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you cant live a life that doesnt hurt
or if you can - please tell me how.
but you can live your life regardless. Hurting is part of this life. It feels like shit. Most of us have been there.
Life also is wonderful and you can also enjoy it.
no i dont think he is pure. Pure evil perhaps.
i think he is a (emotionally stupid) asshole.
Someone who deliberately hurts other persons is not a person I would want to be around.
Be glad that he is not part of your life anymore.
thanks for ur reply once again..
s ur right.. life has hurting as it's part but I think life has given me too much hurt and I need to stop it now..
he called and asked sorry about saying sin.. I think v r not perfect couple and v don't suit for each other.. may be he may find someone whom seems to be so good in his view..
I missed him like hell and today his words are anchor to me to move in my life.. I should move forward in my life..
I have only one way to stop the pain to be working and I wonder if youknow what it is?
what is it???
I dont know wat ur referring to...
Think about it.
Gues if you want.
If you don't know then hit me up in a week and I tell you
It's actually rather straight forward and obvious and no big Realisation really
may be like we should stick to anger part and forget him... or we should always be engaged in a work... is my guess right?? or wat is it
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today we had function in our college.. morning we had exams.. in the exam hall he was talking with a girl for nearly 1 hour.. that time really I felt like sitting in a hell... really I m not matured enough.. I myself know that.. but how can I control my feelings wen he is not talking with me for even a minute and talking with other girl for 1 hour... and after exam gets over also he was talking with other girl... that time I could run from that place so I went away..but in exam hall how can I go some where.. I really don't know wat to do...that girl is gud girl only and friend of mine also but also I could not feel good wen seeing that...
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after exams gets over.. I was eating lunch and he came and gave me temple food .since I was eating I said to him like I vl go to temple and get food.. urself eat this one.. he also got and at night I called him to check if has reached home as time got exceeded than the usual time.. that time he is saying that I insulted him a lot by returning food.. that this.. he is saying.. and he is saying like friend of him said like why u bought for her ?? I hate that friend of his..and because of him we got many fights in the past.. and even today because of him we got fight... I don't know wat mistake I have done.. I thought that he should eat and gave him and I was not feeling to eat it.. why is this all happening to me alone.?? I don't know wat I should have done?? pls help me with this problem..
You are feeling crazy. Only escape from this I see is theraphy or medication. Both would help. Its just this is hard part of your life cause of these situations and feelings about you ex.
I think life is driving me crazy... my boyfriend said that he loves me now and gave deadline like few months to answer whether I love him or not...
what is happening in my life.. why is this all happening to me.. I could not decide whether I love him or not after so many tough days with him..
I said he will come back. Remember my words.
I think its good time to talk with him and bring up past where he was bad to you. Is the problem why you broke up is solved? Will he really change and be better for you or will go to his old ways? All the bad things he said to you. He have to appologise.
really thanx for ur help and support... finally he came back and I want to live without thinking of anyone's past ..and so I told him that v can start fresh.. with no more demands or expectations or fights and one and only love..he accepted ..finally I m happy.. thanks
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I felt not to dig up the past so I dint ask anything about ..v r just going to start new fresh life leaving everything behind the past.. ur words are so powerful that I need to really really thank u for.. very big thanks pcmaster
No problem girl. Its just when you told how guy was to you, I got impression like he dont know how to handle girls. So thats why he didnt had the skill to find new girlfriend. Hes lucky he found yoy cause other girls wont put up or forgive that BS he did.
You both have a lot to learn. But I see goodness in your hearts.
yes pcmaster.. v have a lot to learn from life.. and I hope after so many hurts and worries i will be happy hereafter.. I just pray to god that no one should face this situation and all lovers should be happy and I wanna be happy.. have peace at mind..
Even if you dont become happy with this guy and you break up then instead of happines this guy will be your step to happiness.
Thanks for your prayers. Im in love too now. Seems like God have heard your prayers.
Sure we all wanna be happy. As someone said - We are born to be happy and make happy others. That maybe sounds too happy but I believe it is that.
Peace of mind is important too.
congrats pcmaster for ur love!!
always be happy!!!
hi everyone.. I need a help for my life..
today a friend of mine told me that I m behaving rudely to someone that they are thinking me as territory girl and fearing to ask any help.. and I accept that I m behaving rudely to few.. for eg., one day I was showing my documentation copy to my staff and other department one girl was asking me why am I showing in adobe instead of msword.. I replied to her like what is there in it.. then she became silent.. this is showing to her an impression like I m being rude.. but I don't know really how to reply in those situation because it was such a irrelevant question.. I don't like people asking like this or interfering in my things.. I don't know wat to do..when my friend told me that I am being rude ..I really don't know what to say her..
wen people ask me something when I m really really busy I just really gets irritated.. it is like disturbance to me.. I don't know how to be soft to someone when they actually irritate me.. I think I have low tolerant capacity..
I just wonder why I need to be tolerant to someone.. on the other hand when I came to know that people see me as terror girl and afraids to ask any help with me I feel really bad about myself..
help me pls..
Sounds like lack of sex. You need release so you will be less iritated.
sorry.. I think u misunderstood ... my friend who told me is seeing me for 3-4 years and she says I m behaving rudely ..
and in my place we don't do it before marriage.. so it is not with what u have mentioned..
Its not okay to be rude but if its just sometimes not everyday then its okay I think.
Then you should get married. You can get rings on ebay or aliexpress fir 2$ easy. Really condoms are more expensive than rings these days lol.
start giving to other people
i dont see what the problem is.
I dont see why you have to be rude or anything. My impression is that you are incredibly unsure about yourself.
So i give you some general hints:
You can only make the best decisions with your current knowledge. Everyone makes mistakes. Dont be afraid of making them.
If you do something then do it with full intention and full awareness of the consequences and hold true to yourself.
Maybe it was stupid. Then you can admit that and do better next time.
Be honest with everyone. If you think people are shit - call them out on it.
GIVE to people. It doesnt cost you anything to be kind. If it doesnt cost you anything then share and be greatful.
Be friendly, but also honest at the same time.
If you dont like someone - let them know.
If you did something wrong - apologise.
If you did nothing wrong - dont apologise.
be more realistic about the world. Be straight and expect people to be straight with you.
DECIDE things. and stick to it. If someone else comes along he will need good arguments for you to change your decision.
stop being stiff and uptight but also stop following other people blindly.
be responsible for the things you do - and expect others to do the same.
To me you seem to be a very socially conditioned person whos entire life is based on what other people do to her and how they see you. You put way to much emphasis on "how things are done" on your social surrounding. You think that things are happening TO you - instead of thinking about what you need to change in order for things to be different.
You think about little thinks way to much (like the temple food story. The whole thing is just plain stupid nonsense). You overanalise and then act on your overly analytical thoughts.
Sex could help with this cause it makes one feel great about themselves and also new confidence and better communication with others come out of it. You should at least be kissing sometimes.
thanks hooo for ur reply.. ur right I am being socially conditioned person without even knowing to myself.. I was not aware of my life.. I just talk or act without knowing the consequences ..
I don't know exactly how to be aware of my words or thoughts or actions .. actually I feel like my life and thoughts are out of my control.. what should I do????
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sorry pcmaster .. I think ur not understanding... I m from a rural area and we can't just kiss or hug whenever we want.. here everything is tradition.. we have some values or terms that we need to follow.. may be kiss can be the solution but it is not the solution with my case.. I need some psychological solution to improve my confidence, improve myself..
I just feel I lack confidence .. I want to live a life where I should not disturb anyone with my thoughts or actions.. and I m also afraid of society ..I am over afraid on how people will think of me, that this blah blah blah..
I need to improve myself.. I want to be a successful person both in my personal and professional side.. I have many dreams and there are hell lot of obstacles both from outside and within myself..
though I could not fight obstacles from outside at least I need to flight obstacles from within myself..
You cant be normal if you dont live normal life. Here in europe we can hug and kiss with our girlfriends. Its healthy, nice and sweet. Also problems you mentioned can be solved with heathy sex life.
Sure you can follow your gods and traditions. But they dont care about your happiness or satisfaction. Right now you are being just good slave. If thats who you wanna be then dont change your beliefs and traditions. If you want extreme results then it takes extreme actions.
I think you could do well with traveling around europe for a while. Sure it might be too expensive but maybe if you would see diferent cultures you would have something to compare with. Cause I think in your area culture is BS. People should be free and do what they want and when they want. That is if partner agrees with it of course.
Im not trying to change you. Im just saying that there is easdy fast and pleasurable way to change the way you want. Sure you can go the long and difficult path to it but that might take years if it will happen at all. Your other option is therapist and life coach.
its really a nice thought to go around the world ...may b one day I would fly...
what is mean by life coach??
I mean person who trains you for life. To unleash your full potencial and get unstuck.
Maybe start by traveling india. Like live in bigger more open minded city for a while.
very soon pcmaster...and even i m longing for life coach who can help me out in distress..
find out what you want (see here on how: http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/99726-what-do-you-want.html )Quote:
Originally Posted by Manju IT [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you are not getting it CHANGE what you are doing.
If there is something that repeatedly "happens" to yourself then find out what you did to make this happen to you.
Find out how to avoid that and what to do best instead.
Stop reacting to the world and start acting out of your own intentions to the world.
That means knowing what you want and what your intentions are. It also means (carefully) communicating them to the world.
Stop being a victim of fate, karma, circumstances, society, people or other outside things.
YOU have the power to change your circumstances. If you know what you want - go find out how to get there.
That doesnt mean being egoistical. It means being honest.
It doesnt mean you should not give anything to the world - you should. You should make the world a better place. But if you decide to do it, then do it because you WANT to.
And not because anyone (be it me, friends or the newspaper) tell you to.
You are afraid of what other people think of you? Thats bullshit. If you just react to the world people will think that you are everything you fear them about.
Every great personality has enemies and people who dont like them. Thats life. "If you are holding out for universal popularity you are going to be in this hut for a very long time"
I have a question to u hooo!..
one day ur coming to know that whom u thought as friend is making fun of u, thinking u as a cheap etc..etc.. how would u feel???
from the above mentioned circumstances will u be normal after knowing how people who have been friend to u itself has thought of u.. will u not be afraid of world...
and I have read what do u want thread.. actually wat u said is correct ..people always think that they are only facing that problem where many are also facing.. but people who say that problem as issue also knows that many are facing that problem somewhere in the world.. u might wonder then y r they asking .. but the problem with them is not that they are only facing.. problem is they don't have anyone to share , they don't have anyone to show kindness to them , show some confidence to them, give some advice to them.. that's why people are seeking help from forums..
this is in my point of view and if anything is wrong or if anything I misunderstood kindly say to me..
well that doesnt happen to me
because i have friends who are friends.
this happens if you are socially conditioned. You have people you are around
you always smile to them and do the accepted thing. You worry about your "reputation"
and then people tell you you are cheap.
Well to be frank: you ARE.
Or rather You have been up until now.
you can change. Take matters into your own hands.
Be responsible. If you dont like things how they are then CHANGE them.
or leave them
if you dont have anyone you can confide in, then why do you even worry about being socially acceptable?
With real friends you dont worry if you are socially acceptable to them.
If you dont have such friends yet its fine.
Think about the people in your life who matter to you and to whom you matter. Think about who do you want to have in your life - and who dont you wanna have in your life.
Real friendship can only be made out of trust and the willing to give to each other.
of course I worried about reputation..but as a proverb says "while in Rome be as a roman".. we have to live a life as how people live their life right??
I m not saying that since people here are like this so I have to be like this but I have seen people who live differently and what people talk about them in their backs.. so if I do so ..same thing vl happen to me right?? once ur known that this vl b ur consequences for being so and so then how vl u b confident in doing like that..??
If I talked about you bad. If I spread lies about you to my friends and if I thought u were a horrible person
What exactly would that mean to you?
I've had people on forums like this call me a big head an idiot and worse.
So what? What is their opinion to me?
If I help some people that's enough for me.
If your alternative is to lead a life that is always dependent on universal popularity; if your alternative is to only do what other people tell you is acceptable;, if your alternative is to not have real friends and be superficial
Then how can you not have the courage to be true?
Im not telling you to annoy everyone
Or to be selfish or anything
Im telling you to be honest with yourself and with the world
And expect the same back
Im telling you to be respectful and demand respect
Im telling you to love instead of hesitating. I'm telling you to go out and open yourself up so much that you can get hurt
And you will find People doing the same for you
Im not telling you to live differently from everyone else. I'm telling you to continually grow to be a stronger more independent and open woman
If anyone looks down on you for that then you will pitty them for it when the time comes.
Just like I pitty everyone who is talking shit about me. Usually it means they have nothing else in their lifes or that they are near minded.
Sometimes I'm even curious if i can learn something from the bad things other people say about me an I'm. Ring thankful for them to be honest with me
our first love / relationship is always the hardest to get over. All i can say is it will happen and you will someday look back and laugh at this situation.
we all go thru this to learn the lessons of love and you will end up doing the same. hardly anybody gets it right or meets their mate the first time - and again you are just going thru normal stuff. although this doesn thelp now, know that the world isn't over, you're life isnot done with, there will be others, and you will get over this.
keep that head up and just make a great life (bf or no bf) and never - as you already found out - never give up your life, your friends, etc. for a love. loves come and go - our careers, family, friends, and "life" - stsay forever. so focus on that side, not the love side. love will take care of itself.
good luck.
that is the problem with me hoo! thanks for pointing out that... I don't have courage to leave the things that some people told bad about me.. I could not ignore things that spread about me in wronger way... we should actually live our life according to our wish.. but problem is I don't have that courage.. I definitely wanna get courage..
I do not think that courage takes a part in this.
I think you do have courage to
However I don't know wether you want to be responsible for yourself
You see there is two kinds of people: the first kind accepts that they are in power and also liable to their lifes
The second kind feels powerless. It is the fate, karma, god, the circumstances, the resources or the government (or the Supreme Court) that is not on their side. And therefor they are dependent
And both have their point. And the second is far easier as in it's not your fault nor your responsibility nor your liability
However I find the first to be the more useful mindset
This has not much to do with courage
It has to do with attitude
s hoo! may be... may be I m not taking responsibility for my life.. can u tell me how I should take responsibility for my life .. can u help me cultivate that attitude..
I also feel that I m really worrying about my future... even to go a company for work .. I m fearing that will that place be OK.. will it be OK for my family.. will it be OK for my boyfriend... I think a hell lot about if it would be OK for others though I like it...and I just fear wat if they worry about my action..
help me with my issue
I can try
Let's take this as an example
Let us say you want that job
You think it's good for you and you like it.
So what if they tell you it's shit - no reasons. They just say it's completely shit. What happens?
So another scenario: they have some concrete doubts about the job and share those with you. What happens?
Next scenario: they have some doubts but overall say it's good. What happens?
Next scenario: they just tell you it's the best and wonderful- no reasons. What happens?
if they say it without any reason I vl ask them for reason..
if they say it with reason like job has rotational shifts.. i have to obey to their words..
, main problem is they are caring about me and emotionally they are attaking me..
What exactly makes you have to obey?
What exactly makes you feel you are emotionally attacked?