Dude I look worse then you do !!!!!!!!
So it's not a looks problem :)
You have got to like yourself before you can expect anyone else to.
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Dude I look worse then you do !!!!!!!!
So it's not a looks problem :)
You have got to like yourself before you can expect anyone else to.
BoredGeorge is the forum misogynist and complains the most about his failed love life... so it may not be wise to accept advice from him... just a courtesy.
I didn't see you as effiminate. You're just a regular guy who happens to be a little short. Nothing that really matters when you have confidence in yourself.
Ok I can speak from a similar point of view.. I was once in your shoes. And I'm still making some of the same mistakes with my current GF. You have to be considerate of girls but they really want to know what you like to do. They don't want to make plans for dates, and certainly won't come up to you and ask you out..(usually) Anyway.. Point is just get out there and start asking girls out.. Don't worry, just get practice in doing it. You will fail at first probably but after some practice you will get it right.. It's the only way to learn I think. Just wait once you figure out the beginning of dating you have to figure out how to make it last. That's a real challenge too.
Good luck and God bless to you my friend. Please wish me the same.. I need it. Got a great girlfriend, but may loose her if I don't figure things out.
its just trying to get that confidence. Just back from the gym there. Been going about 3 or 4 times a week now, its making a difference to my arms. I do actually have a bad back and my posture is quite poor but im hoping I can build other areas of my body to overlook that.
I'v got alot to offer a girl. Im gonna change my ways and approach woman from now on. Whatever girl gets me is gonna be one lucky lady haha :D Next weekend hopefully with a few pints down me I'll be confident enough to ask a girl if I can buy them a drink :)
that's the spirit!:DQuote:
Originally Posted by bazM [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
and baz, if the back thing is one of the big factors for your lack of confidence, see an orthopeadic specialist, that problem if sorted out now can be fixed.
Yeah man, you aren't ugly at all. You are trim, cut hair, and seem to be social enough to flash a thumbs up for the camera.
You can go to the gym all day, and night if you want. I do recommend it for health and the little benefits it will bring you with the ladies. But mostly it is 100% all INNER-GAME that you need to focus on.
And no, I am not talking about some kind of sleezy pick-up line inner-game. I am talking about, there is something that you tell the entire world with your eyes. And that message that I can see, even in your photo, is this... "I will follow you around like a little lost puppy, and will do whatever you tell me to do."
Well there is nothing more putrid smelling to a woman than a man with no confidence. You are the prize. You have to realize that in your world, you are the center of everything you do. A woman is NOT the goal. She is part of the package that is you. And you would be part of the package that is her, as she is the center of her own world. It isn't about arrogance. I find so many times that guys with no self-confidence are very afraid of feeling arrogant. My response to that is... don't worry buddy, you couldn't be arrogant if you started erecting status of yourself.
You should be telling yourself everyday, "I am the prize. Anyone that is to be with me, would be a very smart and lucky girl." And don't waste time saying to yourself things like, "I'm good looking. I'm going to the gym. Just wait until I get those killer muscles, then all the ladies will come running." Screw how you look. Did you hear me??? SCREW HOW YOU LOOK.
I mean, stay clean and smelling nice, and brush your teeth, and keep your hair in order and styled as best you can. Make sure your clothes are in proper order, and maybe even buy some accessories to make yourself feel more stylish. A new awesome watch, a pair of RayBan wayfarer sun glasses, a knee length black wool P-coat, and some proper shoes. But realize that all of that isn't to make you look sexier, nicer, or richer... it is to make you look more confident.
CONFIDENCE is like magic fcuking fairy dust. If you have it, you can sprinkle it over the head of any woman, and voila... she'll love you. And why not??? You are and awesome guy right? If she is a healthy woman, with a brain, and healthy goals in life etc. then she'd be a silly twirp to NOT want to be with a well put together, kind man, that is confident, funny, and drives a freaking BMW. Hell man, I might even want a go with you.
Just forget about how you think you look. But remember this one thing... THEY ARE NOT GOING TO COME TO YOU!!! You have to go to the ladies. Take control of yourself man. Life is too short to waste it posting on internet forums.
My experience tells me that women prefer men from dominant social classes. It's what women are genetically programmed to do.
In Brazil for example there are white beauty standards, in television... And white people in Brazil are clearly richer... Even the ultra-high-upper class, is ligher, with more blondism, than middle class.
In Brazil it's very common to see good-looking black men dating enormous blonde women... And also, some weirdish looking gringos, dating amazingly beautiful mulato girls... In Brazil dating a white person is a kind of "bridge" to a higher social degree.
To some black people, a ugly white dating is an oportunity. Not consciously, in mostly cases. To the ugly white person... Since they never experienced racism, their biggest trauma, is being ugly. Dating someone beautiful, of any ethnic group, even poorer or discriminated, would be a victory.
Women like dominant class men. It's not sexism. Obviously women are attracted to "respected" or "well succeded" men. Do not relativize it. It's a perfectly acceptable generalization.
Women will always prefer men from dominant social classes, if they were Maoris, they would love them too... When Germans invaded France, French girls WANTED to date German soldiers. And after Germans were kicked off, French men shaved those girl's heads. Greek men hanged Greek women, who dated Italian invaders.
If the US invades Brazil, Brazilian girls will be INSTANTLY DATING AMERICAN SOLDIERS... Brazilian girls would chase them as fresh expensive meat, and Brazilian men, would call them all "whores"...
That's Human Kind.
It's cause you drive a BMW. Invest in a Lamborghini or Ferrari and you WILL get girls
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by pisces7378 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Pretty good post pisces, though I'm not following this logic very well. Baz is fine, when he finishes his e-book he'll be rolling in Euro babes :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pisces7378 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Uri is DEFINITELY right on a socio/anthropological scale. If you examine attraction historically, class, or at least the perception of class, does play a role.
But I find that to be a very complex situation to carry around in your head when you are just trying to pick up a girl at a bar, or even at the library. Your best bet is to become confident.
How? You might ask. Well, I am a huge believe in the "fake it, until you make it" philosophy. Who cares if you really ARE confident. Just act confident. I don't mean start chewing on a match stick, and wearing your sunglasses inside like some ridiculous Sylvester Stalone movie. I don't mean changing the way you walk or trying to lower your speaking voice. You CANNOT fake those things. Women can see right through bullshit like a laser guided, armor piercing, high impact, projectile.
What you CAN do, is start talking to people. ANYONE. In the beginning, just make it a point to strike up a random conversation with at least 5 people in one day. Not huge conversation. Even if you just plop down on a bench and make a comment about the weather. That counts. They don't have to be girls. You can start by talking to an old man in line at the post office. Just talk. And over time, try to see how long you can extend the conversations without becoming weird or annoying. Use the same stories over and over if you have to.
You will naturally begin to learn people. You will be able to read when this lady feels threatened by you, and how you can put her at ease. Or this guy is a real talker, and how to get away from him politely. It is all about getting to know human beings, and how we all communicate. You can trust me when I say that this simple exercise will grow your self-confidence ten fold. You must keep it up always. If you stop talking to people, the confidence will atrophy, and you will back slide.
Confidence is like a snow ball, once you get it rolling, it just grows and grows. The simplest of exercises gets it rolling.
just back from the gym there, thanks for your comments guys. Iv not been out at the clubs since iv posted this yet but hopefully next time im out im gonna talk to a girl/girls. I really need to start not caring.
This forum is better than I thought :D
Watch 'Hitch'. Does wonders. Learn some dance moves from it too.
Wealth is certaintly a factor here but being a nice person is too. I think that not many women will want to date a egocentric, mean or rude guy no matter how rich or good-looking he is. A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.Quote:
Originally Posted by pisces7378 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Unfortunately, in the selfish and highly competitive world we live in, love is really difficult to find unless you want to join a Unification Church or something. That's not to say love doesn't exist but I think our world really suffers from lack of love.
Nowadays love has become more like a market or like something you must buy or compete with others to get. People lose their modesty. Women are not modest anymore as they used to be and are taught by modern society to seek wealth and power.
you look like someone that had at least a couple of girlfriends. i guess you just have to spit your game right? i am exactly how you describe yourself. i'm short (5'4), i am close to your age (20, 21 in april) and skinny and shy as well. me too haven't been in a legit relationship in my life. i've dated girls but when it came to becoming more serious, i got let down. but these rejections and let downs wont get the best of me. just think more positive and have confidence in yourself.
I am not a misogynist I just think looks are important.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You don't think he is effiminate ? Then wtf do you call effeminite ? Quit pissing in the guys pocket like all women do he needs to look more manly and badass.
anyone into cars here? Heres a pic of my car
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Its a BMW M Sport 2 litre engine. I love it to be honest. That is not my registration I now have a private plate on it. Im gonna tint the windows and get HID's for it. (anyone who is into car modifying will know here).
Back to the girls, I had a really good day at work today. I get on really well with my colleagues and have a good laugh. Its because they are all good people and stuff but Im not like attracted to any of them (like them) thats why I think I get on with them more. How do I act like this with people I am attracted to or like.
This is a friday night but im staying in tonight as I have work tomorrow at 1pm but im also trying to save money so I can do the modifications to my car.
I was at the gym there Monday, tuesday, wednesdsay and thursday for on average 2 hours per time. It makes me feel good afterwards and during it because Im not thinking about woman and not thinking about negative things.
Yea i have dated a few girls. I was seeing someone there for four months. She was very sexy (and I mean it). I could never really understand why she was with me. But i was not attracted to her personality. I just couldn't fall in love with her. I think she was too good for me looks wise. And I was too good for her persons wise to be honest.
Writing this comment just now im actually feeling pretty good. I dont have any woman on the go or anything but im looking on the positive things. only 21 and achieved a decent enough job (work for the police for people that are intersted *not a cop*, and so i wouldnt class myself as an idiot lol), got a degree, nice car (imo offcourse), only 21, i do stay with my parents right enough but i fink thats a big factor thats got me where I am today. and I wouldn't say im toooo ugly lol (hopefully). You know, not having a girlfriend for the past few years in my life has really made be do okay for myself, or well for myself. I look back and realise that all my mates were all getting involved in relationships, having children, having heartbreaks. And I was myself but i was going for job interviews, studying at college and uni, and just doing my hobbies of working on my car and making websites and stuff. I really think what I have done, and what they have done I have been placed in a much better position because I never thought about relationships during those times, when others did. But now that I have got my job, my degree, my car...when a relationship does come along, i will be complete to be honest (if it works out haha lol).
Need to stay positive which will hopefully lead to being more confident.
I'm glad you're working on the arms, baz. A good set of shoulders is crucial to sexiness.
My husband was on the rowing team in college. I recommend it.
if that's how you feel, women are the least of your concerns. self-destructive reflections like that rarely stay within the confines of your romantic life, often eclipsing work, family and your own potential as an individual.
you have to ask the fundamental question: so what?
many people are unaware of this, but those of us living in the west are essentially sitting on a lottery ticket. there are much more individuals who yearn for a life where their largest grievance was picking up women. there are 7 year old Afghan children who are the breadwinners of their family, often supporting their mother and several younger siblings. there are children in parts of Algeria (my country of origin) who tie a rope around their stomaches to ease the pain resulting from hunger.
big deal if a girl doesn't like you. it's just a girl. it's not like she's in anyway better than you or superior. she's not. you should see her rejection not as your loss but her's. that way, it won't matter as much.
i have a colleague who routinely gets rejected by women. 7-8 times a day! he laughs it off, often telling me that the rejections are actually quite humorous. he loves the glib excuses or weird faces a girl makes, and it doesn't affect him the slightest.
live life like that. you'll be much happier in the end.
you know what, iv lived my life always thinking and saying to myself im not good enough for her. I need to try change my ways and always say to myself is she good enough for me. I am trying my hardest to think this way now.
I have added two paragraphs to my book about that. I was out in town latnight. I actually had a good night was quite happy even though I never chatted to any girls or anything.
A misogynist hates women boredgeorge... and just about every other post you have on here belittles women in some way. So... if you don't want the label then stop fitting the definition. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by BoredGeorge [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
"Manly" and "badass" you say? How's that technique working out for you? Which do you think he should listen to? Advice from a man who isn't a success in the dating field because he won't let go of his loathing of women... or from women who are willing to offer insight into what they are looking for in a man anyway?
He doesn't appear effiminate to me, in that I wouldn't mistaken him for a woman. Is he burley and drenched in testosterone? Well no... but then again, not all women can appreciate the 'caveman' look anyway. He appears to be an intellectual male and therein lies his power -- if he so chooses to develop it. Through this he could become the confident, powerful provider that women innately seek out in varying degrees. He could also be a reliable, intelligent companion which is also something women desire in men as well.
He has everything he needs to be a success if he just develops the resources he has.
Not drenched in testosterone being the key part. Thank you for admitting I am correct.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The reason I have trouble with girls is because I am shit I am not good looking and I have aspergers syndrome (diagnosed before it was cool) which has nothing at all to do with self loathing crap your talking about which you probably heard of oprah or doctor phil.
I will admit at one point in my life I did loathe women but it was only for a short time.
See, dude, grow some facial hair, hit the gym GET A GOOD JOB THAT PAYS then get a carQuote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
you need money for girls
the MINIMUM for 25 and above is 55k
over say 28 or 29 you need 75k
older than that it is good to have 80k
and thats a conservative estimate, a lot of girls will want more and they do care about what you earn.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoredGeorge [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So any man who isn't drenched in testosterone is effiminate... is that what you're alluding to? Then I guess by your own definition you are effiminate. See how that doesn't play out accurately? I doubt I would ever see you, or the majority of men as effiminate, since there is more to masculinity than just over-developed secondary sexual characteristics.
You have self-esteem issues... that's why you are not good with girls. Those are issues that have little to nothing to do with women --- it has more to do with you. When you say "the reason I have trouble with girls is because I am shit" then that would lead one to believe it does have "to do with self loathing crap" because an individual who doesn't like themselves would refer to themselves in a very negative way.
You still loathe women, that is why you spend so much of your time trying to belittle or one-up the women here... and quite possibly in real life too. Reflect over your actions and see if they actually agree with what you believe you are doing. I suspect there is an incongruity between the two. ;)
BoredGeorge I could care less about the gender wars... they always end in a draw. Equal advantages and equal disadvantages. Equal pain on both sides from the harsh realities of the dating game. How long do you want to keep a pointless struggle going? How many years do you want to sacrifice?
Wouldn't it be more beneficial to yourself if you'd just accept that there are bad people in every category you can think of and if you want to find happiness in this world, you will have to focus on the good in life -- starting with the good qualities in yourself.
Well if one of them decided to be my girlfriend that wouldn't happen now would it ?Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You just skimmed to the end of what I wrote... didn't ya george? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by BoredGeorge [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
In life, you usually get what you send out. And you send out a lot of negativity... so it's no wonder that's what you get in return.
money might be considered an issue when it is coming to settling down with someone in marriage. as for now with you it isn't. just keep working out, exercising and overall, feel good about yourself and gain that confidence. shit, getting rejected is going to happen sometime or another but look at it as their loss.
You need to gain more confidence in yourself, like everyone else is saying. And there is no such thing as too short, because I can guarantee that there will be a woman shorter then you.
yup ur rite.........sum ppl stay single bcoz they love a person secretly and did not tell them their feelings.....they prefer loving them secretly.....
I hate to be the one to say this, but you may want to invest in a spell check/editor for that "book" of yours. I may have just had a grammar-related aneurysm.
Lots of different ways to get confidence my personal way is just to think "**** it" all the time, but i know a few people shy as they come and i told them to get naked and run trough a city and it took a while but eventually one night they did it and honestly since then they are the most confident people you could meet.
Im not saying do exactly that but just get out there and go for it, never hold back.
If you do run naked... make sure it's a warm night. ;)
haha always
You look like one of my friends and he is getting married with a really gorgeous girl. I don't know what is up with your girl situation. Maybe it is the way you present yourself.
working on the confidence issue right now. been at the gym at least 3 times a week for nearly 2 months. its good because when in the gym i dont seem to think about negative stuff. the ardrenaline is just running through you that you dont give a crap about anything. so im gonna keep doing that.
Well i havent finished the book, i will go over it sometime to tidy it up a bit grammer wise.
only-virgins, i wish that was me getting married. I tell you thats my only dream in life, fall in love and marry her. If only I could meet her first.
okay, i had a few looks from girls tonight, alot of it is when in the car to be honest. Why can't i seem to do anything about it? I am a bloody idiot!!
didn't you know, baz has proof readers and editors to do that for him....Quote:
Originally Posted by Linli [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by bazM [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Because you act as though every attempt should be perfection. You're going hunting without much practice. Just because you point a gun at a deer doesn't mean you'll hit it -- you're going to need practice, training, and tons of opportunities to mess up.
Instead of putting so much pressure on EVERY encounter you have with women, just think to yourself that this is a 'practice' round. Work on trying new techniques or perfecting others. So what if you don't take a girl home with you? Did you learn what does and doesn't work? If so... then the time was well spent -- you're learning. ;)
Dalia :)...put it sooo right, no more pressure baz, treat this like research for your book, what works, what doesn't...no more pressure...keep positive!