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Really? You seemed pretty serious to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
The only time I noticed you had a sense of humor was when you were trying to put down shh!'s opinion.
well thats the difference between you and me....isn't it......Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah, you're stupid and I'm not. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Originally Posted by shh! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That explains it I guess. Too idealistic and not living in the real world ?
I'm sensing a lot of tension here. Maybe if you lot were in open relationships you would learn to relax more :D
If an open relationship is the only thing that will save my marriage, I'd rather divorce. The only way I'd ever consider it is if I was only keeping the marriage together for my children and once they moved out, the marriage would be over. I'd never let my wife sleep with another man in order to "reignite" our relationship. The fact that you know she's happy ONLY because she's sleeping with another man should really make you feel a little bad... that you aren't the reason she's happy now.Quote:
Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And as mentioned, this "toy" of hers should have been someone she didn't have an emotional history with. While she may not leave you for this man, I'm pretty sure I can safely assume that there IS an emotional connection between them and not just physical like you thought.
Folks go an read the posting in the introduction section titled "She wants to meet other men..."
So, what's it like having a Legal Harem? I bet the guys on here would really like to know. :DQuote:
Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Does your wife keep the rest of the women in line? Like a Chinese First Wife?
Do you phone around near the end of your workday & find out who's making the best dinner (and dessert)? ;)
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Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sorry, amigo, I'm just reading this thread, but... Are you silly? nuts? stupid? Are you sure you are a man? How come you "authorize" YOUR woman to "explore" her feelings for someone else?Quote:
Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Don't take it personal, I'll keep reading and probably write something else in a few minutes.
Bullshit. I went to sing to the celebration of a 50th wedding anniversary last Sunday, and they not only married again before a priest, but he also "kissed the bride" with an undoubtable 1-minute French kiss.Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'll never go to Europe, period.Quote:
Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
^^^^ moron
Oh, boy, this thread is too close to be disgusting.
Sands, it's not a matter of being in an open relationship to learn to relax. It is a matter of dignity. The ring you put in your wife's hand 16 years ago held a promise you should be able and especially willing to fulfil. I understand and know that many things may happen in the long path we call live, but among the few things you must never tolerate is seeing, reading or listening someone else is touching your wife.
Not to mention you will end up with HIV, chlamidia, gonorrea or any other if you tolerate it more.
On the other hand, I can see why your wife is tempted to go "explore" her "feelings" with that other guy: You are not manly enough to defend and demand what is yours: your woman.
Now I'm sure she doesn't feel as protected by her man as she was before you allowed all this; so get ready to sign either a divorce or a bastard next year.
OK, I'll go to Europe someday, but I won't fall into this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Exactly. The fact she even had the balls to say she wants to start seeing her ex shows how much you stand up to her. How can it not bother you that she is seeing not only another man, but also a man she has a past with?She has the ability to walk all over your ass. But hey, if thats what makes your marriage "work" then do you buddy. I just know if it were me, I wouldnt settle for it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think there IS a difference between America and Europe *generalising*. I've read this thread with great astonishment. It's great what the topic poster is doing in my opinion. He's giving his wife this freedom, now what's wrong what that?! You're marriage is not going too well, you're wife has some fun outside the door and all off a sudden there are new sparks in your marriage. Isn't that great?! I agree on it being physical only though, no emotional strings attached to the second person...
I'd be fine with it. There's only a few things that matter to me: he should be there for me when I need him. Not that my cat dies and he's screwing some other woman. And he shouldn't be away 24/7 and also not talk too much about it. But apart from that...
One of my friends is in an open relationship, but in a different kind... If he's away for a seminar or anything, they've agreed he's allowed to do what he likes, while she does the exact same in their bed. And they're getting along so very well. I think it's fine, as long as you can handle it and are honest about it.
But hey, I'm from Amsterdam.
Sodom and Gomorra all over here eh.
I need to move to Amsterdam and get away from all the puritans.
So you'd be fine with your woman ****ing other men?Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I didn't read all of the replies, so I will reply to the original post.Quote:
Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you are interested in my opinion, the way I see it an "Open relationship" in a marriage is a divorce. The moment you go down that path that's it, your marriage is over. You might as well move out and formalize the visiting arrangements for the kids. The devotion and love that holds the monogomous relationship together breaks down with an open relationship and there is no more going back after that.
I'm sorry to hear about your wive's feelings. These I gather are not happy news for you. I understand that you are in a damage control mode at the moment. If you are interested to hear what I would do in such a situation, if my (future) wife asked me if we can have an open relationship. My answer would be "Ofcourse". Relationship is not a prison, anyone is free to leave at any point in time. I would give her papers to sign and then we would enjoy an open relationship (until I find someone with a bit more devotion and a bit more serious approach towards married life at which point our open relationship would end).
Mish - you should have read his posts. The original poster doesn't have a problem with this situation.
So long as she's got discerning tastes, yes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Originally Posted by Henry123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So what does that has to do with my post?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So you base your conclusion on a single case?
Now thats Bull... That cant even register as a statistic.
(note: I said "alot of people..." I did say "ALL" people.)
You think that's the only case where people remain in love? Stop basing your opinion off of unhappy couples. More and more people get married for the wrong reasons, so of course they'll be unhappy when they're older.Quote:
Originally Posted by Henry123 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
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Originally Posted by sands [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So you insult the person (sands) because he doesnt fit your religious moral standards and then tell him "not to take it personally"?!?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tedel [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Half of all marriages end in divorce. How many miserable marriages are dragged out for the sake of religion, children or to save face? It's a terrible system. It doesn't work. Have fun ****ing up your life like countless others before you and countless more after you.
Nope. Why would I?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Its not an opinion. Theres good statiscal evidence.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Why state the obvious???Quote:
Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
my bf says the same thing gerbil does. he says he wouldn't care if i ****ed some other guy and i can do whatever i want, as long as we don't lose our friendship or closeness that we have.
but he's a liar. he would not like it and i know it.
Want to test that theory?Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thanks Gribble.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thats my point.
The reason today's marriages don't work is due to unreasonable expectations. Or cluelessness (or both). Young couples, esp women I think, have been screwed by soap operas, movies & shows like "sex and the city". Life isn't like any of that.
I'm pretty sure *most* of us are saying that, if the relationship is honest, and the reason for going outside the marriage isn't to avoid dealing with problems in the marriage, then an outside sexual experience might be okay. It depends on the ppl involved & their attitudes & maturity.
But based on what I've read, most 'open' relationships don't fall into this category. Most are just excuses to go outside the relationship to get unfulfilled needs met. In this sense, I think Mish is totally right & that its a path to divorce, for most.
Sands, I hope you haven't got your head stuck in it. That's all I will say. If not, enjoy, if so, good luck.
Hey, tekkie guys, I need help with a problem. See the General Forum thread, please help if you can. Thanks. (sorry todigress, just seems like everyone is in this thread).
To add.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Its also because divorce is more acceptible in society now. Befor it was unheard of (or was consider scandalous) by society standards.
Man, it's amazing but I've basically said the same thing, almost word for word to this chick that asked me that.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Stupid people watch TV and don't realize what true long term relationships entail. Like every day you're suppose to be filled with intense passion for your lover. Give me a ****ing break.
I think Henry is right. People DO change and grow over time, and only the lucky ones grow in the same direction. Shit happens.
EDIT: Darn it kene! Now my post is out of order and makes no sense. :D
I know both my parents have obvious crushes on outside parties, though they'd hotly deny it. My dad on the women that runs the Thai restaurant, and my mum on her Lebanese, thirty year old chiropractor.
After 27 years' marriage I can't imagine it'd do much harm if they both agreed to indulge in simultaneous flings.
Thanks Shh!Quote:
Originally Posted by shh! [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yeah stuff happens. People pick up different ideals in life. People have different & new experiences with life. I dont think any of us were the same now as when we were teenagers. I think our values, priorities and needs changes as well. Our view of things changes as well.
I agree the lucky ones grow in the same direction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What? You mean your parents might actually still be interested in SEX?
Voice of reason as always, though I think that sex out side the marriage is always wrong. I think it misses the point of marriage.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Haha what a lying cock sucker.Quote:
Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you want to be able to have flings while in a relationship, why get married?
^^Exactly. There is no point in the marriage if you feel you deserve the right to have flings after a certain amount of years.
What is the point of marriage? Who gets to define it? Who decides what counts and what doesn't?