I cannot seem to figure out why some guys would let a girl pay for a date, e.g. in the restaurant , resort or wherever...
I cannot seem to figure out why some guys would let a girl pay for a date, e.g. in the restaurant , resort or wherever...
if she's willing to pay.. then i'm willing to play.
raverboy
so Mr. Illusional, if you allow her to pay, does it mean you dont like her that much coz u dont care what shed gonna think about you after she paid the bill?
u dont care even if she'll think that ur such a user?
Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Why does it have to be the guy that pays all the time? Is there some kind of law that says girls can't use their own money on dates?Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
To answer your question, no it doesn't mean the guy doesn't like you. It means it might be the day before payday and he's too broke to splurge. It might mean he's contemplating taking you out to dinner to make you happy or paying his light bill. Stop thinking it's about you all the time and consider that maybe he has other things going on that he can't afford to pay for you to have that lobster and wine.
If you REALLY liked him, you'd be just as happy with McDonald's as you would with that fancy steakhouse. The point is not the food you eat, but the company you keep. If your relationship has to have a price tag attached, that isn't a smart investment.
Yeah, I don't mind when a guy buys my dinner, but I always offer. Sometimes it's annoying when they accept, but for example, I went out the other night with a guy, and he picked up the check. Then we went to a bar and I bought a pitcher of quality beer for us to split. I prefer throwbacks. You pay then I'll pay. Dutch is kind of cheap, especially on dates, but girls should be able to treat too.
If you REALLY liked him, you'd be just as happy with McDonald's as you would with that fancy steakhouse. The point is not the food you eat, but the company you keep. If your relationship has to have a price tag attached, that isn't a smart investment.[/QUOTE]
I'll keep this in mind .... :)thanks so much
As a guy I feel that if at all possible the man should be the one to pay, simply because it is generally considered to be the polite thing to do (although i suppose it would depend on the culture you're from) and if I like a girl I certainly wouldn't want to be sending the wrong message. Before going out I will always make sure that I can afford to pay all the bills as well as carrying 'emergency' money for anything unexpected :P
mcnoodle, thanks rili...i hope my bf has an attitude like yours...
If you've already been dating him for a while, I would have assumed that by this point, you're comfortable enough alternating who pays on your outings.
Then again, I'm from America, and originally from Philadelphia (up North), chivalry is all but dead up there.
we're dating for about three months now, and in our culture, it's not typical for a girl to pay...
Where are you from?Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I promise I won't fly over there and stalk you.
I pay for the first couple of dates.
After that, the girl better be coughing up some money or she can head out.
for cain :
well, no comment, ehehehe
i'm a japanese but i was raised in the philippines
Ah, I see.Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
alright :)
(Most of the) ORIENTAL guys like to to pick up the tab,that's how they were raised.(correct me if i am wrong).
Frasbee,
such a short reply, "Ah, i see",
just curious, you don't like Asians? am just assuming here...
As you said, your culture is different. So, you wouldn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Let me explain something to you, though.
This whole idea, that the only thing a woman has to do is sit down, eat, and look pretty, is nothing more than a FANTASY these days.
I know women LOOOOVE to have it BOTH ways (i.e. be independent when they WANT to, yet take it back to the 1950's the next minute) but no. Not gonna happen like that.
She & I are EQUAL PEOPLE. So where's the law that says *I* must be the one to always cough up the cash? Didn't we BOTH EAT? Ok then. It's crazy how all she has to do is do her hair and dress nicely and that's supposed to be the equivalent of splitting the bill.
Now, I'm not saying I'll NEVER pay. But I want her to know that it's ok to do the SAME for me on ANOTHER date.
NBT,
Things are changing, our culture is experiencing that change as well...it's not yet written in the book, i guess, but the changes are so obvious now...
i'm not just used to it, but i'm learning....
i'm accepting the fact now that i should also do my share when it comes to financial matters during a date...
My mentality toward this "who shud pay?" thingy was influenced by my 2 years relationship with a guy who did not want me to pay over anything, so for 2 years, i was not paying anything when we're dating...
That 2 year bf of mine was a HISTORY now since we broke up already -----here comes the new guy, too different from my Ex, he would let me pay....
maybe, I'm not used to it, but I'm willing to embrace the CHANGE.
what about have menstruation? UTIs? yeast infections? being pregnant for 9 months? giving birth? having guys cheat when you don't look pretty enough? getting plastic boobs and fake noses just to satisfy guys? getting waxed, lasered, shaved...getting paid a lot less for the same job...Quote:
Originally Posted by NBT [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
WHAT are you talking about????Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't think it's unreasonable for a girl to want to be treated well by her man. But I think the problem is that too many people place MONEY as the only signifier of care. If I had a guy who was broke, but went out of his way all the time to show me how much he cared, it wouldn't bother me.
I feel weird if the guy always pays, it makes me feel bought. I'm independent enough that I can carry my own way, and yes treat. But it should be equal, and if it's in the beginning, the guy will look better if he can take care of the girl. That doesn't mean he should be mr. moneybags for their entire relationship. It throws the power dynamic off.
haha honestly if she thought that i was a loser, then she wouldn't have came out in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
by your tone i'm going to guess that you already got burnt.. whose fault in that?
put all the blaming aside, "I" personally wouldn't let a girl pay for me, however, if she asked me out and put up a fight, then i'd put my pride on the side and let her pay. i've already gotten into numerous fights with a girl that i was trying to date over me not letting her pay.
you see, when a girl offers to pay, she doesn't think that the guy is a loser,.. she is being sincere.
getting back to your question, just because i let a girl pay doesn't mean that i don't like her. i find her more independent because she seems to be more financially stable and of course she isn't a damn gold digger.
raverboy
getting back to the paying situation... i can tell that you weren't raise in japan because these days are quiet different from the past. sure, men still do pay for most of the outings, but more so women are stepping up to the plate and meeting men half way, if not more.Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
i'm half japanese and i am raised in hawaii for that matter.
raverboy
illusional,
yep, i'm a japanese but i havent been in japan, i was here in the Philippines all my life, exactly 23 years ...
so i'm wondering why did you bring the ethinicty factor into it if you were raised in a different country..??
raverboy
it's the Filipino culture that I'm pointing out...
oh.... i didn't catch that because you stated that you were a japanese person living in the philipines....i see now.
so why did you or your parents move there??
raverboy
illusional,
my grandparents has business here, they're both dead now, my father, their only kid , who also grew up here , is the one managing the business...My father fell in love with my mom who is half-Filipina, half-japanese, that's it, i'm their kid...
so i think it's safer to say that I'm a Filipina by heart but a japanese by blood...
Menstruation? Can't help you there. UTIs and Yeast infections? Make the guy shower before sex. It seems to be the most common cause of them for many women.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Women cheat just as much as guys do, only its socially acceptable because she'd only cheat if the guy was an ass.
Fake tits suck. I'm sorry, but they do. As for your nose, blah what about it? I'm sorry, but women hold themselves to far higher standards via fashion magazine advice than men would ever hold you to.
Anyway, welcome to the patriarchy. If you're not willing to wax/shave/laser then you can just gtfo of my bed. If I bother to shave, then you had better too. I'm sure as hell not going to be coughing up ****ing hairballs for 2 days after going down on you.
If im broke and she wants to pay, then imma let her do it
You sound like a cool chick to hang out with for sure!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
ahh i see... i just like bonding with japanese people from around the world... it keeps me sane when i have to deal with all these white people who lurk around the forum haha.Quote:
Originally Posted by trisha [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
raverboy
I am not Japanese, nor am I white. =)Quote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I didn't want to "bond" with you anyway. I don't think Walgreens has a creme to get that kind of rash off me... ;)
LOL I kid! I kid!
^^^ it's ok.. i don't care for milky cereal in the mornings either. i'm more of a runny egg kinda person.
raverboy
I get runny eggs about once a monthQuote:
Originally Posted by Illusional [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
A pitcher of quality beer to share, wtf? Two beers or nothing!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I guess I better head out ;). I'll freely pay the tip though. Maybe we can work it out. hehe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
LOL! I almost choked on my pizza, thanks!Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]