Originally Posted by
Split_interests
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Difficult situation, mate. It is one of those, "well you really shouldn't have married her in the first place" kinda deals. Lesson learned though? Now you are married and do have a kid, and in all honest if you tell your wife all this she probably will end up hating you. But I get it, you're uncertain, and you don't want to show that uncertainty because that could break your relationship. In the end though I guess that's where the honesty aspect comes in. If your wife wouldn't want to be with you once she knew you were uncertain about her, it would seem best to let her do what is best. Then after you split up you will likely be greatly pained, regret it for months heavily, and then probably get mostly over it after a year or so, because your life isn't all about her, you have enough self centeredness (not necessarily in a bad way) that she isn't the center of your world and you'll get on without her.
You kind of need to put her first here, and that might mean telling her, so she isn't caught up in a relationship without love. That said, you know your situation better than I do, and this is going to cause a shit ton of misery and drama, and maybe you're just someone who is bad at feeling committed. But when you look at what you've done wrong, really all it is was you made her believe you loved her and you don't know if you do. There are really only two ways to deal with that 1) Love her (if you can figure out how) or 2) Tell her about your uncertainty.
For 1) I would recommend counseling as well. Actually I recommend this most, as it would be you putting in an actual effort in making your marriage work, which based on what you've been saying is probably hard for you and a good habit to start.