so sick of punks who doesn't know how to please a women

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think that disclosing the amount of prior partners too early in a relationship is asking for trouble.

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Self-actualization of guilt. If you feel that the past shouldn't be relevant than telling the truth shouldn't be cause of any fear. Segregate those you don't want and those who don't want to be with you early on. If you withhold the truth from them, you show no respect. In the end it is just a question, the value of the answer can be high to the other individual. Interesting that you find it at the beginning to be trouble.

I am sure they will miss you very much and care if you make them run with an over-exaggerated lie. See, even us in Jerusalem have what you call sarcasm.

I don't mind if a woman asks me of my past at any point and time and I will answer honestly with no hesitation. I have nothing to hide, feel shame for, and nothing to fear.

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Originally Posted by Jade Altair [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

In the end it is just a question...

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No. It's a personal question. Early in a relationship it's invasive and rude. If you must know how many partners a woman has had before you'll have sex with her, fine. Wait a few months until you both know each other and then ask her.

If you can't wait do like Indi says and get tested with her. In the beginning of a relationship all you have the right to know is that she's disease-free.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No. It's a personal question. Early in a relationship it's invasive and rude. If you must know how many partners a woman has had before you'll have sex with her, fine. Wait a few months until you both know each other and then ask her.

If you can't wait do like Indi says and get tested with her. In the beginning of a relationship all you have the right to know is that she's disease-free.

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I don't understand what is difficult about answering such a simple question. It is not invasive at all unless of course there is something to hide. If a man is bothered by her past thus she is essentially wasting his time as he will end the relationship months into after he finds out. It is all deception one and the same. It is absolutely no different then me avoiding telling her of my intentions of the relationship, in-fact it is a direct identical precise comparison. If she is looking for a husband and permanent lover and I don't mind wasting a few of her months by saying so am I and keeping my mouth shut heh..when in reality I just want a temporary physical satisfaction...no difference at all...of course she could ask and I could answer honestly ...but why when it is such a invasive question?

I guess what I don't understand is what is the point of waiting this time? Why are we waiting and what for?

Well, all I can give you is my personal opinion. And, I assure you, I would fall on the VERY low end of # of partners. So, I would have nothing to be 'ashamed/guilty' of by your standards, Jade.

But, I would still find the question offensive, and I would still blow off the guy ('punish', if you like) for asking. I'd probably say something like "28", with a perfectly straight face.

(is that enough of a turn-off, btw? Mbe I should say "73"? 206?) ;)

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

(is that enough of a turn-off, btw? Mbe I should say "73"? 206?) ;)

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28? Most chicks hit that before graduating high school.

Look the guy dead in the eye and ask if he's only counting human partners. That ought to do the trick.

Or tell him you've hardly had any because of "the affliction".

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, all I can give you is my personal opinion. And, I assure you, I would fall on the VERY low end of # of partners. So, I would have nothing to be 'ashamed/guilty' of by your standards, Jade.

But, I would still find the question offensive, and I would still blow off the guy ('punish', if you like) for asking. I'd probably say something like "28", with a perfectly straight face.

(is that enough of a turn-off, btw? Mbe I should say "73"? 206?) ;)

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I don't know what is enough of a turn off. Not a single number sparks any emotion out of me. I'm careless to the opinions on this. I am always intrigued to all thought though. Why is the question offensive? I guess that is the final question? Though understand that you could essentially be punishing no one but only yourself when you lie.

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

28? Most chicks hit that before graduating high school.

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Is this more exaggeration? I understand how promiscuous teens are these days but the age 17-18 and the number of partners you have presented is still rare.

You don't understand my point. I would be 'punishing' the rudeness of the question. And not really a punishment when it would be the guy who would choose to run when I gave him my inflated number. Think of it as a way of simply giving him what he wanted, which is not someone who thinks like me about these things. Its just a simple test of a person's level of sophistication, to me. Lying has various flavours, each with their purpose. Just like 'the truth'. ;)

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You don't understand my point. I would be 'punishing' the rudeness of the question. And not really a punishment when it would be the guy who would choose to run when I gave him my inflated number. Think of it as a way of simply giving him what he wanted, which is not someone who thinks like me about these things. Its just a simple test of a person's level of sophistication, to me. Lying has various flavours, each with their purpose. Just like 'the truth'. ;)

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You are wrong, I understood that completely. My question was and it stands. What makes it a rude question? as before what makes it an offensive question? ...why is this cured by waiting a certain amount of time?

It's an offensive question cuz its not your business. What I did in my past has to do with me and my past partners, so butt the **** out.

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Originally Posted by Jade Altair [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are wrong, I understood that completely. My question was and it stands. What makes it a rude question? as before what makes it an offensive question? ...why is this cured by waiting a certain amount of time?

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Its offensive b/c it lacks sophistication. Its crude. There are many ways of determining the worth of a person. Number of sexual partners is pretty low down on my list for making that determination. But understand this is just my own opinion, there are a lot of ppl out there that think differently.

The timing issue is b/c as partners get to know each other, intimacy develops & you get to know one another better at deeper levels. Things like sexual history becomes less important.

There are some ppl, tho, who think that kind of question is always off-limits. Kind of like couples who think its not okay to leave the bathroom door open when using the toilet.

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's an offensive question cuz its not your business. What I did in my past has to do with me and my past partners, so butt the **** out.

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Actually, Nisha says it best. :D

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What I did in my past has to do with me and my past partners, so butt the **** out.

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Precisely my point from the beginning. Thank you. Now he should leave...in a hurry...because not only is it obvious that you have an unstable past that you yourself want to hide and are uncomfortable with but are deceptive about it.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Actually, Nisha says it best. :D

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but all she did was give me the answer I already knew most women would give right in my first post. As I said, it just sounds deceptive and untrustworthy.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its offensive b/c it lacks sophistication. Its crude. There are many ways of determining the worth of a person. Number of sexual partners is pretty low down on my list for making that determination. But understand this is just my own opinion, there are a lot of ppl out there that think differently.

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Agreed. If I never told you there was no valid way for you to find out, so why does it matter? If I dont have std's and my pussy is damn good then why does it matter who else has been in it? Everytime I get on this subject I get a bit upset cuz I've been asked it before and found it out of place. I dont think there's ever an appropriate time to answer such a question. If a man finds the necessity to even ask such a question, I will doubt his intentions cuz if my past matters that much, he cant be looking for someone to love for them as a person.

Well, you can call it deceptive & untrustworthy. You are entitled to your opinion. I'm just letting you see an alternative viewpoint, where someone like me would deem YOU to be the immature party. Shrug.

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Originally Posted by Jade Altair [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Precisely my point from the beginning. Thank you. Now he should leave...in a hurry...because not only is it obvious that you have an unstable past that you yourself want to hide and are uncomfortable with but are deceptive about it.



but all she did was give me the answer I already knew most women would give right in my first post. As I said, it just sounds deceptive and untrustworthy.

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Unstable? Unstable is when you cant even remember how much dick you've had put inside you. I can count and remember every guy I've had sex with, so its not over the top. It's just not your business and if you have to resort to asking me such a question I dont think you really want me as a person.

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Agreed. If I never told you there was no valid way for you to find out, so why does it matter?

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This is exactly right. Jade wouldn't HAVE any way of finding out. So, for a guy or gal, its really about coming up with a 'believable' number, isn't it?

My take on the whole thing, therefore, is to simply avoid the question & try to find other ways to determine a person's worth. And, were I to encounter someone who did have the bad taste to ask, I would simply give them what they want: a believably high enough number to send them off.

Think of it his way: if someone is a 'skank', then it will come out eventually in a number of ways. If you are intelligent enough to see it & you don't immediately jump in the sack, that is.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Its offensive b/c it lacks sophistication. Its crude. There are many ways of determining the worth of a person.

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I determine a person's worth by the actions they have taken. As they say "Actions speak louder than words" ...I trust someone's past to describe them more so than the words and most likely and apparently lies at a coffee table. What you did is what makes you who you are, not what you tell me. I wouldn't judge simply the act of sex, have you ever thought that? ...however I would consider a woman immature and un-sophisticated who has sex with a certain amount of partners within a short period of time and a especially young age...even more so when she tries to dodge the question when asked about it.

Just giving you the other perspective.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The timing issue is b/c as partners get to know each other, intimacy develops & you get to know one another better at deeper levels. Things like sexual history becomes less important.

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So you deceive in an attempt to trap them in the hopes that the human emotion to get attached will work in your favor. Wonderful.

I understand the other perspective. In fact, I think I already made the point that there are plenty of ppl, even here on this board, who will disagree with me.

But what about my last post? How would you KNOW whether someone is giving you a 'true' number? Unless you know other ppl who perhaps know this person & can tell you differently? In which case, its what I just said: there are other ways to find these things out.

But, in itself, the question is one that is difficult to ever know the 'truth' of, making it essentially meaningless. To my mind, anyway.

Learn to judge ppl for what you see about them, not what they say. Even with really great ppl, a lot of the time they say stuff they don't even know themselves what they mean. Look for consistency between their words and theirs acts & personality. For example, a clever man would be able to tell I was bullshitting him with my inflated number. ;)

Words don't mean shit without context. You'll understand this better as you get older.

How can a woman be immature for keeping certain things private? I prefer to keep stuff like that private cuz when shit hits the fan you men dont know how to keep things to yourself. Matter of fact they add on their own amount to make the gossip juicier. My daughter's father did that...I never told him how much partners I had, but he went around telling the world I had 17 sex partners...The **** was I doing with 17 partners at age 16....do I look like a ****ing **** box? But no, alot of guys are that way, so it is best to keep things like that to yourself. You see it as being untrustworthy and all that shit, but you got to see it from the POV of somoene who has been through it and chose to keep it to themselves because some guys are just too immature. Giving a man private information is giving him ammo to shoot you in the ass when things dont work out. Thats how I see it, and I know I'm sticking to that.

lastwish, i know what you speak about, though i dont fully agree.
its really annoying that women who change their partners as often as some guys (the so-called "coolest" guys!), are considered to be sluts. all women should have the right to do the same things as men, but still, i think women should not always "use" this right. we should be "allowed to", but we should often voluntarily abstain.
i dont really know why, i just feel so. perhaps because things that we can get too easy, are not so valuable for us, so giving yourself too easy would result in making yourself valueless... but thats just what my heart says, my mind says: go ahead and have your pleasure, i wish you good luck!!! (and i will envy you...)

finding the perfect partner is really very difficult if not impossible.
"f*ck like an animal, eat like a gentleman, not the other way round" - i think i read it somewhere here in the forums. its very hard to find a man who can behave like this. so maybe the best solution would be to have a gentleman husband as a perfect family father, plus a wild lover to get the best satisfaction. but of course that would be very unfair to the husband... hell, life is not easy...
its a bit easier when you are young and single, and dont want to get by all means a serious boyfriend, then you may have your fun... (actually, in a way this is what im doing right now, only with a child to be responsible for, i have to be careful, and do it in secret. i have only one lover, but this relation is much more exciting and satisfying than years of my marriage...)
if i could start my life again, im sure i would much more hunt for pleasure and fun before marriage...

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But what about my last post? How would you KNOW whether someone is giving you a 'true' number?
Learn to judge ppl for what you see about them, not what they say. Even with really great ppl, a lot of the time they say stuff they don't even know themselves what they mean. Look for consistency between their words and theirs acts & personality. For example, a clever man would be able to tell I was bullshitting him with my inflated number. ;)

Words don't mean shit without context. You'll understand this better as you get older.

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I wouldn't know, that is my point. That is how deception works. This isn't though like the truth doesn't exist, it is just that one of the only people to know of it doesn't share it.

Do I speak like the youth?

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Originally Posted by secretlife [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

its really annoying that women who change their partners as often as some guys (the so-called "coolest" guys!), are considered to be sluts.

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Whatever term you just coined those men you have done it yourself. As a man I don't find men who have slept with many women "cool".

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Originally Posted by Jade Altair [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I determine a person's worth by the actions they have taken. As they say "Actions speak louder than words" ...I trust someone's past to describe them more so than the words and most likely and apparently lies at a coffee table. What you did is what makes you who you are, not what you tell me. I wouldn't judge simply the act of sex, have you ever thought that? ...however I would consider a woman immature and un-sophisticated who has sex with a certain amount of partners within a short period of time and a especially young age...even more so when she tries to dodge the question when asked about it.

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How would you like it if someone suddenly started asking you inappropriate and rude personal questions like "Have you ever masturbated to the thought of your parents" And then get angry with you if you got upset at that question? This is very a similar ground to your demands. Some questions are just inappropriate to ask. What's important is that your partner is disease free, everything else is entirely up to them to reveal, their past is theirs and you shouldn't be judging people for that.

Thats what I'm saying. If I am std or any disease free, and nothing is wrong with me, but I slept with alot of guys, how does that change me as a person? How does that make me not worthy of being even looked at?

I see it as a lose lose situation....if I tell you and its too much, I'm a slut(some guys think more than one is too much and I find that to be so retarded)...if I dont tell you....I'm not trustworthy...I rather be "untrustworthy" then.

Chicks that sleep with huge numbers of guys are usually a bit unhinged. Just sayin'.

Unhinged as in slack? Loose? etc?

If thats the case you'd know from the pussy itself. From how it feels and looks. If it looks worn out then its been around the block a few times, to me I would think so lol.

Mines is still purdy :)

No I mean mentally unhinged.

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Originally Posted by Jade Altair [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Do I speak like the youth?

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What you say will always be grounds for judgment just as much if not more than what you do. Speaking is an act in itself and worth being held accountable for.

This explains why so many think you're a tool for trying to be so objective about things. Your projected "wisdom" has come across as nothing more than contrived and instills little more than doubt in your disregard for emotion. You're hiding something. We might as well be talking to a robot.

Oh....well....I think they're doing it thinking it's what will keep the guys around not realizing that its what chases them away.

You know, I just realized that men are also complicated. If you dont give it up, they say you're playing hard to get and the guy starts to lose interest cuz you dont wanna give it up and when you finally give it up the thrill is gone. Why is that? WHat am I supposed to do then?

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh....well....I think they're doing it thinking it's what will keep the guys around not realizing that its what chases them away.

You know, I just realized that men are also complicated. If you dont give it up, they say you're playing hard to get and the guy starts to lose interest cuz you dont wanna give it up and when you finally give it up the thrill is gone. Why is that? WHat am I supposed to do then?

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Give them a little and keep it spontaneous.

Initially at least.

In my opinion the ideal is for a woman to make a guy wait between one and four months and to have a history of not f-cking outside committed relationships. That's really not that complicated.

I think I need an update thread...

tbh if i find out a guy has slept with loads of women, he's basically slutified and dirty to me and its a huge turn off. (i'm thinking how many bodily fluids has he picked up along his way around the block...real turn off, no thanks)

now in regards to asking the question how many partners, yes it is rude on a first date to ask, it really depends on what the depth of the conversations go on the next few dates. it has to be a deep conversation already to even approach the subject. in-fact i don't think men generally ask that question, they tend to not want to know about a girls past. we women are the ones who do tend to ask- and if a guy voluteers and tells me 7 (i'm thinking at least 20) i never ask coz i don't want to be disspointed with a guy- coz usually the answer will dissapoint and put me off. so i basically don't want to know

Whatever happened to the idea that it is rude to "kiss and tell"?

I'm with thegrown-ups on the board... my previous sex life is none of anyone else's business.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Whatever happened to the idea that it is rude to "kiss and tell"?

I'm with thegrown-ups and LadieNisha4U2NV on the board... my previous sex life is none of anyone else's business.

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I edited it for ya ;)

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Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know, I just realized that men are also complicated. If you dont give it up, they say you're playing hard to get and the guy starts to lose interest cuz you dont wanna give it up and when you finally give it up the thrill is gone. Why is that? WHat am I supposed to do then?

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no guys aren't that complicated. they want sex by any means possible, and getting regular sex is even better- thats what a gf's for and then after a while it includes companionship. end of.

what are you supposed to do?? do whatever YOU want to do. if you don't want to have sex then don't. don't allow men to pursuade you otherwise coz at the beginning it's all about sex for them. let them sweat it out until YOU feel like having sex. it all about you babe!

It's true. Smart men only need women for relief. Outside relationships, women are just a bunch of naggers good only for washing dishes. Some of them *khm* can't even write correctly.

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Originally Posted by lastwish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

People usually stereotype the nerdy type guys as being good boyfriends and who cares about women. But from my experience, this stereotype is completely inaccurate. The only guys that I find who are really really nice and willing to sacrafice anything for a girl are those who really have nothing going on for them. And no girls want those ones.

I'm talking about the ones who are intelligent, average looking, and probably didn't have a lot of experience with girls. I used to look for those but I was dissapointed to find out that they are just punks who are extremely awkward and does not know how to please women (have no sense of romance).

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lol, she's extremely right

Well you're right unless the individual in question is a traditional Italian guy, in which case you will be romanced

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Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

well maybe she knows something we don't!??

come on, do tell indignant, i'm facinated as to how you can come to this conclusion. do you know something we dont?

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first of all there's no need to get sarcastic or agressive about my comment. as we mature, we are able to manipulate men or women as well, with well prepared arguements into changing or perfecting their behaviour to our standards. i would love to hear opinions of people over 30 on that subject. everyone will agree that our society, culture, environment and peers affect our behaviour, right? and here you have a partner who is the closest creature to you available to be guided according to your requirements.