never been in a relationship... not sure what is happening with a girl atm

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh, for Christ's sake. That's not a girl who wants to be friends. You two are doing a very complicated dance around each other, expecting the other to lead.

How frustrating for you. Clearly, there's phenomenal attraction between the two of you, but you're both completely reactionary by nature.

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erm, I dont think there is, to be honest. Physically, sure - as far as it can go anyway. I do still have essentially no sex drive so my interest there is limited and quite different to normal. Attraction in other ways? I don't know. Do I actually find her company entertaining when that other, unfortunately sexual, excitement isnt there? I don't know yet. Theres only been a handful of people in my entire life who would meet that criteria, infact. Someone that I'd go out to meet in an empty room somewhere, and know we would have an immensely fun time.

I think its always going to be a problem that she doesn't like me if I like her. That will make it impossible.

I have to think now if I want to do shit with her still. She has suggested I come to some bonfire shit on saturday night, but it would seem so weird to do so. I think its far too late to go back and try to take a different route, so ****ing around pretending to be friends might just be a bad idea.

aw man. I dont know if anyone's reading this shit any more hah but its apparently not over at all. : /

last night she invited me round to hers and we cooked/ate etc. I sat apart from her, it was fine. A while later I was sitting next to her, we were using her laptop. She kept starting to lean on me and stuff, and then sit back up. Eventually she said something like "can I at least have a 'friendly' hug?". After a minute or two of deliberation and advising against... I found myself holding her. We just sat/lay there for ages, almost falling asleep.

I stayed there, slept downstairs. In the morning we talked for a while again, quite close. We went into town etc, just left each other now while we do some seperate sports thisafternoon. Tonight we're going to a bonfire/fireworks thing.

Heh last night was a really weird dream. I like introduced her to my mum and shit. It was weird, left me feeling quite strange.

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Originally Posted by and_for_what

Heh last night was a really weird dream. I like introduced her to my mum and shit. It was weird, left me feeling quite strange.

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Oh no, you've already introduced her to your mom. Your mom is the "pussy" part of you, and she knows it quite well.

Does this girl know you have no sex drive?

Do you still have balls?

haha, oh no - I can still feel her on me. Like after youve been swimming, later you can feel the motion of the water.

So yesterday we went to that fireworks shit. She was still all like "just being friends" etc. Soon enough she was holding my hand then hanging off me. She wanted to stay over, and wanted to sleep in my bed - so we did. We didn't have sex or anything very "far". We got very little sleep though :P

About 3am or something we woke back up and this time, although I wasn't sure - I tried to kiss her. It prooved valid, and she immidiately returned it with enthusiasm. So that then became a major part of our activity for the rest of the night.

She left at about 11am to go and do work or some crap like that. I think we are going to be fairly distant at uni, absolutely not intimate - I dont want that - but I know she is more attracted when I appear disinterested.

I'm still pretty confused as to what she wants or thinks this is. But we "aren't" talking about things any more, so it's going to have to stay a mystery. She suggested that I come to her house in the Chritmas holliday some time.. so I guess it's something.

[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register] tbh

You didn't answer my question. When you were kissing her, did you pop a boner or not? If no, did she notice?

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You didn't answer my question. When you were kissing her, did you pop a boner or not? If no, did she notice?

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ofcourse I did, I was hard all night, man. I dont know if she noticed, we werent ever pressed together that way. I expect she brushed against it a few times, and I doubt she'd have been surprised to know.

Sure I have had no sex drive, and still I dont see women like a hornier guy would. I dont get spontaneous or morning erections. But when Im kissing a half-naked girl in my bed, I do still get aroused apparently.

EDIT: yes i mentioned my lack of sex drive to her, didnt talk about it much though. It isn't relevant when im with her anyway.

__

I'm going to have to get us talking again, gently. Not back to how it was at the start, but right now she wont let us talk about us at all.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You didn't answer my question. When you were kissing her, did you pop a boner or not? If no, did she notice?

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I think what you're leading to with that information isn't very true. A guy at his (our) age can pop a boner if we're being threatened with a gun so we can be raped by an obese opossum.

Just because he got a boner doesn't mean anything.

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think what you're leading to with that information isn't very true. A guy at his (our) age can pop a boner if we're being threatened with a gun so we can be raped by an obese opossum.

Just because he got a boner doesn't mean anything.

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and its irrelevant anyway, vashti. If youre just trying to find out if im physically aroused by her - yes I really really am.

How can you be physically aroused, but not have a sex drive? I don't get it.

post #95 gives some details.

I'll repeat:

I do not get morning erections or spontaneous ones, as is normal for most guys. Only physical contact or intimate situations like this generate a response. I'm never aroused by looking at girls, porn doesnt really turn me on, etc etc??

As I know ive mentioned already, also, what I feel towards/with this girl is quite different to the "horny" that I felt back in the day. Yes I want to do sexual things with her but its in a different way that I dont feel towards anyone else, because im closer to her than anyone else. And I still dont find myself interested in other girls etc.

If you're not satisfied in your understanding of it, which would be reasonable, then I can't explain any further. It is only a side issue anyway, and doesn't really affect this.

I am just thinking about how awful it would be to be involved with someone with no sex drive. Not only is sex physically pleasurable, but most women gain a certain amount of self esteem based on their ability to arouse a man. We want to be desired. You may consider this a side issue, but eventually it may well become the main event, and I can't help but wonder if your attitude is a symptom of your apparent fear of intimacy, which you seem to want to continue to embrace...

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I am just thinking about how awful it would be to be involved with someone with no sex drive. Not only is sex physically pleasurable, but most women gain a certain amount of self esteem based on their ability to arouse a man. We want to be desired. You may consider this a side issue, but eventually it may well become the main event, and I can't help but wonder if your attitude is a symptom of your apparent fear of intimacy, which you seem to want to continue to embrace...

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dude, when I said I was hard all night, I meant it. She can definately arouse me, just ****ing looking at me, infact. That isn't going to be a problem.

I kind of resent your mention of a fear of intimacy. I don't even hug my family and generally dont like to touch people, never kissed anyone etc. But in these few weeks knowing this girl I'm now (almost) entirely comfortable lying in bed with her, kissing, hands everywhere, etc. I'm not afraid of being intimate with her.

Get a therapist.

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Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Get a therapist.

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um, wtf am i doing that you think requires therapy??