Is this unforgivable?

Long story short....My girlfriend broke up with me a week and a half before my bar exam. She knew it meant so much to me and all the hard work I put into it. She said I cared more about my career and the exam more than I cared about her. I tried explaining to her that I'd rather be spending time with you doing fun things but this has to get done (keep in mind I was still seeing her pretty much everyday just studying while I was with her). I was a basket case and I don't know if I passed my exam. We have not been in contact for 3 weeks and I am getting the feeling she wants to reestablish contact. Do you think what she did is unforgivable?

What she did is unforgivable on such an epic level. Your dreams come first. She should understand that. It's best that you guys broke up. Don't let it get to you. It was for the best.

And dude, she's only your girl friend. You're not married to her. Relax. Focus on your dreams.

Cut her out of your life. Dumping you this close to the bar exam wasn't an automatic dealbreaker, if there had been some legitimate reason, like you had abused her. But she dumped you specifically because of the bar exam, which should send a clear message that she is trying to sabotage your career. Maybe she is just an insecure attention-whore, or maybe she doesn't even want you to be an attorney. Either way, you can't afford to have her in your life. This time, it was the bar exam. Next time, maybe she causes drama right before you go to court with a major case, or you are up for partner, or some other important career milestone. Stay on No Contact and move on.

THIS is unforgivable:

[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dJu1Jj7VTw[/url]

Weird part is I told her this month is going to be tough. I am going to be putting in a ton of hours studying. She said she understands and even offered to help me study! Then two weeks later she can't handle it. I will not iniate contact she messed up so it's on her to make things right with me. Not saying I will take her back or anything.

Yes. She was being a selfish bitch. This kind of behavior will continue if you get back together. For the rest of your life she'll plant herself firmly between you and your goals if she doesn't agree with them.

She is a very needy person. If she does come in contact with me and I think she will. What should I say? I am not the type to be mean to people. I think when she finds out I am a lawyer through mutual friends she will feel like she blew it.

If she contacts you, just say goodbye. Say it as nicely as you want, but be firm. Drama queens suck.

Is this the first time you two had a fight? I mean does she complain often that you don't give her enough time? Or she couldn't cooperate even once??

She said she had enough of me studying. During the 4 year relationship we broke up a few times for a day nothing more.

I want to give her a backhand slap for doing that.

Never speak to her again.

What really pisses me off is that you even took the time to inform her that the upcoming weeks were going to be tough. That was very thoughtful on your part. It was even more thoughtful of you to still attempt to spend time with her despite how important your studies were.

Girls like this are maddening, and I'm so glad you understand that she's in the wrong. Now you can focus your time and energy where it is truly needed.

Her parents told me I can't blame her for not passing. I said it's my responsibility to pass but you don't think this will have an impact on my score.

Why the hell are you talking to her parents?

I went to her house to get my stuff while she wasn't home.

First off, I hope you pass the damn exam, it, in itself, is a BITCH! Secondly, no matter what, I hope you never speak to her again. How selfish can you be??? For god's sake, you taking the bar exam!!!! She's not worth you're effort man. There's lots of women who would love to date a guy who'd studying for the bar exam!

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Originally Posted by IncognitoSir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

First off, I hope you pass the damn exam, it, in itself, is a BITCH! Secondly, no matter what, I hope you never speak to her again. How selfish can you be??? For god's sake, you taking the bar exam!!!! She's not worth you're effort man. There's lots of women who would love to date a guy who'd studying for the bar exam!

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She doesn't even have a job.

Yeah, just forget her. And her parents. I hope you got all of your stuff. Just leave this girl behind because you've got more important things to worry about.

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Originally Posted by IncognitoSir [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

First off, I hope you pass the damn exam, it, in itself, is a BITCH! Secondly, no matter what, I hope you never speak to her again. How selfish can you be??? For god's sake, you taking the bar exam!!!! She's not worth you're effort man. There's lots of women who would love to date a guy who'd studying for the bar exam!

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I hope I passed, I started the exam off well but I started to get such anxiety over the whole situation my mind started to wander towards the latter half of the exam..

I wonder how surgeons deal with their patients if their spouses are mad at them? Do you think they are more likely to let the scapel slip? I'm pretty sure they don't get to blame their wives (or husbands) for their mistakes.

Just saying.

She sounds like a whiny child, but you still don't get to blame her for your test results. That's the bad part about being a grown up. You are responsible for your own success and failure. Also for your poor choices in girlfriends.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She sounds like a whiny child, but you still don't get to blame her for your test results. That's the bad part about being a grown up. You are responsible for your own success and failure. Also for your poor choices in girlfriends.

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I am not blaming her. Her parents brought it up to me. She must have mentioned the bar exam/break up to them. It is on me 100% to pass but pulling this crap so close to the test date did not help one bit.

Don't misunderstand me. If it were my exam, I'd still be pissed. You have every right to expect support from your partner for such things.

So, are you going to break up with her?

I don't believe in braking up if you are with right person.

I might see this differently in the future, but at this time I believe if it were me I wouldn't take back someone who broke off the relationship. If those were true, she had noble intentions however. You should never put anything before your significant other.

OP, now you should tell her to f off if she comes back to you,asking to take her back. What bitch is doing something like that just before such a meaningfull exam??? This shows she doesn't care about your future = she doesn't care about you , she just thinks of herself . Again, f her ,boy, you're going to be a sexy lawyer or whatever ,law is hot :p

PS, but girls are right... You have to learn to put your personal problems on the side...

Is there functionality on this site where I can block all of Nov13's posts so I never have to read such senseless drivel?

I was just going to ask if the OP of a thread can just block her from posting unless invited to do so. Her posts are like the sucky B-side of a one-hit wonder from the 80s.

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Is there functionality on this site where I can block all of Nov13's posts so I never have to read such senseless drivel?

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Laila go on her profile and on the left side there is Ignore option :)

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I wonder how surgeons deal with their patients if their spouses are mad at them? Do you think they are more likely to let the scapel slip? I'm pretty sure they don't get to blame their wives (or husbands) for their mistakes.

Just saying.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She sounds like a whiny child, but you still don't get to blame her for your test results. That's the bad part about being a grown up. You are responsible for your own success and failure. Also for your poor choices in girlfriends.

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This and this. I'm sure you already understand where your responsibilities are, since you made it to the bar exam and all.
On the other hand, I'm so numb to love and everything after all my experiences that if a girl broke up with me, it would be EASIER for me to concentrate, lol. I can already hear myself thinking, "FINALLY that bitch is GONE! Now for some peace and quiet around here!"

It's just a bad situation. We were talking about getting married and our wedding plans 2 weeks before this went down. She was my best friend, very compatible. Just to clarify I wasn't studying for the bar exam for just one month, I was studying for a long time but the last month I really started to study. I guess she couldn't handle it anymore.

my situation is very similar to yours aic7780, my boyfriend broke up with me because i was not able to spend much time with him because i was working so much to pay off debts, so i kind of know how you feel and i sympathise. Its very frustrating because you feel like you have no choice but to give them less time otherwise you will mess up the rest of your life and you hope they would understand that, but they don't.

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Originally Posted by fi123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

my situation is very similar to yours aic7780, my boyfriend broke up with me because i was not able to spend much time with him because i was working so much to pay off debts, so i kind of know how you feel and i sympathise. Its very frustrating because you feel like you have no choice but to give them less time otherwise you will mess up the rest of your life and you hope they would understand that, but they don't.

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Has he been in contact with you since? With my situation I feel like she is going to come crawling back. Whether I want her back at this point is another story. Do you feel the same way? It seems like the dumper would experience extreme guilt and would want to make things right or reconcile.

She's a bitch! This is totally unforgivable! If she was a decent girlfriend and loved you, she would be supportive of your career goals. She should have been completely understanding about your need to study. The bar exam is a HUGE deal! And what girl wouldn't want her man to have a good job and have big goals like this? Forget her. Don't even talk to her. She's very selfish.

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Originally Posted by ShannonMI [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She's a bitch! This is totally unforgivable! If she was a decent girlfriend and loved you, she would be supportive of your career goals. She should have been completely understanding about your need to study. The bar exam is a HUGE deal! And what girl wouldn't want her man to have a good job and have big goals like this? Forget her. Don't even talk to her. She's very selfish.

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It's so weird. She was supportive for a long time. She would tell me she cant wait to brag to everyone and tell them that her husband is a lawyer! I just don't understand how someone can change so quickly.

Yea that's awful what she did to you. She obviously couldn't really handle you focusing all your time and energy into this. She probably didn't realize how much time and dedication it takes to become a lawyer. You're better off. Go find yourself a girl that supports you and your goals.

Well, I wouldnt call it unforgivable..there are much worse things that could have happened. But she was a bitch and was very much selfish. Only you can decide whether you forgive her or not.

Hi aic7780 - our split is very recent only since yesterday officially so i'm not sure what is going to happen, i posted a new thread on here today about my situation.

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Originally Posted by nov13 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't believe in braking up if you are with right person.

I might see this differently in the future, but at this time I believe if it were me I wouldn't take back someone who broke off the relationship. If those were true, she had noble intentions however. You should never put anything before your significant other.

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This post gets a D-. Spelling mistakes and poorly supported ideas. Incorrect use of the word 'however', commas, and antecedants.

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Originally Posted by qwerty123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, I wouldnt call it unforgivable..there are much worse things that could have happened. But she was a bitch and was very much selfish. Only you can decide whether you forgive her or not.

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If she cheated on me, I'd never ever speak to her again. What she did to me I could forgive and move on but at this point I don't know if I want to get into a relationship with her again. We've been together for a while and the next step would be marriage. All the posts this topic has gotten really opened my eyes how low this was. At first I felt like I was in the wrong for neglecting her. Then as time went on I felt like she is a moron for what she pulled.

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Originally Posted by aic7780 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If she cheated on me, I'd never ever speak to her again. What she did to me I could forgive and move on but at this point I don't know if I want to get into a relationship with her again. We've been together for a while and the next step would be marriage. All the posts this topic has gotten really opened my eyes how low this was. At first I felt like I was in the wrong for neglecting her. Then as time went on I felt like she is a moron for what she pulled.

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I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, but do pay attention to what you said (bolded). There is probably some truth there. Relationship problems almost never happen in a vacuum. Her problem is that she couldn't communicate what she wanted in a non-destructive way. Either this is a lesson you two can move on from, if you love her, or you can't. Only you know this. But if I were you, I would make damn sure she really understood what the real problem was^ before considering getting back together. Student days are easy-street compared to how hard you'll be working in your chosen profession. She needs to learn how to ask effectively now and not assume you'll have the mental energy to spare to think about both your needs AND hers. Good luck.