Why men or women emotionally cheat?

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But you assume that people MUST argue and fight, and I can tell you for sure that is not always the case. People CHOOSE how they react.

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I disagree. All people argue and fight. They just do it in different ways. For some people they're passive aggressive. They merely will do things to get back at the person who angered them. Or maybe they are calm and rational as they fight. Or, maybe they scream and throw things.

The key piece being whether or not that is compatible with the person they are fighting with.

There are many reasons why a person may cheat. From inability to value what they have, need for revenge, to an emotionally absent spouse. Most people I know who have cheated, including myself, didn't set out to find someone else.

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Originally Posted by Lite [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I disagree. All people argue and fight.

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Uhh, nope. Sorry. At least not as a regular life style. I very rarely fight with my husband. Of course, we fought early on in the marriage, but it's extremely unusual at this point. People just THINK everyone does it. Most do, but not all, and I betcha people who maintain marriages for long periods of time have learned to be more selective about what they fight about.

I think the best insurance against emotional cheating (and the physical cheating that can follow) is to ensure that your emotional connection to your SO is maintained. It has to be fed and nurtured just like anything else. It can't just be assumed that now you're married, your emotional connection is just set in stone and will forever remain.

There's a lot of danger in growing away from your SO throughout the course of your relationship, especially if you've been together since you were young. People change a lot over the course of their lives, and it might be easy to become very distant from the people you assume are the closest.

It's become quite socially acceptable to have those close opposite-sex friends and colleagues Indi was talking about. Throw some modern-day shaky morals into the picture and it's kind of a minefield out there.

A lot of couples have to treat their relationship like a fragile orchid that needs regular attention and instead, they act like it's a kudzu vine, unkillable and to be taken for granted.