That was EXACTLY my reaction yesterday...LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Tone
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That was EXACTLY my reaction yesterday...LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Tone
Uh-oh. Well if you scroll back, there are some on here that thought the advice I gave was poor. Let me think of a Plan B; anyone else, feel free to jump in here.
I have to leave in an hour, but will try getting on later, from the car repair shop.
I would say leave it be for today at least. I know you have a babysitter though. Maybe try for Friday.
Let me think here...
LoL like page 2 through 8 is you two just talking back and forth to each other.
This one's all yours, Lloyd!
Awww...cmon, I'm open to advice from ANYONE right now...the more opinions the better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
And yes, I did see that some people on here thought that the dress idea was a little "off"....I actually couldn't find a skirt that fit me....so I wore some nice shorts (not jeans) and a cute tank top and strappy sandals......
I would hate to waste my "babysitting" time and not actually sit down and talk with him tonight....especially on a night when I know he doesn't have his daughter or anything.....Friday is a bad day because he's got his daughter this weekend....
My advice would be to forget him and move on. If you didn't live in such a great place, I'd say you should come live with me in Colorado. ;) Anyway, I dont think I completely read the entire thread but I dont see what you see in him nonetheless.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
Ahhhh...Colorado is BEAUTIFUL....I've looked at real estate out there.....I miss the mountains (I grew up in WA in the foothills of the Cascades)....Florida is too flat......I'd love to have a place out there where I could ride my horse for miles and miles without seeing a single house.
I don't really know what I see in him either really...but it's something.......maybe it's the fact that I feel so comfortable around him because I've known him since high school....maybe I'm having stronger feelings about him because this is my first relationship in 2 years....I don't know....maybe it's because he's so great with my daughter...and I love the way I feel about myself when I'm with him....I don't know...but it's something.....
I think we need to call in Ellynn and/or Shh!. Maybe a girls perspective would be good. I was thinking purely if I were your boyfriend.
It sounded promising at his work; then him telling you he'd meet you, then blowing you off. I don't get it.
Do you think he had to meet with his daughter's mother? Maybe that's why they were talking on the phone? but he would normally be the type that would call you and say, "Listen I have to go see (daughters mother), I can't meet up tonight"
Yeah...I was feeling REALLY good after going up to his work......but I've gotten kinda used to him not showing up when he says he's going to......it never really used to bother me that much....I'd get my stuff done, and if he wasn't there, then I'd leave.....but lately, I'm starting to feel like a damn doormat.....like he takes it for granted that he can blow me off and not call me, and then I'll still be there the next day. I've told him before that he can't do that to me...he says that he does it to all his friends, and I told him," I'm not one of your friends....I deserve a LITTLE more effort....take 2 mins to call me and tell me you're not coming so I don't WAIT!". That's all I ask...I wouldn't have been pissed last night if he had just called me and said that something came up.....but blah......I'm just mad about it. I'm going through phases where I want to be a complete bit.ch to him, and then I want to be nice and sit down and figure it out, and phases where I want to trap him by asking him if he can get some weed for me or something, JUST to see what he says about it...LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
This is really perplexing. One of the reasons you say you like him is because he gets along well with your daughter. Then you say that you dont want your daughter getting attached to someone who uses marijuana.
So which is it?
If you want to try something that may work...try the truth. Let him now that you judged him, that you are sorry now, and that you want him back. If your not sorry, he probably is going to continue ignoring you.....just like I told you before.
Yes, he IS great with my daughter.....and yes, that's true that I don't want my daughter attached to a pothead.....but the fact is, I'm not SURE that he actually IS a stoner.....that's why I posted this thread....because I really want to know the best way to sit down and talk to him....hopefully without him getting all defensive and stupid again.Quote:
Originally Posted by carpflounder
You've known him since high school and you dont know if he's a stoner or not??
Well if he doesn't show up or even call, that's not just treating you like a doormat, it's down right impolite and rude. :annoyed:
Carp, I think she was being honest this whole time.
But Carp does make a good point: don't "love" him or stay with him just bc he's good to your daughter. Any bf you have, if he's worth anything, will love your daughter as well as you, b/c he will know how much she means to you. Yes, it's a package deal, but one with tremendous upside. And your current bf (having a daughter of his own), or any guy with kids will realize that.
don't trap him with games and trickery; if he finds out, he will be rightfully pissed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
I was best friends with him in highschool, back when he was a stoner (so was I)....then I graduated, and he was dating my other best friend, and we fell out of touch.....fast forward 3 years...I go up to the feed store and there he is! SO I know nothing of his history, from the time during high school, until about 5 months ago, when he and started hanging out again.
I just noticed that you're only 21; you seemed older. How old is he?
A lot of his BS might just be due to his immaturity.
The fact that he's great with my daughter is only one of the reasons that I care about him....there are many others.....including how good I feel when I'm with him (although that seems quickly forgotten by me when he blows me off), and....well.....the sex is amazing (I myself have always been a bit "shy" in bed....and I have NO inhibitions at ALL with him)......etc, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
Yes, I'm young...but I feel like I've lived a lot more life than my 21 years :) He'll be 22 in October...so yes, he is young...and chances are, he's far more immature than I am.....he really never got much of a childhood...his father was a crack addict who left at when he was 6...so he had to grow up pretty fast....and then his daughter was born when he was 16.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
Ah yes, the sex ;) Gotcha.
I remember sex....I think.
A bit Off Topic, but you might do better with an older guy, maybe >26ish; one who has his priorities more in order. I know when I was 22, I was alot more out for myself, then girlfriends etc. It's like a coming of age time, and he does have responsibilities at a young age.
Not that that has anything to do with your situation.
Ditto that.Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
Yeah....I'm sure you're probably right.....but I will admit, that after having my daughter, my self-confidence was pretty much shot down. Before I got pregnant, guys would look at me, hit on me, slow down if they passed me in a car, etc......after having my daughter, that's all different.....and it really affected me. Maybe I'm "clinging" (god I hate using that word...I'm not clingy...it was the only word I could think of that was appropriate) to the first guy that's shown me attention in 2 years......Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
And I've told him MANY times before.....if he's got something else to do, or wants to go hang with "the boys", all he's gotta do is be honest with me....I understand that he doesn't want to hang out with me 24/7 (I'd worry if he did)......but all I ask is that he actually talk to me and tell me what's going on...
Do just that, find out what's goin on.
But don't let this guy act like a total jerkoff to you and get away with it. I mean if it's been 2 months and he already acts like this, imagine 2 years from now?
I can see what you're sayin about just liking the attention, and it might be your case now. =/
Just make sure you don't settle for anything but the best, this guy isn't the best right now let's be honest. If he doesn't get his shit straight, start being honest with you, following through with plans, then why bother wasting time you could be spending possibly meeting someone new?
even if he does sit down and talk to you, he will not change. he will avoid the subject forever. if he doesn't want to talk to you about this serious issue, what other serious issues will he avoid? if you really don't want a person who does drugs, then don't be with this person.
repeat: he will not change.
I'm trying to find out what's going on...I'm REALLY trying.....I'm obviously putting in more effort than HE is!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone
It's SO easy for me to say to myself,"I deserve nothing but the best" or "I deserve better than this....I could be out meeting someone GREAT"....but the fact of the matter is...I think my self-confidence is STILL shaken.....and it's hard for me to get out and meet new people....for two reasons...the first of which is my daughter......and I have anxiety disorder......I'm great with people....and love meeting new people...but public places are an issue with me.....restaurants send me into a major anxiety attack........so you can imagine how hard it is for me to go out and meet new people!
Don't let your confidence bring you down. Yea, your daughter makes dating tricky, thats a fact of life. But you're a very attractive young woman with a good head on your shoulders. I understand what you said about anxiety disorder. There's always Internet dating. :)
Internet dating...::shudders:: I've done it before....every guy I've met from online has been a stalker....seriously...I think their middle names were "restraining order"Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
Good! He shouldn't change...there is no part of his life (that we know of) that is not working!
I hear ya. I've done a bit of Internet dating myself. Fortunately, I'm on the other side of the sinking ship.....More competition but the quality isn't there. I was about to marry this gal I met on collegeclub.com and we dated for 4yrs.
Whoa...I'm not asking him to change....I'm just asking for an adult conversation to find out what's really going on....and if everything is fine, then all I'm asking for is some COMMON COURTESY! I'm not nieve enough to think that you can actually CHANGE someone if they don't want to change for themself!Quote:
Originally Posted by carpflounder
why don't you just hook up with tavs. he's a good looking, decent guy. (i think)
you're both horse people. (i think)
Yea, I'm a decent guy. I was on the university Rodeo team for a while.....saddle bronc riding. We're only separated by 1500+ miles. ;)
I don't want to make you defensive about your guy, but you seem to have too much going for you to be so un-self-confident around him. :surprised
RELAX! He should be pursuing you!!
It's not that I'm not confident around him...maybe it's just the opposite...I'm a straight-shooter...I tell it like a see it...sometimes, maybe TOO bluntly. I think I may have scared him off...LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Rob26
It's meeting new people that's hard for me....that's where my confidence has taken a real fall.....once I get to know a person, I'm VERY outgoing and gregarious.
Thank you for your compliment :)
Saddle broncs...wow....that's hot. 1500 miles isn't sounding so very far....LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
Do you have a pic TAVS? :D
Jeblina this is for you!
[url]http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=4756&TrackingID=516311&Bann erID=544657&menuid=7>1=6898[/url]
Click ^^^^
That was a good article....thank you.....plenty of good ideas in that.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone
Although....I still don't know exactly what to do about my current boyfriend....or how to do it!
What about putting a note on his truck or the door to his house saying "please call me, I really want to talk to you".
don't say "I need to talk to you", b/c that' usually sends off the warning signs that the conversation won't be all that good.
Then, the next move is his. At some point, now, I think you're going to have to let him make the next move to see how he really feels and how much he wants the relationship to work.
I have to go up to his work again today......so I'll see him there.......I really want to go out to dinner with him tonight, but I don't know if I should call him to plan it.....or I should just wait until I see him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95