So confused. Need female advice.

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wheew bringing the heat. I like it, i like it. Some good stuff.

Yea we got matching tattoos... big deal? She is FIRSTLY a friend and a best friend. I don't see an issue with doing that. She was down to do it. I guess im a troll?

So basically now what I am getting is I am trying to steal her away from this guy? I don't believe im trying to steal her away from him if we both talked about me not being the reason she ends it with him. She doesn't want me being the reason.

As for thinking I am "perfect" I would have to deny that, as I KNOW I am not perfect in any way shape or form. Trying to manipulate her into breaking up with her b/f? I think not there also. If I was doing shit 247 I would agree but I am not. Like I said i have stated that there is NO competition between this other guy and myself. No need to manipulate. Plus I hate people who manipulate shit. If me hanging out with her is seen as manipulation I am sorry you see it that way.

I find it funny that I am getting "scorched" here by the men. I guess you are either trying to give me advice from a past issue you have been in or are a guy who has had a female "stolen" from you? Im not looking to steal her.

This might be over a couple of your heads but I am also looking at helping her move on with her life. Star making forward progress instead of steadily staying in this non moving state with this guy. Sue me for caring.

Maybe I should have stated only reply if you have known someone for 9+years and have gone through this. The 9 year thing really adds a twist to all of this. Its not as easy as telling someone to go away etc. etc.

P.S. I like the quote of the month: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~ Mother Teresa

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I'm not "scorching" you. I'm simply trying to get you to realize that you're not the best possible match for her and that if a woman is willing to leave a man for you, she'll leave you for someone else. To assume otherwise is naive.

Also, I've never had a girl stolen from me... but I'm going by personal beliefs. It's disrespectful to another person's relationship to interfere. I know my gf wouldn't leave me for someone else, but if someone was trying to interfere, I'd feel that he was disrespecting my relationship.

What does knowing her for nine years have to do with anything? There's people that are married for 20 years and have an absolutely ****ed up relationship... and they've known each other for at least 20 years. It doesn't mean anything.

Ok I guess scorching was the wrong word.... bringing the heat? I guess in a way I am disrespecting their relationship. I would not be allowed to disrespect it though if it were not on the outs.

Lets put it in this context simply. What does any man/woman expect to happen when they are an emotionless, non intimate person who makes no effort to see his/her partner? Really I feel that is why I don't feel as bad as some of you are probably thinking I should feel.

I have NEVER in 25 years interfered with a relationship. I guess in all reality I am doing that now though. I will in fact start looking at it from that angel. Thank you Cain.

I'm not trying to come off as arrogant to any of your advice, that is why I am here... to listen.

Cain... have you or your g/f ever left a person for someone else? Or ended a relationship in hopes of being with someone else that suited you far better?

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Trying to manipulate her into breaking up with her b/f? I think not there also.

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This might be over a couple of your heads but I am also looking at helping her move on with her life. Star making forward progress instead of steadily staying in this non moving state with this guy.

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Which one is it?

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Which one is it?

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Hence the question mark at the end of my first comment you quoted of mine. WTF?

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Ok I guess scorching was the wrong word.... bringing the heat? I guess in a way I am disrespecting their relationship. I would not be allowed to disrespect it though if it were not on the outs.

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Not true. A guy would be disrespecting my relationship with my gf if he knew we were together and he tried to get with her, even when she shuts him down after the first attempt.

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Lets put it in this context simply. What does any man/woman expect to happen when they are an emotionless, non intimate person who makes no effort to see his/her partner? Really I feel that is why I don't feel as bad as some of you are probably thinking I should feel.

I have NEVER in 25 years interfered with a relationship. I guess in all reality I am doing that now though. I will in fact start looking at it from that angel. Thank you Cain.

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Yes, it's exactly what you're doing. Honestly, if he's that bad, she should have left him without you being around.

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Cain... have you or your g/f ever left a person for someone else? Or ended a relationship in hopes of being with someone else that suited you far better?

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No. Neither of us have. I've left ex-girlfriends because the relationship wasn't going anywhere, but it was never so that I could date another girl I've been talking to. In fact, when I'm in a relationship, I don't let a female get that close for any feelings to develop.

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hence the question mark at the end of my first comment you quoted of mine. WTF?

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This doesn't answer my question. I see the two quotes from you as mutually exclusive.

- Do you manipulate / "help" her to make her move on with her life and start making forward progress instead of steadily staying in this non moving state with this guy?

- Or you don't manipulate her into breaking up with her b/f?


Bear in mind

ma·nip·u·late

1. to manage or influence skillfully, esp. in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.
2. to handle, manage, or use, esp. with skill, in some process of treatment or performance: to manipulate a large tractor.
3. to adapt or change (accounts, figures, etc.) to suit one's purpose or advantage.

Well out of everything anyone has said which I appreciate it all. I would have to say thank you to Cain.

Go figure after I just read the newest posts she called. I just kept it short and friendly. I haven't called her all day until she just called. Just a hey how was your day conversation, oh that's good. I will just back off on the emotion/closeness part. I will do my best to respect the relationshit they are in and see what happens in the future and allow it to take its course. I might not respect the guy but I do respect her and will bow out gracefully.

Thanks again to everyone.

P.S. I haven't once attempted to manipulate her into breaking up with this guy. It is her choice to be with him, not mine.

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well out of everything anyone has said which I appreciate it all. I would have to say thank you to Cain.

Go figure after I just read the newest posts she called. I just kept it short and friendly. I haven't called her all day until she just called. Just a hey how was your day conversation, oh that's good. I will just back off on the emotion/closeness part. I will do my best to respect the relationshit they are in and see what happens in the future and allow it to take its course. I might not respect the guy but I do respect her and will bow out gracefully.

Thanks again to everyone.

P.S. I haven't once attempted to manipulate her into breaking up with this guy. It is her choice to be with him, not mine.

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Good job, man. You're one of the first people to actually realize that interfering isn't the right thing to do. If they aren't meant to be, she'll break things off. Right now, it's up to her.

I wouldn't have seen it that way hadn't you all replied to my distress call.haha Thanks again to all of you.:D

Well another heat wave.haha

I didn't force her into that tattoo by the way. I mentioned to her I wanted to go get another one and she said what I was getting was cute so she opted in at the shop. Female thought process on that one?

She called again a bit ago. Her boyfriend is in the hospital with some infection as of a few hours ago? I just said I wish him the best of luck and for her to hang in there, and talk to you later. Who the fizuck knows huh?

I like the monkey/branch post.

Meh, see how far you can push it. If I was her boyfriend I would find this a fantastic test....though she failed miserably. Girls will run into guys that will attempt to sweep them off their feet a couple times in life and most likely while they are in their relationships, most of the time these guys are full of it and don't even know it themself. It is not morally your responsibility to back off and say no, you are single and should be doing what ever you feel like to get women, it is her responsibility to do so and reject because she is in the relationship....I mean women aren't that ****ing stupid are they? Please tell me ladies that you have a brain that has the potential to say "no".

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well out of everything anyone has said which I appreciate it all. I would have to say thank you to Cain.

Go figure after I just read the newest posts she called. I just kept it short and friendly. I haven't called her all day until she just called. Just a hey how was your day conversation, oh that's good. I will just back off on the emotion/closeness part. I will do my best to respect the relationshit they are in and see what happens in the future and allow it to take its course. I might not respect the guy but I do respect her and will bow out gracefully.

Thanks again to everyone.

P.S. I haven't once attempted to manipulate her into breaking up with this guy. It is her choice to be with him, not mine.

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Good for you. Let's not forget that you are putting your love life on hold while you wait for this girl to end her relationship, which has got to be frustrating. There is probably some great unattached girl just waiting for you to go out and find her. Releasing yourself from your emotions for taken girl will help you open your heart to others.

Thanks for the last two posts. I agree with the first of the last two a little. She has her own brain.

Starbuck thank you for yours. That's what kills me most. Tons of women check me out and invite me for conversation but I put it off for someone who is taken? That's rather silly of me.

Side note she called this morning. Guess her BF is not so good. He will be ok but is very sick. I said, I hope all works out with him. No ill will towards him and im sure he will be ok.

She said back "your the best, no joke. Can I call you after I am done with class?"

I replied. I dont think we should talk as much as we have been. I'm ok with texting if you want to do that.(I find it easier for myself to text and contain my emotions/feelings instead of being on the phone. I don't overstep boundaries and keep things short in texts because i hate texting anyone) Also said if things go south with him in the future let me know if you want to start something up, but until then we need to distance ourselves.

She doesn't seem thrilled about the distance thing but understands.

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Originally Posted by feldy321 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks for the last two posts. I agree with the first of the last two a little. She has her own brain.

Starbuck thank you for yours. That's what kills me most. Tons of women check me out and invite me for conversation but I put it off for someone who is taken? That's rather silly of me.

Side note she called this morning. Guess her BF is not so good. He will be ok but is very sick. I said, I hope all works out with him. No ill will towards him and im sure he will be ok.

She said back "your the best, no joke. Can I call you after I am done with class?"

I replied. I dont think we should talk as much as we have been. I'm ok with texting if you want to do that.(I find it easier for myself to text and contain my emotions/feelings instead of being on the phone. I don't overstep boundaries and keep things short in texts because i hate texting anyone) Also said if things go south with him in the future let me know if you want to start something up, but until then we need to distance ourselves.

She doesn't seem thrilled about the distance thing but understands.

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For the record, I'd take OV's advice very cautiously. It's hard to listen to someone that would lick the puss of a hooker who had 30 other guys eating her out that same night.

The whole thing with respecting someone's relationship is morals. I know my girl won't leave me for someone else, or even indulge in the flirting, but I still find it disrespectful and sometimes guys don't know when to stop.

Do what you want, but morally, I think it's wrong to interfere when there are so many single women out there.

Well, I wouldn't lick the pussy of a whore, and I agree with OV. I see no reason you shouldn't try to win this girl... she's not married yet, and dating is not equivelent to marriage in my book. However, the way you've been going about trying to win her sucks. I would tell her until she decides to lose the boyfriend, she shouldn't contact you... not so much out of respect for her relationship per se, but out of respect for yourself.

Personally, I suspect she loves her boyfriend, but is angry about the lack of attention he pays her, so she is "punishing" him by carrying on with you. I think you are being used.