Why 3rd grade behavior?

I've always wondered about men and their 3rd grade behavior.......you now what I mean...the:

- Playful hitting/kicking/poking (even the fake hitting/kicking....where they do it to the air near you)

- Playful teasing

- Nicknames

- The talking all manly in their "gruffy" voice

- The tickling and the roughousing/wrestling/playfighting/chasing

- The jokes and the doing dumb stuff in front of you....


I always wonder why they do that to women or certain women...is it because they dont respect the women as much that they don't do those things to?

My guy does absolutely none of the above. The ex had given me a cute nickname but I used the same nickname on him. It's wasn't really a nickname I suppose.

Are you in high school? Maybe he is stuck in a phase. He will probably grow out of most if not all of the above.

Hmm... I kind of LIKE some of that behavior (except the air-punching/kicking). It's playful. Maybe you are too serious?

In any case, there are plenty of men who don't do this kind of thing.

Maybe you should marry a rock then.

Gosh why are you so uptight? I love to wrestle and have fun with my guy. It makes the relationship more exciting. I believe guys do like women who dont act girly all the time, or at least thats what I've been told. Idk, maybe I'm different from you guys, but I've got 4 brothers, so the only woman I was growing up around was my mother. So I am used to rough housing and wrestling and shit like that. Loosen up, you'll probably like it.

Because we are f*#&ing awesome. And we have penises.

b/c it's fun and gets us closer to sex (serious).

You need to relax and learn to cut loose sometimes.

I never said i didn't like it, I just wondered why they did that to women...if it was a lack of respect thing or ...??

Not at all...its having the ability to have fun with your partner...it keeps the relationship exciting

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Originally Posted by sheepingly [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I never said i didn't like it, I just wondered why they did that to women...if it was a lack of respect thing or ...??

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Its called Fun and being boyish. Its what makes men great fathers, IMO.

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Not at all...its having the ability to have fun with your partner...it keeps the relationship exciting

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what about female friends...what about that person makes them do that kinda thing with them and not others....

What do you mean?I'm kinda confused by your last post...can you break it down?

Are you saying there are guys who have female friends they do it with and they dont do it with anyone else?

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What do you mean?I'm kinda confused by your last post...can you break it down?

Are you saying there are guys who have female friends they do it with and they dont do it with anyone else?

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In my experience a couple have done it to me but never was like that around other female freinds/acquaintances/significant others

I think they're comfortable with you. It is in no way a sign of disrespect unless of course he does it after you've asked him to stop and they continue intentionally.

I don't have a prolem with that behavior; I'm with many 5 year olds every day and I'm used to boys playful bahavior :P
But I hope u don't expect me to see such a guy as anything but a friend..

I'm similar Nina. I just can't take him as someone I can get serious with. I would stare at him wondering what on earth he is doing.

I thought I was a playful lady myself but I don't get into these types of plays. I have brothers and I guess the man quickly goes into the "friends only" category if he does that to me. And the kicking/poking is not cool to me. The teasing I assume was things like, "hey big booty" or "you look like a pig" rofl. I don't like name calling or that kind of tease. Other types of tease are fine. :evil: Ticking and wrestling...no. Chasing maybe but that would be a rare thing and would get old very quickly. "The talking all manly in their "gruffy" voice"--I don't know what that looks or sounds like.

I can see him doing the nicknames and the jokes...depending on what they are.

According to the OP, it sounds to me that the boyfriend would do these things often. It reminds me too much of high school and really before high school ...no thank you. I would probably not be sexually attracted to him. If I had a choice between playful boyfriend as in the example by the OP or conservative sexiness, I choose the latter. Hmmm, serious, sexy..wine and dining in a dim room with soft music. Afterward we slow dance and caress and kiss and feed each other grapes....now, that's the play that turns me on. Yes, hmmm. :D

OH back to the topic: when a guy does those things it usually means he likes you.

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Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

wine and dining in a dim room with soft music. Afterward we slow dance and caress and kiss and feed each other grapes....now, that's the play that turns me on. Yes, hmmm. :D

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lol Lesa! each of us is different and is turned on by different things; the only play I would like is resistence play where he pressures me; but it's a play u know, any sign he does it for real and he'll be very sorry.
Anyway like I said each is different; turned on by different kinds of play so it's a matter of preference we happen not to share with the OP. U may like the romantic kind of guy, I may like the heavy metal kind of guy, the OP may like the immature kind of guy to play mommy with :P joking.
someone here mentioned if u want someone serious then marry ''a rock''. well nobody said he is to have NO sense of humour at all; only to be a responsible adult to count on (to be there for me and be tough as ''a rock'' when he must). If he's playful like the OP described I'd have to discipline him and take charge, which is something I find to be a huge turn off.

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Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm similar Nina. I just can't take him as someone I can get serious with. I would stare at him wondering what on earth he is doing.

I thought I was a playful lady myself but I don't get into these types of plays. I have brothers and I guess the man quickly goes into the "friends only" category if he does that to me. And the kicking/poking is not cool to me. The teasing I assume was things like, "hey big booty" or "you look like a pig" rofl. I don't like name calling or that kind of tease. Other types of tease are fine. :evil: Ticking and wrestling...no. Chasing maybe but that would be a rare thing and would get old very quickly. "The talking all manly in their "gruffy" voice"--I don't know what that looks or sounds like.

I can see him doing the nicknames and the jokes...depending on what they are.

According to the OP, it sounds to me that the boyfriend would do these things often. It reminds me too much of high school and really before high school ...no thank you. I would probably not be sexually attracted to him. If I had a choice between playful boyfriend as in the example by the OP or conservative sexiness, I choose the latter. Hmmm, serious, sexy..wine and dining in a dim room with soft music. Afterward we slow dance and caress and kiss and feed each other grapes....now, that's the play that turns me on. Yes, hmmm. :D

OH back to the topic: when a guy does those things it usually means he likes you.

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Oh, I never implied he was a boyfriend. I just know a male friend or two...one in particular who does this off and on some days he's serious but sometimes he can get playful.....this is what he's done:

- Playful hitting/kicking/poking: There were some instances where I'd be going somewhere and he'd poke me in the side (ribs?!, love handles?!?!) and be like "Hey =]"...another instance was where I was talking to a male mutual friend of ours and he comes over does this playful kick to my leg and he's like "Hi =]" and takes over the conversation (he does this many times and I've noticed he does when I was speaking to that particular mutual friend of ours"

- Playful teasing: Although I am an intelligent person, I subconciously have my ditzy days...and I'll forget something he just told me earlier that day...and he'll say "What?! are you going blonde on me =p "

- Nicknames: He's givin' me lots of these...and on one day I said as a joke (but I dont think he realized he thought this was a joke) that I didn't like the nickname, and he got all pouty and said "But I like the name, I'd like it if someone gave it to me......well what name would you like?" and when I didn't say anything he was thinking to himself about a new one and then he smiled to himself and then changed the subject.

- The talking all manly in their "gruffy" voice: I don't remember what we were talking about but he starts deeping his voice and he was teasing me and kept saying I was calling him fat and he starts saying in what i like to call his "gruffy" aka deep voice "I'm not fat I have muscles see, BIGGGGGGG muscles hemph!"

- The tickling and the roughousing/wrestling/playfighting/chasing: We do this alot........he keeps teasing me that I call him fat (I never do but he likes to tease me about it) and he'll say "What are you calling me fat?! Huh huh huh?" and then he'll either start tickling me or chasing me around and tickling me or start a play fight/roughhousing/wrestling thing.......and that gets very playful and maybe borderline naughty/innuendoish......or he'll sneak up behind me and bear hug me from behind and try and scare me.

- The jokes and the doing dumb stuff in front of you: he's always done this in front of me....he'll always crack jokes and he'll just say/do dumb stuff in front of me often.

And although he does alot of the aforementioned, he can be serious as well...great listener, protective, he loves talking even about the deep stuff but I just dont get the 3rd grade behavior like I mentioned above.

From what I've observed...when he's with other women, he jokes around and is talkative but I think I'm the only one he's like that with. From what I can tell.

Are you really trying to ask if he likes you? Because I see all those behaviors as flirty, playful and cute, and your complaining (?) about them seems very odd.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Are you really trying to ask if he likes you? Because I see all those behaviors as flirty, playful and cute, and your complaining (?) about them seems very odd.

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Who said I was complaining?! I've noticed people tend to make assumptions in here with posters...all I've ever said in here was what it all meant...was it interest, less respect, or a buddy buddy type of thing........

When you accuse males of acting like 3rd graders, it doesn't sound complimentary.

Now, are you going to answer my question?

Women ... ...

It's not lack of respect. It's the complete opposite. It shows their comfort level with said girl.

sheepingly, you sound like you have aspberger's syndrome.

^^^ I wonder if I have that myself! I think my bf especially has that hehe.

We just can't get really wild (expressing emotions, I mean ;)) no matter how hard we try. :upset:

You gals who can't take a bit of fun like that sound really high maintenance to me.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You gals who can't take a bit of fun like that sound really high maintenance to me.

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I know right? They sound like the chicks that say "OMG I broke a nail!" or "Dont touch my hair!". I've been told I was liked cuz I was not a girly girl, and I really appreciate that. If I was a girly girl I would hate myself.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When you accuse males of acting like 3rd graders, it doesn't sound complimentary.

Now, are you going to answer my question?

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Im not accusing him of anything, 3rd grade behavior is what people call it.............i didn't make the term up.

And what question is that...

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's not lack of respect. It's the complete opposite. It shows their comfort level with said girl.

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Oh so i guess they are comfortable w/ said girl and no one else...k got it.

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Originally Posted by sheepingly [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh so i guess they are comfortable w/ said girl and no one else...k got it.

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No. You can be comfortable with more than one. All of my gal pals, I wouldn't hesitate to mess with or poke fun at them or whatever. But when I first meet a girl, I'm not going to act like that until I get comfortable with them. Either way, you need to chill.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You gals who can't take a bit of fun like that sound really high maintenance to me.

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I know right? They sound like the chicks that say "OMG I broke a nail!" or "Dont touch my hair!". I've been told I was liked cuz I was not a girly girl, and I really appreciate that. If I was a girly girl I would hate myself.

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Oooo very interesting. :detective

We women are very interesting huh?

^^^^ well you all seem to find yourselves very interesting anyway

Yeah, we women can be a bit complicated at times. I relax by hanging out and studying men ;). I never really analyze the behaviors of other women. I find our thoughts to be fluctuating and too emotional.

Back to the topic:

The most important thing in a relationship or for your potential relationship is how that person makes you feel and how they feel about you--attraction. If you don't feel attraction from the personality or character that the other person presents, there is absolutely no good reason to pursue a relationship or continue a relationship with that person. Well, you can always try (like for the sake of the children, for example) but that may be a miserable relationship indeed.

The men and women discussing the information that the OP presents are basically saying what they feel are behavior they find attractive in a sexual relationship.

There are men that are attracted to girly girls or women who like weekly body pampering. There are women that like the physically playful man. There is nothing wrong with any of these things. It’s only a problem when you find yourself in such an incompatible relationship.

Sheepingly, the guy may be doing those things because he likes you. Do you find him attractive in the physical and personality way?

We aren't born proper and well mannered, we are taught in our early years what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. All of this naturally causes us to suppress our "childish" behavior.

Its possible that a guy acts like this out of immaturity, but more than likely its because they feel comfortable around you. You don't have your bf or gf acting proper all the time, they get down and joke, wrestle, tickle and generally harass you in a loving way because they trust you and feel comfortable enough around you to do so.

Take it as a compliment, its not all immaturity.

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Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

There are men that are attracted to girly girls or women who like weekly body pampering.

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They may find them attractive, but they get tired of them real fast. I don't know any married guys who tolerate this kind of thing willingly from their wives. Probably b/c they are too busy working.

The women I do know who enjoy this kind of thing pay a spa. They don't expect this from their husbands, lol.

I found that women respond more when some playful behavior is present. I think it all depends on the situation and location. A hooka bar while inhaling flavored smoke...probably a bad idea to be serious and boring...a hospital with sick children..probably a bad idea to be playful and poking jokes at everything.

Being mature in some ways is all well and good, but being a full-blooded grown-up is effin' boring, so screw that and go poke some girls in the ribs.

Did anyone else have that thing where you went up to a girl and ask her if she could touch her elbows together behind her back? That was great.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

They may find them attractive, but they get tired of them real fast. I don't know any married guys who tolerate this kind of thing willingly from their wives. Probably b/c they are too busy working.

The women I do know who enjoy this kind of thing pay a spa. They don't expect this from their husbands, lol.

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What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

Can we not say that same thing about the physically playful men?

Does my post indicate that the man is paying for weekly pampering? If the woman wants to do that for herself then who am I to say that no man would find her attractive for it?

I am simply using the two examples posted by others as an example. Change it to "some men have an attraction to morbidly obese women" or "some women have an attraction to men that drive in circles all day" if that makes you more comfortable. :evil:

What is important is a romantic connection. I am trying to explore that with the OP. Or maybe she is just not sure what he means by his behaviors. However, I can't make her feel an attraction to things I find attractive. And no one else can do that for the OP as well.

Isn't it important that we get into relationships with people we find attractive? Aren't people attracted to different personalities and that you have found yours?