We can smell it
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We can smell it
ewwwwwwwwwww what does it smell like?
nevermind.
::i don't want to know::
Smells like cheap Victoria's Secret perfume.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Blue, Giga and Cairenn I think you nailed it. I read this post and was like, OMG this is the story of my life. I think I also subconsciously seek validation, but I am trying to be more aware of it. I had a hard time my last year in college after my father died, and the guy I really liked rejected me. I'm starting to come out of it and be my old self again, but what you guys said really puts stuff in perspective. Thank you.
This is the solution I came up to my own tendency to seek validation in others (from the thread [url]http://www.loveforum.net/personal-development-forum/27240-fighting-compulsion-serve.html[/url] ) :Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I spent quite a bit of time thinking about the steps within this cycle... I feel insecure or rather not worthy... so in order to prove my worth I have to show it... demonstrate... so I go forth and do something seemingly worthy in hopes of earning recognition of my worth.
Hence:
Unworthy > Demonstration > Gain Worth
But this cycle can loop over, especially if my actions did not seem to benefit me or only partially achieved what I had hoped.
Hence:
Unworthy > Demonstration > Not worthy enough > Demonstration >Still Not Worthy Enough ... Etc..
This cycle is highly dependent on validation from others, and this validation can vary greatly from one person to the next.
So the way in which to 'break the cycle' more or less is to realize though validation is required for self-worth to be defined... it cannot be defined outside of ones self. Rather this worth can only be defined by yourself... and only use the opinions of others as a guide if you so choose - but their views are not required.
So the process needs to go more like this:
Unworthy > Demonstration to Oneself > Accepted As Being Worthy Based On Your Own Set of Values
Now this cycle may repeat but only when definitions of self-worth are to be updated... such as when the opinions of others seem to hold merit... you feel they have valid points and would like to adopt this within your own definitions. In essence, a person's definition of self-worth should only be changed as newer - better - definitions are found... so that the process can become progressive.
I have failed to realize validation of self-worth is defined by myself... and that once my self-worth is defined, it should only be updated in favor of better definitions of which I truly agree with.
___________
They'd already had some of her before- she was just too drunk to remember.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My hubby took a pic of that tree a couple of months ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I don't think guys go after easy women. They're not that calculating. I think guys go after girls they want to f-ck.
Yes, but, why is that all they seem to want?Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That hasn't been my experience in life. In sleazy bars, maybe, but in real life, most guys seem to want girlfriends.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollerderby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I've noticed a trend with men as they progress in life.
When they are young they go after women they want to ****..
They get a little older they go after women that offer less complications and more reliability, but they still would want to ****.
As they get even older... they go after women that offer less complications, more reliability, capable of being a real good friend, and they still would want to ****.
And then finally, they go after women that offer less complications, more reliability, capable of being a real good friend, they are sure they love, and they still would want to ****.
Some guys go through all the stages in just a few short years. Some guys take a few decades. And some guys never reach the final stage.