My Boyfriend CUT UP my Thighs...(long)

I went to high school with a jackass who put cigarettes out on his gf's arms. I felt sorry for the poor girl; she never had the courage to stand up for herself. Years later... (very recently, actually) she broke up with him after years of abuse. You sound like a naive teenage girl and you need to stick up for yourself. Since he already forced himself on you and overpowered you, all you can do is get someone else involved. The best thing to do is to tell your parents so they can straighten this mess out. Clearly they have not been there to teach you what a healthy relationship is and what you should expect from relationships and now's their last chance I guess. You should really avoid your 'boyfriend' from now on, which is self explanatory. He has already stepped way over the boundary and you really don't want to let him go any further, which could include rape or put your life in grave danger. It's not your job to diagnose him - let a psychiatrist do that. I'm pretty sure you got the message now, after 3 pages of criticism from other members. I'd sure hate to see you humiliating yourself on Jerry Springer or Steve Wilkos.

“I'm 16, he's 17.”

Then you should learn now and leave him . . .don’t make a habit of this

“He stuck me with tacks and what he did with the knife was cutting...not stabbing. I just think saying he stabbed me makes it sound worse than it was, because he didn't. Stabbing just doesn't sound like the right word to use for tacks...
I think he cut so shallow because he was trying NOT to hurt me significantly. That's the way I see it.”

Well then you’re blind . . . He did something without your consent and he harmed your body.

“He's had plenty of isolated opportunities to kill or maim me if he ever wanted to.”
“his isn't the first time he's done something of a non-consensual nature to me, but this is like the "final straw””

Then you should make this the final straw . . .don’t put up with this! . . . it's a bad sign and it can only get worse

@ IncognitoSir:

I'm not going through any serious issues with him, just "family problems" I guess I'd call it. For example, before the incident with my BF, we'd had a nit-picky argument at home over who had broken the computer monitor (which was NOT me). It's small, but things like that happening 5-10 times per day make for pretty frustrating build-up. He's always accusing me of things. Stupid things.

Anyway, that really isn't a big deal.

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I'm pretty sure you got the message now, after 3 pages of criticism from other members. I'd sure hate to see you humiliating yourself on Jerry Springer or Steve Wilkos.

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The part about Jerry Springer/Wilkos made me giggle...don't worry about that one ;)

Yes, I do get the message most people have given me here + elsewhere...Besides the obvious advice (breaking up with him/getting the cops involved), I have gotten some insight on whether I may help him or how we can at least try to make this work even if I can't change that about him, thanks to a certain few and greatly appreciated members. Thank you :) You know who you are.

As you've all figured out if you've been reading, I'm very forgiving towards him. I can work to decrease that leniency, but I can't cut him off immediately or completely.

I *HATE* to make a Twilight reference...but I'd end up more pathetic than Bella after Edward temporarily left her. I don't want to make him think I dislike him so that he will leave me, and I don't know if I want to leave him yet for sure...that's just the way it is in my head right now.

That may change, though. Likely. I don't know.

Well, you may giggle, but I've seen young girls on Steve Wilkos going through the same exact physical/sexual abuse situation that you're in, so the joke is really on you.

Don't get too enthusiastic about getting the cops involved - this is something you should have done immediately, and I think now it will be harder to prove he did it and trying to get him in a legal bind could just be a waste of your time. You really need to tell your parents, though. Don't force us to have your Internet provider contact your parents about your post! We can't have minors coming on here posting stories like this and not have any obligation to do something about it.

And you will have to cut him off completely and immediately, for your own good. Furthermore, forgiving someone means you understand their intentions, which you don't. You can't change him, either, honey. Look on the bright side, though, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and most of them sure as hell would treat you better than this guy.

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Originally Posted by Analeigh008 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

^That is exactly what I said in my original post, and what I said to you. High up on the inside of the thigh is close to my vagina. Quit lying on me - I didn't say it occured in my private area. THIS is what I said in my reply to you:

In both statements, I emphasized that he stuck me HIGH UP ON THE INSIDE OF MY THIGH. If you've ever seen a vagina before, you would know that the areas are pretty close

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the area you are talking about is small, which contradicts your story about him sticking you with multiple tacks and making long cuts. How is it that a thong covers up a girl's private parts yet it would be considered "porn" if you took a picture of your thigh? I highly doubt all the puncture marks and long gashes can be covered up by a thong. Also, you can put a towel over your vulva or take a pic of the lower half of your injuries to preserve modesty

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Originally Posted by doppelgaenger [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, you may giggle, but I've seen young girls on Steve Wilkos going through the same exact physical/sexual abuse situation that you're in, so the joke is really on you.

Don't get too enthusiastic about getting the cops involved - this is something you should have done immediately, and I think now it will be harder to prove he did it and trying to get him in a legal bind could just be a waste of your time. You really need to tell your parents, though. Don't force us to have your Internet provider contact your parents about your post! We can't have minors coming on here posting stories like this and not have any obligation to do something about it.

And you will have to cut him off completely and immediately, for your own good. Furthermore, forgiving someone means you understand their intentions, which you don't. You can't change him, either, honey. Look on the bright side, though, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and most of them sure as hell would treat you better than this guy.

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it would never be hard to prove, she won't have to prove anything. basically she makes an innocent face goes down to the police station and blames her love and deep feelings for him for taking this long to file a restraining order or press charges.

BUT...if this story is actually true....then it seems to me that she actually didn't mind it that much. cuz if that was me, there would be screaming and yelling and probably gun shots fired right on the spot.

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Originally Posted by Analeigh008 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

@ IncognitoSir:

I'm not going through any serious issues with him, just "family problems" I guess I'd call it. For example, before the incident with my BF, we'd had a nit-picky argument at home over who had broken the computer monitor (which was NOT me). It's small, but things like that happening 5-10 times per day make for pretty frustrating build-up. He's always accusing me of things. Stupid things.

Anyway, that really isn't a big deal.

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Well I have to question your judgement about what's serious and what isn't.....given your current situation. What I cant understand is what has happened to you that is allowing you to look at this situation in such a optimistic light. I remember my ex gf telling me about the effects of trauma after such an ordeal. You really shouldn't be so calm and understanding of your boyfriends actions. I don't think anyone here can actually help you though, and I still can't understand what advice you hoped to receive from an online loveforum. You need to understand that this is a collection of people who look at the situation from an realistic and unbiased (usually) point of view. I'm sure you see this as several shades of grey, red, green but for the most part these things are very "black and white". Meaning easily solved. It's not as complicated as you'd like to think it is. You're only 16 and he's 17. You may THINK you know, but trust me, you have no idea of what you want and you have no idea of what "love" means. This, this is NOT love. This is simply a guy taking advantage of a confused young lady. Now I don't mean to bash you, but the help you really need will not be found here. This requires the work of a professional, and you do need to inform your parents. You and I both know why you're not telling them. It's because they'll do the right thing, which is separate you from him..... permanently, turn him in to the cops, and send you to get evaluated by a doctor. You both need some serious help, I just hope you get some before he "loves" you again or any other girl for that matter.

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Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

it would never be hard to prove, she won't have to prove anything. basically she makes an innocent face goes down to the police station and blames her love and deep feelings for him for taking this long to file a restraining order or press charges.

BUT...if this story is actually true....then it seems to me that she actually didn't mind it that much. cuz if that was me, there would be screaming and yelling and probably gun shots fired right on the spot.

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No kidding, what a little prick (no pun intended)

@ Spoonandfork,

You're thinking vertical cuts down the skin; my cuts are horizontal across the skin. Since my thigh is bigger than my wrist, of course they would be longer. Sorry, I never clarified that, my fault. Most of the smaller sores (where the tacks were) are in that small area, though.

If I wore a thong, it wouldn't cover them up, you're right. But posting a picture of myself with my legs open (where the scars are) in a thong - or with a towel, whichever you prefer - is not my idea of "modesty"...it's not porn, but it isn't modest.

I simply cannot fathom why it's so difficult for you to grasp that I don't want to post a gross picture of myself in a thong, with scars, just for you. Or for this thread. Posting those kinds of pictures of yourself...they don't just go away. It's the internet. Words are words, but a picture is a picture. Apparently you know that they weigh differently, as you will not believe my words, but you'll believe a picture.

I'm done with this conversation. Like I said, you show everyone YOUR bloody picture and then maybe we'll deal - I can't think of a fairer option. You haven't helped so far, I don't think you will later. If I did post, what for? I've gotten a bunch of people flogging me with redundancy and a few helpful bits of advice. I don't know what you have to offer me that's worth it anyhow. Even if you had just asked for a picture of my face or my damned toenail, I wouldn't take it. Much less my inner thigh. It doesn't even sound right. I don't put pictures of myself all over the internet. If you do, have your fun - that's YOU.

And @ doppelgaenger...

Wilkos/Springer always came across as nonsense to me, which is why it evokes giggles. I've only seen it a few times...All I've seen are fat current or former prostitutes, sexually confused people, and KKK members. And how could I forget the dysfunctional families?...anyway, it's all theatrics. It's a TV show...I'm sorry, but they pick the most outrageous people for ratings. That's like me watching Criminal Minds or something on television dealing with a select group of deranged people, and applying that to someone in real life. If it's on TV and it's not the news, educational, or a professional documentary, I'm not taking it to heart.
I've honestly never heard anyone talk about Springer except in a joke. Not saying those people don't exist, but those people aren't us. We don't fight in front of cameras or even people we know...and I don't flash my boobs to audiences of cheering strangers...

Bleh...that one's already taken care of for you (parents part). I'm probably going to have to say something, as I don't want these to get infected and turn into a real problem and get sick. We lack neosporin in this house (%*#$!). I've been thinking about how to tell them all day without upsetting them, but I know better than to ask anyone how to go about doing that...

I'm trying to go one problem at a time - parent/teacher conference first (school issues). I can't just ask for bandages and neosporin, they'll want to know why I need it. F*** my life...so, yes, I don't have a choice.

I still insist on not ruining his life over this, though. My scars will heal. Going to jail would impact him a LOT more.
And what if he gets raped in prison? O.O
Hey, it happens.

@Sonrisa ...
I could understand why some people would have responded that way. I just didn't. Like I said, it was like a frozen feeling. I realize it was a step backward for me to forgive him so easily (that little scene in the bathroom). Which is my own problem - I don't think I can do without him. Speaking realistically, I probably can, but it's a long haul to change how you feel, especially if the feelings are strong and have been drawn out over a period of years spent with his friendship and then about half a year of being his girlfriend.

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Originally Posted by Analeigh008 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wilkos/Springer always came across as nonsense to me, which is why it evokes giggles. I've only seen it a few times...All I've seen are fat current or former prostitutes, sexually confused people, and KKK members. And how could I forget the dysfunctional families?...anyway, it's all theatrics. It's a TV show...I'm sorry, but they pick the most outrageous people for ratings. That's like me watching Criminal Minds or something on television dealing with a select group of deranged people, and applying that to someone in real life. If it's on TV and it's not the news, educational, or a professional documentary, I'm not taking it to heart.
I've honestly never heard anyone talk about Springer except in a joke. Not saying those people don't exist, but those people aren't us. We don't fight in front of cameras or even people we know...and I don't flash my boobs to audiences of cheering strangers...

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lol, um, did it ever occur to you that your story is so ridiculous, so outrageous, that this is something I among others would expect to see on Jerry Springer? People here think you're just trolling around trying to stir up some commotion. This story makes teenage prostitutes seem like diligent little schoolgirls. No offense, it's just that ****ed up, especially the part about you being incapable (according to you) of doing something about it.

Spoonandfork...

Your suspicions are unfounded. I've answered every question you've thrown at me. Throw me another, I'll answer it as best as I can. The one thing I wouldn't do was post a picture.

I've forgotten the website, but I'll find it - it was DV victims' discussion/support forum. I didn't post there because I don't know if my issue is considered "domestic" because we're not married or family. But the stories on there weren't exactly bright.

NO ONE posted pictures (that I saw). No one even asked for pictures as "proof". I'm sure not everyone uses their real name. Do you think they have a "Show off your wounds" picture thread up???

Go over there and call them liars once I get the URL for you, clever one. Go tell them their stories are fictional. See how well received you are in that environment. I have a gut feeling you won't, though. Find any abuse forum - spousal (male OR female), sexual, emotional, whatever - and try it. I'll even seek out a whole list for you if you will, just so I can watch :D

I don't feel obligated to show you anything. I offered you a deal, you've apparently rejected it, and that's it. A thigh for a thigh, a scar for a scar :) You ain't Buddha, pal.

Yeah, don't post your pictures here, because god forbid, your bf might be a member here and he might save them to his desktop and jerk off to them.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline as soon as possible. Here's their number: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

It doesn't matter that you don't live with him, they can help you. If you don't believe me, then just call them and ask them. If you're not the type of person they help, no harm no foul. Just call. Do it now.

When did I say I was incapable of doing something about it?...what is "it" referring to? What happened or WHY it happened?...Sorry, just need clarification.

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Originally Posted by Analeigh008 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Spoonandfork...

Your suspicions are unfounded. I've answered every question you've thrown at me. Throw me another, I'll answer it as best as I can. The one thing I wouldn't do was post a picture.

I've forgotten the website, but I'll find it - it was DV victims' discussion/support forum. I didn't post there because I don't know if my issue is considered "domestic" because we're not married or family. But the stories on there weren't exactly bright.

NO ONE posted pictures (that I saw). No one even asked for pictures as "proof". I'm sure not everyone uses their real name. Do you think they have a "Show off your wounds" picture thread up???

Go over there and call them liars once I get the URL for you, clever one. Go tell them their stories are fictional. See how well received you are in that environment. I have a gut feeling you won't, though. Find any abuse forum - spousal (male OR female), sexual, emotional, whatever - and try it. I'll even seek out a whole list for you if you will, just so I can watch :D

I don't feel obligated to show you anything. I offered you a deal, you've apparently rejected it, and that's it. A thigh for a thigh, a scar for a scar :) You ain't Buddha, pal.

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actually i do remember some people posting pictures of their hurt body part.

To the OP, sorry you had the misfortunte of reading those gullible posts by Spooning Dork. He has been infracted for his comments and offending posts deleted. He is one infraction away from his second temporary ban so if he posts anything else even remotely objectionable please report his post and I will take care of the rest.

I've covered why I didn't post in DV. I posted here because this is a love forum and I do love him. I didn't come to 'talk' about it, although I've had to explain things to people...I came for specific advice. Is this not the "Advice" subcategory of the forum? Have I been posting this in the wrong place the whole time? lol back at you.

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actually i do remember some people posting pictures of their hurt body part.

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Did you ridicule anyone who did NOT post a picture? Did you accuse them of lying? Just curious. The key word here is SOME.

Anyway, I did re-find one of the URLs I looked over a while ago:

[url]http://www.psychforums.com/domestic-abuse/[/url] > Domestic Violence

Now go insist that pictures be mandatory. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Spoonandfork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

how lovely of you to insult me, Miss Anya, after you infract me for changing another member's username. What happened to mods exemplifying the very rules they enforce?

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wait. whose user name was changed?

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Originally Posted by Spoonandfork [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I was infracted for calling PP "Petite Papsmillion." The reason cited was "inappropriate language" yet it's ok for a mod to call me "Spooning Dork"

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yeah, I must agree with you here. Misha, come on, you're supposed to be an example to us all.

Hm. Do you have a screenshot of the "Petite Papsmillion" event to show us?...It's just so UNBELIEVABLE.

Although that can never equal shredded skin.

^Sorry, Spoonandfork, that was petty. :( Now I feel bad.

Wow, lol, that was a while ago. I guess it's that time of the month (no pun intended) I mean for handing out infractions and such.

"I remember my ex gf telling me about the effects of trauma after such an ordeal. You really shouldn't be so calm and understanding of your boyfriends actions."

I don't know if I'm traumatized. I think that's a bit over-dramatic. Hurt and worried, yes, but I'm not having nervous breakdowns or anything serious. I'm just wondering, why is it that everyone thinks it's so terrible that I'm trying to understand and forgive, rather than flying off the handle at someone I've loved for a while, and adored for even longer?...

"I'm sure you see this as several shades of grey, red, green but for the most part these things are very "black and white". Meaning easily solved. It's not as complicated as you'd like to think it is. You're only 16 and he's 17. You may THINK you know, but trust me, you have no idea of what you want and you have no idea of what "love" means. This, this is NOT love. This is simply a guy taking advantage of a confused young lady."

You're right...I do see several shades because he isn't just black and white, so how can his actions be? He is many "colors", and so am I. If solving these moral issues was so easy, obvious and clear, then every religion and culture on Earth would approach it the same. But they don't. Some things are taboo in our culture but not in other cultures, and vice versa. The only universal thing I can think of is "thou shall not kill"...Maybe stealing is another, but I'm not sure. if you know otherwise, please enlighten me, I'd find it fascinating.

You're right again - I really don't know what I want or what love is, but I'd like to find out. And although we have low points (VERY low points), I want to make SURE he isn't what I want before I let him go. And I don't see how he could be taking advantage of me...you make it sound like I'm a little kid compared to him...it's only a one-year age difference.


"Now I don't mean to bash you, but the help you really need will not be found here. This requires the work of a professional, and you do need to inform your parents. You and I both know why you're not telling them. It's because they'll do the right thing, which is separate you from him..... permanently, turn him in to the cops, and send you to get evaluated by a doctor. You both need some serious help, I just hope you get some before he "loves" you again or any other girl for that matter."

I'm going to have to talk to my parents about this sooner or later anyway because I don't have the proper supplies to care for the scars until they heal up in the house...I'll have to figure that one out...I just don't want anything bad to happen to him.

But thank you a lot. This entire time, until that post, I really hadn't realized I don't know exactly what love is. But I know sometimes he makes me feel something close, if that's not it.

Imagine what your next bf will think of those lovely scars.

Yeah...I hadn't thought about that either. I'm so occupied with him I haven't thought about future boyfriends or husbands.

I guess if they don't heal completely over time (I probably won't be that lucky - scars usually leave marks on my skin), I'll have to explain them...

What about his next helpless victim?

That all depends. On whether he seeks help or just doesn't do it again or something. Like I said, this is the first time he's done anything this extreme. I feared he may do it again or escalate - of course, because if he did and I'm still with him, he'll likely try it out on me again.

I tried making a point of at least trying to get him help being the better option before prison earlier but no one understood...they thought I was just being nuts for caring about him being helped still.

But that depends if he'll even do it. IDK. I may have to resort to an ultimatum.

eh you can't help him. you're young. work on helping yourself. don't stay caught up with guys like this. not quite sure what makes you inclined to put up with it.

the next girl doesn't need help either. he'll try it with her and she'll either leave him right away or she'll stay and put up with it. it's not under your control.

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Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

To the OP, sorry you had the misfortunte of reading those gullible posts by Spooning Dork. He has been infracted for his comments and offending posts deleted. He is one infraction away from his second temporary ban so if he posts anything else even remotely objectionable please report his post and I will take care of the rest.

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His posts aren't really much different from mine on this thread and I didn't get anything. I think at one point all the mods were out after Neo from what I remember. Kind of funny.

OK, since there's been a few pages since I gave my last comment, I'll go through them bit by bit and say what I think. My general opinion comes later, not per remark.

Analeigh, you say you can tolerate some pain.. but this is not how it works. You're not some puppet he plays out his desires on. IF this would ever work between you two, it's got to be more than you tolerating. You have to LIKE it. Or else it will start to feel like abuse anyway. See, I have sex sometimes with men that hurt me a little. Not even always because they get off on it, but because they know I like it. But I do like it.. I don't just tolerate it. I liked having my tattoo done, I like the feeling of getting pierced. I like a little pain. You, it seems to me, don't. So this wouldn't work for you. Plus, you're awful young to start with these things. Starting with this could color your idea and experience of sex forever.. watch out for that.

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Before, he never did anything this serious. Just little things like trying to tell me what to wear, who to befriend, etc. Just being bossy. Most of the time I give in to this to keep the peace, I don't like arguing with him. The non-consensual things he's done weren't terrible either, just annoying. For example, being "all over" me after I tell him I don't feel well.

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Now this gives more insight into his personality. If it's like this now already, it's not getting better. It is only to get worse. He's controlling in every aspect of his personality, not just the bedroom. Please don't just give in to these things. Seriously, a guy telling you what to wear etc, is ridiculous. Of course he can say that he likes those certain clothes best on you, but he is to accept it if you decide to dress differently. You are your own person, NOT his puppet. And honestly, no is no, as cliche as that sounds. If he's all over you, and you're not feeling well and don't want it, it's not much better than rape, and could lead to rape!!

Oh and for a funny note, I don't get your Twilight reference. I have never watched or read Twilight, how much I adore vampires, this is vampires-light. Not enough scary, blood or sex for my tastes. Plus, vampires that sparkle? Haha. ;)

About things not beign black and white, I tend to agree, at first. Which is why I commented the way I did last time. But honestly, he hovers more to the black now for me, as in not only treating you bad that one time, but more times. Oh and compared to him, you do seem a little kid. Not because of the age, but because of the fact that say yourself that you have given in to him in many little things over the time.. everytime you do such a thing, it makes him that much stronger than you, have that much more power over you.

So, last of the posts read.

Please, sweety.. talk to him as much as you want to, I forgot to reply to the thing you said about him not wanting to talk about it today.. I'm sorry but he has no right to say that. He thinks he can hurt you like that, he needs to talk about it when YOU want to. Not when it is convenient to him. Say that, stand up for yourself. The least you deserve is an explanation! And I can't believe you don't already know that. Tell him you want to talk about it, if he doesn't want that when you do, you'll never talk to him again. Might be a bit of a white lie, cause it seems hard for you to say goodbye to him, but trust me, he won't say he'll never speak to you again then.

Also, you're just 16. This is not the way you want to start up with relationships and love. It can scar you for life, and I mean this not literally, but mentally.. if you take this much crap from him now, when you grow up and are in your 20s or so, you'll be a doormat to every guy that comes along that thinks he can use you and beat you around. Why? Because you won't say no, and will make up excuses for whatever he does. "it's not him, must be something I did wrong." The excuse of every abused woman out there. It isn't that way. No is no, if you don't want it it should NOT happen.

I had the feeling there was much more to say, but I can just hope you take my advice to heart. The more I read the more I think you should not stay with him. It will get you hurt worse. Get him help, fine, stay friends, if possible, fine. Keep an eye on him, fine. Just don't be his gf anymore.

Also, tell your parents. Yes, difficult, but in the end, your parents can offer you help and support no one else can. Took me years to realize.. I'm 12 years older than you too. ;) I knnow what it is to feel you can't live without someone. My first ex, I lived and breathed him for 7 years. He dumped me, and now.. I am happy about that and ready to thank him for it, because he was bad for me. He'll never go anywhere, and I will. The first two years, I felt like I was dead on the inside though. But it gets better.

Take care.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

His posts aren't really much different from mine on this thread and I didn't get anything. I think at one point all the mods were out after Neo from what I remember. Kind of funny.

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You are not on parole like he was. He derailed one thread too many I'm afraid.

i'm seriously scared about where the next generation is heading after reading this thread. tacks, knives, choke holds, twilight...i am speechless.

Haha, what next generation? All except for Twilight (which is rubbish) those things have been around for ages. BDSM etc isn't new. ;)

Mockery

of

human

intelligence.

So you guys think all those women who get beat up by their husbands and keep going back are mockeries of human intelligence too? Can't say I'd take that, I'd be gone in a second, no one who really loves you does that. BUT I try to have some respect for people, even if I think they're not making a smart decision. What do you guys think you're contributing here? getting in cheap insults? Yay for you guys, cause you are the smart ones.

Just so you know, I was being sarcastic there.

Is it so hard to put in a constructive post, or just shut up? Sheesh.

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Originally Posted by Raven_Skye [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So you guys think all those women who get beat up by their husbands and keep going back are mockeries of human intelligence too? Can't say I'd take that, I'd be gone in a second, no one who really loves you does that. BUT I try to have some respect for people, even if I think they're not making a smart decision. What do you guys think you're contributing here? getting in cheap insults? Yay for you guys, cause you are the smart ones.

Just so you know, I was being sarcastic there.

Is it so hard to put in a constructive post, or just shut up? Sheesh.

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i'm sorry, but women who go back to their abusive husbands are unintelligent. they are willingly submitting themselves to abuse...where is the intelligence in that? these women are obviously so easily brainwashed and insecure of themselves that they'd rather play the victim, then actively take themselves out of the situation and do something productive with their lives.

BDSM is not the issue. the issue is that the OP and her boyfriend are still minors...if you are suggesting that it's normal for 16/17 year olds to be cutting each other as some form of sexual indulgence than there is something seriously wrong with you. what's next? kids doing this shit to each other in middle school? i'm sorry, but today's children are seriously misguided when it comes to sex (thanks to the media as well as retardedly conservative parents who refuse to allow their children to be educated on it honestly and openly), and it is a very very scary thing.

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Originally Posted by RdHrshyKss [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i'm sorry, but women who go back to their abusive husbands are unintelligent. they are willingly submitting themselves to abuse...where is the intelligence in that? these women are obviously so easily brainwashed and insecure of themselves that they'd rather play the victim, then actively take themselves out of the situation and do something productive with their lives.

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As simple as that sounds it isn't that simple. People with esteem issues often feel like they have one option, the person who is with them, even if that person is abusive. The fact that another person is willing to attach themselves to them (whether abusive or not) is often enough to make them stay put. These people tend to condition themselves into thinking that they need their abusive partner and that everything is their fault. It is not a simple matter of intelligence. I'll also say that some eventually do break free of their abusers and change their abuse perpetuating thinking, but not many. Unfortunately many end up seriously hurt or killed by abusers who knew that no matter what they did their "possession" would always be there and would take it.

To the OP: I didn't have the patience to wade through all of the pages. I read the first two and last one and a half. I personally believe that it is highly irrational to say that you still love him after this incident. It is not that I don't believe you, I just think that it is irrational thinking. Let me ask you this, if you saw on the news that a young woman's boyfriend shot her, but that it was only a flesh wound and she therefore decided simply get him help and that she still loved him what would you think about her? Most people would conclude that she either had deep personal issues or that she had mental issues.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned his other possessive and controlling patterns point to a person who is simply a possessive abuser, and he is priming you to be his, if you know what I mean. These type of people gradually abuse their victims first on a mental level and then move to a physical level. Unfortunately you put up with his mental possessiveness and abuse, so he took things to the next level. More unfortunate than that is the fact that you seem to be almost totally pressed into this "abuse victim mould" already. You are more concerned about him and the imaginary "next girl" than yourself, which is classic abuse victim talk. Please please PLEASE realize that his actions are not normal, that it is not within your power to "help" him, that it is not your responsibility to help him, that it is not your responsibility to help some imaginary "next girl", and that you are a victim of assault/torture who needs help.

As a side note I'd love to get a hold of your boyfriend and hack into his leg while I held him down. Maybe I'd castrate him too just to make sure that he never has a chance to reproduce as well.

You're both mental. Get sterilized.

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Originally Posted by Incognito [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As simple as that sounds it isn't that simple. People with esteem issues often feel like they have one option, the person who is with them, even if that person is abusive. The fact that another person is willing to attach themselves to them (whether abusive or not) is often enough to make them stay put. These people tend to condition themselves into thinking that they need their abusive partner and that everything is their fault. It is not a simple matter of intelligence. I'll also say that some eventually do break free of their abusers and change their abuse perpetuating thinking, but not many. Unfortunately many end up seriously hurt or killed by abusers who knew that no matter what they did their "possession" would always be there and would take it.

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you may be right, but i'd be really interested in seeing some kind of study done on this. my gut feeling, is that most of the women who tolerate this type of abuse are less intelligent than those who don't.