Questioning morals if you had sex with engaged/married person.

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I thought some of the comparisons to other activity were pretty harsh.

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Haxan you are wonderfully balanced and liberal. They were harsh comparisons. Some were just stupid. I agree w/Stung about consentual acts vs. not, that's a big difference.

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

OP does sound like a douche, and probably is, it's not always the crime of the century. Maybe a different set of circumstances with different people. Could he/she/both have gotten caught up in the heat of the moment? A lover that they had particularly intense chemistry with seated inches away, aching to be taken, asking. Perhaps one or both of them hoping that it would change things between them? The last chance to make it work and leave the others behind. I could see it happening. We're human, right?

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Agree again. Its more Stungs position I take issue with. Noone is immune from a mistake in a moment of passion, I think. But most of us don't try to justify it after. Stung even made this point briefly when he asked about the 'enabler having feelings for the cheater' or something like. But that's a different choice. Someone who says "I love... I don't care" is different from "I fvck... I don't care".

Now, if someone doesn't challenge me on *that* statement, I'll be disappointed. ;)

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If a girl I was serious with told me that in her past she had a moment of weakness. That she slept with an ex who had gotten engaged, hoping that it would change things, but didn't. That alone would not make me question her morals or integrity. Like I said before, I'd admire the fact that she was open with me about her life. Nobody is perfect.

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Again, agreed. :) It might make me question her judgement, tho. An engaged ex, happy to have one last fling on *his* fiancee? Not a stellar choice of partner there either. We tell those posters to be happy they dodged that bullet. ;)

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Is there a right way? :lol:

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That's a good question. I think it really depends on the desired outcome of the people involved. In the case of the OP's ex-flame, I'd guess the desired outcome was a long, happy marriage (for her). So yes, there was a 'right way' that probably didn't involve once more for old times sake. Time will tell.

I suppose if the OP's desired outcome was to get them to break up, he didn't go far enough. :D

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

As for Stung. Forget the enabling part, I have no idea why he would want the drama. Crazy.

If you have options, got it going on, there's plenty of single women out there who fit the same bill.

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Agree. We know why. He likes the attention, he said so. A bit of a self-destructive bent there too, it seems, based on the professional connection. This isn't a moral issue for him, this was made clear several posts back.

Alright, enough thumping this issue, lol. I'm not as rabid about this as I seem. I do think that people tend to get what they deserve and those in this thread (me too) won't be any different. Actually surprised Cafe hasn't chimed in on this one yet.

Stung takes a stance and argues it well. He is good at rationalizing...I bet he has some type of IT job. That is all his argument is...a rationalization of his actions/choices. It's just kind of gross behavior to sleep with a married person or person who is cheating. Also gross behavior to use people at all (even though we have all done it) ... It's hard for me to be so one-sided about issues, I have emotions...I am a woman. I feel empathy for others, Stung doesn't seem to. He actually has a lot of these traits....

http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

Haxan/Indi - I agree with everything you both posted. We are all human and every set of circumstances is different. The OP is a douche, but probably just young (and not just in age).

I think it's great to always be honest with your significant other...about everything....why not?

LOL, I doubt Stung is a sociopath just young, selfish (and mbe a bit of an ass). Viva la internet. Aren't the different social venn diagrams fascinating?

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LOL, I doubt Stung is a sociopath just young, selfish (and mbe a bit of an ass). Viva la internet. Aren't the different social venn diagrams fascinating?

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Yes, I doubt Stung is a sociopath...but you never know!

My father ran psychiatric hospitals and my mother was a therapist that he hired at one of them...so I grew up in a household where everyone was diagnosed with something. By everyone, I mean every person my father has ever come into contact with. So, I suppose I tend to do this as well.

I read this article (below) a while back...Carl Jung. Something to think about. I have always chosen "boys" that fit into this category. I have recently started to realize that just my partners, but also most of my friends have had absent fathers. Maybe I do this b/c I had a father that was VERY involved and I take after him a lot so I try to be a "father" or parent type to the people in my life. Anyway, off topic in this post but I am just thinking.

http://drpetermilhado.com/puer_complex

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Originally Posted by Maple1714 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Yes, I doubt Stung is a sociopath...but you never know!

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LOL, well, if he is he certainly won't care that we are labelling him as one. ;)