Hmmm. Maybe.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Hmmm. Maybe.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Oh I fully realise it's just a maybe. I'm going through a phase of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. oops I might want to change my mood from cynical then, huh? :pQuote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You say you don't drink coffee, tea,alcohol smoke....nothing? Do you talk to people? What do you do? Get out more! Do something crazy and different. Please don't ask "like what ?"
Love and live a little
Get online and search for singles events in your area .... Join on online dating site like match.com.....go out and simply say hi to some girls you feel are attractive..... This isn't rocket science.
surfhb: "You say you don't drink coffee, tea,alcohol smoke" Yes, that is correct.
"Do you talk to people?" Yes, every day.
"What do you do?" Activities (on a regular basis): "The only activities I really do are weight lifting, softball, reading, video games, movies." Every now and then I do other things, but not often. These are activities outside of "normal" stuff I do like university courses, going out to eat, etc.
"go out and simply say hi to some girls you feel are attractive" I've stressed that this is not something I do not have a problem with. I do, in fact, talk to girls I find attractive quite often and in most cases end up having at least a normal conversation with them. The problem is that I don't know where to go from there because past eating out or the occasional film I can't think of anything to do with women (excluding um... physical stuff).
I don't think a dating site is for me man, sorry. It's not like I want a girlfriend so bad I'll go out with anyone who pays me attention, and I definitely don't have money to spend on things like that. If there is a girl that I just so happen to be interested in, then yeah, I'll ask her out. What I won't do though is start asking girls out just because I "have" to have a girlfriend.
Plus, for any girl that is moderately attractive to be using a dating site there are potentially a number of things going on (or any combination of them at the same time): a) the girl is wacko and can't keep guys around her for long, b) the girl has had a couple terrible relationships and doesn't "trust" meeting men in the normal fashion (certainly possible but least likely), c) she has self esteem issues and is lonely, but hasn't liked any of the guys she meets in real life. This girl will probably end up being clingy or emotionally all over the place, d) is a normal girl (if this is the case though, then why does she have problems with all of the real-life guys around her?)
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MaidenMinx: "I actually thought he was asking for more info and further clarification, rather than making excuses." Thank you. She has the correct approach here.
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Yet Another Guy: I'm not too successful either, but I've seen how women act around guys they're interested in.
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Wakeup: "I'm wondering if he was bought up in a Monestary. Asking questions is one thing but this is quite another." What is quite another? I guess the level of detail I'm asking for?
"OP: It's almost as if you've had zero experience out in society or in interpersonal interaction." I've always had only two or three friends that I've actually done things with, but I have plenty of "situational friends", that is, people who I am on good terms with and you could technically consider us "friends" but we don't hang out together.
There are a couple things I have little to no experience with and those are: 1) "normal" college student activities like partying and 2) relationships with women.
1) I went to a few parties in middle school and didn't see the big deal. In high school I didn't really go to parties because a) I don't drink (dislike the taste and IMO getting drunk is stupid; I can't tell you how many shitty things have happened to people I know because of getting drunk) and b) quite frankly, I disliked most of the people in high school who did that sort of thing.
2) I went to a couple dances in middle school with girls, and there were probably a handful I could have "dated" (you can't really seriously date anyone in middle school) if I wanted to, but for whatever reason (worried about what people I tried to impress would think for example) I never tried to go any further than flirting.
Ever since then, I'd say there have been only THREE girls who have shown interest in me, and one of them doesn't count because she just wanted someone to rebound with (within 24 hours she had gotten back together with the guy who dumped her, we cancelled our planned activity and I never heard from her again). Only one of these girls ever did anything with me, and after a couple times of hanging out she lost interest. I've asked out plenty since middle school, probably 5 in high school, and 10+ in college and the only once that has had anything to do with me is the one I just mentioned. Just looking at me you wouldn't even think I was a geek or an introvert; maybe people are picking up on a vibe?
Dude....you have some imagination and sense of humor! Yeah....i know you dont do those things....my point is you need to change your attitude. No one drinks because they like the taste...we drink because it gets a party going. Dont you get that?
Seriously?! If this is your problem you need help bro! Take her to the beach, minature golf, picnic, hiking, scuba diving, museum, sky diving, fishing, cooking classes, lecture at a local college, snowboarding, surfing.....Quote:
I've stressed that this is not something I do not have a problem with. I do, in fact, talk to girls I find attractive quite often and in most cases end up having at least a normal conversation with them. The problem is that I don't know where to go from there because past eating out or the occasional film I can't think of anything to do with women (excluding um... physical stuff).
Stop being a retard!
*sigh*
Richard, until surf called you a retard, he had some good suggestions.
Well...in a fun, light hearted kind of way :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
They're still good suggestions.
Oh indeed. I'm just not overly fond of the 'r' word. I know I use it myself too much but having a son with a disability makes me cringe when I hear it thrown around. Oh and when I use it, I'm only ever calling me one and I usually call me an effing retard. I need to change my language.
lol.. I combine the two words to form "fvcktard."
I concede I need to cut it out too.
I use that one too. Wife hates it, as she works with developmentally disabled adults, and is in school to be a Special Ed teacher.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I use that one too, but also have to stop it.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What? We aren't allowed to call someone mentally retarded anymore? Isn't that a function of their IQ? Someone under 90 = retarded, particularly if they developed slower than the population mean less, say, 1 stdev? End of.
The word retarded now has the same stigma as spastic, Indi. If you call someone with cerebal palsy a spastic ... prepare to be stoned these days. Same with the word retard.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Taking it to a personal level, if my son was born 40 yrs ago, he would have been diagnosed as 'retarded'. He probably never would have learnt to speak and no one would have assumed he had any talents to speak of. At this point we can't accurately get an idea of his IQ but he is certainly NOT stupid.
So you are both right and wrong and in this day and age of PCnes it's always best to err on the side of caution.
Oh and according to Oprah today the average IQ is 100 points. If 90 or under makes you mentally impaired that makes a lot of the planet morons.
The Intelligence Quotient is periodically updated and adjusted so that 100 is the median, so that's accurate. Which means that half of everyone you meet falls below that line. An IQ of less than 70 is considered "retarded". Over 70 is considered to be on the slow side of the normal range.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Wait, so are we actually discussing the likelihood of me being a retard (excuse me, mentally handicapped)? haha
Ummm.....Yeah....pretty much. You sound like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh :)Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hey man, you just crossed the line.
Back to the discussion, is there anything left to say?
Lol. I know I wasn't. I was stating the unPCness of using the word retard.Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So I was right! There ARE a lot of morons on the planet. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Eeyore wasn't retarded, he was just depressed.Quote:
Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah, we kind of got side-tracked.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
lol It happens.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sort of. Moron is an outdated term for someone who's IQ is in the 51-70 range. An idiot was somebody whose IQ was in the 26-50 range, and an imbecile was someone whose IQ was in the 0-25 range. All in clinical disuse now.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Let me rephrase, I knew there was a lot of stupid people on the planet.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But I must admit, that is quite interesting.
There is an attractive girl I've seen a couple times hostessing at restaurant I go to sometimes. The other day I tried to start a conversation but after a couple statements a few people just had to come in wanting something to eat so she had to get back to work. It was already hard enough to try to talk her because her manager was literally standing next to her like 85% of the time up at the front. I tried waiting for a minute or so to see if I could get a little more conversation in but before she came back the manager was already up there asking me if I needed a table. I just said I was waiting on someone to leave and then kind of signalled my friend I was eating with to come on.
Anyway... what the hell, you know what? I'm going to go eat there on the weekend a couple more times and try to talk to her some more. Once I do that I'm asking her out to lunch. We'll see if I can avoid manager hawk.
I'm not erring on the side of caution. I'm being correct. Not politically correct but CORRECT. There is a precise definition for the word retard.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I have no problem with those with disabilities or genetic defects. Its part of the spectrum of life. Some have abilities above the curve, some below. I do have a problem with a society that is expected to make unreasonable allowances for them, precisely b/c they are not the majority. We all have abilities and limitations, and we should try to work to our strengths. I know your son is autistic. I also know that means there are some things he will never, and should never, do. If you have a problem with this you are being unrealistic.
Not everyone who wants to be an astronaut gets to be an astronaut. The fact there are people who object to this basic truth exemplifies the major delusion most of our society suffers from. Its just like the poster:
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
There's a George Carlin joke about this, I think. Anyway, if you can type and post to this site its unlikely you are a retard.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Stupid iPad won't let me remove all of the image info... Grrrrr.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I know there are things my son will never do. I know that better than anyone else. Problem with autism is it can be really hard to figure out what those things are.
The only problem I have with your attitude is it doesn't seem very compassionate. Sure disabled people are the minority but that doesn't mean they're feelings shouldn't be considered. People over the years have slowly removed words like 'nigger' from their vocab, why not retard?
The Autism spectrum is quite broad. Many have no cognitive dysfunction, but simply have difficulty relating to and communicating with other people, which can be mitigated by intensive training.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Nigger is designed to be a pejorative. It was never defined as the level of melanin in someone's skin.
Shrug on the compassion part. When I was a student (training) I spent two summers working with the elderly and retarded. Two young fellows in particular were lovely. One moderately retarded, one severely (thyroid problem at birth). Neither were going to become rocket scientists. Not that they needed to be, but there are many people out there who think just because they want to do something it means they can. University is filled with mediocre students who think b/c they pay money they are owed a degree and a high-paying job on graduation. At least 1/2 of the students at any given university should be kicked out. We aren't allowed to call them stupid or lazy even though they are.
I could tell you story after story about the student with a disability who was given extra time/oppportunity/resources that the MUCH better student never ever sees these days.
So? there are just as many or more who can do the same job (or better) without the intensive training.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think we have a fundamental difference in philosophy. I don't think its ever about bringing up the least to the mean. Its about raising the best even higher.
To be diagnosed with autism you have to have issues in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, and have the presence of repetitive and restricted patterns of behavior, interests, and activities.Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Aspergers rarely have speech delays but will have issues with communication.
PDD-NOS has 2 keys areas.
They are in the process of changing the diagnosis process. They are looking to include sensory processing issues.
The sensory issues and the anxiety that comes from not knowing how to socialise are the most debilitating problems for aspies and other high functioning people on the spectrum.
Indi, I thought we lived in a more humane society than that. Your lack of humanity shocks and appalls me.
Thank you ever so much for assuming that someone with a disability can't be the best.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
These astronauts you keep mentioning wouldn't get anywhere without people on the autism spectrum. Something like 80% of NASAs employees are on the spectrum. They are prone to extraordinary focus and their limited interests often angle towards maths.
But lets not give them the help they need to meet their potential because they have the potential to be a drain on society.
Does this mean it would be okay for me to say something like: "Stop acting like your IQ is under 90?"
On Topic: OP: I got the impression that you were an Aspi. Forgive me for that assumption however most of us learn to be social in grade school and our ability to be naturally social usually improves with age and experience. You paint a picture of yourself having been, at the very least, home schooled.
As was mentioned a couple of times now, stop worrying and thinking so much and get out there and DO. First hand experience is how you'll learn... not listening to us and what we have to say about your shit.
Really? I don't think he's much different from myself and I've not been diagnosed with any disorder and wasn't home schooled.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think he just needs a bit experience.
I said nothing about autism. Particularly high-functioning autism. Remember I'm a scientist. I am more than familiar with that phenotype. A high-functioning autistic of the sort you refer to will do exceptionally well on a graduate-level math exam. That is not what we were discussing.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
We were discussing the word retard. Don't transfer your issues on this subject to me, Minx.
I have no problem helping people w/disabilities. Again, look to yourself for filling in the blanks of my posts. What I am saying is that we shouldn't lower our standards for any job or discipline, particularly one that is of a high-tech/professional nature. Either someone can compete or they cannot. If they have disabilities such that they cannot compete with those who do not, then they don't belong in that job of field. End of.
Apparently not. Eventually we won't be allowed to say anything about anyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
@ Minx. People are NOT created equal. I'm pretty smart compared to the average, possibly even slightly autistic (tho not nearly as much as other scientists I know). I'm even a fair musician in my spare time. But I will NEVER be an opera singer or concert pianist. I am, however, smart enough to realize it would be a huge waste of my time to try to be such.