Guys are indoctrinated by their parents early in life: YOU DON"T HIT GIRLS! Don't know that girls are taught the same lesson about guys. Yeh, it goes back hundreds of years, and will probably continue for another few hundred.
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Guys are indoctrinated by their parents early in life: YOU DON"T HIT GIRLS! Don't know that girls are taught the same lesson about guys. Yeh, it goes back hundreds of years, and will probably continue for another few hundred.
Well I've had that stance for a long time and I've never been hit by a woman. One girlfriend threw her shoe at me once, that's about as violent as its gotten.Quote:
Originally Posted by Incognito [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm reasonably certain that unless she's a bodybuilder I can hold a woman back. I can escape her. I can pin her.
Unless she comes at me with a weapon, I see absolutely no reason to exchange blows with a woman.
I always walk away from physical violence whenever possible, or look for a verbal way to get away from it. Last course of action is to get physical and I don't differentiate whether the aggressor is male or female.
However, I have shoved a girl after she shoved me ( in order to make a point - not to think soft violence was permissable). Then I broke up with her a little bit later when she escalated with the shoving and progressed to the projectile ceramics, household goods, and attempted punches to the head while backing me up into a corner (I restrained, shoved her off, and left)
She wanted me to hit her, in hindsight.
Had she picked up a knife in any of that, she would have left.. this mortal coil.
All of the things I was about to say in response to this thread were just interrupted by thoughts of Shakespeare wearing a wife beater. Good job.Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
They are in MY house... as a matter of practicality, I tell my daughter NEVER to hit boys, because you never know which one is going to hit back, and she's a wimp.Quote:
Originally Posted by Olderandwiser49 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I get to spank my gf plenty in bed. If she ever felt like I deserved a good smacking for something I said or did, I'd let her. Of course, later on she's going to get more spankings anyway ;)
To sleep, perchance to dream, ay there's the rub. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by SirWagginston [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That's kinda funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm not trying to pick you out of the crowd Gigabitch because I really respect you, but you're still asking more questions and not stating why you think it would be alright for a woman to hit a man without expecting retaliation. To simply say to not hang around people who would hit you is dodging the question.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I also respect your comments lahnnabell, but you're doing the same thing. Yes some people are physically abusive because they expect no consequences. Anyway, I don't care what the situation is.....why do you feel that a woman doesn't deserve equal treatment if she physically harms someone? The highlighted portion has appeared in many of your posts also, and while I can understand you stance because of your past experiences, it also tells me that you are bit bias. I'll also flat out tell you that you're wrong about me not being "emotionally aware of myself or how I come off to people". That is an assumption of yours, and you're wrong. I am simply asking a question that is seemingly being dodged at every turn while defended.Quote:
Originally Posted by lahnnabell [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Give me a situation in which some sort of physical abuse is directly related to a person that does not expect consequences. Where no emotion whatsoever is involved. Please.
And I have already answered your other question. It is NOT okay for a woman to hit a man. EVER. I don't understand whose posts you've been reading. I do not think it is okay. No person deserves equal treatment. I think that whether you are a man or a woman is irrelevant. NO HUMAN should ever hit another UNLESS you feel that you are in extreme physical harm and need to defend yourself from being severely hurt or killed.
Thank you for making a specific statement that was aimed at my specific question. There was no need to get upset. It just seemed that you always made a blanket statement about it being wrong for anyone to physically harm someone without addressing exactly what I had a question about. Perhaps I missed a post in which you did, but I'm only human. Again, thank you clearly stating your position. It would seem that there aren't many women who believe in the lopsided notion as I originally thought (at least here anyway). The next time I run into a woman who does, I suppose I'll just have to debate with her specifically.
Its not. And if he doesn't hit her back, her luck and his credit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Incognito [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This is an old, old topic we've discussed before. My personal opinion is that, generally, males are more emotionally controlled than women. It gets many women's backs up when I post this, but I think its true. As for reasons, I believe its a combination of biology and conditioning: men are more testosterone driven. When there is a confrontation b/t males that escalates to physical violence, then historically someone ends up dead. So males learn not to 'lose it' unless they are prepared to go all the way. Or they are stupid, but those are selected out by the same mechanism. Still, testosterone builds up which is the reason for traditional 'male-bonding' activities where they beat on each other.
Women know this, and take advantage of it in a number of ways. Including 'testing' males and pitting them against each other for sexual favour. The ideal male mate is one that is intelligent (i.e. can control oneself appropriately for a situation) and can kill to protect/feed the family when necessary.
Women are more emotionally driven, which has definite biological advantages esp as regards childrearing, but if they were also larger and stronger than men (which means their testosterone levels would be higher), this would be a bad combination and is selected against. Can't have women getting angry and killing their own children, or others.
I think that this double standard is re-enforced culturally. In pop culture, when a woman hits a man, often it's treated like a joke. Did you ever see those pictures of Tiger Woods photoshopped so that it looked like he had a black eye and a golf club lodged into his head? If it were the other way around and Tiger were a female who had cheated on her male husband, that joke would have appalled more people, IMO.
I think these jokes exist because the idea of a woman being able to physically hurt a man challenges the male notion of being stronger and more dominant. Anything that challenges this could make a man seem like less of a man. So you have women (and men) taking violence against men lightly, mostly because culturally, they've been given the green light to.
I think it's misleading to frame this debate as one about women's equality, when the alpha male stereotype does more to feed this double standard than a woman's need to feel equal does.
I'm not justifying anyone's stance on this, just stating why I think it exists.
I would never touch a woman myself no matter how much angry she made me, im too much of a relax person.
But thinks like this happen, there are even man that are hit by woman ocasionaly like there are woman.
violence in a relationship is bad, but not everyone has the same temper , so if a man hits back after a woman hits him then he should not be judged because it was done by instinct mostly and anger.
So what if woman are none to be weaker? if i know im weaker then someone, then i dont go on and hit him if im gonna get my ass beaten anyway.
Personaly, i never touched a woman, and i will avoid it at the cost of everything, but once i get hit , my adrenaline is hard to controll and im sure if a woman would hit me and hurt me, i would probably beat the hell out of her. but if she was weak and didnt hurt me, i would probably lough and get away so i dont get hit again.
but thats just me, and my opinion, in no way i think i doo good. just found the topic intresting and wanted to comment :)
You can't control your adrenaline, but you can learn to control the emotional mechanism in your brain that outputs it.
I've felt compelled to actively investigate my environmental and inherit mores since childhood regarding gender... amongst numerous other topics.Quote:
Originally Posted by SirWagginston [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I came to the conclusion that I didn't recognize a valid difference as both genders have souls...
... and souls... hormones and body mass aside, are what makes us human.
So when some soul attempts to maim or destroy another soul, physically or mentally, a good soul should do everything in their power to completely remove themselves from that situation.
Obviously, it's not always the easiest to do... particularly in soft assaults.
BUT... in a situation where no retreat is possible and no passive stone is left unturned... a good soul has the right, duty in fact, to pick up one of those turned stones and bash the living bejeebus out of the other soul with whatever minimal intensity is required in order to restore safety and continue existence, physically or mentally (often both)
Watching Animal Planet/National Geographic/Discovery was the clincher to this belief... although personal experiences forged the main thrust of it.
Walk softly and carry a big stick... who originally coined that?
+1Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That's a very aikido-like philosophy, Doc. :D
Oh Jesus, take that shit back to the dojo.
I already picture Teddy Roosevelt wearing a wife beater.Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We had to teach my sister the same thing. It was kind of sad, though. She's a tough cookie, and when she was a wee thing on the playground, and roughly equal in strength to the boys, she went around kicking everyone's butts. Now she's a proper girl and she knows not to hit boys because if any boys hit her they'll have to be dismantled piece by piece and I'll probably go to prison for that. She also knows not to do drugs for much the same reason.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The difference between saying people shouldn't f*** with you, and showing that people shouldn't f*** with you depends on how you handle a situation in which people are trying to f*** with you. There are plenty of people who talk it, but then let themselves be walked over because they don't know how to be effectively assertive. It takes patience and confidence, and your primary goal can't simply be to one-up the person because that is just petty.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I only tell people they shouldn't mess with me if I feel threatened, or someone I love feels threatened. I mentioned in a previous response an incident involving my sister and some guy who shouted at her disrespectfully. I was walking behind them, so I'm sure he assumed I wasn't with them. Lucky for him I heard his remark and not my ex-marine brother-in-law.
I think it's funny when short statured gals try to physically threaten those who tower above them.
It's like watching a chihuahua growl at a great dane.
This brings back a memory of High School. There was this guy who was bullying pretty much everyone. He was at least 6 feet, probably a little taller..Anyways, one time he started picking on this short guy and started pushing him around..I was in class watching from the window..All of a sudden the short guy jumps in the air and knocks him with a good kick to the face..He just dropped and got a few more kicks in the face...The moment was priceless! Anyways, u never know what someone is capable of so be careful who you mess with.Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Durian [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
A tick can kill you if you don't tuck your pant legs into your socks...
Looks like the tick won in that case.
my high school boyfriend hit me one time. he ran off and was far, far away from me before i snapped out of it. lol, lucky bastard.