Lol honestly I think I might have to start throwing things
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Lol honestly I think I might have to start throwing things
Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I was passing through due to curiosity and took a look as I've also had to create my profile (now no longer active), and noticed a lot of little issues here and there but Searock nailed it... these staged photos show little personality. Take your original headshot and throw a fake mustache on it, and you've got something there.
When I was adding pictures, not all of them were flattering in lieu of having some with more character - for example, a picture of me riding a giant plastic dinosaur. Don't try and hide the way you look, once you meet them its all out the window anyway. Pick some flattering REAL pictures of you, not photoshopped ones or professional shots. I mean, you CAN add those too, but make sure you have plenty of other ones.
This right there makes you sound egotistcal and unrealistic. A guy at your age that hasn't had a LTR for more than 10 months, makes women instinctivly see that as a red flag. There may not be anything wrong with that in YOUR opinon BUT this is how women preceive it whether you do approve of it or not. This is one of the reasons why you don't get any responses. Women are very particular to the small details because it is the way women think. It may be superficial in YOUR opinion, but you can't argue with a woman natural instinctive behavior. So is what I said too over your head?Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
No, now you're setting him up to lie that he just got out of a 2 year relationship....
Lol she already told him it's okay to lie on that issue... honestly Clean I don't understand you, you have 6 pages of feedback you requested and you're still debating each point... like I said before, if your opinion was the way forward you would have got results and would never have felt the need to come here and ask for advice... and for the record yes it does flag up as strange if a guy your age has never had a relationship last beyond a year (as much as you may be able to explain why this isn't a big deal once you have a line of communication going that's not going to matter if nobody is contacting you in the first instance) and yes actually you can tell things about personality based on photographs - case in point, Flux riding a giant plastic dinosaur clearly shows he's a total doofus :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Millie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Say what you will about me, but I don't know how well the dinosaur will handle it. Otherwise, I can work with doofus ;)
Argh. You know what guys and gals, I am who I am. I am a very pleasant guy to be around and have a lot of qualities women enjoy. I am not sure why I can not convey this correctly on a profile. I am not contesting any rational suggestions made in this forum thread and I really appreciate the feedback I have received; as well as have been applying suggestions as they come. However, it is at a point where I am getting conflicting responses and am just jumping back and forth between changes; not to mention some people actually suggesting lying on a profile, which may be an acceptable behavior to some, but is just something I don't do. I could spend months more on this and keep bouncing back and forth through changes on my profiles people suggest, but I don't think it is going to get me anywhere.
Apparently, being a decent looking, kind, and honest good hearted guy just isn't enough in online dating world. As for the photos, as I said before, I am just not photogenic. The way I look and act in real life/mirror is nothing like the way photographs perceive me as. It is like taking a picture of a cat and ending up with a photo of a dog. I have put forth my full efforts on this, but its just not working and is becoming more of a hassle than it is worth. I am going to try my current profile setup on my sites for the rest of the week and if no responses, I'll try that eHarmony site I guess. If no go there, I guess the online dating world is just not for me.
Once again, I really appreciate everyone's time and feedback I have been given.
Thanks again
rofl! >.<......Quote:
Originally Posted by millie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Actually, what all of us have been telling you is to take more natural photos.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I agree with you on this one: apart from it being morally something I wouldn't want to do, I also think it is pointless since the truth would come up anyway.Quote:
not to mention some people actually suggesting lying on a profile, which may be an acceptable behavior to some, but is just something I don't do.
You have never yet tried putting a photo of you in a social setting, when you are just chilling out with friends and goofing around having fun. This is what we all agree you should do.Quote:
I could spend months more on this and keep bouncing back and forth through changes on my profiles people suggest, but I don't think it is going to get me anywhere.
You're right: all those things amount to nothing if you aren't able to convey them through your profile.Quote:
Apparently, being a decent looking, kind, and honest good hearted guy just isn't enough in online dating world.
Anyway, good luck, keep us updated if you like :-).
Clean cut it's obvious you don't like change or lack the ability to compromise...dead set in your ways. This doesn't sit well with women (just tellin ya).
We are not saying you are all wrong on a personal level and changing things are not going to remove anything about your personality. The online dating game is very competitive, you have to SELL yourself.
About the photos. it's not that you don't photograph well (excuse), it's the subject matter, posture and positioning that isn't working which is easily fixable. Why is that so hard to understand? lol.
Agree. I feel a little context would help... I mean get some friends together that know you're trying to get some good pictures.. and just rattle off like.. 200 pictures on a digital camera... you're bound to find a couple good ones...Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Why not? To my point of view it's even better when your boyfriend is older then you from 3 up to 10 years.
Am I missing the part where the feedback you got was conflicting? Perhaps I did miss something but I would say the feedback you've got is pretty much unanimous... except for the lying thing, I agree that you shouldn't lie, start as you mean to go on and all that, I think Smackie was just saying a white lie regarding the matter of the longest relationship you ever had wasn't the end of the world, and while I agree it really isn't a big deal I totally respect you not wanting to go down that road.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'd respond to a guy riding a giant plastic dinosaur before I'd respond to a guy who's photos are taken on a set. At face value (which is what online dating is) a dinosaur riding guy would be way more fun than a guy who only uses formal photos.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Wow, women's logic is beyond me... :surprisedQuote:
Originally Posted by catnip [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
No offense to you catnip.
Thanks for the continued help guys. I'll try to keep in good spirits about this, but it is getting harder. I'll let you know of any developments and may rethink the photos yet again.
Thanks again
HA! Take that Millies beliefs! Dinosaurs are so attractive...Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
and Cleancut, hey plastic dinosaurs are real. Not... not real like.. actually alive... I would have taken a picture on a live dinosaur but.. he was at the doctor :shocked:
Its about showing your personality. I'm kind of strange, I don't take myself seriously at all, I love to have a good time, and I'm confident in my attractiveness... and I bet half the people want to see me riding a dinosaur right now just for the simple fact that I mentioned it.
At least I know that when a woman is interested in me (if I'm online dating) she's interested because she saw my weirdness, she read my profile, she liked my humor, she got the gist that all of that is who I am, and she found that attractive. I mean, I know I'm not bad looking as it is, but having a toast personality isn't winning any dates.
You've got to differentiate yourself by expressing your personality, if you like cars, get some pictures working on your car... if you like salsa, wear a sombrero made out of tortilla chips and post some photos. (I just really want to see a hat like that).
Express yourself.
Why surprised? Do you think girls may not want to see evidence that a guy can have fun?Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Nailed it.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Not only is it about his sense of fun, but I love a guy who confident enough that he can laugh at himself - hence choosing a guy who's so confident that he can put up a stupid photo.
Confidence is the key word here....I hope you read some of this LR.
As much as I totally do want to see Flux riding his silly giant dinosaur I think we're in danger of trying to make Clean Cut into something he's not - he's clearly not the fake giant dinosaur type - in fact he doesn't even see why that's something women would respond positively to. As I said to someone yesterday, if a dogs born in a barn it's never going to become a horse - even if he took that advice and did something silly he'd most likely still look awkward and out of place, like a guy who doesn't 'get it' doing something silly simply because a bunch of people told him it was a good idea. Moreover, even if he did that and attracted more incoming attention they're going to realise within about 20 seconds that he's just not the riding a giant dinosaur type (sorry to talk about you in the third-person, Clean).
You are correct. I am more of a traditional type of gentlemen so I try not to make myself out to be foolish. However, I can become somewhat playful spirited among the right company. I am one of the most down to earth and logical people you'll ever meet. That makes me really good at understanding/solving problems and technical issues, but not so good at understanding why things I find pointless are considered "fun" to some people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Millie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
BTW, I put up a similar yet more general pic for my main profile for now. Hope it is a little better anyways. I think I might change the car pic this weekend as well.
The other studio shot was better than this one, hon. :(
Just be yourself, and if you do buy into that zodiac "crap" (which I totally do) then someone will notice, and be interested in that! Meeting someone you get along with is about meeting someone with similar interests, and things in common with you. If you post true and real things about you, then you're more likely to get someone who actually has something in common with you!
Lol I'm staying well away from the pics topic but one thing is still bugging me about your profile - that line that begins "I also like a woman that..." well, you changed the wording as per the advice given and that's great but it really should read "I also like a woman who..." - call me picky if you like (I am) but you're referring to a person not an object so the pronoun should be who, not that.
Profile picture still not good....in fact you should get rid of it entirely. I got an idea. Take that one of you standing outside and crop it. Just have the picture of you from the knees up or adjust it up more. See how that looks.
Thanks Millie, I'll correct that.
Yep, I am being myself in the photos and description, couldn't be anyone else. Everything in my profile is truthful and about me as well. BTW, none of the photos I take are done in a "studio", per say, just indoors sometimes with a different background added. At the moment, now that I changed the profile photo, all the current photos are unmodified, or "natural photos" like you guys keep suggesting. I agree that the main pic I just added is not as good visually to me than the last, but it is just a regular plain indoor photo like so many people use apparently. I will probably make a better one this weekend though.
Yeah, a better one indeed... it just seems a little forced in my opinion. The best one you have (also in my opinion) is the grass and the fence and the red shirt, with the invisible cat in the corner.
Get a few more of those... you should take a bunch and just post them here and force the ladies to select their favorites... use an image hosting site so they aren't all plastered all over these forums and you can remove them at your leisure easily.
When we say natural photos we don't mean unmodified photos (although that is a given), we mean spontaneous photos as opposed to set up and specifically posed photos. We have mentioned many times photos in social settings while you're chilling out with friends, smiling spontaneously rather than for the camera, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yes, the best photo you have so far is the one outdoors with the red shirt. It's where you look more spontaneous, one could almost think you're at a barbecue or something.
Invisible cat? :surprisedQuote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That would be much worse I assure you. Most outdoor photos I take, like that one, have a heavy shadow over my face, even when in direct light strangely enough, making any close up very grainy.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ok, I am going to try one last time to make better photos, or more "spontaneous" ones I guess, lol. Also searock, like mentioned before, I am planning on adding a social pic, but just don't have it yet.
Thanks
I copied it into my browser off your very 1st post, are there any new piccies or those are it to look at? Idk let me see what I think to say...
I like the car and you pic best out of the three.
The outside field one, for some reason I thought boy that pic would be great if he was kneeling down with a dog in the shot, somehow it calls out to have a pic of you with a dog, lol I don't know why but you wanted our impressions, right?
And the main pic, the full on you pic, I would prefer that to be a b&w pic, maybe, give some arty feel to it, switch it up and not all be in color shots.
Cool idea sadbunnyface and thanks for being one person that likes my car pic :)
YW. Is hard to please everyone with how you look. Just have a good mix of different shots. I'll find you a b&w pic that I like for a guy, don't have to look like the guy but only to give you an idea on the pose etc and how b&w gives you a nice air of mystery. I like the black tee shirt on you too, forgot to mention.
Sorry about sizes on pics...if they post too large. Go look at b&w head shot pics and see what you'd like for yourself, maybe.
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If I looked like that guy, it wouldn't matter how the pics were done, the women would respond, lol. Very good suggestion though. Thanks again
One quick question that comes to mind, after seeing those pics. Do you ladies think, for a main pic, a guy should be smiling or not? I think my face looks much more handsome when I am not smiling actually, like the guy in those pics, but I don't want to come off as looking mean or jerky, lol. Not sure what women prefer.
The guy looks serious.........ly good lol.
Dude you have aspergers by any chance?
Jeez, of course not. I already stated that I have no issues with women, or people in general for that matter, on a face-to-face level. I just seem to have some sort of "online dating block", lol. Just wish I was even half as successful online as I am in person.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
BTW, I would like some opinions on my "smile or not" question.
Thanks
Maybe you don't need online, if you're more successful meeting women in real life?
I think a smile is preferable, but only if it's not forced.
I talked about this some on my original post. I am not doing online dating to just date woman, but to find a particular type of woman. I love the filtering options that online dating offers. A big time saver in theory anyways.Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Apparently all my smiles look forced, lol. If I give my full smile with teeth and all, people on here seem to think I look like some kind of killer, like that guy in the "The Shining" or something, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]