No Contact ! I feel so great right now ! :) Hope this helps !

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ladyl [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Good for you McRich. I'm only on Day 4 of no contact, although we broke up around 2 weeks ago for the most ridiculous of reasons. During the 2 weeks we were texting and I was seeing him at work. We work for the same company but thankfully there are different offices so I'm planning to avoid his office for at least another 3 weeks. I am thinking about him all the time but I reckon another 3 weeks and I'll be fine. The hardest thing for me is that as each day goes by I do feel a bit better but it also brings the realisation that he's not going to get in touch and that's really tough. But I guess accepting it is all part of the process. I'm just trying to keep busy, I've just entered a 10k! Feeling much more in control of my emotions at least. I think once I work through my feelings I'll probably even be able to be friends with him eventually.

---

Well done you ! 4 days no contact is great ! I did the same thing pretty much, Texting her, Calling her, Begging her basically, Which of course didn't work. Ha we also broke up for the most pathetic reasons...In fact on the day of the break up she was fine with me, Cuddling me, Telling me she loves me, All it took was a small trip to the local supermarket, Then for me to come home and she was crying......Then things got a little heated and i walked out. To this day i don't quite know what she broke it up over, But if i'm honest, It doesn't bother me the slightest. its over and i've moved on :)

I was thinking about my ex for the first few days of No Contact, In fact the temptation of just texting her was huge, I just remembered how she hurt me, Which was enough for me not to. Things do get so much better as the no contact continues ! You're giving your body that time it needs to recover ! i hope by three weeks you will be fine :) I'm sure you will be.

The realization that he or she won't contact you is a tough thought to cope with, It gets better as time goes by, And in fact, When i had those thoughts, I thought really deep down would i actually want her to contact me ? And the answer is no. Because if they can break your heart once, Then they will do it again, Would you really trust your heart with them again ? I know i wouldn't. Stay strong !

Staying friends with someone you loved is a tough one, It will take months, You have to be 100% clear on your feelings, Last thing you want to do is end up going 2 months no contact, Then to meet up as friends, And for everything to go fine, And start to fall in love again, Because you will be right back at square one.

Best of luck ! Wish you all the best.

Try 15 years and 1 kid. I was out of my house and into a hotel room within a day. Took me a good month to get back to normal

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by patrik [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm glad to hear you're doing so great McRich01!!

I hope you can help me with my problem:
5 months ago I got my heart broken for the very first time in my life. I tried a few times to have the less contact as possible, but this isn't working because we follow the same classes and have a lot of mutual friends...
2 months after the breakup I went on a holliday for two weeks, and I really felt good. Finally NC was possible.
But when she messaged me on fb, saying she hadn't heard from me for a while, all my work had been for nothing.
It brought me back to the start. I started giving myself false hope again, I always do this.
I now got 2 months vacation, so I hope it will get better, but I realised that instead of healing, I'm just hoping every second of the day that she will start to miss me because of the NC.
I'm afraid that this isn't a good mindset at all, and I'm only making it more difficult for myself.
I'm also afraid that when vacation is over and I'm forced to see her again, everything will start all over again!

please help me, I'm new to all of this...

---

Sorry to hear about your situation !

The fact you felt good after 2 weeks no contact does show that you had entered the recovery stage, Although by her breaking that, Suddenly you are faced with a huge dilemma, Do i reply, Or not ? Although my answer would be simple, And it would be do not reply under any circumstance, Its not easy for your self to do that, I know because i was also faced by this dilemma, And in fact i met her after 2 days of no contact, We had a really good afternoon with each other, We laughed so much, We also kissed each other, She kept kissing me, And she told me she loved me, She also told me she wanted to give the relationship another chance ! I immediately thought great ! but by the next day, She was avoiding the whole situation, She phoned me up saving we can give it a go but we keep things a secret.

Basically, This was her way of holding on to me, Tying me on a string incase things would not work out. Which i told her i'm not doing. I sent her a message saying 'Either we go full commitment, Slow, And no secrets, Or i am going no contact'. She then had a go at me for 'not respecting her privacy', Which was a load of rubbish, Since then i have gone no contact.

To your problem now ! Well done for going 2 weeks NC ! It does work, But its so easy to relapse. Especially if you receive a message off her. Although i know its hard, All i can say for you to do is not to read any messages, And to delete them before reading them ! Or maybe set your facebook up so only friends can private mail you. What ever happens, You have to be strong here, Even if she comes begging you to come back to her, Ignore ! Ignore any contact from her. She hurt you so bad my friend ! Would someone who 'Loves' you hurt you ? No they wouldn't, When 2 people are in love, They can and will be able to get through any problem, Even the worst situations possible. The fact she ran at this hurdle shows me she can't handle this relationship.

You will get better, And you will become strong as time passes you by. You have to stay focused, Busy, And you have to stay strong. It may feel like your whole world has come to an end right now, But it hasn't. Unfortunately theres no quick fix to a broken heart, Only time. Just Remember, Everything will be okay !

If you are forced to see her, Maybe smile at her, But don't stop and talk, Remember she will see you smile and walk on and she will see what shes lost. If you stop and talk you will be at square one again, With the same heartbreak.

Head up ! Look forward now, Not backwards.

Best of luck !

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by senokotmax [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

9 days isn't anything like enough to be saying you're over it!

---

Why not ? Theres no set time frame to these things. Some people recover quicker then others. I've just harbored an attitude where I'm thinking positive and I'm feeling positive. I've done my grieving, And my no contact is going well.

The relationship was not ment to be, Hence why we broke up.

Thinking about her doesn't mean you're not over her, it's how you're feeling when you think about her that matters.