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You know yourself the best, but you don't come across as being "like him" in your everyday posts. You sound naive and shy. To me: OP sounds much more then that, for lack of a better way of describing the vibe I'm getting from him. (????)Quote:
Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Have you learned anything from this thread then, YAG?
Shrug. Be shocked. Standards are declining b/c of people with your attitude. Unrealistic expectations is one of the reasons we have riots in place like London. Those teenagers all think an awful lot of themselves and with no accomplishments to back up their attitude. The other is that overachieving assholes who actually aren't that smart are allowed to take positions of power in areas like handling global financial systems. Noone challenges these idiots b/c people think they have a "right" to do what they do. Middle managers, bureaucrats, its all part of the same problem. The 50% who should never have gone to university and should have learned a trade or gone to college instead. Probably would have been a lot happier too. I interact with these kinds of people and they are miserable when the smarter, better people make them feel inadequate. The reason for unions, btw, to protect these mediocre sorts.Quote:
Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Anyway, some of us need to get to work. ;)
This I have no problem with.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I do think it hurts us not in the least to refrain from using the word "retard" as a pejorative - and again, I'm guilty of doing the same thing. Many retarded people are high-functioning enough to know what you're saying, the operative word here being people. It's no more right than calling somebody who's had a double amputation of their legs "stumpy", but we assume because they're not as bright that they don't understand. Sometimes they do.
The earth is full... Go home.
That retarded kid from "Life goes on" probably got more pussy then I have.. so hes obviously doing something right. lol
Probably nothing new since I've gained some practical experience lately.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But I do see myself of a year ago in him. To some extent.
There is absolutely no problem with saying that wake up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I never said people are created equal. I know very well that life is not fair and isn't supposed to be.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What has gotten to me about your posts is you seem to be implying that putting energy and attention into people with disabilities so they can reach their potential is a waste of time and effort. You stated that there are people more suited to the job without the intensive training. Do you then consider it unfair that my son is in a class of 7 with a teacher and an aide to help them while the average child is in a class of 22 with 1 teacher? Please clarify this for me, because I'd hate to start disliking you over this.
And yes, I was having a super sensitive day yesterday and definitely took your comments personally. Once you have a child with a disability, you see the potential in all peoples with disabilities. That doesn't mean I think we should have someone with down syndrome should be the next prime minister, I can be realistic. I guess I just wonder where your line is for helping these kids out. You said you see people in uni getting extra help while the good students get nothing, so when should we cut off helping people out? Uni? High school? Primary? Do we just not educate those that are difficult to educate?
PS not that anyone is likely to care but part of my super sensitivity yesterday came from the fact that I had been told my son is being bullied on the bus and both the school and the bus company is saying it's the others responsibility to do something about it. In an ideal world I would have been able to detach from my emotions before responding here, but this is the biggest blow I have taken since coming off anti depressants and it enraged me. I literally saw red for a good portion of yesterday.
^^^^ this!Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Jeez how did I miss this...?Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sorry, Indi, didn't notice this before I wrote my last rant. please disregard some of my last rant.
Don't apologize, Minx. It was an interesting exchange. I'm curious about the 'some' part now, tho. LOL.
I love a good discussion.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Stephen Hawking is a good example of my thinking. He can do math. Its a good fit for him. The bar wasn't set any lower for him, he would blow away 99% of the undergrad math population taking the same exam. Man wasn't going to have a good career as a surgeon or a fireman, tho.
But what if he was bad at math? Well, then he probably would have made an excellent department store greeter. Or towel rack. LOL.
Oh the some is in regards to everything but the parts where I explained how super sensitive I am.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Just so you know, none of the ideas expressed here at LoveForum are actually mine. They are told to me by Osserix and Petula, the 7.36 inch tall space aliens who live under my desk (they crashed there 6 years ago and have been trying to find spaceship parts ever since). In return for their clever ideas, I have told them they may eat all the dust bunnies they find under there.
lol :D cute!
I'm assuming that "Osserix" and "Petula" is as closely as you can approximate the noises they make when they refer to themselves?Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yes! In fact Osserix is the noise s/he/it makes when trying to uncover the dust bunnies. Petula is a bit gross... and slobbery. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Jesus, the last three pages of this thread of this thread are completely useless. Using the term "retard" will be taken by nearly everyone as perjorative and will be offensive at best. Discussion complete. Let the thread die unless there is anything left to say about the thread topic.
You weren't paying attention to anything we said anyhow.
Ever think I was just asking clarification on some things? For everything else, what do you expect? How many times did someone say to do things that I've already said explicitly I hate or are not natural to me?
I asked plenty of questions that nobody ever answered. Perhaps it is because you don't have answers to them? For example, nobody ever answered how asking a girl to have coffee/tea/alcohol with you when you don't drink those drinks is supposed to work. Are you going to sit there and gag on a nasty drink while trying to be cool talking to her? Or are you going to sit there like a chump and say "Oh, well I don't really drink coffee/tea/alcohol, but I invited you to have one because I couldn't think about anything else."?
^^^ Well she might like coffee. When they say coffee, its not wholly and soley limited to coffee.You should get use to making comprimises, life is full of them. So from what I can tell by your thread,your looking to date women yes? Not just friends? Can I ask how old you are?
O.P Do you know what zorbing is?
Holy Crap! You really are a retard! Or whatever the politically correct term is these days. Its not about you or what youre drinking...its about getting to know this girl and getting in her pants.... winning her love...whatever you want from a relationship. Drink a ****ing glass of water dude if you dont like coffee! Its doesnt matter....all that matters is her. Jeesh!Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I do or have alot of things that aren't natural to me. I could give a Flyin Fuuck about white 1000 count cotton sheets.....but the ladies love it! Make sense?
Dude, just ask her if she needs someone to walk her through the alley by herself at night.. tell her you have a knife..
The best advice I give you...
Grow some balls and stop overthinking every little detail. You can not plan everything. Just go with the flow, don't think too much, and have fun.
Edit: Also, asking for a cup of coffee tends to mean you simply want to talk to her while having a drink. This can be actual coffee, or anything else she likes. I doubt she'll be expecting she can only have coffee.
rafterman: Yes, dating women. No, I could care less about just making "female friends". I'm 23, why? Let me guess, I sound like I'm totally inexperienced and clueless right? If that is what you're thinking, you're probably right. I'd say there is a pretty good chance that is a result of having every woman since age 15 turn me down (with the exception of two, one who wanted a rebound, and the other who I acted like a dumbass with the second time we hung out). To be honest, I can't really think why I'm having problems. I'm athletic, muscular, fairly intelligent, at least decently attractive, usually have no problem at all approaching women and talking to them (even if they're total strangers), etc. Only thing going against me that I know of is that I'm 5'4". It isn't like women know I'm almost 100% clueless when it comes to dates and such when I ask them out, so I don't know what the deal is. Perhaps I always go for a certain type of girl that isn't really compatible with me, who knows.
Ric: Yes, I tend to overthink things. What I was asking is if you would look bad if you asked a girl to grab a drink (or something, not necessarily alcohol) and you just sat there with a cup of water. I never thought that if I asked her for a coffee she would think she couldn't have anything else.
Say you ask her to grab a drink with you. Would you suppose it may be a good idea to say something like: "I don't really drink name_of_drink. What kind do you like?" or "... Do you mind if I try some of yours?"
- hand slapping forehead -
Op: You are totally incapable of making any kind of spontanious move whatsoever. Are you developmentally impaired? Socially handicapped in some way or are you just a TROLL.
I am not going to read the entire thread...I'm sure some of this stuff has already been attempted to be taken care of...but...
1) Rather than asking for *her* phone number, why don't you just give *her* yours? This would solve the issue if she were working. If she doesn't call, then on to the next one you go. Also it would eliminate any discomfort if she wasn't into you. You don't have to hide your interest in her. She will probably think 'this guy is interested in me, cool...yay for my self-esteem!!!' rather than 'what kind of scheme is that guy pulling? What a no-good rotten pick-up artist!' It's not like she is going to yell at you for finding her interesting and attractive.
2) Rather than coming up with something so specific "We can go to the coffee shop...you can get coffee and I will get something else...then we can talk about this, you can say this, I can respond with this...blah, blah, blah" How about 'Here is my number, if you'd like to hang out and chat some more sometime, give me a call!" Let her decide what to do if you can't think of anything. If she wants to walk around, and shop for her feminine products, who cares if you don't like it? The key goal here is to spend more time with the girl. I do agree with you...I'd feel weird if I said 'let's get coffee' and then told her while sitting there that I didn't like coffee. She'd probably wonder why the hell you suggested something that didn't appeal to you. Talk to her on the phone first, find out what she is interested in, she'll find what you are interested in and you will find something to do! Guaranteed!
Don't overthink it, geez!
Evo1114:
1) Well, some women actually seem to act annoyed that they get hit on. Personally I think that is a really bitchy attitude to have, but apparently it happens to some so often it does get annoying. Just a while ago I was reading something where a woman was saying she hated it when guys tried to talk to her at the gym. Maybe she is just weird, who knows. Anyway, yeah, I have ended up giving a girl my phone number before a few times. Hasn't worked yet, but I guess I can try it again if I get another opportunity.
2) Dear god, thank you. This is probably the best suggestion I've heard. "If she wants to walk around, and shop for her feminine products, who cares if you don't like it?" I know this is an exaggerated example and everything, but aren't there certain activities you should not do to avoid coming off as a wuss/pushover?
I meet women at the gym, in class, at the grocery store, at restaurants and can start a conversation with them but can't ever get them to agree on dates or even just simple casual things like lunch. It's like they won't even give me a chance unless I already know them fairly well. However, how the heck am I supposed to get to know them well enough for them to be comfortable with me if I meet them at one of those places (other than class). There is no guarantee I will ever see them again if I meet them at the gym, etc. Also, university courses aren't great places to meet people anyway, you aren't even supposed to talk during them! Are you going to try to bump into a girl before or after class all the time?
There was one cashier who I actually talked to like 10 or 15 times a couple years ago and she was friendly with me and everything and right when I decided I was going to ask her she had quit the job. Saw her probably 6 months or more later and at a restaurant working and she was still friendly and somehow ended up telling me she was married. So, this year I only waited 5 times before asking out this cashier I thought was attractive. She acted startled like I was a complete stranger that had never talked to her before! What was I supposed to do, try and talk to her 5 more times before that would have been ok? I only see her once every 2 weeks or so! It is all a catch 22. They want to know you before they feel comfortable going out, even for something simple like lunch, but the whole point of doing something simple like lunch is to get to know them!
I don't meet girls anywhere else. Most of my classes are technology related and there may be one attractive girl in a class about every 2 or 3 classes or so. I live off campus and I'm actually old enough to have graduated by now if I had done the 4 year plan. So now half the girls I meet in college are out of my age range (I can't find girls more than 2 years younger than me attractive due to my sister being about that age). Plus, I'm not a partyer and even if I was, I'm apparently out of the loop because I never hear about any of them. None of my hobbies are conducive to meeting girls (why I'm talking about trying to meet them in normal places). I don't have time to join clubs and my job isn't the best place to meet girls. Any girls that do come in are there to do homework or study (study hall). I don't have to join a frat and frankly I wouldn't because I can't stand those type of people generally.
I am so pissed off I don't know what to do.
Take her to an oxygen bar. I'm pretty sure you breathe oxygen.Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Anything else? You seem rather set in your ways. This is going to be more of a problem for you than asking a girl on a date, I think. If you can't find a way to flex your thinking you'll be dumped faster than last months garbage.
IndiReloaded: You're right, that probably is a problem. If I have to do a whole bunch of activities I dislike just to be around a girl I may happen to like doesn't that almost defeat the purpose? I'm not talking about refusing to try out new things, I'm talking about activities that I for sure cannot stand (hiking, leisurely walks, shopping, etc.)
1) Yep. It isn't always going to work. In fact, it probably will not work more often than not. It is preferred to ask for her number, but I agree, it is a little uncomfortable for somebody whose job is to be friendly/make you feel comfortable.Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
2) Nope, can't think of anything. Just see what she is interested in. Not all her interests are going to be things you think are crap..some of which you might want to try if you haven't. I have a lot of interests that are widely considered to be 'wussy'. Gardening, classical music, theater, even ballet. I have never got a reaction of 'oh my god! You are such a wuss! Get away from me!' I would tell them 'I'm cultured' if I ever felt like I was being given a strange look. If you are with somebody for a long time, you are definitely, 100%, always going to do something you don't like and the same goes for her. However, I should say, I've never done anything too outlandish on a first date. If it is up to me, I normally stick to the old-tried-and-true...lunch, movie, dinner, concert, and/or drinks...and then back to her place, onto her couch, and eventually into her bed. It all depends where you live too. I have very little options where I live, but if you live in or even closer to a metropolitan area, you've got it made.
Wow! Just Wow!!
Shopping blows...though certain places can be pretty cool...like antique stores. I HATE MALLS. Worst places on earth, so when I get stuck going to a mall, it is hard at first to hide my discontent. As long as she is somewhat conscious to the world around her and is still communicating with you, you can still make it fun by ripping on all the losers that are walking around the mall. I normally wind up rambling on and on about what we're doing AFTER the mall to try and get them out of their trance. But if you stick it out....brownie points!!Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I live in a college town, but like I've said, I don't seem to be able to meet girls and stay in contact long enough for them to be comfortable with me (or maybe they just aren't attracted to begin with, who knows. It would be interesting to find out for sure.) I don't know if you say this part of not since I added it later (the big block of text below #1 and #2)
You might as well knock on random doors if you can't deal with a coffee scenario.
Lol....that's actually great advice for this guy!Quote:
Originally Posted by Dank [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Dank: a user just a few posts up agreed with me that asking to have coffee and then saying you didn't like it would make you look like a fool.
surfhb: It is quite obvious I don't have any experience with this, you don't have to beat it into the ground. I have a suggestion: quit posting here because you're doing nothing but pissing me off.
Good! Im glad to piss you off. Maybe you'll learn something from all the great advice weve given you.Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by richardwordoff [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Great! Here's another gem of yours! Why would you think a class full of beautiful women would have no interest in maybe finding a study partner, for example? Dude.....you automatically have something in common with every girl in each one of your classes....every sememster! Youre missing the obvious here and chicks are picking up on this when you talk to them. Thats why you cant find a girl.
You took him too literally, ffs. You can ask her to a coffee shop.. Like "Lets meet at Starbucks" and you could order an ice tea or a juice. duh.Quote:
a user just a few posts up agreed with me that asking to have coffee and then saying you didn't like it would make you look like a fool.
Take her to your troll bridge and spend the day quizzing people before you let them pass over.