Biology wins. Raise decent children, Nisha. Ask for help if you need it, for their sakes. Continue to improve yourself, for their example as well as for yourself.
Best wishes.
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Biology wins. Raise decent children, Nisha. Ask for help if you need it, for their sakes. Continue to improve yourself, for their example as well as for yourself.
Best wishes.
being pregnant is always a good thing. i'm just glad that i will never have to go though it.
raverboy
If you really feel like your ready than, than congrats
You're lucky to have a guy who wants the child. I found out recently that an old friend of mine is also pregnant just a few days after her ex dumped her and now wants nothing to do it. She's still keeping the baby though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah, but she can leave the abuser. If you're pregnant, you can get rid of the child, if you're the type of person that's okay with that. Most people aren't.
She can't change the situation now. You don't have to agree with it, but nor do you need to belittle her. God forbid someone make bad choices in their lives, yeesh.
Eh... people make bad choices... they will be lectured for it... it kind of goes with the territory. It's up to the person who made the choice to listen to the lectures or ignore them. Censoring those who say things they don't like kind of makes the 'bad choice' seem ok... which would only encourage others to do the same.
It's a learning thing... if you have children when you aren't financially capable of providing such children with all they deserve and need... then expect others to disagree with you.
This applies to any other bad choice... like drug use. "If you're happy, then go with it" probably wouldn't work with drug use --- because it destroys the person's life... so others will try to point out their mistake. "If you're happy, then go with it" really can't work with bringing a child into this world when the only life you can provide is minimum wage and a 'I just know you'll do what momma cannot, and that's be something better'... because this is another human being. The child is never really 'yours'... because they're not property... they're not a pet... and you don't own them. So, you have to ask yourself... just because you wanted a child right now, is that reason enough to have one when circumstances are most unfavorable? Is it selfish to bring a child into such unfavorable circumstances... because YOU wanted them there?
Face it... this is a selfish decision being made... plain and simple. I wish the best for Nisha and her children... but I cannot be encouraged by peer pressure to tell her 'it's ok... so long as YOU'RE happy' because this whole scenario isn't about HER. She's an adult and can make decisions that can affect her... but when an adult wishes to bring a child into their life... they owe it to the child to provide circumstances that are favorable for raising a child to meet their full potential. Sadly, meeting such potential often requires financial resources --- resources that Nisha doesn't have at the moment.
Think about it... Nisha couldn't possibly ADOPT a child... not in her current financial state... yet she (or anyone else) can have as many biological children she wants... even to the point of complete impoverishment. But so long as 'she's happy'... it's ok... right?
The facts still remain... no matter what... and sometimes... the truth hurts.
I don't buy the presumption in this thread that people can't grow up poor and happy (this is not necessarily pertaining to Nisha, but in general). Who wouldn't want his/her child to grow up with wads of money at the parents' disposal? But not everyone has these luxuries.
Do poor people not deserve to have families?
Starbie, Nish is 18. Even if she was rich 18 is not an ideal age to bring a second child into this world. Once you consider her dependence on others the issue becomes even more complicated. This will most likely not be an easy child upbringing and the one to suffer the most will probably be the kid himself.Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Of course it's not our place to judge, in the end it will be Nish's decision as to what will happen, but I think some type of feedback (both positive and negative) is called for.
That's not the question... it's not a matter of whether poor people deserve a family... it's a matter of whether a child can reach their full potential when the resources needed to achieve that are often gained via financial means... especially when the parents do not have access to such financial means.Quote:
Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Even nature itself does not favor those who provide poorly for their offspring, when the offspring are born weak and dependent on the parent(s) --- via food, shelter from harm, and (in the case of mammals) skills needed to survive.
So it's not an argument of 'who deserves to have kids' but an argument of 'if you don't have the resources, is having children really a good idea'? And in today's society... providing food and shelter isn't enough. They need the 'skills' to survive the environment... an environment that happens to be a capitalist society.
Aera, I'm glad you took the time to say what I didn't feel like articulating anymore.
This thread is still going on? Lol.
Anyway, I understand what you all are saying. I know you arent wishing bad on me or anything of that sort. You're telling me what I need to hear.
I've already found an apartment. It's not finished being built yet though. It's a 2 bedroom for $800 a month, which in these days is a pretty damn good deal. I'm moving towards getting a government job. It would be better for me because my boyfriend and I are both going to be off on weekends and I would get holidays off. If need be, I'd gladly pay my parents or my boyfriend's parents to watch the baby, though I doubt they would ask or even accept it. I'm sending my daughter to daycare. She's at that age now where they are accepting them, but since she's still potty training it could be a little while.
My boyfriend already brings home at least 1300-1400 every month so I know this promotion will bring him up to at least 1600 a month.
Honestly, I'm not worried. I know that I will do what it takes to bring up my children in a good home even if it is not a wealthy home. I've already made sacrifices of luxuries I used to get, which is no problem for me. I know there will be hard times and times where I will feel like I've made a huge mistake, but I know I will make it through.
I've had a change of heart about college. I'm considering The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale to pursue fashion designing like I already planned. I still want to attend cosmetology school so I can have that AND a fashion line.
I'm not hurt by what any of you are saying because I know you are looking out for the children's best benefits, so thanks for your concerns.
I'll try to keep you guys updated, I'm not really on the computer as much.
Congrats Nisha! It's too bad so many people are being pricks, if it makes you happy I think that's great. You = mommy x 2 now lol
I think Ladienisha has a great character. Cheers! :)
Nisha, not to burst your bubble, but since you have kids to think about I would *strongly* recommend you consider a career that has a fairly guaranteed hope of a well-paying job at the end. If you are going to spend the time & money to go to college, make it really worth it.Quote:
I've had a change of heart about college. I'm considering The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale to pursue fashion designing like I already planned. I still want to attend cosmetology school so I can have that AND a fashion line.
Consider something in healthcare (nurses & technologists are very needed), accounting, teaching, dental, or even a trade such as electrical--those who can work with fibre optic cable are becoming quite valuable.
^Fras, you reading this too, I hope?
You are very young. 18 is not at all old, you have lots of time & you CAN learn these skills.
FWIW.
i agree with fashion not being a realistic field to find a job in. cosmetology though might be worth it. all she needs is to get an esthetician license and she is set to work.
i really like this change though in Nisha. She seems to be really motivated to do good by both of her children no matter what it takes. She already has everything planned out, and her boyfriend is going to be there for her every step of the way. At least now she has someone to fall back on.
The only problem I have with these service-based businesses is that her schedule will need to fit around her clients. Evenings, weekends, etc. With small children, this could be difficult. Best to get a job that is more 9 - 5, which can expand once they are in school. Even better, one that can be done by telecommute (finance, etc).
yeah, and that would be more secure. i still stick by medical field. medical billing/coding/nurse/collecting/front and back office. it pays well and has great benefits usually and provides security.
Within the past couple days I've been so unsure of things with school. The latest thing I thought about getting into was web and graphic design. My reason for thinking of that is because I'd be taking courses online and working at home so there is no babysitter for the kids other than myself and their father. No one to rely on which makes me feel good. I am dying to be independent, I just know I have a long road ahead of me before I can get there.
I've also thought about nursing school cuz from all the info I've heard about the Labor and Delivery floor from one of my coworkers, I've become soooo interested in it. That or the morgue(lol).
I'm afraid I will have to start out with depending on the government to get a step up. As much as I dont want to, I think I really need to. I'm going to try for Section 8, which helps with rent and so forth, and wehn I am more financially stable, I am definitely going to let them know that their assistance is no longer necessary. Pride is my deadliest sin so I think this is a hard pill to swallow seeing as alot of people look down on people who use the government to their advantage. I'm not abusing my power though, I just need a little help.
Here's a quote from a friend: "If you don't know where you are going you may end of somewhere you've never been." Sorry, I can't really interpret because I don't really know what it means but it sounds good. :goofy:
Also, I have heard this much more than once: College students are one of the biggest users of government assistance. So do what you have to do to get a great start. I know the college students do and did.
What about becoming a Virtual Assistant? There's a growing demand for those, and you can work from home. Still, for that I would strongly recommend some kind of accounting courses. Most colleges/unis offer those kinds of courses online. You can study from home.
Oh god don't do web design. That shit is horrible. I don't even enjoy tinkering on my own website anymore, after a few years of web design.
almost anyone can do their own web designs nowadays. it's not going to be in demand in the future, in my opinion.
Not only that, but there is no real standardization in the industry. Too much competition from crappy so-called experts. Practically anyone can call themselves a web designer. Good ones are much more than someone who tinkers with a web design program. I've worked with several over the years and I learned quickly to avoid those who weren't actually *programmers*. Good ones are also creative, can write well, and understand usability issues.Quote:
Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you are serious about this, then you may as well get an electrical or computer engineering degree... again, thinking long-term and for job competitiveness.
Well, I didn't just tinker around. I didn't use any web design programs either... I used a text editor for everything except making images.
The part that got me was having to design something for someone else. That's why I dropped graphic design. I can't stand it. I enjoy making my own stuff.
Yeah, well there is a lot of crap on the internet too. I mean almost anyone can post a crap video on youtube these days too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I thought Youtube was for anyone to post a crap video, etc.
I'm not into anything to do with numbers. Math is my weakest subject so I am trying to avoid anything that deals with mostly that.
Explain the Virtual Assistant thing you said earlier, Indi. Might be interesting.
You said that you like cosmetology. Have an office located on your home property and schedule appointments convenient for both you and the clients.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virtual_assistant[/url]Quote:
Originally Posted by LadieNisha4u2nv [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
My reason for being on and off about cosmetology is because of the mixed messages I get from everyone. So many people are saying it's not a big business(which I highly disagree with) and its not making much money and blah blah. Eh...idk it's so frustrating and I got a headache from thinking about this so much. It's actually stressing me out not knowing what I am gonna do.Quote:
Originally Posted by lesa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
[url]http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_annual_salary_of_cosmetologist[/url]
You're going to be looking at maybe an annual income of 30K. That is NOT a lot of money. Accountants, engineers make >100K (some much more than that).
I don't know their exact salaries, but nurses, teachers, other reasonably skilled professions (e.g. trades) like this can expect to make in the range of 50 - 80K annually. Some do better, of course, but that's the ballpark figure.
Of course, there's no point doing something you will hate, but you should be realistic about your goals. Also, something else to consider is your career growth potential. Nurses go on to become nurse managers or more specialized (= higher pay), teachers become principles or administrators (= higher pay), junior accountants become senior account administrators (= MUCH higher pay). You need to think about future career growth also.
No offense, but I don't know any cosmetologists who are making that kind of money. I do see lots of gals in malls working for Lancome who look dead on there feet, working for peanuts, while I buy my tiny $100 jar of beauty cream. Hmmm. I'm not bragging, btw. I'm asking you: Who would you rather be, Nish?
You can do anything you put your mind to, girl. Math isn't as hard as you think, you've just had a bad experience, I suspect. 18 is a baby, tons of time to learn what you need. Don't let that kind of artificial barrier stop you from doing what you need to.
Honestly I dont mind the nursing field at all. I would definitely get into that. But I just really.....really.....REALLY...hate math. Never liked it at all. So I'm thinking about nursing school when it comes to thinking about making more money AND enjoying my job.
Well, then you have the perfect person to ask about that. Vash just recently graduated from nursing school with flying colours, I believe. Great resource.
Nisha... it took me until now to figure out what it is that I want to be...
I have an analytical mindset which made the possibilities freakin' endless... However, I took a look at my past experiences.. and realized that I am most comfortable 'analyzing' anything involving business... particularly the concepts of money going out for goods, paying for such goods to be serviced (via employees), and then such goods being sold for more than the cost of raw materials and the labor... and seeing how this tally ups into revenue needed for bills... and then ultimately business growth.
It just hit me one day... that in all my piss ant jobs... I couldn't help but to get tangled with wanting to help with the dynamics of whatever business I happened to be working in. I honestly... freakin love it... and that's where I truly want to be. No denying it... I gravitate towards it... and just feel happy when I can offer my advice... see people take it... and watch their business improve because of it. I just love to find the missing clues in the formula's and equations they missed... and present it in a format that makes them think "My god... is it really that simple? How did I miss that?"
So think long and hard... what is it that you naturally gravitate towards... and feel the happiest when you are in the midst of... work wise. Now think about all the possible careers that can put you in that position or very nearly so.
Eh, I noticed she avoided this thread so idk what she will say but hopefully she can help me out. Thanks again.
Yea Im gonna have to think about what I reeeaaaallly can see myself doing for the rest of my life.
Well you better jump on that soon, sorry but I have my doubts about your boyfriend.
No, I'm not basing anything off his character, just taking into consideration that you guys haven't been dating long and you both are no doubt still in the honey moon period. I wouldn't be as pessimistic were you 2 or 3 years into a stable relationship.
No one can tell you the perfect career for you LadieNisha. There are plenty of great professions that make good money but you will have to assess your likes, dislikes, abilities, and motivations for those career choices.
Engineering...
Generally speaking you're looking at anywhere from 50-70K out of college with a BS. With a master figure about 10K+. Now once you're with the company for a while figure about 80-100K, no more than 100K. But, if you're an engineer in management you can make some serious dough. Looking at either from 100-300K depending on you're experience, how long you've been with the company, and where you are.
Same for accounting. I know this personally.Quote:
Originally Posted by 1averagejoe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You'll be doing math in Nursing as well, Nisha. I found it rather easy, but it is still math and you have to know it perfectly because otherwise you can kill someone.
The reason I have doubts about your bf is because you said he's an ex-player. I wonder how he's going to react once the reality of a baby and settling down with you for good sets in.