....I'll repost this....sorry
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....I'll repost this....sorry
You'll have to ride on the back of my pretend motorcycle as we ride off into the sunset... thats the only right way to end it.Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Lol Name, looks like we're three-for-three!Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But, we're carrying mega assault weapons, as I feel like we've just had a zombie encounter, or something kinda Mad Max-ish... lol
That's only because Jeffrey Dahmer didn't have internet.Quote:
Originally Posted by Millie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I see you've done this before then :) Impressive.Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Hey. I know exactly how you feel InternalBleed. I think you're just letting the steam out but I know you're not gonna do anything. Nobody says it and expect not to get caught. You need to get professional help. Please. This is something that needs immediate attention not because you might do something (you are not really going to do anything) but because of your mental declination.
Well, I don't want to brag, but I live in a border state. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Bleeding Kansas?Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Something like that. lolQuote:
Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
'Physical pain is fleeting. Other pain, or "spiritual" pain, is not. I can live with permanent physical scars, I already have those anyway. [U]But not permanent internal scars. If I could find some way to destroy them internally...'
There ARE ways to heal!!! You just have to start looking for them!!! People heal emotionally every day.
Do you know any ways?Quote:
Originally Posted by valixy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Most things I've read just say "give it time", "distract yourself", or something else that does not seem to be working. I'm still mad after.
Yes, i do.......
Well, I just signed up for this site so I could add to the helpful advice you're getting. First, you can afford therapy because you can't afford prison. Also, if you think you'll just go the rest of your life w/out having sex, you are fooling yourself. It's really obvious that you have a hard time being alone. How do I know this? Because you were so willing to bend over backwards to please those men.
You appear to have (at least) Borderline Personality Disorder. It's known as the "I love you / I hate you" syndrome ... like Glenn Close's character in "Fatal Attraction". You are quick to try and please people, and equally quick to develop hatred toward them. You convince yourself that the real problem has nothing to do with you, it has to be the men you feel victimized by. You can't see how some of your own actions led to you landing in the same situation over and over again, with the same kind of man. If you knew how angry you were with YOURSELF, for your own behavior (and not just these men), it might overwhelm you. In that way, it's easier to see them as the soul victims.
When I was younger, I "somehow" kept attracting men who weren't interested in much beyond sex. Then I looked at my own life - the man who raised me, how troubled my r-ship with him was ... how every corner I turned, I ran into a similar type of man, and ended up dating him. Once I went into therapy, it slowly dawned on me that I was subconsciously attracted AND revolted to men who wanted to use me, because I was trying to recreate and FIX the crappy r-ship I'd had with my father. Listen, a funny thing happened once I started taking more responsibility for my actions and my anger: I started feeling better about myself, and I started noticing all the great men out there. And - my hand to God - I also started losing my attraction to the emotionally unavailable men that had "somehow" turned up in my life when I was an angry, hurt mess. I could spot the wrong type of man as soon as he entered the room. ... You didn't accidentally stumble into the same hole three times. And your extreme anger has been with you since you were a kid. You just got good at "playing nice", until you couldn't play nice anymore and you slashed someone with a box cutter, which is criminal assault.
1. Get therapy. Now. Yesterday.
2. Take your own advice: Don't date or sleep with anyone.
3. Take the anger management class someone else suggested - I took that once. It was an eye-opener. You deserve some relief from the anger you're tortured by.
Finally, I really do commend you for being honest about your homicidal impulses. I can't help but think a huge part of you really does want help with this, otherwise, why announce it in a public forum?
I had a childhood trauma that tortured me for years until adulthood actually. It completely disappearead when I was 27, completely, all emotional attachment to those memories was simply gone. All of it. And all that sufferance was replaced with happiness.
Then I met the 'perfect love', the one I had always dreamt of. It was just as I wanted it to be. When that was gone, it took me four years to heal. Four years of every day pain. And one day, the pain was all gone...All of it. And I became happier and stronger than I had ever been.
I could explain you everything better in private because I know how it happened, if you think you're interested...
OMG! What is wrong with some of you?! I am extremely disappointed in some of the things I have read here in the last 24 hours, vehemently disappointed. A true homicidal maniac would not be on here leaving a trail behind if they planned on killing someone, normally this would be a heat of the moment kind of thing. The fact is, from EVERYTHING else I have read, OP is experiencing a severe grief from losing so many times in her life. GRIEF COMES IN MANY SHAPES AND FORMS, IT TAKES MANY SHAPES AND FORMS, AND IS RELEASED IN AN ENDLESS AMOUNT OF WAYS.
You don't think if someone said something negative about my dead sister I wouldn't **** them up? I mean, I WOULD KILL someone if they talked about my sister, or her kids in a negative way. I find it intolerable and one day, I won't be so bad, but I might as well have a knife protruding from my heart and every time someone says something hurtful to me, it's like they are flicking the blade and then salting the freshly torn wound.
The fact is your all guilty. You have all treated someone you love like shit because you were hurt or angry. You ALL have had a violent swing to want to harm someone WHETHER or not you can own up to it. WE all have. Those who are afraid of this impulse, WOULD turn to look for help but all I see are people harshly criticizing a young woman who is trying to vent through all the healthy means that she can. When you have a problem and you feel you are not right. Reaching out for help is EXACTLY what should be done.
Bleed, Take your own words and go with it and take the advice that is genuine on here and use it. I used to be a happy individual too, and then I nearly ripped someone's eye out of their head having a rage and there isn't a day that goes by when it doesn't pop into my mind and I just feel horrid.. I went to therapy over that and found out where all my rage was really stemming from, and when my sister died I was on that edge again and had to back away slowly.. I was in such a state of grief from losing my cousin and her baby, and my grandma and brother n law dying the same day, then being screwed over my my ex bfs, supposive friends, and having a history of early childhood trauma, I was a bomb ticking away. Until someone goes through unreasonable grief and stress they may never know how you, or I even feel. All I can say is this, If I can come back, if others can come back and become better more independent strong people, than so can you!
I may get a lot of shit for saying what I have, but the fact is I am right. People can disagree but my green grass is just fine and I wouldn't want anyone stepping on it anyways making it into shit.
You need to just be yourself, love yourself and gain your own independence. YOU should NEVER change for anyone. EVER. NEVER. EVER. If you can't be yourself, then you need to be the one saying "Well it was fun, but I have to go." Identity is crucial at your age, HELL it is crucial at mine as well. Without identity we don't have a sense of self and we wander about aimlessly never really knowing what we are looking for.
Know yourself, and love yourself, and when you are done getting help and you feel happy, good and calm again, you WILL find someone, and if you wait, if you let them treat you the way a woman should be treated without giving into the sex, you will find a decent guy.
And whatever you do, be honest about your feelings don't stuff them away. Stuffing them only makes things suffocative. Whenever you get upset and or angry, take a deep breath, and let it out nice and easy.
Now, I hope you get help and take care of yourself. Ignore any bullshit you already read, and no you are not crazy and those who say you are, should just be ignored.
Once again, some of you should be ashamed, I don't care if this is just a forum, if you can help someone you do, you don't just fan a flame and laugh about it, or act like it's unimportant because it makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes in life, we have to leave our comfort zone, until we do, we don't make a difference in our own lives, let alone anyone else's. Thanks.
Lol Moon, are you serious? The girl got dumped three times and she's raging like a damn psycho, nobody died in her story (yet) and I think most everybody who has made more than one comment on this thread has given the advice that this person needs help as an absolute priority, which you appear to agree with in your post, so I'm not sure what you're so ashamed/disappointed in. Personally I have nothing to feel guilty about that I know of and I most certainly have never ever had a violent swing to want to hurt someone but if you want to believe that I'm in denial you rock on :) the FACT is you are not right, your opinion is not fact, it's just your opinion
Millie - I'm sure I'm not alone in this... but I don't read your posts. I haven't a clue what the content of them is, I skip 'em because of the eye-bleed color. For all I know your posts might be insightful and intelligent.
Lol that is entirely your choice, the color option is there so I figured I may as well make use of it, sorry it offends your eyes - but then you won't be reading this so I may as well save my font, right? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah its almost a conspiracy to murder, I'd like to post post more, but im i'm too busy sandbagging my bunker.
If I murdered everyone who was dishonest to me in the past, Id be looking at consecutive life sentences... the world is full of turdish people, male or female.... be cool OP or your life may actually become worse than you're posting here now...... cheers Raft.
Her posts are of value IMO... maybe you cant read them, because you're looking through rose tinted glassesQuote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderTheMoon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Don't tell me, or anyone else, what I'm guilty of. Have I, in the heat of the moment, wanted to hit someone? Yes. Have I? No. Have I planned out the ways I would want to murder someone? Umm...seriously?
The OP has already sliced someone, just for saying the wrong thing to her. You think that's "healthy venting", do ya? She should already be locked up and undergoing an intensive psych evaluation and treatment. She is clearly a danger to others.
And if you would "kill" someone for saying something about your sister, then I can see why you support the OP, because your emotional and psychological makeup is exactly the same, and just as unstable.
The response and reaction needs to fit the offense.
They might be... but I'm not putting on sunglasses just to read her shit.
I agree, the bitch that uses the pink font is an utter cunt. The OP, however, is funny.
Well, you live in the USA, so all I'll tell you is that the criminal sentence for premeditated murder is longer than spontaneous. So, don't think about it; just do it. lmfao jk
In all seriousness, seek help...not a weapon.
Lol, I could be a psycho, but I don't see people willingly trying to start a fight either. And If I remember correctly I said we have all had these thoughts WHETHER or not we admit to them. If you can't admit it, that is fine, but I guarantee everyone has hit a point in time where they shook with rage and it took everything they had to lock it all up.
I never said she was ok with the slashing comment she made, I said it wasn't right, I even said she took it out on the wrong person in the wrong way which is why I said she should find something inanimate to vent on and wear herself out on.
I don't believe a single person here can say their mind was thick with sugar and honey when they encountered something devastating and I think this kind of rage goes beyond dumping. Just sitting here and telling someone they are psychotic doesn't help, I am sure they already feel this way and alarm themselves with their own actions hence the need for advice and complete and utter help. Her post may have been terrifying, but sometimes we all are. No one is normal and 100% healthy, and those who believe they are, are only fooling themselves.
And my mental stability is fine. I don't think anyone is stupid enough to make fun of completely orphaned children to someone's face, and if they do, an they get a bloodied up mouth, their problem. (If that makes someone mad oh well, you don't attack someone when they are in a weak state of mind and grieving, you might as well be kicking a hornets nest.) When I tell people how I feel, they normally know not to touch the subject because it is touchy for me, and someone trying to dig their way into that mess is asking for a beating. It will be a long time before I recover from that loss, it took me a long time before when I watched my cousin and her baby come out of a car in pieces after being wrapped up around a pole. Tell me you are normal after you witness something so horrible. You never are and those who say they are, I think have deeper issues to address, but I doubt majority of people who read this will agree with what I feel, but then again we are all different and I could give a **** less what someone else thinks. My opinion is mine, and those who HAVE been there will agree and understand how hard it is to deal with such a heavy load of feelings.
Hence when I posted what I did last, I said "some of you" not all but some. If my opinion offends, then take a ticket and stand in line with the rest. I have no problem addressing each and every single person one at a time with my full attention. :)
stfu, no one reads your epic posts
The violent impulse is something we are all guilty of like I said. I said she needed to do some healthy venting, to something and not someone, and if someone ****ed up and said something about my sister, yes, I would go crazy on them, because a normal person, wouldn't say something at all in such a negative way. I am not normal, and I have my own issues, granted my actions have fit the offense on more than one occasion but, I think you skimmed which is fine I write a lot but I think you missed some of what I said.Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You just admitted to what I was saying we are all guilty of. The variance of how far that is taken, is different for everyone. That is also why I gave her a lot of ways to get help. I don't want to see someone fall down the hole and never come back. That can be a hard place to leave once you get there.
Your thoughts are your own.
yea its hard to get out a hole.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderTheMoon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
?? Huh?
Sorry, no. Perhaps you need to feel better about yourself for being a violent person, but I am not like that. Nor do I associate with anyone who is, frankly. Sure, I've been plenty mad before, and everyone does get that way. But I don't start thinking about maiming, hurting, or killing people. I know how to handle my anger, as most people do.
Hey - angry and violent people need to rationalize their rage, so if finding a soul sister in the OP works for you, or painting everyone in the world with the same rageaholic brush as you, then go for it. It sounds like you're also looking for excuses to not be able to control your rage and outbursts. Lots of people have been through trauma, dear. Far worse that whatever yours are. And they don't walk around itching to throw a beat down or feel entitled to want to hurt others.
SIGH.
I hope you also find a healthy outlet for your rage. Displaced, you're just as dangerous as the OP. :(
You need to apologize to him, even though I am sure he would never accept it. The fact is, what's done is done, and it is time to move on and work on making your life a healthier one. I would be lying if I said there was a light at the end of the tunnel of this journey, but it takes a while and you have to keep working on it. The fact is, if you were diagnosed with personality disorders than you REALLY need to hurry in and take up that free counseling which is available to you and I guarantee you can obtain free healthcare too. It is available to those who qualify and I think you do.Quote:
Originally Posted by InternalBleed [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You need meds and counseling, and I know you don't like hearing that, but that is the case my dear. Don't worry about getting involved for a while. You need to take your time on yourself and become a healthier person. You don't want your life ruined because you neglected yourself.
you tell her namethename, bitch is a danger to us all imo
If I was that bad, I would already be locked up and sure not playing on the internet. : ) I am glad you know my life and the tragedies it has. I never said I handled it well but I am trying. WHAT I WANT and what I actually DO are two different things.Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Nope. Homicidal sorts come in all different sizes, shapes and forms. You should allow a professional to decide who is and who isn't truly a "homicidal maniac" based on a formal psychological assessment, rather than trying to play at being an online armchair psychoanalyst.Quote:
Originally Posted by UnderTheMoon [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Then you have as much or more of an anger management problem that the OP, which is pretty disturbing.Quote:
You don't think if someone said something negative about my dead sister I wouldn't **** them up? I mean, I WOULD KILL someone if they talked about my sister, or her kids in a negative way.
Well, actually that's really bad advice. If you have so much unmanaged rage that you've already physically assaulted someone with a box cutter and you're pleased by the prospect of seeing your smiling reflection in someone's blood who you gleefully tortured (even if just in your imagination), like the OP, you NEED change more than you need air to breath ... because you are officially a danger to all other people around you.Quote:
YOU should NEVER change for anyone. EVER. NEVER. EVER.
I like this bro, Villo. Tells shit just like it is.
You are so right. I am not a professional just giving my view. You are not a professional and no one else here is either. Point made.Quote:
Originally Posted by Villo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Oh, I know I have anger issues. I have had help, and I have made it through. ONCE again I will say, what I WANT and what I actually DO are two different things. Being able to differentiate is very important which people also need to understand.
When it comes to her dating, if all was well and they just left, then I think that isn't her fault. Being yourself is important. The fact that this has caused her to think and feel this way, is where her needing help comes in. Like I said earlier, I don't think these relationships are the cause of her problems, I think it is something deeper. It was for me when I sought help for anger and depression.
I am a danger to people around me. More so the people I choose to avoid and don't associate with that only bring negativity in my life.
My whole point with what I posted, is being negative doesn't influence a person to get help. Being on someone and pushing them down more, DOES not make them get help. So if you feel the OP needs help, be encouraging for it and give as much positive influence you can, otherwise you will make this person take off and who knows what could happen.
Least I can say I told her methods to help, and where to seek good help from for free and within her means. SOME people on here just wanted to bash, and good for them. Only hope someone doesn't come into their lives that was bashed on when seeking help.
I am done here. If a narrow window is all someone sees, then have fun sitting on a seal and only looking out that narrow view because you felt high and mighty on your rotten wooden ledge. Some of us are out here fighting to make life the best that it can be despite our downfalls and poor circumstances, even upbringing. If your scared fine, but I don't fear people like this, no one is just this way for no reason, but then again that is why I am in school for what I am. I don't just think one thing and run with it. I think from experience and apply it.
The best advice is from those who have suffered through something, and managed to survive.
Bleed, just go get help, if you need more advice and help to find the proper resources for your area, PM me, I will help you look. I am sorry you have these feelings and I understand the mistakes you have made and I feel for you. You just need to realize that your ex's are not the pitfall for your rage, and no person ever should be. You are young and struggling, and one day, despite all this mess you will find your way. We all tend to as long as we try to become better people.
I think your inbreeding is a danger to the human race.Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeyFromFriends [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I leave for a few short hours and this thread blows up...
I wish I could address all of it, but I'm going to just do some quick bullets because its late and my dog is laying on my leg.
UnderTheMoon --
The OP isn't here asking for help any longer, I've given her a number of outs, most of us have already suggested mental and emotional help, and the core of the OPs being has led her to shy away from anything we could possibly assist her with. Instead the negativity, anger, and darkness that she chooses to exhibit is for her own personal pleasure. What she is doing may have started as a cry for help as we would all like to believe, now its a cry for attention.
I also don't agree that we all have violent tendencies. I wouldn't agree that we all even have violent thoughts. My default setting isn't smashing things and destroying... that is and has always been counterproductive in my eyes despite my personal hardships, of which I've had many. Everyone is different, and I think its unfair for us all to make generalizations based on our limited understanding of the greater population. If what you say is true, this wouldn't be such a hotbutton issue as we would have had many more destructive, in depth, mortifying threads similar to this one, of which, so far, we've seen seldom of.
Meanwhile, I think Namemyname may have been a little judgmental with the psychotic bit, but originally the premise was to try and help, of that I've tried multiple times, and given many suggestions, even to the point of assisting with helpful materials in lieu of actual medical assistance, and still, the fish doesn't bite. What else would you have us do? Understanding can only go so far before we too, must give up. You can't help anyone who isn't ready to accept help.
Internal, you have a victim mentality. You have to stop thinking of yourself as a victim, and your anger will disappear. You also have disproportionate view of how much you have been wronged. Put yourself in those men's shoes, now imagine someone doing to you what you want to do to them, for the same that they have done to you, and you will see, it just doesn't make sense. Another thing is, your satisfaction will be momentary, but the consequences will be permanent. You will live with it for the rest of your life, and perhaps eternity. You will bear the consequences one way or another, and all of that for an illusional momentary satisfaction. You will dread the consequences, I can assure you. Focus on the consequences of your actions and the disproportionality of them. It's also a huge waste of time, to perpetuate negative emotions, when you could be feeling happiness.