I was doing so good.. WHY am i doing this.... dammit.
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I was doing so good.. WHY am i doing this.... dammit.
It's a phase DH. It will pass. You know that
Removed because DH changed his post.
You said we weren't right for each other but I think you were only half right. I'm positive I am not what you wanted or needed as your actions have shown, but you had every quality that I had been looking for.
I thought to myself that all I wanted was a beautiful, kind of nerdy, emotionally balanced girl that was a little crazy, but mostly about me, and that who shared my sense of humor. A little thing that I could easily put my hands around your waist and pick you up like a sack of potatoes if I like. A sexual dynamo that reached the heights no other woman had matched before and I don't think you were even close to being out of ideas. I know I wasn't.
As I thought to myself I concluded that I had found everything that I ever wanted in you, but I also though that you came with so much more to that package. Your ridiculous insecurities, your emotional rants for no reason, your stubbornness to be so unwilling to move on issues that meant so much to me, and your callousness to just want to walk away if things got rocky, yet you say you loved me so much. In the end I got much more than I wanted and these traits were unbearable at times enough to make me want to walk away. It made me realized that if you had all I wanted I need to up my standards.
You said that it was a shame that we ruined a friendship by trying to make it more, but we really ruined something more by not respecting each other as much as we did in our friendship. I'm still having dreams about you but they're not the heartbroken dreams anymore where you're still causing me pain. In my dreams we're happy again together. I know you must still think about some of the wonderful things you left behind. Even if your new boyfriend can play guitar, I bet he doesn't kiss as good as me or make you laugh like I did. If you want to discount that, then be my guest but don't ever say a word to me of it.
yeah you are rightQuote:
Originally Posted by pisces25 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
haha i posted the same thing a little while agoQuote:
Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
i think its funny you wanted items back you said you paid for but some of them were taken for free....its whatever. im really more upset over the fact you took somthing you told me to keep then you actully seeing my mechanic and moving him into your new appartment.
Is it really possible to piss someone off enough for them to completely forget about all of the good things about your relationship? I guess so. Although I will say that I was always honest with you and I was never mean to you or degraded your personality. I was upset, frustrated and hurt. If I raised my voice and used bad language or pushed you to far, I'm sorry.
Actually...no I'm not. You deserved to be yelled at. You need a god damn wake up call. It just seems that your wake up call means "dating" other people...brillant...you're such a jerk.
Yea, I quoted you and changed it, but then you removed it, so I did too.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Its still there.. lol :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
When you promise me something and I ask you if I can rely on it, how can you ask so innocently "Why shouldn't you?"
How can you still expect me to believe every word you say after lying to me so many times and for so long? After breaking so many promises I built my life on? You can't have forgotten that, can you?
In what kind of reality are you living?
Why are you still talking to him?Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyeema [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So a friend of mine logged me into her Facebook to download some pictures for work for her. Of course I have to see if I can find your profile because well I don't have Facebook right now and well because...again...I'm a God damn idiot. It's probably not a good thing that the sight of your profile picture on Facebook makes me want to vomit instantly. At least it says your still single. God Damn it.
I wonder if you will call eventually.
It pisses me off that I am still pining away after you when you clearly aren't after me. F*** you......and what you did to my heart.
You've been on my mind lately, and I've found myself missing you and blaming myself for what went wrong between us. But you know what? That is some serious bullshit.
I've realized that you have nothing on me right now except professionally. Perhaps the reason I felt inferior to you at times is because I haven't finished my PhD yet, and am still living the life of a student, while you have a job men would kill to have, with a salary I will probably never rival. But I never loved you for your job or your money - I did support you, after all, when you talked about quitting to do something else. I loved you for a lot of other reasons which are irrelevant now. But I think your career and your money are the only areas in which you surpass me at the moment. I don't deny that you could have *imagined* yourself finding a more attractive girlfriend, a more 'interesting' girlfriend, a girlfriend with hobbies and a temperament more in line with your own. But I believe in my heart of hearts that you will never again find - and catch - a woman who ranked so high (and so high above *you*) in so many areas that were important to you. Women like me don't come around that often, you know. I'm sure a lot of women will be drawn to you for the same reasons I was - but I'm sure a lot of women will want to use you as well. In fact, I think it's more likely that the women you are undoubtedly now chasing will pay you attention in the hope they can cash in on what they *think* your lifestyle will afford them. They're going to be rather disappointed when they realize that's not how you operate, and you're going to be crushed when you realize they want you not for you, but for your assets.
I don't know what your ex-girlfriends were like, but I'm willing to bet pretty good money I was the best thing that ever happened to you, whether you realize it now or not. And you threw me away - for what? Was the tradeoff really that great? If you don't know it already, you made a serious mistake in leaving me.
I'm done feeling bad about the fact you left me. There is absolutely no good reason you should have. Whatever problems we had could have easily been overcome.
Good luck finding someone who holds a candle to what I offered you. If you manage to, it will be by the grace of God and not by your own doing. As for me, I'm sure I'll have no problem finding a better lover. You're not even a shadow of the man I thought you were.
Two reasons:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathias [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
1. Finances:
We took a loan and overdrew my accounts - everything on my name only (he couldn't sign anything because he has been executed for his old debts for ages) and he owes me money for his car and driving license. As I have no legal hold on him (we were not married) I need to keep him "friendly-minded" so he voluntary pays his part. He also pays for part of the dog food (3 dogs do eat a lot *ggg*). Unfortunately my financial situation is very bad at the moment (everything was built on being together) and so I depend on this money, otherwise I wouldn't care, believe me! How much would I love to be able to tell him what I really think of him! But I have to be rational here as long as my material existence depends on it.
2. Our dogs
Two of our (well, now my) dogs are difficult to handle, I don't know anybody else who can, so on Tuesday eg when I have to go to a funeral and will be away more than 8 hours, I need him to dogsit. I hope that in this point I will find another solution soon.
It's hard having contact with him without being able to tell him what I really think and feel. Especially as nobody else tells him the truth neither. But one day...
Daaayuuuuumm!! BURN! I love itQuote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
KARMA IS A BITCH AIN'T IT!!! I laughed my ASS off when I heard you wrecked your motorcycle and now it's in pieces HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....now what are you gonna do with all your time loser?! You have no money to fix it, no car and no job LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! You are pathetic.
What's up DH ? How you being doing? Such a long time I'm absent here
Hey kamakazi.. i sent you a PM.. but overall im doing waaaaay better. Up and down some days and I still think about things, but life moves on and quite frankly she will get hers. Karma is a bitch. This may sound odd, but people that **** with me always end up getting theirs. God is on my side :)
For the past two months, I've been angry with you for rejecting me. I've been angry because I loved you so much, and couldn't understand why you threw me away. I still don't understand why, but I realized tonight that I'm ok with it. I'm ok with it because I finally realized that you are not, and will never be, the man I really want or need.
I had this epiphany watching Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I love Allen's films, because they're so great at capturing the complexities of human/love relationships.
The long and the short of it, tiger, is that, while there is a great deal of Vicky in me, there is equally a lot of Cristina. In fact, in many ways, I am more like Cristina than Vicky. And the fact of the matter, tiger, is that you are Doug in that film - and the man I want is Juan Antonio.
As much as I loved you, I was deeply unsatisfied in our relationship. As wonderful as you are, babe, you lack some of the qualities I most admire in people: passion, intensity, creativity, and self-expression. I was happiest when we were making love. The rest of the time, I was (im)patiently waiting for something more from you. I made the mistake of thinking more would follow - that once I figured out how to unlock you, all those qualities would manifest. I realize now that this was never going to happen. I realize now, too, that you never understood - perhaps never could understand - all the parts of me I wanted you to value. I'm an artist, babe, and you... you are a stoic, analytical lawyer, whose interests are so far removed from mine. You are so wonderful in so many ways, but you are unfortunately not the man I desire. I would have been great to you had you stayed with me, but if you had, I would have grown quite bored with you over time. The fact is, I was often bored while we were together. I wanted someone else - but I just kept hoping I'd find him in you.
I am almost glad now you broke up with me, so I wouldn't have to hurt you one day. I think it was probably the best thing for both of us - though I do think you will regret letting me go. It was much easier for me to meet your needs than for you to meet mine. Your needs are so much simpler. I think, had you met mine, I might not have driven you to end our relationship.
I don't resent you anymore or blame you. Tonight, I feel free for the first time since our breakup. I see now that you dumping me was a sort of severe mercy. Now I can move on with my life and find my Juan Antonio.
I am glad, though, for the time we had together. You were, as I told you, the best lover I ever had, and I will always remember you fondly.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! dammit.. I have been trying so hard...I knew better than to reply.. yet I did it anyway..still busy, I guess, right? and no doubt people have been telling you things..and about the alcohol, yeah I know exactly how you feel.. mister holier than thou cant touch it.. well u know what? F*CK you. I didnt touch it for nearly 2 years.. didnt want it..hmm.. when you broke every single promise you ever made to me, it kinda hurt a little!! especially the name thing..still..you said always..I believed you.. every day for the rest of my life I should have had that..I was counting on it..
so, fine, you dont want to answer, then dont. gosh, did I make you FEEL BAD??? imagine that..
oh, one more thing...... CHEEERS!!!
chill baby you will get over him aite! we all here for ya..Quote:
Originally Posted by Purrzzzzzz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
It's only been a few days since you left but I miss you already! You were never well liked in our social circle, and our relationship was at times adversarial but ever since you ran off I've felt adrift and without purpose. I'll admit it now, you were important to me! Take some time for yourself and then think about coming back.
The days are long and less thought gets devoted to your memory with each passing one. Another tomorrow will come and go and the only thing that I will have left to show of your memory is another stone outside on my back porch. That alone should make me sad but I am more worried about uplifting positive traits in myself that you were never going to be good enough for in the long haul. I loved the masterpiece you had created for us but you lost faith and left while the paint was still wet.
You put on one hell of a convincing act and I applaud your performance, but it is time for me now to draw close the curtain on your stage and enter back in to the ordinary world. You may never miss what you have left behind but I know that where you are looking (outside of yourself) you will never find the happiness that you seek. I only wish I could have helped to provide that for you. Goodbye my lovely Goddess.
My mind asks me "Why did I put so much thought and devotion into you?" It wants to let go; my heart won't let you go. Why?
Thanks Tremolo, that has saved me heaps of typing :)
As much as I loved you, I was deeply unsatisfied in our relationship. As wonderful as you are, babe, you lack some of the qualities I most admire in people: passion, intensity, creativity, and self-expression. I was happiest when we were making love. The rest of the time, I was (im)patiently waiting for something more from you. I made the mistake of thinking more would follow - that once I figured out how to unlock you, all those qualities would manifest. I realize now that this was never going to happen. I realize now, too, that you never understood - perhaps never could understand - all the parts of me I wanted you to value.
Horseyguy - I'm happy to see that resonates with you. We are both going to be fine... I know we can both do way better than our exes.
I still have that DVD you were looking for lol ...
Your friend who's been trying it on with me since the day you ended it messaged me today to tell me you had told him that you "weren't bothered" if anything happened between us, and that you had completely moved on. I have no idea why he felt the need to message me this, I have not even shown remote interest in him, but him having clearly spoke to you about it and you having so clearly dismissed me as nothing has really hit home how shitty this all is, once again.
I know that I mean nothing to you anymore, I know that. And you should mean nothing to me too, no one has ever hurt me like this and I should hate you for it. But what's making me feel the worst is that even after all of this I still genuinely believe that you are my person, my "soulmate" as cheesy as that sounds. The way we met was so spontaneous, I was so inexplicably drawn to you that it cannot be that it is just nothing now. The literal electric I felt every time we kissed and every time you touched me, the butterflies and the flipping of my stomach; I have never, ever had that with anyone and before you came along no one in the world would have convinced me that those things actually happened. You had every quality I was looking for in a person and then some; you made me feel like I could achieve anything, you made me the happiest that I have ever been. I just adored you. We were so similar in so many ways, as you said we're "two for a pair/peas in a pod"... but then we were polar opposite in other ways which meant that we were always challenging each other in frustrating but wonderful ways, helping each other to grow and move forward. Everything about us just seemed to fit together - we were perfect in our imperfections. You had bad qualities, many of them and probably more than any other man I've met or had a relationship with, but you are the first and only person who I have seen all the bad qualities, seen you at your absolute worst and adored you regardless. I wanted you so much, all of you.
I can't get my head around the fact that I loved you like this, this gut wrenching and raw love, when you cannot have loved me at all. Seeing you just discount the relationship like you have done to your others before me, like I have done myself to people before you. For me this is not something that can be discounted, for me you were and are my person. The thought of anyone else still makes my skin crawl, I haven't spoken to you for so long and we've been apart for nearly 2 months but you're still all I god damn think about. My heart tells me that I won't find anyone else but my head disagrees - I'm only 19 and I have a whole lifetime stretched out ahead so I'm sure there will be other relationships. But I am almost certain that I will never feel so deeply again, I will never find someone who I believe I connect to and "fit together" with like you. It's an awful realisation when the future you imagined just crumbles before you, the person you imagined yourself with in 50 years was merely stringing you along to pass the time. You're my soulmate and everything I want but I am not yours, I am not what you want at all. This is such a devastating loss it's beyond any comprehension. I have no idea what to do to get out of this.
Yes we certainly can, I figured that out when I realised my cat is more emotionally connected to me than my ex ever was.Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Although the sex was better with the ex :)
Emmalina, you are a sweetheart. What a painful thing you have gone though. I'm so sorry for you. I feel the same way about my ex as you feel about yours. Although I don't know for certain, as you apparently do, my ex seems to have gotten over me very quickly as well - although he claimed to really love me. I know how exactly how painful that is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmalina [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I can tell by the way you write that you are an incredible, beautiful girl. Don't waste too much time worrying about this loser ex of yours. You are far too fabulous for that- and so young! You are a gem, and you need to go find someone who will treat you as such. Believe me when I tell you that you are better off without this douchebag. Now you're free for some wonderful chap to snap you up. And he will... believe me, he will. xxx
why? why did u do that? I think ur trying to get another reaction out of me.. another hysterical email perhaps? well guess what?? NOT!!! yeah, it hurt me.. badly.. just like every f*cking thing else..but this time, you wont even know that I know!! I wont say one word about it.. hope ur happy!!! hmmm... no, I really dont...
don't tell me you did a comparison with your cat dude? hahahah :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Horseyguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
you look like shit, and are a real conniving bitch, yet I can't stop thinking about you... why?
Hey ex, thanks for leaving me a breakup note after I was the best girlfriend you ever had and would have done anything for you, mad respect...
^ This one is going to do just fine, I think.
Oh Tremolo, bless you :) this has made me cry, but in such a good way - thank you so much for your kind words. I'm an emotional wreck these past 2 months but these were happy tears for once!Quote:
Originally Posted by tremolo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I can relate very much your posts here and I recognise you too from them as a beautiful, talented and strong woman; you deserve much, much better than what you've had to deal with and I am very glad that you realise that. It is clear that he has made a huge mistake letting you go, he too will realise in time but by then you will be long gone and happy in a whole life without him, it's only then that he will reflect upon this decision and regret it so greatly. I'm so sorry that you have experienced pain like this, it is absolutely gut wrenching and just awful and I would not wish it on anybody.
We both deserve much better. I don't know but I'm willing to hazard a guess that you would never have caused him the pain which he has caused you - I certainly would not have hurt my ex the way he's hurt me. Who are they to be so brutal and cold to us, two people who did and felt so much for them?
I have absolutely no doubt that you will find someone wonderful now that you are your own person again, someone who would not be so blinded as to cause such pain to such a lovely person. Thank you again for your comment!
I hope that you are well, take good care xxx
I forgot what color your eyes are.
Seriously...
It enrages me how you think I'm upset because you dumped me instead of the fact you ****ED ANOTHER MAN! Do you have any emotions at all? My god, I'm going through such an emotional trauma right now and you're "perfectly okay." I should have never put so much faith into you.
I'm glad that meant something to you Emmalina - and thank you too for your kind words. You are a such a sweetheart.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmalina [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]