get on with life. So in conclusion I guess I know what I have to do. Its just a case of getting on with it.

Thanks for all the comments and advice though guys, is interesting to get lots of different views on the subject. :)

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I recommend you start by removing my brain, and then replace it with the brain of a normal person. That'd probably cure me. Either that or just remove my brain. There you go. Problem solved.

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No. There's a "purification" process, first.


:evil:

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No. There's a "purification" process, first.


:evil:

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What the hell are you on about? I may be a complete retard but you've lost me somewhere.

Oh, he's just amusing himself. Most of the time he's just a smartass, and every now and then he comes up with really good, well-thought-out, heartfelt advice.

I wouldn't hold my breath.

Sooky, I hope you end up liking it after all.

I think sometimes actions precede feelings. This might be one of those times, Sooky.

(Take note, I've read no other posts, so excuse me for repeating what somebody else might have said. Don't tell me I did, because I don't give a shit.)

What's obvious is the following:

• This isn't normal.
• This is in your head.

Considering the above, there is obviously something causing this problem, otherwise it couldn't be there. It's either due to a condition that has remained true throughout your life, or it's because of an action--something somebody else (or yourself, leading to somebody else's actions) did, therefore causing your "phobia" (for lack of a better word) of sex.

You've directly claimed you aren't religious here:

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Originally Posted by Sucky

I'm not religious in any way and I havent been told my whole life that sex is bad.

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You've also stated:

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Originally Posted by Sucky

I'm now 23 so I know I'm pretty old to still be a virgin by todays standards, but I confess I've extremely little experience with relationships and this one is really my 1st.

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And, most importantly, you have stated:

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Originally Posted by Sucky

Um... Yeah.... I studied Biology at University! I know all about reproduction and evolution and the general need of all living things to pass on their DNA to the next generation! Oh how well I do know this stuff! But I'm weird! For some crazy ass reason I have failed to follow the laws of nature. I'm a freak of nature if you will.

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Now, to grab what is perhaps a "sharper" image of the synopsis:

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Originally Posted by Sucky

But some sexual things my bf says scares me to death and makes me dread the idea.

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So it's something your boyfriend is saying. Before I make any assumptions, let me ask the following:

1. Any childhood events that could POSSIBLY lead to anything?
2. Have any close friends that were abused/raped?
3. What exactly does your boyfriend tell you (that scares you to death)?
4. How open were your parents with you about sex?

Firstly can I just say, I love that you've refered to me as Sucky in the quotes above! Thats genious!

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What's obvious is the following:

• This isn't normal.
• This is in your head.

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Yeap, that seems to hit the nail on the head as it were. I totally agree and I have agreed.

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Considering the above, there is obviously something causing this problem, otherwise it couldn't be there. It's either due to a condition that has remained true throughout your life, or it's because of an action--something somebody else (or yourself, leading to somebody else's actions) did, therefore causing your "phobia" (for lack of a better word) of sex.

So it's something your boyfriend is saying. Before I make any assumptions, let me ask the following:

1. Any childhood events that could POSSIBLY lead to anything?
2. Have any close friends that were abused/raped?
3. What exactly does your boyfriend tell you (that scares you to death)?
4. How open were your parents with you about sex?

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1. I've never been abused to my knowledge or been involved in any sexual related experiences in my childhood that I'm aware of anyway. Of course I could be supressing something, but given the essentially happy and isolated childhood that I've had. I doubt it. (Awhile back I did have a slightly dodgy encounter with a guy but it was quite recent and not a childhood thing, and I had my phobias before that anyway. Also it was a pretty mild event, a guy just shoved me against the wall at some club and forced a kissed on me, so nothing really.)

2. I've had no friends that were raped or abused. Not that they've told me about anyways.

3. Well my bf is definately a very sexual person and unlike me I confess is very open about his sexual desires. It even creeps me out when he just talks about sex in general, but mention of anal sex in particular really freaks me out.

4. I admit my parents were never very open about sex with me when I was a child and we still tend to avoid the subject. But surely this is not unusual. Many parents dont talk about sex openly with their kids. I would think it might even be rare that they do.

If I was to analyse my problems myself, and I have many many times, I would say its probably linked with social phobias. I tend to distance myself from people and find it very difficult to form close relationships. This would explain why intimacy is especially hard for me.

Anyway, whatever the cause the end result is the same. I just dont feel comfortable with sex and sexual actions. I can force myself into it, of course. And maybe in time I'll get used to it. But I cant deny my feelings. Well not to myself anyway. No more than you can pretend you dont want sex.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think sometimes actions precede feelings. This might be one of those times, Sooky.

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I agree, until I've had the experience I can't really decide whats best. Its just something about even the idea of sex that doesnt sit comfortably with me. It just doesnt feel right. But feelings are there to be supressed so I think in this case it probably would just be better to bite my tongue (not literally of course) and try it.

[url]http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv[/url]

^ Take that test (honestly) and post your results (honestly). No bitching (NO bitching).

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

[url]http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv[/url]

^ Take that test (honestly) and post your results (honestly). No bitching (NO bitching).

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When have I ever bitched?

I took the test right away. I've done many of these things before, with varying success. In this case some of the results seem to conflict, so not sure what that means, but here they are-

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

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Originally Posted by Aegis [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I just felt I'd explain Z's posting habits.

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You forgot to mention he is 16. :baby:

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Originally Posted by Sooky

When have I ever bitched?

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You didn't. I just know you're female so I should expect it sooner or later.

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Originally Posted by Sooky

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

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Interesting. According to the test (may/may not be the realistic case), you show signs of disorders that include your "phobia" of sex. It isn't surprising. To be honest, I would just talk to a therapist. They can really get to the base of things, trust me. I have one, and I rarely see him anymore. I wouldn't trade all of my visits with him for anything.

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Originally Posted by Aegis

Sooky, that's simply the way Zarathu acts toward known female forum members, very few of his posts in this vein carry any conviction behind them...There isn't generally a basis for what he says. In fact, he's self-described as "hilariously chauvinistic" which, I tend to agree.

Everyone is well aware that you haven't bitched once and I think many (myself) are impressed that you haven't felt the need to get defensive yet.

Regarding your sex phobia, I've nothing really to say other than I find it incomprehensibly strange. I just felt I'd explain Z's posting habits.

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In other words, I kick ass.

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Originally Posted by vashti

You forgot to mention he is 16. :baby:

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Uh huh. We should set up a ratio.

ZaR: Sexiness:Age
Vashti: Sexiness:Age

Considering sexiness is the response variable and they are INVERSELY related (with properly set asymptotes), we can logically say that...WAIT!

You're a woman, and I'm trying to discuss logic with you?! Forget I said anything.

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You didn't. I just know you're female so I should expect it sooner or later.

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Interesting. How do you know I'm female? ;)

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Interesting. According to the test (may/may not be the realistic case), you show signs of disorders that include your "phobia" of sex. It isn't surprising. To be honest, I would just talk to a therapist. They can really get to the base of things, trust me. I have one, and I rarely see him anymore. I wouldn't trade all of my visits with him for anything.

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I've been to counselling for 5 years! Since I was 17! So far its not helping. Seems I'm very resistant to change. Its not good.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You forgot to mention he is 16. :baby:

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I think she’s implying that you aren't mature and if so she’s probably right. But who wants to be mature!

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Uh huh. We should set up a ratio.

Considering sexiness is the response variable and they are INVERSELY related (with properly set asymptotes), we can logically say that...WAIT!

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So old people are never sexy? What about Sean Connery, Harrison Ford, Robert Deniro or Tommy Lee Jones?

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You're a woman, and I'm trying to discuss logic with you?! Forget I said anything.

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So true! But its those damn hormones that are usually to blame! If only there was a pill to neutralise hormones, then maybe the whole of women kind could be cured. Really must try and invent that.

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Originally Posted by Sooky [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its not an ideal world, people suffer in terrrible ways every day. Suffering sex will be nothing in comparison to that, so I dont see why I shouldnt just endure it and get on with life. So in conclusion I guess I know what I have to do. Its just a case of getting on with it.

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that makes as much sense as a poor African child being offered a lifetime supply of nutritious food, but he says "other people are suffering more than me- so it's not worth the effort the effort to get the food."
There's a difference between suffering because you have no choice, and suffering because you've lost confidence in yourself.

'cmon! it IS possible to get over this!


[off-topic]

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I realize this is totally irrelevant, but I was just kind of surprised/interested by this comment. I've taken synthroid pills since I was a few weeks old and they realized I had no thyroid, and I think the only effect it's ever had on my life is that I need to remember to take pills with me wherever I go. I wonder how that leads to such a deep-seated feeling of inferiority?

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no idea.. maybe it's not that at all. I've just always had that feeling...

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Originally Posted by Sooky

Interesting. How do you know I'm female? ;)

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Because:

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Originally Posted by Sucky

But some sexual things my bf

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Notice the "bf" there? Yeah. It doesn't sound like you're gay.

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Originally Posted by Sooky

I've been to counselling for 5 years! Since I was 17! So far its not helping. Seems I'm very resistant to change. Its not good.

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Counseling, or therapy?

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Originally Posted by Sooky

I think she’s implying that you aren't mature and if so she’s probably right.

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Hah!