Im sorry for everything. Please forgive me one day....
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Im sorry for everything. Please forgive me one day....
this is the longest we haven't spoken in nearly 3 years. 6 days/14 days of no contact. It makes me sad that this is how things can be, that we say we're so in love with each other and want to make it work, but we have this distance between us. I've been reflecting on my needs and what they are as I'm sure you are as well. I am terrified to discuss them when we meet next week. I am more terrified that we won't have a reason to discuss them. I've invested so much in our relationship, and it hurts to think that we're compatible but our communication skills suck...many people think we're good together, but that doesn't matter if you don't think we are. I don't understand how you can not give me a chance to rectify my behavior that was off-putting to you. Do you understand people aren't perfect, that you MUST point out to others when they over step boundaries? You've kept everything inside....and let it fester. I hope this time apart has made you realize what you need and what part you played in this and that even if we aren't together that you handle them before getting into another relationship.
Well, Tessie (that's what I'm calling you these days), it's been 33 days since we've spoken, and despite the fact that your little identity crisis and your unwillingness to seriously discuss your concerns with me pretty much curb-stomped our relationship... despite the fact that you were developing an emotional connection with another man while you were sharing my bed, eating my food, and living in my house for free... despite the fact that you went from loving to cruel in the span of two days, and despite the fact that you were f**king someone else not even one week after dumping me...
I still miss you, I'm still hopelessly in love with you, and I still pray that one day you will come back to me.
I am trying my hardest to not be selfish and to respect our agreement of no contact, but this shit is hard. I don't sit well with uncertainty. I know you told me you love me and want to work things out and give us another shot, but I'm scared that you will change your mind. There's a battle raging in me in wanting to just throw in the towel or to be patient and give you the space you asked for. I am trying to be positive and use this time to understand me and my needs and what I want out of life. I know that there are things that must be addressed now things I kind of just put aside. I am hoping you will want to work things out and put in the effort because we've invested a lot. I think we're compatible but I just think you're afraid to get hurt that you think a relationship shouldn't have conflict and because ours had slight turbulance you bailed. And the problems we did have were minor. I was immature and you didn't communicate how you felt. This sucks because I know things will never be the same. If anything this break will make me stronger... By allowing me to look within myself and understand who I am. If things are meant to be, they will pan out eventually. I can't wait forever, but I will give you sometime. I don't know how much and for now I am being patient and just focusing on me.
Thank you for giving me such a good experience. I think you thaught me a lot, which I can only be greatful for. I hope one day we can meet again because I'm a different person now. I like a lot of things about you, which I never fully expressed or was just afraid. I don't see us being together some day again, but what I really know is that there was a reason why we met and why u are so special to me and I think that time will show it.
Dear ex,
We've been through so much fights,breakups, makeups.
Good times and bad times.
Id like for us to sit down and talk even if its just to say goodbye in person rather than text.
Id love to know how your feeling since i left you.
I feel like your not affected and that pisses me off.
Go be with your friends be single have your fun,
but deep down i know that in a few months when i get over you,
youll come crawling back like a baby realizing that your friends, your weed, and your alcohol cant hide the pain forever,
and that you truly did still love me.
By that time it will be too late for us and then ill be the one not affected by this.
Good luck finding another girl to put up with your mood swings, and bullshit, and your impulsiveness not to mention your disgusting habits like spitting up mucus every 5 minutes and farting constantly.
I loved you you knew that everyday you'll see no girl can replace your first true love and your longest relationship (at least if you do it wont be a happy one)
Why are you still writing me messages,sharing songs etc? Is it over or not?
I mean, I know it is. YOU stopped it yourself, remember?
So why don't you just leave me alone? Now that you have your precious freedom. Enjoy it and stop torturing me. Please.
Whats Up,Chris?Wacha Doin'?Got a mew girlfreind?Bet she broke up with ya same reason I broke up with you: Ya get Mad Drunk and sleep with other gals.Yea jerk.Been Drinkin' Whsikey as Milk like ya used to?I forgot why i ever Fancied you.
I've never had such a respectful break-up so far. I just want to say that this whole thing made me love and respect you more. Right now I just want to hug you and show you that I'm a better person now, thanks to you. I really hope I can overcome my jealousy towards you and we can be friends not the way we were before our relationship, but truely bonded friends, and hopefully get together again. I really cherish you in my life, and want to grow towards you.
dear you
words cant explain how horrible i feel how could i be so stupid? when u showed up yday at our friends dinner with her i didnt know how to feel i cant believe u...u honestly cant make up your mind? or u have made up your mind and decided to leave me in the dark...how is it u and i just had plans to hangout a week ago and yday u show up with her...her of all ppl the girl i got into a physical altercation with not over u but because of a situation with u...u told me u didnt want her...u changed ur mind? and what is with the way u acted yday no reason for u to act all sulky i was put in the WORST situation i had to put on a brave face and act like ur presence didnt bother me...all the times i told u how i felt and i told u if u don't want me tell me or if u didn't see a future with me then tell me so i can let u go...but no ur selfish u wanted to string me along....ur the same person u were 10 years ago the only difference is that we are 27 now...how could u do this to me? after i supported u..i was ur number 1 supporter thru everything and u just...chose someone else over me....
because i know u and this has happened before i know its just a matter of time before u come back and try to get in my good graces again and i pray to God im strong enough to resist u...im hurting tho...my feelings are hurt and i feel so stupid
I'm finding it so hard not to contact you every day. You were my whole future and there's a huge hole inside me now. I'm so sorry for not treating you right and hurting you. I'm a new man now and promise to love and appreciate you properly if you'd just give us another chance.
I hate that you tore our family apart and broke me the way you did, I have never in all my life felt that much hurt and pain before BUT what i hate more is the fact that i still love you, though i will never say those words to you again.... I hate that you still have the same effect on me that you had while we were together. I am finally in a place where where i feel like there can be a future after you, but i still think of you more than you deserve. What I hate the most about this is I cannot just move on and never speak tk you again because of our kids, I put on a smile and be as friendly as possible to you. Lucky you to have the person who stood by you through everything forever be in your lice after all the pain you caused.
I heard about this new show that helps you get over your ex and answer the questions I've been left with since we broke up (exandwhycasting.com)
I am thinking about applying, what do you think?
It killed me to know u took our pictures down and probably through all the letters and cards away. I hate this bitterness u brought in me
Let me know if it works for u..
U made the choice to walk away from us, from all that we had, from me. So why is it now u want to text me all the time and tell me u miss me? I want to understand y u feel the need to just not let me move on. U know me better than anyone else and you use that against me.
If you don't want me, that's your problem, not mine. I don't think I even want you back anymore...
You been on my mind for months now. Everyday I remember you. The day Ill forget you will be the first day of my life.
What are you doing to me? I feel so lost :(.. Every time I think I'm fine.. You text me or email me :( I spilled out my heart and swallowed my pride when u said "it's not you... It's me"... I thought our 6 years together deserved more than a cliched out :(.. You break my heart.. Even more I lost my spirit.
..I hate you right now.. I hate that u seem fine.. It's almost 8:00pm and u just left .. Sometimes I wish I never met u
Why are you torturing me? What have I done to you to be treated this way?
What did I say to make you hate me? I don't remember. I had been on morphine for 3 days!
...stoooop texting me!!! Leave me alone .... Y is it that you keep saying I still care!!! Wtf!!! Arghhhhh!!
I'm upset that you left me. I did my best to give you what I could offer. I'm not rich, I'm not well educated. But I treated you fairly, with respect and love. After we broke up, you played with my feelings, took one step towards me whenever you needed me, and as soon as you got what you wanted, you took two steps back. While I was stuck in the same spot, missing you.
I hate that you KNEW how much I loved you, and cared for you, and fought for us, and you USED that against me to play with my feelings.
Even thought I still think about you and love you dearly, I'm sick of being treated like a dog.
We can never be friends, and I won't ever be friends with you.
I hope when you see me with another girl, that you feel the pain of what I went through.
**** you.
I'm not angry nor do I resent you. In fact i truly still love you. Who knows what the future will bring.
The only thing I am sure of though, is that this pain will pass. It's a 100% that I will heal and move on and love again.
I won't bother you anymore. If you'd want to talk to me, then you'd contact me.
I know I'll be okay. I'll always remember your words, "things will be better". You say that whenever I tell you my problems and worries. I supported you and tried very hard to understand your moods. I stayed eventhough I know I deserve better. Maybe that's one of the biggest mistakes I've done. I loved you unconditionally. Hell, maybe I still love you now.
I know you're crazy. But I just don't understand how you can leave me like this. You said you're not breaking up with me. You said you just wanted space so you can make yourself better. But I still haven't heard from you for almost 2 weeks. What hurts even more is you've blocked me from your phone. You're not replying to my emails and my messages. What did I do to deserve this? You're treating me like you never cared. I guess you never did care for me that much.
I gave you everything I can. I did everything to make you happy. I didn't expect you'd do the same but I didn't expect that you'd be this heartless to just leave me hanging.
I'm trying to be better each day. I just can't wait for the day that I'm over you. You wasted my love. I know I'm the best you'll ever have.
I pray that you'll have a good life. May your dreams come true.
Remember the promises we made? Remember how we wrote each other a letter EVERY SINGLE DAY while I was away with the Army? That's 10 months worth of letters. I remember how every day I would count the minutes until mail call because I knew one of your sweet letters would be there for me.
Remember how I called you every Sunday? How we would spend 4 hours just talking and catching up on what is new in our lives? And then I when I finally got out, it was the happiest day of my life. I had served and I was done. It was time for the rest of our lives to start.
We had dreams. Hopes and dreams that included a family, a home, everything. We had the names of our children picked out. We knew how we would raise them. Then you made me the happiest man in the world when I proposed to you on that beach, and you said "Yes."
Five years gone. Five years of patience, love, and everything in between. It's gone now. It's a painful memory.
Like Don Draper said: "Nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound." Its been weeks. I still love you and miss you. I don't resent you. I don't hate you and I'm not angry with you.
I just wish things had turned out differently. It hurts.
I think of you less and less everyday and I'm happy for my progress but what I saw today really hurt me. I'm so mad at you I just wanna curse you and shout at you. I know you're a jerk and I should have ended it soon.
I just wanna say that you're really stupid to trust her again when all she did was take things from you. I gave you everything I can.
You lost a lot when you let me go.
You're a stupid, heartless, a-hole.
I still love u , I can't hate u ... I wish to wake up tomorrow and not remember you. I hope you are happy you got what you wanted.
I hope you feel great too! You used me pretty well ! You should earn a degree or be worshipped for it because you know how to make me feel shitty! Man its almost funny how manipulative you can be, like unhumanly satanic oh my God! Wow! lol (Literally) You tell me you love me and want to be with me and your now boyfriend finds your email and now you say you wan to be with him? Wow.. You used me pretty well pretty damn well touché...
Im tempted to call you... What's the password to your Links wireless router? Argh!
I have no words, I have no light
For you, the essence of my daily dreams, are attracting my darkest nights.
I never imagined my life with out you
In all I've ever done, you were always there
Only you really know who I am
From where I came from and to where I'm headed
Thanks for not taking me back and disregarding all the attention I give you
Beautiful words.Quote:
Originally Posted by Closed Heart [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You lied to me so many times, but I forgave you every time...still giving you so much of my trust. You put me down and somehow, I still found a way to love you. You used your family against me, and I still loved you. You used me for sex, but I did it because I loved you. Now, you crossed the line...finding someone to replace me. Just imaging you with her, kissing her, touching her the way you did me. It makes me cringe.
You will never know how many nights I cried for you. How many mornings I woke up with tears in my eyes. How many times I questioned myself about being with you for 7 years. How many times I put up with your insecurities. How many times I put up with your family always blaming me. How many panic attacks I had because of you. How I barely passed my 2nd semester of college. How many times I thought of killing myself. How I lost our child because of your torturing.
Well now, for sure, you will never get to know when I heal and how I will have moved on.
I wish I knew what was going on inside your head, how you really feel about me. I want to know what happened and why you lost love in me. I did everything for you, if not too much. I was always the one who made the effort and looked after you when you were ill. I still love you and probably always will but I don't know what to do about it, where do I go from here? You were everything to me, my life was about us and I made plans for us but now you say you don't love me the same as I love you. You were my life, you leaving me is like you taking the colour out of my life. The thing I miss the most if the cuddling and late night talks and pillow talk, I want you to love me like I love you but I hate not being able to change that.
I miss you, i miss us, i still love you...
Thanks for ignoring me but I would have rocked your world!
(Not for a ex but for a crush who stopped talking to me)
I don't understand why you've chosen to make things so awful between us now. Our relationship was good, you wanted to break up, I respected that, and now you're doing everything you can possibly think of to try and hurt me. It's as if you've turned into a completely different person. Please stay out of my life from now on. Thanks.
Just when I think I'm doing well.. I fall again, I truly love you , I'm dying again... I chase you relentlessly in my dreams .. I want to move forward.. I REALLY thought I was... Then this .. I'm still raw it's been more than 2 months .. I need peace.. I can't move forward... I miss you soo much..