So what is your suggestion? Avoid sex for two years? I can suggest that to her and she will be 100% against it.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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So what is your suggestion? Avoid sex for two years? I can suggest that to her and she will be 100% against it.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Google Implanon, it will help you
Maybe get use to the condoms? If you had always used condoms your penis would have adapted possibly by now or she can finish you off in other ways perhaps. You went without condoms so of course it will be hard to go back now. Sorry, but you set yourself up in the trap.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
First of all, I've tried many times with a condom... it just doesn't work.
Secondly, I've never been able to get off orally. Maybe it's just hard for me to get off? I wasn't able to get off even before I started having sex without a condom on.
And I'm not going to have sex just so she can finish me off with her hand... if that was the case I might as well do it myself since I can do it better anyways.
And about the Implanon, that would be only if she would even consider doing that. I don't know how she'll feel about having something put inside of her.
:evil: I'm so bad...You are making it so tempting...:evil:Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It gets put into the arm. It doesn't hurt and the dosage released is precise (i.e. don't need to worry about stuffing up the pill timing). It's safer than the pill. I think anything that makes your situation more risk proof is worth considering.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Though please consider other options as well. I know it's difficult, but it will be a lot more difficult if you have a baby you are not prepared for.
I'll definitely suggest the Implanon. We don't have many options. Any options we choose will make sex less enjoyable and most of them will leave me without an orgasm (not fond of that).
i can hardly understand why people who are older, done with their education, with a place and the financial stability to raise a child, why they have such a hard time having kids. yet the young and naive have the easiest time.
If I could wait until I'm 30, 32, 35, I would... but I don't want to wait that long. I just don't want to.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ideally, I'd rather wait until I'm 25 or so... no later.
why?
__________
Because I don't want to. There's no long, thought out reason as to why I don't want to wait til I'm 30. I just don't want to. And neither does my gf.
You know more power to you if you can make it. As long as you know it's hard and you're... as ready as anyone can be for these things you'll do fine. When we see you stop posting we'll know what happen.
BTW when she thinks she's pregnant is she still taking the pill? The pill is not good for the baby. I hope she's getting herself checked out.
There's no reason for her to stop taking the pill unless she knows for sure she's pregnant.
And we both know that it's going to be hard. We don't know how hard because you have to raise a child to know that. But we are both willing to make it work.
Like I said before, we both would rather wait a couple years, but if it happened now we'd make it work. She's more ready for parenthood than I am. I still have room to improve. She, however, would make an excellent mother. I know it's not the same, but she's been babysitting other's kids while in school and during the summer she works at a summer day camp.
that's great that you're thinking about you and your girlfriend. not so great for the child, though. selfish, you are being.
Because I don't want to wait til I'm 30?
Cain, no offense, but your posts just aren't realistic.
You mention your GF will make 70K+ year. That's terrific BUT she won't make that if she gets preggers now. She will need to be working at her job for at least a year (I think) to be able to claim mat leave benefits. And a lot of moms don't go back to work FT after they have a baby.
You need to get real, young man. As to when you have a baby, that is a personal choice. But make sure you have your ducks lined up.
You are too intelligent to be goofing around with something like this. Either you want to get pregnant now, or you don't. Make your decision with your partner & then act accordingly.
In other words, if you come on here posting you 'accidently' got pregnant, I will beat you to within an inch of your life.
Funny how babies make the most otherwise reasonable beings go all ga-ga.
Just tell me what my options are... I've already explained the options I think I have and two of them are still risky. I can't get off orally and can't get off with a condom... and I'm not going to wait three years to have sex again.
In my case, I took birth control pills. But I was married (for 5 years b/f getting pregnant) & I took those pills religiously. I don't like condoms, they make me itch.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If there is ANY chance she isn't reliable and you don't want to get pregnant, I would look into an implant. I would have had one, but they weren't available at the time. BCC + condom (or vaginal film if you aren't using condoms) are alternatives if she has an 'oopsie' moment with the pills. Condoms or vag film alone isn't enough protection.
She's on birth control and she's reliable with the pills.
I can suggest an implant but I don't know if she'll do it.
It's not like we're getting freaky with no protection at all. I just can't get off with a condom and it tends to irritate her vagina... makes it really dry when she's normally really wet. Lube, I know, but that just stops the dry issue. I still can't get off.
If she's on BCC AND she's reliable, then you have nothing to worry about. If in doubt, tho, (or she forgets--happens) then do what I said. Don't take chances until you can afford it. For example, right now my husband & I are using a method that is <100% reliable. But we are both philosophical about our having another child. We've only got the one, and our life is VERY stable, so it wouldn't be an unwelcome event.
Personally, tho, I wouldn't stop using a condom until I was married (or some equivalent).
There is the pill for men. It'll at least be less of a chance.
As I've said, the problem with a condom is that I can't get off. I've tried ultra thin and ultra sensitive and I just can't get off with a condom on. It was mentioned that we have sex and she finish me off orally, but I have never gotten off orally either. I don't cum just by looking at a girl like some guys.
Well Cain, its not optimal, but few things in life are. So long as you are certain you two are exclusive & STD free then I wouldn't worry about it.
We're both definitely STD free and exclusive. Neither of us are sleeping with anyone else.
Don't get me wrong, everyone. I would love to be able to ensure that it won't happen for a few years, but it's hard. I don't have sex just so I can go to the bathroom and finish myself off. If I could get off while wearing a condom or orally, I'd do that instead. She takes birth control and she's reliable with the pill. I will suggest an implant, but still, there will be a risk as that is only 99% effective.
I also don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a child when I'm 25. Our combined household income will be $100k with me working only part time so I'm not worried about us not being financially ready in three years.
Is your GF working, making that money now? If not, don't get her pregnant for the reason I already said.
Also BCC is basically 100% reliable (i.e. its more than 99%). Its just not when taken unreliably. Tho I seem to remember there were different sorts of hormonal cocktails. Progesterone vs Estrogen combos. Of course, it may be different today. Check with your doc (or PM Vash).
No, she isn't making it right now. But like I said, we aren't trying to get pregnant right now.
If the pill is nearly 100% effective then I'm not as worried about it. Just for my reference though, does BCC have to be taken at the same time as in 10:15 every day or within the hour... from 10-11 every day?
Within the hour is fine.
Then she is definitely reliable. She takes the pill as close to 10:15 as possible, but it's always within the hour.
The only reason she's a little more nervous about the pregnancy right now is because she had to switch from one pill to another since her body was starting to reject or get used to the other pill. Her periods started coming a week early and she'd getting spotting.
How long after she switches to a new pill until it's effective again?
With no break in between, I doubt she needs to worry, but her doctor should have gone over this with her. She can call his/her office and ask the receptionist for a call back.
There was no break in between. Her doctor told her to finish her cycle of pills and then move onto the new pills after her old ones were gone. My gf told me that her doctor mentioned waiting a few cycles to be safe. 90 days?
Only have a child if you are 1000 % ready for it. Financially and emotionally.
And the pill (if that's the method she's using) generally is effective 99% of the time, why should you pull out?! It's *birth control*, that's what it's supposed to do. I used the pill for years and it was the best thing ever.
We're going to continue to use the pill until we're ready to have a child. That won't change. When she's out of graduate school and has worked for a year or two, we'll most likely try for a child. I'll have my RN by that time and will have a year or two where I'm only working until I try to get into my graduate studies program.
Personally I think you should get back to wrapping your tool until you're 100% certain you want a child, like that other person said
This isn't even a legit option for me. I don't know how many times I have to say it. If I can't get off with a condom, I'm not using it.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Cain I think the pill is enough, tell her not to be paranoid...seriously, hardly ANYONE gets preg. while using it. You also said she's good at remembering to take it on time. So just think of it this way, if it really does happen, it was meant to be.
That's kind of how we already looked at it. She's going to continue to take the pill and if she happened to get pregnant, we'd do what we had to do to make it work.
She got her period today. No baby.
She was a little disappointed. Not because she wanted to have one right now because she knows we aren't ready financially, but because she's ready... according to her... "in every way except financially."
We talked about it and we're going to continue doing what we've been doing. She's on birth control... so if she gets pregnant down the road, we'll know it was meant to be.
Interesting, I never understood women and their desire to become pregnant accidently. I would rather be planning and expecting it.
Well, how did YOU feel about this news ya horny bastard?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]