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I read that weddings and stuff like that are a bad thing to take an ex too. You wanna make the first meet up short and weddings are long drawn out and emotional.
I wasnt gonna go to this wedding with her anyway...this was planned out long before we split that she was going with her dad.
yeah i wouldnt take an ex to a wedding dude
yea i think im gonna go solo im sure that will only be on her mind the whole time anyway
maybe youll fina a pretty single girl there
I feel sorry for my friends.. I quit talking to most of them.. they are most likely so sick of this shit...
yeah ive done it to my friends AND family, this forum is my only avenue left and im sure ive spread u all thin too lol
no DH.. just keep posting.. as for me, at least I dont feel so alone.. before I found this site I just felt totally isolated.. sure, I could talk to my friends, but how much can they take? ya know?
Family and friends tired of my breakup stories too. I only have you guys on this forum. And beside coming here for advice I also like the fact that I can read other people stories and help if I can. I personally think this not a bad way to get over my breakup. I know I'm not the only person out there going through this. To be honest, I had never been in this kind of breakup before; so I was lost and confused. Family and friends, and some people on this forum gave me great advices. I was just a novice at this breakup crap that I didn't really follow them. Now I'm more confident about how to handle another breakup. I previous breakups were not really breakups we had to separate because I had to move.
Anyway, keep posting Dark. Everyone should just post and if anyone here can help great. This is a good way yo vent things out.
yeah im so afraid.. im planning this whole thing out what i want to say and what if she wont meet me, or what i want to say isnt expressed properly. i guess i shouldnt plan for anything but i want to give myself the best chance i have to get back with her.
plus i feel like my friends suck... i just wish i could just move somewhere and start over and not tell anyone where i am... change my name and everything
Yea when i tell the story to any of my friends they are just as confused as i am about the break up. They all just say keep doing what your doing and she will realize the grass isnt always greener on the other side.And that if i want her to miss me i need to give her space and just get over the whole break up be strong and fun and show her what she is missing.
But its is good being able to talk to people in the same situation..when i get home the first thing i do is check to see if anyone has said anything new and just reading how there are so many people in the same situation actually takes my mind off her even if its only for a couple minutes.
And i know im prob over analyzing this buttttt right before i started no contact i uploaded a bunch of pictures that were on my camera from the winter one was of her and it was cute so i liked it.....today she liked it too....who likes pictures of themselves she doesnt normally do that..I dont know im prob just looking into everything to much but i think she did it because she knew i would see it.
I agree...Ive do it to my friends and family too. Lastnight I talked to my really good friend and all he could tell me is I should cut my losses. I know hes looking out for me but I just cant give up that easy. If i see some hope im gonna take advantage of it. Im not walking away from something that could possbily be the best decision of my life.
thats how I feel which is why I am going to try and meet her in a couple weeks...Quote:
Originally Posted by ufas1987 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Good luck! I hope it will work out for you all. I really think mine it's done.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Anyway, I do believe if you don't try hard enough and the wise way, you won't get what you want. People always says forget, move on, it's done there's no way they can come back, wait for the next bus; well guess what? the key it's to accept first the breakup, move on, and anything it's possible. The chances might be slim, but it doesn't mean it won't work. Let people get their chances and the answers they want. Once they get them, it will be easier to move on or figure out something that will work for them.
Don't just show up and be like "Ooh! you not doing it right." How will that help? Talk them through. When you are in an emotional state it doesn't help when people talk like they never cared about their previous relationships or like they just don't care at at all. It takes time and patience to learn how to move on after a breakup. Anyway I don't want to waste more time on this so peace!
I think mine is too dude.. but its something I need to do... Id rather know then still have a doubt... Her putting on her fb "if only things were as we wanted and not as they are" really is messing with my brain... could mean anything.
Don't even bother thinking about it. Just like you said, it could mean anything. You can block her news feed on your facebook so you won't see what she posts. That's what I did with my ex. Whatever she does on her facebook, I don't see them unless I go on her page.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
the timing of it is odd.. a day after psychoboy leaves the note she posts that.. but you are right
Ok so wed will be three weeks since i started no contact i was thinking maybe i would call her friday and see if she wanted to get lunch on saturday..Do you guys think i should wait longer or does this sound ok
depends how you word it.. im waiting about 3 weeks myself so I think thats good. I would give her more than one day to decide.. maybe call her friday and ask if she will meet up with you mid week or something like that... cause what if u call on friday and she says shes busy saturday... then what.. give her a few days notice and then you can reschedule in the days in between.. u know what i mean?
I was thinking maybe i would call her thursday and just ask if she wants to go get some ice cream and catch up this weekend so then there are a couple days to pick from and she likes ice cream...and if she says something like i dont know i can just say its only ice cream whats the big deal.
im gonna try to meet mine at the park.. what do you plan on saying? when you say its just ice cream its no big deal you at taht point have to make it no big deal... you know what I mean?
Im just gonna show her that im fine without her and that i dont want to never see her. Im not going to bring up anything about the relationship unless she does but its more to just go out and have a good time. Just tell her i miss hanging out with her and just let her see me again and have make her deal with all the emotions that come along with it since we havent seen each other in like four weeks....Sound good?
im no good at this sorta thing man.. im in the same boat as you.. but that sounds good.. at least from those guides ive read thats the best way to handle it...i was gonna do the opposite and tell her how I felt... you may be onto something though lol.. im afraid of being put in the friendzone though u know? Im afraid if i dont say what i need to say ill miss my opportunity.. im gonna feel her out.. maybe you want to do that too.. go in with a gameplan...
Yea i dont want the friend zone i told her before i cant just be your friend. And we both are attractive people and i think just being around each other might get her wondering if it was the right decision. And i would tell her my feelings but i dont want her knowing how i have been hurting so much so of course ill tell her i miss spending time together and having her there as a friend because before we were best friends...but i wont give her a confession of how shitty i have felt without her unless she said that to me...hopefully i can just spark thing even on just a friendship level at first and make it fun to hang out together and see where it goes from there uhh hopefully it goes well for us both.
feel her out and just tell her how you feel, but you need to be confident
Just to let you guys know, I wrote a letter and left it with my ex today. It was loved filled but it asked her straight up....do you want to try to work it out or if not just tell me honestly that you dont see a future and you dont want to work it out. She shot me down. She sent it to me in a text so I know shes insecure about it. I have to tell you Im glad I didnt commit to the 1 month no contact. Its not worth sitting around stressing, wondering and worrying about it. I feel a great deal of weight lifted off my shoulders! my advise it to just do that...as them straight up! If they say no that tell them you understand...wish them well and leave them alone. Break all contact and learn from this. Move on and find someone that will stick with you! I was getting pissed at the negative ppl on this post too but its cuz they wernt telling me what i wanted to hear. There all right! Do this for yourself. Just ask your ex's...at least you can say you tried. I can honestly say I do still love her and that wont ever change in my life, but if she cant commit to it then its not worth it.
yeah I am.. but I am gonna wait.. ive waited this long
You go ahead and do it DH!! good on ya for sticking out this long. Just just be careful...if we are the same and if your feeling the same way I was feeling your gonna be in a world of hurt if you wait too long. Its best to just get it out and get it over with....its a big weight lifted. We all deserve better. The only people that dont deserve to be happy is a cheater!! Im not telling you what you need to do..your the only one that knows whats best for you but its really not worth waiting a month feeling depressed and hurt.
yeah my situation has gotten a little more complex, if i do it now ill have no shot.. unfortunately waiting is my only option.. but i found out she was being truthful in what she told me... sorry to hear about your situation.. glad you taking it well though.
I feel like even if my situation doesnt work out im not just going to give up on it... i know there is still love between us and if it doesnt work out right away in the future if we meet again i think we will both have those feelings coming back specially because we didnt end things on a bad note but more of a confused i need space to grow type of thing.
sparrow are you gonna talk to her?
in my opinion, you at least need to meet.. if you dont, feelings tend to fade.. (not for US I guess.. for them :P)
Yea i think im going to call thursday and see if she wants to get ice cream over the weekend. Not planning on talking about the relationship just want to have a good time..show her what she is missing..ya know
yeah.. try to play it cool... best of luck to you...
good luck sparrow keep me posted...
i will hopefully she will accept otherwise i dont know what i will do.
you will most likely cry and scream and want to throw things.. just prepare yourself..