"I dont know how I feel about it?" WTF does taht mean?????? can you talk anymore in code? Im not sherlock holmes.........
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"I dont know how I feel about it?" WTF does taht mean?????? can you talk anymore in code? Im not sherlock holmes.........
tomorrow is going to be the first time that we've seen each other since we broke up. I told you you didn't need to come...I thought it was going to be awkward to see you just yet. You said "no, why would it be awkward?" ...umm, because all of my family will be there and they all know or have seen how much you broke my heart. You don't contact me or message me in any form...you've only done it once since we broke up. So why in the world would it be easy for you to waltz into my family's home casually just to catch up and see how everyone is doing. Guess what bud...f you. Seriously, unless you are stopping by to apologize and try and win me back you have no business being here. It's incredibly awkward and I wish I hadn't invited you. I didn't honestly think you'd say yes. What does this all mean? Why are you doing this to me? I have run a million different scenarios through my head for the last two weeks some ending with us getting back together as how a romantic comedy would end and others where you are cold, distant and awkward towards me. Lets be honest...the second option is how it's going to end and I don't know if I'm strong enough to deal with it. I'll tell you one thing though...I'm going to look incredibly hot when you see me...so hot that you'll be saying to yourself "what the f was I thinking".
What do you tell your friends whom asked what happened between us? Why did we break up? What's your reason? Are you having a hard time coming up with one? I bet you freaking are. It still makes no sense as to why we broke up. We didn't really have any real problems...the only problem is that you were to young and immature to know how to deal with a serious relationship. I'm so pissed that every time that I break down and call you that you seem so together and it seems like you don't miss me at all. I guess tomorrow will show me where you stand. I'm so nervous...yet I can't wait to see you...hell even to smell you again. God Dammit ..... seriously i thought I would have started to move on by now, but you still have my heart. You're such a moron.
"I learned to live half alive".. a line from one of my recent songs..this is what I have been my entire life.. half alive.. I always envied other people.. how could they be so happy? even those who have less than I have.. yet .. they were happy.. how? then I met you.. and for the first time in my life, I was one of those happy people.. some days I felt like I was walking on clouds.. and then you were gone... you left such a hole in my life that I wonder if I will ever get up to the point of being 'half alive' again.........
So here we are 3 weeks on after you broke up with me..
Thanks for texting me on Monday for the first time, now I cant stop thinking about you anymore. You said you saw me in the club a fortnight ago but didnt say hi. You text me saying you would love it if we were mates and then say the ball is in my court. I don't know if you're just saying that just to clear your concious or if you really mean it. You've said in the past you're a crap liar but you're definitely better than you give yourself credit for.
That aside, part of me still has feelings for you, part of me genuinely wants to give the mates thing a go but the other part of me it still really f*cked off at the way you treated me in the past 5/6 weeks of our relationship. I want to get into it all with you but there's no point going over things again. Maybe I just have to accept that maybe you're not the person I thought you were, which is probably why I was thinking about breaking up with you anyway.
I really dont know if the friends thing will work but I'll meet up with you when I back in town in a couple of weeks once and then see how that works out. Anymore of your gameplaying and 'one-upping' and you can go f*ck yourself. Right now, I'd be happy if we were just civil to each other when we bump into one another. Worst thing about this is, I can see you bailing on a meet up even at this early stage.
I'm finding this a little tough, I feel like a need a rebound or something as I feel like I've been losing my mind thinking about you all the time. Or maybe with the next girl I need to be a bit of a dick again since I stupidly let you walk all over me. Its not who I am or something I'd be proud of but its been pretty successful in the past. I guess I'm a little annoyed at myself for letting it happen as I could see how much respect I had lost from you as a result.
I know I'll be fine with time. Having said all of the above, I still think you have amazing qualities and wish you all the best.
I guess what hurt the most about the break up was that it was definitely the right thing for both of us.
As you've not contacted me in over a week now, I'm guessing you're quite pleased with the decision you made to cut me out of your life. Undoubtedly, you're filling up your weekends trawling for hot women and zoning out in front of ESPN. You can trawl all you want, and you might even get lucky and manage to bed a few babes. But you know what? It's not going to make you happy, and it's not going to be fulfilling. You had such an amazing girlfriend in me... I know I could be difficult sometimes, and I know at times I drove you crazy... but I treated you so well and loved you so much, despite all your own flaws. You never understood just how good you had it - or what a great catch I was. I'm guessing you've shut off any and all feeling you once had for me... it always amazes me how men are able to do that - just shut off and disengage when something unpleasant arises. Unfortunately, I don't have that ability. Which means I've been thinking about you often and missing you... But whether or not you still feel anything for me, I hope and pray it sinks in one of these days that you let go of a *one-in-a-million* girl. I hope one day, when there is no ball game to go to, when all your friends are busy with their significant others, when you are alone in your apartment with your dogs wishing you had someone to fill the great void in your life - the void that only a special woman can fill - I hope you realize how much I added to your life, and how totally unnecessary and stupid it was for you to throw me away. I hope you realize that a girl like me isn't so disposable - that you may never find again, in one woman - particularly, in a woman who will give you the time of day - all the wonderful qualities I had. I hope it sinks in and I hope you kick yourself for being such a stubborn fool. And if that day should come soon, I hope you call me and let me know. I still think we could work this out...
(Wow!! Very Long :D )
For some reason you sabataged our relationship and I am not the one that is going to be able to figure out why you did that. Obviously in our relationship I just wanted you to be happy and to have the best. I felt completely content with the person you are, with all the good and bad. I was ready for that in my life and can honestly say that my intentions were good and I don't regret anything. I guess at first when you turned a 180 for no apparent reason I wanted to question everything that I have done or said, but I need to realize that I did my best and gave you the true me, something I have had a hard time doing in the past with other people. You just may have not been ready for what you thought you were ready for. I guess I understand that, because here I sit not truly ready to move on. I won't date anyone else because I know I am not over you. I know it is not because I don't think I am worthy, but just because I do not want to do the same thing to someone else and hurt them when I am not emotionally ready and I am sure that I am not ready. I'll know when I am ready and I am going to stop beating myself up over that too. Other people can not answer what will make me feel better at this point. I am the only one that knows that.
So as for getting asked out, and having people try to set me up with people days after I broke up with you, when all I really need is a friend to listen. I will just chalk that up to people trying to be there for me but just not understanding me and not knowing what I need right now. I'll stick to my guns.
I'll admit that I would still want to get back together with you in a heartbeat if it could just be OK. I know that you have problems though and there is nothing I can do about them. It's like you said "another person can not make you happy, you have to do that for yourself" It's weird as I think back to how perfect you would say I was and how easy it felt to be with you, I never felt so comfortable in a relationship, but that is because I was in such a great place in my life and was ready for a relationship. Now I suspect that you were just trying to convince yourself. It's so ironic that you moved the relationship to be serious first. You told ME that you loved me. For your own sake, I waited and made sure in good contience I could tell you that. I think this is where you sabataged us, because when you really got what you wanted and we mutually told each other that we loved each other that's when you self-destructed and caused this break-up. You said you always wanted to communicate and work things out in our relationship, but when it was all on the line, that is the exsact thing you refused to do. I hope you question that when you look back. As for me, I don't want to stop communicating in my life now that I have grown and am capable of it, when I'll admit in my past I was not capable. I don't want to let this experience ruin that progress I made for myself.
I hope you find what you need in your life. I would never want anything to hurt you and that is why I would have been there for you and done right by you. It's a big decision though to not be there for me in return and balk like this, because it's a hard thing to come back from, because having faith in someone is not an easy thing for me. I had so much faith in you. How would I believe in you again if we tried to work this out???? That would be the question. I know you didn't cheat or lie and do any of the absolute deal breakers but one of the things I cherished was how solid I felt with you. I would not settle for not having that feeling or trust in a person having my back no matter what and that peace of mind.
To sum it up, I wish you well. No situation, material thing, work, or trivial bull shit will ever be more important to me than a person I care about. God bless.
^^^ did I write that?!?!?
:O
im done.. good luck with finding happiness
That was interesting. You actually showed up. You were slightly awkward at first but you started to relax the longer you stayed. I asked you to stay for like 20 mins and you ended up staying for 2 hours and only after I asked if you need to leave. I feel pretty damn good about things. I managed to keep my cool and look insanely hot all at the same time. I didn't mention our relationship once and made you feel comfortable. I FINALLY feel like I gained some of the power back and I feel like you were the one struggling this time. Maybe I am wrong...maybe you felt fine and gave a huge sigh of relief after you left. But all I know is that you told me twice that it was good to see me and insisted in giving me a hug before you left. Then you had to drive 5 hours home...by yourself and you probably thought about me for the majority of the trip. Damn it feels good to be the one with the power again. After we talk tomorrow I finally feel good about not talking to you anymore........you can miss me for a change.....suck on that punk....whose sorry now.
I talked to my ex's sister yesterday. She said to me that "it will all get better soon" now I don't know if that means time heals all wounds or that my ex is missing me and still needs a little more time
I'm going to put a positive spin on this and think she is missing me and this will all work out soon.
No contact for 2 weeks bring on week no. 3
awesome!!Quote:
Originally Posted by confused&single [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
:)
i guess my heart wont stop bleeding ...im so struggling to barely live my life...i have not sleep for ages..im in a total mess now..how are you doing now? i do hope you are happier without me. Cut me out of your life is just like clipping your nails? I really need help this time..anybody can lend me a shoulder? my tears start falling now...gosh im so weak
I know it's hard. It's taking everything in me not to cave and write the ex... hang in there and be strong. You'll get through this and you will love again. <3Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
it gets better.. please dont lose hope...Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
thanks alot dear..but the pain is to much everyday i woke up half way in the middle of the night with my tears falling down...im loosing my mind here this is to much..Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I was/am doing that too... it just takes time... you can get thru it...Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
thanks purrzzzz i really do wish ill get better but the reality of life is not that easy. The pain of heart twisting and almost chocked out of air to breath is excruciating pain..i wish to die in my sleep and dream of a nice wedding of me and her happily ever after..forever..Quote:
Originally Posted by Purrzzzzzz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I know... its the same for me... I am getting thru it...Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I understand. I've been quite distracted the last week by thoughts of him... my appetite has basically vanished, I have disturbing dreams, I feel almost panicky when I realize I may never see or hear from him again. Mostly I just feel depressed that his love for me wasn't as great as my love for him.Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Please try to focus on the future... think back on the last time you loved someone, and think about how, if that relationship hadn't ended, you never would have met your ex. And then realize that your broken relationship with your ex will just free you up to meet someone who is totally right for you. It's all going to be okay. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure there's a guy out there who's going to treat me so much better than my ex ever did, who I will love just as much if not more. Try to focus your attention on that prospect...
there have been a lot of men in my life.. but he was the one... the ONLY one... and then.. he changed his mind.... I dont even know if I am over the shock of it... but I have to get over it.. and so do you...Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
good for you dear. For me im still struggling with normal life, having difficulties in remembering few things and task at work, cant tell which is right and which is wrong now....corona is my best friend nowQuote:
Originally Posted by Purrzzzzzz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
im trying to pull all my energy that is left in me to wake up and go to work and hope being extremely busy at work will do distract me from thinking of her. 4 years of being together and plan to get married this year end ....all that is just a dream? im so confuse right now and dont know what to do..Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
yeah, I brought back my old friend... VODKA!!Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
im trying very hard here... because all my life this is the girl that have the same interest in life with me...in almost everything we do..we are so closed together seeing each other everyday and wake up together every morning to go to work, sometimes wearing the same shirt and jeans all thou we are not plan about it at all...to let go all this will take more then anything it will forced me to live half a life or being a human with out a soul...Quote:
Originally Posted by Purrzzzzzz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I've been drinking a lot as well. Mostly in an attempt to get back out there and meet some hot men. Alas... I have several dates lined up now with some smoking hot men... but I hardly even care. All I want is my stupid ex in my life again. I must be screwy in the head.
same as me too, most of my single hot female friend is waiting and keep on texting me to go out for a date. I tried but my mind is not there i cant recall at all what we all talk about or what is the plan date..and i dont want to hurt anyone feelings because it hurts a lot ..Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! LOLOL wtf!!!! (same)Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Fark I just realised I miss your dog more than I do you
i wonder, whats the ratio of male to female posting in this forum lol
lol, shocking to me, but I think its actually more male...Quote:
Originally Posted by Annex [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I just wanted to let you know that she is contacting me more than ever before. You might just end up loosing me for good (well maybe the other way around but it doesn't matter). Were those pretty girls looking at me? Damn it's actually fun to be single. Oh I'm still debating whether or not I should go to Seattle to see this other girl. Geezzz they are coming out of everywhere.
now i know why some people prefer to die rather then living with this pain in their chest...because you cant swallow a pain killer to ease the pain ...and theres no doctor can heal this too. So should i stay or should i go?
I hate to recommend alcohol... but when I get home at night,, 1/2 shot of vodka does the trick! then.. well.. I just drink more and more... but the good thing is, when the pain starts to subside, I can put it down again...Quote:
Originally Posted by kamazaki [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
in soviet russia, vodka drinks you
as i do the same thing with corona now..when i need to sleep desperately ill drink 3 or 4 bottles then k.oQuote:
Originally Posted by Purrzzzzzz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
shit why did you sms me again today? after 1 month and a half you disappear and now you text me about our bank loan..just become straight forward that you missed me and wanted to say hi, theres no harm for being truthful rite?
So, that's it, I guess. I wasn't what you were looking for, you weren't happy and you weren't going to settle. I understand. It helps to know you still do have feelings for me but now, you're so hell bent on being with the new guy that it's almost irrelevant. All my friends say that that relationship won't work either. It'll end up just like this one. You'll rush things and enjoy the whole 'honeymoon' era but you'll fall right back into your ways. I hope you realize what you're doing. You're saying the same, exact romantic things about him that you were about me when we first started talking. Your friends even agree that what you did was wrong and they've seen you do this same exact thing with a few different people. What you don't realize is that your friends sided with me for a reason: they know I did everything and you wronged me. They know I'm probably the best guy you could find but you took advantage and "fell out of love" with me. They don't agree with what you're doing. I'm not going to sit around and wait for you either. I'm going to put myself out there to find someone who will value everything I do for my significant other. That being said, I really do hope you find your own sense of happiness. I care and love you with all my heart. If you genuinely need me, you know how to get a hold of me. I'm sorry things ended up like they did. I'm moving towards the acceptance and the moving on stage to all of this instead of the win you back stage. Yes, I'm in some emotional pain and that's alright. I'm ready to take this pain head on. I know it'll hurt worse some days but I have amazing friends who love and support me. We can't be really buddy-buddy right now considering everything. It's perfectly clear who you want to be with and it's not me. I gave it my best shot but I'm going to stop pursuing you. As before, you mean a lot to me, always have and always will. I love you.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE... dont wish me a happy birthday tomorrow, even though I want you too, it will just mess with my head, and I dont think I can take this mind fuking anymore.
Hey,
its been 3 months. After 5 years this is what I get? Just when I thought we finally had s%&t worked out you go and find someone else. We were still together and you left me. And I dont understand. We just bought a car together and looking at a house and you left me for a dude with a motorcycle, now all you care about is the stupid car I took. You tore my heart to pieces and somehow I still miss you after you cheated on me, damn this hurts. No closure or anything. After I helped you through your rape and your attempted suicide this is what I get? I mean come on. I want to say goodbye but dont know how.
dammit I don't know how long I can take this torment...... Tears and more tears coming out every single day.... will I be blind if I cried so hard… running out of booze now wanted to go out and buy some more but I dont know will I even make it back home driving later……