I can relate entirely to the situation. Mine lined the next guy up...
I've nearly moved on entirely and it hurt/hurts.
Ugh... learning this stuff is tough!
Printable View
I can relate entirely to the situation. Mine lined the next guy up...
I've nearly moved on entirely and it hurt/hurts.
Ugh... learning this stuff is tough!
"Lining the next guy up" isn't always a conscious move. Sometimes it takes meeting a new person to give you a fresh perspective on relationships. I spent 2 years with a very bipolar guy. He would cycle through bouts of anxiety and depression, a good portion of which he attempted to blame on me and take out on me. I loved him and wanted to be there for him.
In the midst of the cyclical hell that was our relationship, I became close friends with a coworker. We had a lot in common, but eventually we fell out of touch for a bit when he left for a new job. We got in touch again right as my boyfriend and I were falling apart, and right after we broke up began spending time together. I didn't intend on dating him, but our feelings for one another grew very quickly. I'd been so stressed and upset over my ex for a long time that it was nice to just have someone appreciate me and the time they spent with me.
am I the only person who finds it sad that a Facebook relationship status is the modern marker for how serious one is about their SO? :surprised
*shakes head*
It's interesting that you say that. My current boyfriend and I unanimously decided we were not going to advertise our relationship on Facebook. We'd both been through the bullshit of explaining to others "What happened?!" when everyone sees the little heart-breaky symbol on your wall feed. We didn't want to deal with any of that and felt our relationship should be above that kind of ridiculousness.Quote:
Originally Posted by flea [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Then my boyfriend and I were drinking one night a few weeks later and he said, "Y'know... I've been thinking of posting our relationship on Facebook." I asked him why and he said, "I'm really proud that you're mine and I want to show you off." I wasn't gonna object after that. Haha. I'm a chump :D
Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
for the record, I hate Facebook and anything to do with it. it's a festering boil on the ass of the world that needs to be lanced, imo. this relationship status business is just one example of why.
Im on facebook, but dont post anything to do with relationships on there. I couldnt give two hoots about relationship stuff that becomes news on there.
Its ridiculous 'measuring' your relationship based on whether you are listed together or not on there.
I think the whole facebook thing she said just to take another stab at me. She knows me very well and knows I'm way too harsh and never validate or give myself enough credit. We friended again when she had her new boyfriend to show me that they were facebook official and to show me that she took down all pictures of the two of us.
Now her status is hidden again and she doesn't have pictures of the two of them or the two of us. Sounds like an awful lot of work. And those are the only two times I've dared to look since the break up.
Her complaining during the relationship about it not being facebook official, I understand that girls like the little things and that I should be proud of our relationship, but isn't it a tad insecure that she needed that as proof that I was going to be there for her? Is there really any relationship security in a relationship that's six to eight months young? I just think there has to be security in yourself. And that's why I believed it was destined to fail even if I did every request to obey what she wanted me to do. Because I was and always have been insecure in my confidence and she was insecure in her self worth, despite being a very intellegent and absolutely gorgeous young woman?
I just said that she most likely had him lined up because they met each other while things were going bad and hung out all the time for a month. Within two weeks of us not talking they were together (facebook official) and she was jumping at the opportunity to tell me how he was nice, treated her right, and how they were taking it slow, etc. etc. She was miserable for months and possibly was dating him while we were together ( I would always hear from people that she went home with him from the bars and she would claim that he just walked her home and all that). I understand that it's the easy way out and an easy way to fill the void, that's why I think that.
you made a mistake and youre paying for it. also, youre analyzing too much after the break. accept that she had moved on. Anyhow, as much as it hurts just move on. dont think about her since that will make you want her back even more. start dating girls... ive been through heart breaks. one thing i learned, never give your all. always keep something for yourself so if ever it doesnt work out, you wouldnt get hurt that much.
That could be very true. She could have totally moved on. And yeah, I am analyzing it because it meant alot to me and I want to take every little scrap of this to figure out what went wrong and why.
And despite me talking about it all the time, guess what? I have moved on. But, my favorite phrase to say now, is that just because I have moved on does not mean I don't still have feelings for her and care about her. I know that I can live without her and be happy. The next time we talk, and we will talk again, whether she still feels for me or not will not be important. If she still does great, if she doesn't, life moves on. It doesn't change how I feel about her, and that's truly what selfless love is. Having those feelings for somebody without expecting them in return.
Sure talking about it all the time isn't exactly an awesome pick up line. It's tough being a 23 year old post undergrad living at home to be dating heh. I have been talking to a few girls but it hasn't been enough time for me to be in a new relationship, especially since I cannot give 100 percent to a new woman. It's only been about a month and two weeks since me and the ex last talked and I'm in no rush here to be with somebody else.
I wish I never changed my Facebook status a month and a half after we were dating. All my friends came out of the woodwork to congratulate me. Now I'm going to have to change it back to "Single", and I don't feel like explaining to all those same friends what happened.Quote:
am I the only person who finds it sad that a Facebook relationship status is the modern marker for how serious one is about their SO?
Maybe you should all just put "it's complicated" because that's always true.
I customized my Facebook page so that my relationship status is not visible on my wall page, only the info page. I also took away all notifications regarding relationship status, wall posts, etc. No one hears about it when I do anything on Facebook, unless it involves them directly.
This will prevent the whole "Awww, what happened?" if the BF and I do ever break up. And I dunno why anyone needs to know if I posted on Suzie's wall.