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yeah dude well said.. I thought I would feel better because I felt like she wanted me to go after her but apparently Love really is blind. I took her out of my phone, erased all test messages etc.. Right after we talked she removed me from facebook too, which is fine, but why wait two weeks to do it... at least i know she never cared about my feelings... my whole world crashing down in front of my eyes and I have no control :(
Maybe she needed the time to work through how she really felt before making a final decision.
Fact she left the facebook up until after the conversation last night would suggest that, otherwise she's have taken it down straight away.
Right now I can't see there is anything you can do but just let it go, chasing her now would be counter-productive, she just made a decision and re-inforced that by action (removing you from facebook)
If you want her back you're going to have to wait for her to make the first move, maybe in time she will reflect and change her mind, but you can't change it for her, she has to come to that on her own.
But as you know, that may never happen, so all you can focus on right now is you, and dealing with it.
I'm in pretty much the same spot with mine, there is no guarantee we will get back together, so I just have to treat it as if we are not going to be and deal with that.
yeah I need to move on... she told me she would never feel like that for me... I think she has emotional issues.. it doesnt seem like it now.. but its probably better off this way anyway...
im sorry about your situation man...
My brother disowned me too... everything is seriously ****ed up in my life right now...
Well maybe mines not as bad as I originally thought.
I'd had a couple of texts at the weekend from her that were looking for a response but I held back from responding
Anyway last night I just thought, fark this, this is doing my head in, so I sent her a text asking if she fancied a chat. She sent a text back saying she would call me shortly, just eating some dinner.
Anyway she did call and we had a good chat, she sounded so down though, I could hear it in her voice that she was struggling not to cry. She hasn't slept all weekend and has gone two days with zero alchohol but she's finding it really hard going.
I asked her if she was ok chatting or did she want me to just back off 100% and not contact her unless she contacted me first. I totally get that she wants some time out but after the texts at the weekend I got the impression that she didn't want to be in NC. And she said she did want me to keep in contact and had no issues with me sending random texts or calling her. So I thought I'd chuck it out there and said, hey maybe in a few weeks if you are up to it, we should maybe catch up and go to dinner or a movie. And she responded with I'd like that very much.
So this morning after that chat I thought I'd send her a valentines message. Just send a mesage saying "love you babe and will be thinking of you today x" and got a message back saying "Happy Valentines to you. Love you too. Am so exhausted. Can't do this without a docs help"
I was so happy. Not because she told me she loved me but because she recognised that she needs to go see her Doctor. I thought fantastic she going to do it :))
And hey, look, I know this doesn't mean we are back together, I know we may never be and I know she might just be using me as an emotional crutch and will dump me as soon as she has this under control as suggested by some of the more cynical responders.
But do you know what? I don't care. I'm happy that she is seeking help, if she gets back with me that's a bonus. But if using me as an emotional crutch helps her get out of the space she is in and she finds support and sollace in that, then so be it.
Im going to flip the **** out.... so my ex didnt just "defriend" me she blocked me... thats fine.. cause it prevents me from facebook stalking her... but than she ****ing calls me at work today.. it rings twice and i didnt even recognize the number.. I thought it was a job related call, so i call it back and it goes to HER ****ING VOICEMAIL... i left a message saying "hi, you called me at work, not sure why, ok bye." This girl is a ****ing nutjob....why am i having such a hard time moving on
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you promise to allow me to use you: I will promise to tell you what you should have done.
You aren't being smart dude. You're falling right into her stupid little plan!
Now she knows you're a sucker and that ANY time she attempts to communicate with you: you will jump like a well trained dog.
Who's the nutjob? (think about it?)
I didnt know it was her dude.. If i dont leave a message it looks like im prank calling or doing something devious.. i didnt have her number memorized which I thought was good.. it bit me in the ass though.. I had deleted all her texts and info so I had no number for comparision.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This is (again an excuse dude) !!!
If you don't leave a message? It means you dialed the wrong number...The fact you left a message tells me you wanted her to know it was you who called her back.
C'mon man! We're not born yesterday. Geez!
she has caller id.. she will recognize the number man... i didnt think to block it... but again i didnt know who it was...
i like your advice as it has helped me open my eyes but you are assuming I am doing this purposely, if you can believe anything.. you can believe that I am just this much of an unlucky person when it comes to certain things...
Yes the way that she flip flops could be a strong indicator
so it should be easy for me to move on.. yet its notQuote:
Originally Posted by sweetkissesforu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Just maybe, if it only rang twice she might have dialled your number by mistake and then realised it, or she dialled your number and then bottled it.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Eiher way try not to let it bother you
bottled it? what does that mean.. you ever call someone by mistake.... usually you realize it before it rings... if it does its a half ring at most.
Bottled in means she called to talk to you, and then changed her mind and hung up.Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
And yeah I've called someone by mistake before and realised it after a couple of rings, but dude, really I wouldn't be trying to analyse it.
Who knows why she called, maybe she might call back and then you will, maybe it was a mistake but try not to let it bother you.
Yeah it's annoying I get that, but your letting your emotions control you again, you should have just left her a message saying don't call me at work, I was banging one of the secretaries and you put me right off.
hahahaha i should have.. i didnt think of it fast enough... i think i handled it OK... you are right.. time to move on. Tomorrow is a new day and it is a beautiful one! How did it go with you?
Well sort of good except I'm very confused, so many mixed messages.
And when I take everything into account including what she has told me about past relationships I can't help but get this feeling that I should just move on and get over her.
At the end of the day she is no longer in this relationship, I can see that clearly. She wants me to keep contacting her incase she decides later that she wants to get back in it.
So I'm really feeling like I'm moving towards a fall back option for her and if something better comes up that will be that.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she does really love me, wants to be with me as she says and just needs some time to deal with these issues of hers, but ...... I dunno
When you love someone and want to be with them, you turn to them, not push them away and say you don't really know if you want to be together, yes I do, no I don't, yes I do, I just said that because I was scared, I don't want t lose you, just give me a few weeks, Happy Valentines I love you.
Anyway I'm off to see a counsellor today so maybe they can help kick me on the right path because this is doing my head in
Oh but on the upside.
Realising a lot of this and working it through in my head has helped heaps.
Now I accept it's over, and that means I can deal with it and that's what I've been doing this last couple of days.
HAD BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!!!!! and slept good last night. And I've not had any contact from her since yesterday morning and ya know what, it's not hurting
yeah... im learning to be happy with myself and things will fall into place. i was OK without her before we met and will be after
Yay! Now you're talking