i'm not AMAZING

I started dating this guy. Hes really nice and I like him. But after the second date he claimed to be in love with me. He sends me mail saying he misses me and says hes thinking about me constantly. Most people would appreciate this, instead I feel like its unnrealistic. He's met me twice. He was really chill in the beginning but now he's gotten to the point of obsession almost. I talked to him and said "i hope ur kidding about the love thing. u may be infatuated with me, but not in love. lets move slow". He got upset over this and said "not everything i say is a joke =\ ". I think the relationship has potential but is this weird or I just being paranoid?

I don't want someone to worship me...seriously.
Hes had 5 gfs in the past, which he didnt love, he claims.
But im "different" and hes really attracted to me.
We've only been out on two dates, he doesnt fully know me yet.
Yet, he gets jelous.
Help. :nerd:

No, your not paranoid. I think he' going WAY overboard. Especially after 2 dates! Noone falls in love after 2 dates!

Maybe he believes in love at first sight but its actually he's just overly obsessed with you and things will just get worse if you don't make things clear to him that he's taking things too fast.

If he's bustin' your chops now, what's he gonna bust when he thinks he "has" you?

Sounds like the sort of thing i would do when i was about 17/19. Lookin back when i actually got the girl id slightly lose interest. How old are the two of you??

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Originally Posted by easilyinspired

"i hope ur kidding about the love thing. u may be infatuated with me, but not in love. lets move slow".

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How the hell do you know?

He's NOT in love with you. He wants a lot of action very early on.

Wow, I see there is alot of psychics on here.

OV, Let's say this girl makes a decision to go ahead and trust him with what he said...Few weeks after he wants to sleep with her and because they're both in love, it's all good. After that, this kid starts feeling different for some reason...What happened? Not in love anymore? Thats because when somebody barely knows you and hasn't experienced anything significant with you, you can never say you are in love with that person. For the sake of this post, let's also say she's a virgin and he ends up taking advantage of her, I don't know about you, but i'd be feel sorry for her not to mention the guys (player types) would come on here saying things like.."Oh well, you should have known better".

Run. Run fast and far. He sounds psycho.

Well, if he has previously known you and you have been friends with him then maybe he is in love. Otherwise, yeah, he is trying to get in your pants or a psycho in the making

Kick him in the balls and break it off.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee

Kick him in the balls and break it off.

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Yeah totally.. kick him in the nuts. lol. :oriental:

but, he really is a great guy. when we're together he acts normal, he doesnt rush, just casual. online is where he "opens up" and all of the sudden he thinks i'm great. i don't want to lose him, i think theres alot of potential. we have alot of the same interests and come from the same country (we both came here 6-7 years ago).

i do appreciate the advice though

You know him best...If you don't think he'll take advantage of you, then stick with him.

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Originally Posted by easilyinspired

but, he really is a great guy. when we're together he acts normal, he doesnt rush, just casual. online is where he "opens up" and all of the sudden he thinks i'm great. i don't want to lose him, i think theres alot of potential. we have alot of the same interests and come from the same country (we both came here 6-7 years ago).

i do appreciate the advice though

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Don't say we didn't warn you.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Wow, I see there is alot of psychics on here.

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do you have a purpose for being on these forums aside from trying to insult everyone else?

::couldn't refuse::

And, just who are you, Jo, to be asking such a provocative and unnecessary question?

Here's what I think about your situation. Take it for what you want. I have been that type of guy before, so I'm telling you from first hand experience that anyone who claims to love you after date 2 is emphatuated. Now here's what I think about that. Everyone who is emphatuated has some love. Everyone who loves has some emphatuation. But anyone who is borderline obsessive, and from what you've posted it sounds that way, nice guy or not, until he realizes that what he's feeling is emphatuation, you probably won't be able to have a stable relationship with him. I'm not telling you what I think you should do about that. He'll most likely become jealous of other guys, without any real rational reasons, and he'll be stupidly sappy while around you. Just be cautious and go at your own pace.

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

::couldn't refuse::

And, just who are you, Jo, to be asking such a provocative and unnecessary question?

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There was nothing unnecessary about my question. I'm just curious. It seems awfully ironic that there's so much hostility that comes from this person on a "love" forum. So are you his buddy or something? Did I offend you?

Jo: No. I'm not at all offended. I was just being glib. And reading back over the posts, I didn't pick up on the hostility you refer to. That's just OV (and, no, we're not "buddies"). I was wondering why you seemed offended and why you'd bother to pursue an offending situation by inquiring into it at all, much less in such a sharp manner as you did, disparaging OV's purpose without first taking time to learn his style. So yes, I thought, and still think, it was an unneccessary question, not to mention unneccessarily provocative...and, as it happens, hostile. That answer your questions?

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Originally Posted by JoGorilla

do you have a purpose for being on these forums aside from trying to insult everyone else?

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Do you have a purpose behind you being a dumbass?....I doubt it. From now on you are the only person I will ever insult since you cant tell apart insults and comments.

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

OV, Let's say this girl makes a decision to go ahead and trust him with what he said...Few weeks after he wants to sleep with her and because they're both in love, it's all good. After that, this kid starts feeling different for some reason...What happened? Not in love anymore? Thats because when somebody barely knows you and hasn't experienced anything significant with you, you can never say you are in love with that person. For the sake of this post, let's also say she's a virgin and he ends up taking advantage of her, I don't know about you, but i'd be feel sorry for her not to mention the guys (player types) would come on here saying things like.."Oh well, you should have known better".

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I say teh things I say because maybe he does love her. The proper advice is not to kick him in th ballz, get rid of him, be afraid of him. The proper advice is to tell her that if she loves him then he most likely loves her and if not then just stick around to find out(not sex). I am tired of people telling other people if they are in love or not...seriously...how the fawk do you people know that? because if there is some secret then please tell me.

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Originally Posted by JoGorilla

There was nothing unnecessary about my question. I'm just curious. It seems awfully ironic that there's so much hostility that comes from this person on a "love" forum. So are you his buddy or something? Did I offend you?

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Since when is love tied with anti-hostility?. I look at love as a chemical biological feeling..people can be pissed off anywhere.

You are a great guy man. I can only hope that this side of you shows through in your everyday life so that everyone can experience the real you.

It sure is easy to get a rise out of you people. :)

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Originally Posted by JoGorilla

You are a great guy man. I can only hope that this side of you shows through in your everyday life so that everyone can experience the real you.

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This side of me?....what have you been smoking?. I am actually consider to be a pretty nice guy. Your post to mine was the first insult if you go back and read it.

"You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul." -- Julie de Lespinasse

I have no problem with OV's way of expressing himself, I find him to be a great debater. I'm still not sure about your way of looking at this OV...This guy is saying that he's in love with her after the 2nd date. I'm speaking from experience here, i've done the exact same thing and I can tell you that when you do not know a person you cannot be in love. I thought i loved a girl after 1 month (this was 6 years ago) and after finding more about her, I noticed that I was in love with her looks and I hated everything else about her...So we broke up before anything else developed. They haven't spent enough time to see what they truly feel for one another...Love is so many things combined to make 2 people feel virtually one.

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Originally Posted by easilyinspired

but, he really is a great guy. when we're together he acts normal, he doesnt rush, just casual. online is where he "opens up" and all of the sudden he thinks i'm great. i don't want to lose him, i think theres alot of potential. we have alot of the same interests and come from the same country (we both came here 6-7 years ago).

i do appreciate the advice though

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I'm new here and don't know much, but I do know that the internet creates a false sense of courage. If you don't want to confront him about this, I'd just cut down on your online time and he'll be forced to be more real. Otherwise, just tell him what you think about his online persona.

Just my $0.02

Good suggestion, E.

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

I have no problem with OV's way of expressing himself, I find him to be a great debater. I'm still not sure about your way of looking at this OV...This guy is saying that he's in love with her after the 2nd date. I'm speaking from experience here, i've done the exact same thing and I can tell you that when you do not know a person you cannot be in love. I thought i loved a girl after 1 month (this was 6 years ago) and after finding more about her, I noticed that I was in love with her looks and I hated everything else about her...So we broke up before anything else developed. They haven't spent enough time to see what they truly feel for one another...Love is so many things combined to make 2 people feel virtually one.

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I love a girl that I have never spoken too. I love her for 8 years. I have never talked to her and I do not believe I need too. I knew I loved her the second day I saw her(first day is really blurry in memory). What do you have to say to that? ...are you going to tell me I dont love her..think about for a second what you are telling me...its like telling someone who is happy that they are not happy. Isnt it?

PS: Thanks for calling me a great debater.

I totally get what you're saying OV and that's why the definition of love isn't same for everyone. I tend to think that it should involve knowing a person, you obviously don't believe in that.

I guess it's just all in one's definition of love... I personally don't believe I can love someone I never spoke with, never got to know, cause that's what love is to me, loving who someone is. If you never get to talk to someone and find out who they are behind the face they put on for the public, how can you say you "love" them? I think you just love the image of them you have built up in your mind, and what you imagine them to be like in a relationship.

I don't think you can be in love after 2 dates, infatuated - yes. But 2 dates isn't enough time to really get to know someone and see their bad side as well as good side. This is in my opinion.

didn't mean to create such a scene. thanks everyone!

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

I totally get what you're saying OV and that's why the definition of love isn't same for everyone. I tend to think that it should involve knowing a person, you obviously don't believe in that.

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Originally Posted by Tone

I guess it's just all in one's definition of love... I personally don't believe I can love someone I never spoke with, never got to know, cause that's what love is to me, loving who someone is. If you never get to talk to someone and find out who they are behind the face they put on for the public, how can you say you "love" them? I think you just love the image of them you have built up in your mind, and what you imagine them to be like in a relationship.

I don't think you can be in love after 2 dates, infatuated - yes. But 2 dates isn't enough time to really get to know someone and see their bad side as well as good side. This is in my opinion.

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I dont think this way as I tend to believe that most people are the same(good intentions). I couldn't care less what she likes, her hobbies, and how she acts...I just love her either way..its more unconditional then your love too which I believe should be assential in the meaning of love. I think most people don't think the way I do because they apply love to relationships and in a relationship a person's personality is EXTREMEly important. I think that love and relationships are not one and the same. Some people love each other and are in a relationship while others don't love each other and are. Some people love each other and never were in a relationship while in some cases even some people love people who they hate and would never date(maybe because of standards). To top it all off though the worst thing about all this is that your view and my view tend to almost clash each other..thats the problem here that could be the case. He could love her because his definition of love is like mine(he really does love her) but she will tell him no because she believes that he does not love her. That is un-fair.

"...I couldn't care less what she likes, her hobbies, and how she acts..."

That's some kind of love you've got there, OV.

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

"...I couldn't care less what she likes, her hobbies, and how she acts..."

That's some kind of love you've got there, OV.

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"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces."

Sigmund Freud

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces."

Sigmund Freud

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That quote makes little sense to me.

It means that we hold fast to our illusions because they make our situations more bearable and pleasant, but since they are merely illusions, we ought not be surprised when they crash into reality.

I believe the poster was trying to say that your ideas of love are illusional, but I may have misinterpreted their meaning.

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Originally Posted by shh!

I believe the poster was trying to say that your ideas of love are illusional, but I may have misinterpreted their meaning.

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There is nothing Illusional about my love. I see, hear, smell, and feel it with real in REALLITY senses. Actually if you think about it I can turn that quote to go my way and bite him in the ass because technically our personalities and minds do not exist..and what do we call something that doesnt exist?..thats right...an illusion. Our body exists though. Our mind is temporary so in never really exits in the first place...our body will go back to the soil but in some way and form will continue to exist. Interesting thought lol.

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It means that we hold fast to our illusions because they make our situations more bearable and pleasant, but since they are merely illusions, we ought not be surprised when they crash into reality.

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Exactly...it's sort of like seeing something for the first time and then putting other mental images in your head to make that particular thing seem better, when in fact it may not be, and since you have no other experience with it, it's an illusion. Now OV, you can try to do reverse here, the thing is you would sort of be saying that you can pretty much fall in love with everyone...If it's just the physical aspect of this girl, that too can be considered as "non existant" because the way you see one person isn't how every other person sees him/her. Your mind is more powerful then your body and you can see what your mind tells you to see....without being on drugs or anything..heheh

Also, OV...you said you analyze...if you do, wouldn't this analysis come from knowing more about her? Remember..."You cannot know that which you do not understand"....would you not analyze the girl to know whether you like her or not?