Second Date Ideas

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, I honestly never thought I'd be updating this thread. She contacted me earlier in the week. Haven't spoken to her in about 2 months. She IMed me when I was online on facebook. We had an awkward conversation. And eventually I was just like screw it, I've been beating self up about what happened and what I did for two months now. So I just said, "I'm going to be blunt, why did we stop talking." Long story short she claims that some guy that goes to my school, who she did not know, came up to her and asked her if she was "that girl that goes on dates wasted" and she claimed that I had told someone that. I didn't and repeatedly told her that until she said that she believed me. Now, the reason she said this is because she and I went out after she had been at the Renaissance Festival and had been drinking there throughout the day. She was definitely not wasted. My thinking is that she was embarassed by that and felt like I cared and felt too embarassed to talk to me anymore. Fact of the matter is that I couldn't care less if she had been drinking earlier in the day. So, I left her with this, "look, if you want to give us another shot, give me a call and maybe we can hang out this weekend." So, the ball is in her court now and honestly, I couldn't care less if she contacted me. I don't know if I would actually want to put up with her immature BS anymore. I'm just happy to know that it wasn't anything that I did or didn't do.

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That's a darn good thing you did

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Originally Posted by UKboy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

That's a darn good thing you did

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What do you mean exactly?

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

What do you mean exactly?

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everything. It seems like you handled that perfectly :)

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I couldn't care less if she contacted me. I don't know if I would actually want to put up with her immature BS anymore. I'm just happy to know that it wasn't anything that I did or didn't do.

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Of course you do...why the heck would you posting this then? Your post reeks of emotion.

I feel for you though mate, that's got to stink. To be honest I think she's full of bs and making up the story of you talking about her drinking to get out of telling you the truth that she was just playing games.

She's young, immature, and stupid. Don't waste your time. I personally wouldn't have even bothered telling her if she wanted to give it another try she could call you.

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Originally Posted by 1averagejoe [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Of course you do...why the heck would you posting this then? Your post reeks of emotion.

I feel for you though mate, that's got to stink. To be honest I think she's full of bs and making up the story of you talking about her drinking to get out of telling you the truth that she was just playing games.

She's young, immature, and stupid. Don't waste your time. I personally wouldn't have even bothered telling her if she wanted to give it another try she could call you.

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To be honest, giving it another shot really went through my mind. But after talking and taking sometime to reflect, I realized that it wasn't worth it. I posted this as basically the final chapter to the story, moreso for myself than for anybody else. I had never really moved on, I always kinda wondered what happened and now I have closure with it all. And yeah, I'm sure she's full of shit with that story, but that's what I needed to hear that she's not worth it. But, the good thing is that I'm officially over it. And tonight, I'm going to be watching the Superbowl at a buddy's house with a couple of girls, one of which I'm kinda interested in. So we'll just see how that goes.

So, she contacted me again last week. This time the conversation was actually pretty nice and fun. We chatted on facebook again for 30 minutes or so. To me, and others that I've spoken to, it's pretty obvious if she's interested if she's the one contacting me. I thought a little bit more about why things ended between us. And I feel like it was a mix of me not being forward enough with conveying my true emotions and her being embarrassed by her actions (showing up on the date tired and falling asleep, which of course, I didn't mind and found super cute).

So I've decided to possibly give her a second chance. I'm planning on calling her tomorrow night and seeing if she'd like to get together on Saturday to go to dinner and perhaps walk around the mall, go see a movie or something like that.

Thoughts, suggestions, whatever. Feel free to respond. Thanks.

Comment on which part, Greek?

When she blew you off in December by standing you up?

When she blew you off in January when she promised to call you back but never did? ("look, if you want to give us another shot, give me a call and maybe we can hang out this weekend.")

By my count, it's a THIRD chance at this point.

I think there's something going on in the background that you aren't aware of. Her behavior reeks of her using you as a fall back to something ... perhaps an off-again, on-again ex boyfriend?

If you want to give her a third chance, that is of course your choice. If you do (I think you are foolish to by the way) at least tell her in no uncertain terms that one more act of flakiness, and you are history! You can't allow her to get away with dropping off the planet for a month for whatever reason, and then calling you.

As for blaming yourself ("And I feel like it was a mix of me not being forward enough with conveying my true emotions") ... you were appropriately forward conveying your interest, even elegant and extraordinarily mature. So stop it!!!!

Carl.

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Comment on which part, Greek?

When she blew you off in December by standing you up?

When she blew you off in January when she promised to call you back but never did? ("look, if you want to give us another shot, give me a call and maybe we can hang out this weekend.")

By my count, it's a THIRD chance at this point.

I think there's something going on in the background that you aren't aware of. Her behavior reeks of her using you as a fall back to something ... perhaps an off-again, on-again ex boyfriend?

If you want to give her a third chance, that is of course your choice. If you do (I think you are foolish to by the way) at least tell her in no uncertain terms that one more act of flakiness, and you are history! You can't allow her to get away with dropping off the planet for a month for whatever reason, and then calling you.

As for blaming yourself ("And I feel like it was a mix of me not being forward enough with conveying my true emotions") ... you were appropriately forward conveying your interest, even elegant and extraordinarily mature. So stop it!!!!

Carl.

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You could be right about there being something going on in the background that I don't know about. As for the message in January, I don't know if she actually got it since she signed off immediately after I sent it. What I meant by not conveying my emotions is that I never kissed her when I had the opportunity to and looking back on it, I should have. So I think that combined with her possible embarrassment, could've been the cause for the split.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You could be right about there being something going on in the background that I don't know about. As for the message in January, I don't know if she actually got it since she signed off immediately after I sent it. What I meant by not conveying my emotions is that I never kissed her when I had the opportunity to and looking back on it, I should have. So I think that combined with her possible embarrassment, could've been the cause for the split.

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OK, that lamely explains December, Greek ... what about January 9th????

Carl.

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

OK, that lamely explains December, Greek ... what about January 9th????

Carl.

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She may or may not have gotten that message. Plus, if she did get it, maybe it got her thinkng about the possibility of us giving it another shot, thus the conversation a week ago.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She may or may not have gotten that message. Plus, if she did get it, maybe it got her thinkng about the possibility of us giving it another shot, this the conversation a week ago.

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Sorry, I got the dates wrong ... she contacted you the last week of January, not the week of the 9th. Even if she didn't get the message, I think your feelings are clouding the real issue. She seems to feel free to invite you back into her life whenever she pleases.

You were really, really good to her and she essentially dumped you in December without even talking about it with you. Why is SHE the "prize" and not YOU?? You never did anything to her!

At this point, I wouln't ask her out at all. Rebuild the friendship, and maybe by the end of March, honor her with a date.

Carl.

Why not? Just don't get too attached and if you get sick of the flakiness break up with her. That's how I handled things with Tamie and it all worked out pretty good. Just view it as a really temporary thing.

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Originally Posted by Charlie Boy II [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why not? Just don't get too attached and if you get sick of the flakiness break up with her. That's how I handled things with Tamie and it all worked out pretty good. Just view it as a really temporary thing.

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That's pretty risky, Charlie. If Greek weren't already somewhat attached, he wouldn't even be talking with her any more.

Carl.

yeah but risky in what sense? What is he actually risking? A little bit of heartache - so what? You're supposed to go through stuff like that when you're young. You're supposed to learn things the hard way. It's all just a bit of fun, the whole drama of it.

I dunno...normally I'd agree with CB and say ask her out again. But this girl hasn't just been flaky, she's also played weird games with Greek.

The whole story about her hearing something he supposedly said about her being drunk just smells funny to me. If she was pissed off over this supposed gossip, why not confront him about it? Why drop him without explanation? It's strange.

I agree with Carl. I think there's another guy in the picture and Greek is her fall guy. I don't know if this girl seems like she's worth the drama. There are red flags all over the place with this kind of behavior.

Just a little update, she messaged me again tonight and we are currently having a nice little music convo. Again, she contacted me for the third time now.

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Originally Posted by starbuck [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If she was pissed off over this supposed gossip, why not confront him about it? Why drop him without explanation? It's strange.

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I think it's a sign of immaturity. Bear in mind, this girl is a sophomore in high school.

Oh lord. She's a sophmore in high school? She probably just had her phone taken away because she was being bratty to her parents. I wouldn't personalize anything that goes on with a girl that age. Ifyou want to try to date her again, then go on. Charlieboy is right - this is all par for the course with 15-16 year olds. Just try to lighten up about the intensity - you shouldn't take it all so seriously at this age.

Yeah, she's two grades below me but only a little over a year under me. That's why I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Last night we had a long conversation mostly about music and she mentioned how she wanted to see The Expendables on March 3 but her friend bailed on her. Obviously this was a hint to me, so what do you think is my best approach to asking her/offering to take her?

Just say "I'll take you; I've been meaning to ask you on a proper date, anyway."

Yeah, I should've said that haha. I guess now I could call her sometime this weekend and if she doesn't bring it up, I will. And then I'll just ask her. There's no sense in making a big thing out of it.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yeah, I should've said that haha. I guess now I could call her sometime this weekend and if she doesn't bring it up, I will. And then I'll just ask her. There's no sense in making a big thing out of it.

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Just make sure you have a friend to go with or someone who will buy the tickets just in case she stands you up at the last minute.

Carl.

Yeah I do, but I'm not anticipating that. She's more excited to go to this concert than me. She loves the band. I think they're alright. I'm just going along to be with her.

i think it might be good to string her along a bit more.

That's kinda what I was thinking. Make her keep chasing me a little. She's contacted me three times now, without me contacting her once since November. I may give her a call sometime closer to the concert.

I called her tonight. We chatted for about 5-10 minutes. I invited her to go the Boardwalk with me on Friday. She said she was busy on Friday, but then asked if Saturday would work. I said that would be fine after my school's basketball game, so we'll be going there after the game around 10 or 10:30.

The conversation went well, it was lighthearted and playful and I had her laughing most of the time. This should be fun.

You know one thing I really admire about you, Greek? At your young age, you take abuse from these flakey high school girls without losing a bit of your optimism or becoming cynical. It's like you know that what you are doing is right so you stay the course and keep trying, knowing full well that the problem is her, not you.

Bravo.

Carl

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know one thing I really admire about you, Greek? At your young age, you take abuse from these flakey high school girls without losing a bit of your optimism or becoming cynical. It's like you know that what you are doing is right so you stay the course and keep trying, knowing full well that the problem is her, not you.

Bravo.

Carl

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Thanks Carl. But you know, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not going to try and stick around if she starts to play games. I'm giving her a second chance, not the other way around. I just need to remember to be confident. So what if I do lose her, I'd be no worse off than I am right now.

But I will say that I don't think I've been "abused." Toyed with, sure. Not abused. And the thing that really keeps me optimistic is knowing that most of this immature bullshit will come to pass as I begin to move on with life, especially past high school.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Thanks Carl. But you know, full me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not going to try and stick around if she starts to play games. I'm giving her a second chance, not the other way around. I just need to remember to be confident. So what if I do lose her, I'd be no worse off than I am right now.

But I will say that I don't think I've been "abused." Toyed with, sure. Not abused. And the thing that really keeps me optimistic is knowing that most of this immature bullshit will come to pass as I begin to move on with life, especially past high school.

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Amen to that, Greek!

Well, tonight's the night. I have a basketball game at my school and after that I'm going to pick her up at about 10ish and we'll go grab a late dinner and then after that I'm guessing we'll go rent a movie and go back to either my place or hers.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, tonight's the night. I have a basketball game at my school and after that I'm going to pick her up at about 10ish and we'll go grab a late dinner and then after that I'm guessing we'll go rent a movie and go back to either my place or hers.

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Have fun! :)

So here's how it played out. Picked her up at like 9:50 and we went to grab some fajitas at a Escalante's. Went back to her house and watched a movie. Cuddled up. We watch the movie a little bit and then the next thing I know she's kissing me. So I position my self on top and we start making out for about a minute and then she kinda pulls back.

At this point she says, how many girls have you hooked up with? And I say, "One." And she says, "when was this?" And I reply, "about 10 seconds ago." And then she says, "oh, everything makes so much sense now." Long story short, she wondered why I had never made a move on her and thought that I didn't like her. Who knows why she even contacted me again. So, basically, I was like, "so you're pretty much saying that I don't know what I'm doing." And I said it in a jokingly matter. And she was like, "well, I don't want to be a bitch but..." So I said, well then how about you teach me.

So we make out again for like 2 minutes and she pulls back again. So yeah, I made out with her, but had absolutely no idea what I was doing and it's safe to assume I'm a bad kisser. Shortly thereafter I left, at about 1AM because her dad was coming to pick her up from her house (parents are divorced) so I left. She walked me to the door and gave me a hug. In my head I was thinking, "so you just initiated this little makeout session and now just a hug?" So I said to her, "that's it?" and then she gives me a quick peck. At this point, I could tell we are probably not going to hang out again. If we do, fine, if not, **** it. So I said to her, "are we gonna hang out again?" And she says, "I dunno, just call me." So I'm definitely taking that as a no.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not upset or disappointed. I'm actually glad it happened. At least I'm 17 and I've kissed a girl so that's good. And I got some experience out of the whole deal. So if anyone has any tips/comments/suggestions, it'd be greatly appreciated.

You're not a shy guy, Greek ... why don't you just ask her? If there's something wrong with your kissing, she is in the best position to let you know what it is.

Carl.

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Originally Posted by carl1222 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You're not a shy guy, Greek ... why don't you just ask her? If there's something wrong with your kissing, she is in the best position to let you know what it is.

Carl.

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Now that I think about and talking to some friends, I realize it was not me, and it was her. Sure, I lack experience, but I had an idea what I was doing and she kinda didn't beat around the bush and take it slow, she just went straight to making out right away. Like tongue and everything within like seconds of starting the kiss. It was just kinda awkward. Plus, as I was leaving, she only gave me a hug and I was like that's it, and so she gave me a quick peck. I really don't see us hanging out again. She's definitely not my type and she's just too immature. The way I see it is that I got some experience, despite how good or bad it was haha.

Well, I guess everyone has to learn the hard way. You might try asking her what exactly was wrong with your kiss... it will be helpful to know in the future.

Cheers to you for keeping your head up high! Dating is a learning experience, and it sounds like you know that.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, I guess everyone has to learn the hard way. You might try asking her what exactly was wrong with your kiss... it will be helpful to know in the future.

Cheers to you for keeping your head up high! Dating is a learning experience, and it sounds like you know that.

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Thanks vashti, I've been talking to some close friends of mine and when I relay the story, they all say that I did nothing wrong. I'm not really sweating it and I'm just glad the weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm no longer a "bat boy" haha.

good job dude! You've got a lot more maturity than a lot of people your age.

Oh, that was so sweet when you said "ten seconds ago". The only thing I would criticize at all is that you didn't kiss her at the end, just a nice, soft kiss right on the lips instead of the peck thing.

Hope you get another chance.

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Originally Posted by TheGreek [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Now that I think about and talking to some friends, I realize it was not me, and it was her. Sure, I lack experience, but I had an idea what I was doing and she kinda didn't beat around the bush and take it slow, she just went straight to making out right away. Like tongue and everything within like seconds of starting the kiss. It was just kinda awkward. Plus, as I was leaving, she only gave me a hug and I was like that's it, and so she gave me a quick peck. I really don't see us hanging out again. She's definitely not my type and she's just too immature. The way I see it is that I got some experience, despite how good or bad it was haha.

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I guess she figured that because you gave her a normal first kiss, the boobie grab and your hand down her pants that she wanted wasn't going to happen, so she got all disappointed. From what I get from reading your posts is that you are looking for a good girlfriend, not an easy lay. So I would summarize this as a "compatibility" problem. :)

Carl.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that I don't see anything wrong with her going with a deep kiss involving tongue. You're a beginner with no experience but that isn't her problem. She likely assumed that you have at least kissed a girl before.

Not all girls want to be the teacher. And that doesn't make them a slut, Carl.

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Originally Posted by Cain [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say that I don't see anything wrong with her going with a deep kiss involving tongue. You're a beginner with no experience but that isn't her problem. She likely assumed that you have at least kissed a girl before.

Not all girls want to be the teacher. And that doesn't make them a slut, Carl.

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Hahaha Cain, true. Either you or I may equally be right.

Did you see that movie (Devil's Advocate)? Other than the legal interest, I like any movie where Charlize Theron is naked! :)

Carl.