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I think that is very wise. ^^ Don't go calling her all the time. Give her something to look forward to. Familiarity breeds contempt.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Also, I love the lights-and-hot chocolate idea.
Well, I just called her again. Left a message this time. Ball's in her court now.
Still no call. Beginning to have my doubts. She never did this before...
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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Don't let your mind run wild, Greek ... it's almost inconceivable that at this point she would just run cold. Maybe she hasn't gotten your voicemail yet.
Carl.
I just don't quite see how that's possible, man. I mean, I called her on Sunday. No return call. I called her last night with message, still no return call. Needless to say, I'm rather dumbfounded.Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So am I ... that's why I think there is probably a good explanation. Don't even think about Sunday ... she may not even check caller ID.
Well, it was her cell phone, so it would show missed calls. But yeah, I am just truly confused. Considering she initiated the cuddling on the couch and kissed me back at the end of the night. Hmm...Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Blowing you off now after how well things have gone between you makes absolutely no sense in this universe Greek. There just has to be a better explanation.
It's possible she's just crazy. (teenage girl, you know.)
or she is busy.
Give me the timeframe again... when was your last date, when did you last speak to her, and how many times have you called her since you last spoke?
I hope you're right. I'm done calling though. It's her turn.Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yes, it is her turn.
Date was Saturday night. I called her Sunday night. She didn't answer, I didn't leave a message. I called her again Tuesday night, left a message. So I've called her twice since Saturday.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yes, but you didn't leave a message one of those times, so I only count that as one legitimate call.
I'd probably try her one more time (not until maybe the weekend), and then forget her.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You got some great experience, and you can learn a lot from this.
Winnar!Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That about explains them all.
As for why she didn't call, I have no idea. Is this girl from school or somewhere you might run into her?
She's a sophomore at another high school. She lives like 1.5 miles a way from me though, if that. I doubt I'll run into her again. I ended up at a Halloween party with a bunch of kids from her school, but practically none from mine, until a couple of my boys showed up.
Yeah, I did learn some things. I learned how to play the game. I lost a little bit of my shyness/fear of initiating physical contact. Ehh, maybe that's what I get for trying to work something out with a girl who's a sophomore when I'm a senior.
Well, she did call me back. She called me at abou 10:30 this morning. I'm not going to school for the first half of the day due to food poisoning and she was at home as well. We had a brief chat, but she had to run and said, "I'll talk to you soon." I was thinking about calling her tonight and scheduling the Christmas light thing for Saturday. Or do you think I should wait another week before doing so? Thanks y'all.
You know, it's possible that she may have a busybody friend at home advising her not to be too available.
I hope not, because if both of you are trying to finesse this, you may well "out cool" each other out of what seemed to be a promising new relationship between two great people.
I'm like the Godfather ... I insist on getting bad news as soon as possible. Call her tonight and ask her out for Saturday night. Leave a message if necessary. If she persists in delaying talking with you or acting more distant than appropriate, you have your answer ... just back off.
Hope you are feeling better.
Carl.
Meh, I'd probably wait until next weekend.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I can see Carl and I are of differing opinions on this. :D
Hmm...Decisions decisions. Now I don't know what to do. I mean you both make good points and vashti was a teenage girl once. She called me back and now I'm still just as confused as before :D Thanks guys.
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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
True vashti, but neither of us seem to be too strongly so. :D
Carl.
Well, I still don't feel to good and don't want to give her what I may have. I think I'll call her this weekend when I'm feeling a little bit better.
I ended up shooting her a text message yesterday. She didn't reply. I'm starting sick of her games. I'm going to give her one final phone call later today. If she doesn't call me back, then I'm done with it. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'd like for it to work out, but I don't want to have to deal with stupid crap like this.
/rant
Part of dating high school girls is tolerating a certain amount of game-playing. This is why i told you not to call too often: it gives high school girls the idea that they have all the power. With kids, power is an all-or-nothing concept. Lots of kids don't understand the idea of shared power.
Don't call her again until late in the week, or even next weekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna call her next weekend. I thought by only calling twice that it wasn't too much, but you're right. Thanks for the help...as usual ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I hate these games...I hate them I hate them I hate them!
There was this one girl I was interested in and would pull shit like this. It pissed me off so much. I hated it, because it was like when she would respond it made me happy. But then she wouldn't respond and I got down.
She asked me if I wanted to hang out at this place and told me to let her know when I can. I would send her a message telling her when, she would never respond and the day passed. She would completely blow me off.
She pulled this crap 3 times on me. Every time I figured, oh she was just busy.
Funny a couple weeks she let me a comment on myspace asking me if I wanted to go there and to let her know. I said ya, I'll let her know. I'm not even going to bother letting her know. I'm tired of trying to plan shit with her. It's not high school anymore, stop playing stupid games.
/rant
Sorry.
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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah, vashti, I'm just disappointed that it happened here. She seemed much better than that at the beginning.
Probably some stupid friend told her "If you play hard to get, he'll like/want you more" or some crap like that! Hell, I know adult women who try to play that idiotic game. So Greek, I don't think you should tolerate a certain amount of game playing as vashti suggests, it's good you are learning this now, and good that she learns this now as well.
Vashti: I understand what you are saying about her youth, but that is no excuse because we learn (or should learn) basic common courtesy and respect well before the age of 16.
Greek: Even though it appears I was wrong when I advised you not to play games, I don't think I was ... because you really have no use for a girlfriend who uses your straight-shooting attitude against you. So I would keep being direct (it keeps you on the moral high ground) ... if a girl tries to use that against you, well it helps you weed out the undesirables!
You sent her an unanswered text message, so the ball is in her court. I wouldn't call her again EVER unless she responds to it ... and that's not a game.
Carl.
I agree...I wouldn't even bother calling her anymore. She got your message, she's more than likely read it.Quote:
Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The best thing to do is not to pin your hopes on the one girl too early: to have a couple of irons in the fire.
If you have other things going, you naturally play the game better and the girls sense that they don't have a monopoly over your attentions, which attracts them.
It's ironic but they less you care about the outcome with a girl the better you usually do.
Well, needless to say, this sucks.
Carl: I think you're right on with the assumption that one of her friends got into her head. Because the things she's doing, aren't like her. Or at least, unlike any view I've seen of her in the short amount of time that we've been hanging out.
I appreciate the advice fellas, but I do think I'll give her one last chance. I'm going to call her next Saturday, if she doesn't call me before then. If she doesn't answer, I'll leave a message and say, "When you want to hang out, give me a call." And leave it at that. In all honesty, it sucks, but I kinda don't care that much anymore. I just want to learn what I did wrong this time so that I don't make the same mistake twice.
I don't think you did anything wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I said it before and I'll say it again. Typical ****ing nut case high school girl.
I think it is best for a boy your age to date more than one girl until you formally establish some sort of exclusivity. I'm not telling you to be dishonest about it, though. Be up front; just don't put all your eggs in one basket. It never hurts for the person you are dating (male or female) to know that you have options.
You're probably right. But for some reason I'm still trying to hold on to this hope that somehow everything's going to work out.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1averagejoe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Oh, don't get me wrong. That's what I was thinking too. But, I just haven't met any other girls worth pursuing since she and I started hanging out. I was going to go to a party tonight with a buddy of mine to meet some girls, but he got grounded and I didn't wanna roll there with no wingman. But, I'm definitely not trying to put all my eggs in one basket.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Now you have the right attitude going on, friend!Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Carl.
Well, I've come to the realization tonight that she's just not worth it. This is stupid and childish on her part to start playing games. Plus, she hasn't contacted me so I'm guessing she lost interest. Either way, I've decided that I'm not going to call her back.
Good for you, Greek ... sorry for your disappointment.
Carl.
Aww, sorry it didn't work out this time. Isn't that the way dating is, though? You have to kiss a lot of frogs...Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah. It just kinda sucks because everything just felt so right. I'm just really confused more-so than I'm actually hurt. Oh well.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
just know that the first one always "feels so right".... and often the second and the third... only then will you see things from a different perspective.... :)
Well, I honestly never thought I'd be updating this thread. She contacted me earlier in the week. Haven't spoken to her in about 2 months. She IMed me when I was online on facebook. We had an awkward conversation. And eventually I was just like screw it, I've been beating self up about what happened and what I did for two months now. So I just said, "I'm going to be blunt, why did we stop talking." Long story short she claims that some guy that goes to my school, who she did not know, came up to her and asked her if she was "that girl that goes on dates wasted" and she claimed that I had told someone that. I didn't and repeatedly told her that until she said that she believed me. Now, the reason she said this is because she and I went out after she had been at the Renaissance Festival and had been drinking there throughout the day. She was definitely not wasted. My thinking is that she was embarassed by that and felt like I cared and felt too embarassed to talk to me anymore. Fact of the matter is that I couldn't care less if she had been drinking earlier in the day. So, I left her with this, "look, if you want to give us another shot, give me a call and maybe we can hang out this weekend." So, the ball is in her court now and honestly, I couldn't care less if she contacted me. I don't know if I would actually want to put up with her immature BS anymore. I'm just happy to know that it wasn't anything that I did or didn't do.