I still have some to message and I'll give you guys an update this weekend. I have been get more profile views and "Meet Me" requests this week than usual though, so that is a good sign that the pics are helping ;)
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I still have some to message and I'll give you guys an update this weekend. I have been get more profile views and "Meet Me" requests this week than usual though, so that is a good sign that the pics are helping ;)
hows it going?
Ugh :(
So, I messaged 30+ women over the course of the last week, all of which had similar interests and such, with yet again not a single blasted response. Once again, most everyone I messaged did view my profile afterwards, but nothing after that. Very discouraging considering the effort I am putting into this fiasco.
I decided to go through the absurdly long and tedious process of creating an eHarmony profile this weekend. After all that, it only showed 5 people as a potential match; only 1 of which was actually acceptable. I noticed today I have a few more showing up now. It appears that eHarmony only slowly drip feeds you matches over time for some reason instead of allowing searching. There is no real searching capability on the site, which I find pretty darn ridiculous myself.
I guess I will use my paid time with eHarmony to see if anything comes of it, but I really doubt anything will considering the extremely limited way they have it setup. If no go with it, then I am throwing in the towel on this online dating stuff. I may just have to go back to dating the good looking yet quite shallow people around here that I tend to attract in person. Such a pitty though since online dating seems like such a sensible and logical approach yet ends up just being a disappointment on many levels and a serious waste of time/energy/money.
eHarmony 'learns' from your activity, I think. I started off w/only a few prospects also. As people view your profile, and you start contacting others, things will expand.
Learn to keep those expectations in check. If I had a guy like you contact me, with your attitude, I'd be put off. People want things to be light and cheerful in the early interactions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ok, I'll give it some time then. BTW, what do you mean by "with your attitude"? I'm sure you be disappointed in my situation as well.
I suppose its the language you use. Absurd, tedious, 'only 1 actually acceptable'. You sound potentially judgemental. Lots of people deal with disappointment and remain positive in outlook.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That said, I don't know you from Adam. But our use of language gives good clues about our thoughts, I find.
That post had nothing to do with attitude rather than a nice way of saying that this whole thing is really getting on my nerves. Been working with this stuff daily for more than 7 months now with zero success, despite giving my all. Would that not frustrate you?
maybe post a shirtless pic or summat
shirtless guyz wiv arrogant attitude/look get lotz of responses
LOL, I hope that was a joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by TeEnAgEdIrTbAg [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That is too bad, and you really made the effort to change things up and seemed very pleased with how things were going before. I think in the summer is a hard time to do something like that, maybe give it a break and try back in the Fall? Maybe during that break you will meet someone IRL in your city instead. Funny how life works, you never know. I'm sorry it has got you down. I liked your new photos. Don't get to feeling too defeated, Clean Cut. Someone is out there who will be just right for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I hope you are right, but I'm not so sure. Thanks for the encouragement though sadbunnyface.
You should try match.com, Clean.
POF is really more for hookups. Few on there are genuinely looking for a relationship. That's why most of the pics are guys with their shirts off, and chicks tonguing their friends boobs in a bar.
E-harmony stinks because you cant control it.
Match, I always felt, had some people who were in it for booty, but the majority are more serious about dating and relationships.
Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thanks, but I have been actually using POF, OKCupid, and a paid Match.com account this whole time.
Oooo... :(
Then it's time for meeting women in activities.
Do you have meetup where you are?
I think this is probably a good idea.... or just generally doing social activities....Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But I think he's on the right track with the online dating thing. Its all about the profile and the first few messages.
Lets take a few steps further CleanCut... what kind of messages do you send these women? Can you post a few .. "first contact" messages and let us know what you're working with?
Quote:
Originally Posted by namemyname [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Maybe so. What kind of meet up are you referring to in my area?
I don't think my messaging is the issue as 90% of the time I do get them to view my profile. I try to customize my message according to what they seem most interested in or something unique we have in common.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think there is just so many people that use online dating these days that you practically have to look like a super model to get any responses or something. Not sure what the deal is.
I don't look like a supermodel.... Millie knows what I look like, and I seemed to do alright both in and out of the online dating scene. Its a lot to do with specifics in their profile, but you have to be willing to take a chance and gauge how much fun you can have in the process.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
A lot of times generic messages like.. "Your profile says you like photography, I really like photography too." on an online dating site, is pretty similar to saying... "Me think pretty, me talk you now." Small, simple connections like this won't differentiate you from the other guys.
In order to really stand out in the online space you have two ways to do it.. Attractiveness... and Personality. I think, with a little more tweaking, you're close to nailing both of those down in a manner that will get you dates.
Yea, I don't do generic sounding messages like that. Since I have no issues attracting women in person, I am pretty good at that part.
As for my profile, what more tweaking could I possibly do? I think I am all "tweaked out", lol.
i am serious cleancut add some shirtless pics n i bet ur views will increase(dependin on ur body) n more gals wud respond.i wud deffo click on a hot shirtless fit guyz profile :)
meetup.com
O'yea, I think someone mentioned that site a while back. I'll have to check that out. BTW, I'm not taking a shirtless photo, lol.
You're 15, you don't have a say in anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by TeEnAgEdIrTbAg [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'll take a look at your profile and see what I can come up with Cleancut
Ok, thanks LifeInflux.
Let's let the people decide...Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
i think my advise was good.if he uploads a shirtless pic we'll see dat i was right
If LifeInflux or anyone else that has further suggestions, I'm all ears. Still not having any luck...
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50706517
Thanks
I would have to rewrite a lot of what you have.... I'll work on some things today and see if any of that helpsQuote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
That would be much appreciated and I thank you for your time. I sure thought we had it down good, but apparently something is still not right though.
Thanks again
If ya do great in person why waste your time on this online dating thing?
Once again, explained that in my original post, filtering.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jffs24 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
>>I sure thought we had it down good, but apparently something is still not right though<<
I think the problem is that there aren't many women around who fit your criteria. Look at it this way: In real life, you get women who are interested....you filter them out manually and are left with nothing. In online dating, the women who are unsuitable filter themselves out and you're still left with nothing. Either way, you're getting nothing due to your filters.
If you are really serious about finding a girl, you may well have to get more flexible about your deal breakers. Or not. It's really up to you and whether or not you're able to compromise in order to have a love life.
Well, I really doubt I am the only person in the world with my set of criteria for a partner, lol. Surely there are some quality women out there with a similar set of values and frankly I would rather be on my own than have to downgrade myself or put up with things I loath. In fact, I have messaged many, many women on the sites that match my requirements perfectly, but have never got any responses for some reason.
However, I did just realize something that I am surprised I didn't think of before. Considering that most these dating sites have required fields, like for drinking level and whether or not they have children for example, there is really no need for me to mention those things in my profile. If someone contacts me that doesn't meet my criteria, I can identify those settings and just not respond. That will at least make me look a little more open to things in my profile I hope.
I will do some more trimming on my profile tonight with this in mind.
Thanks
Again with the superior attitude.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This is legitimate.Quote:
or put up with things I loath.
Really you hadn't thought of this? Well better late then never. I agree that you should make your profile look less judgmental (whether you are or not is not an issue - right now, you look judgmental and this is bad).Quote:
Considering that most these dating sites have required fields, like for drinking level and whether or not they have children for example, there is really no need for me to mention those things in my profile. If someone contacts me that doesn't meet my criteria, I can identify those settings and just not respond.
Looking forward to read the results :).Quote:
I will do some more trimming on my profile tonight with this in mind.
Eharmony takes all the search out and narrows the search for you so you are not spending all your time going through dozens of profiles. You can't judge a book by it's cover so even tho they may not look stellar or there is one thing about them isn't suitable to you, just go out on some dates anyways. You are not downgrading.......the reality of it is people in general are not perfect, and sometime you need to be more open minded....that's just my two cents.
When I was dating, I just went out on dates to give them a chance, and also to just get out and have a good time. If nothing ever came of it then oh well no big deal, just move on. I even asked guys out myself and took them out on dates. Just have to keep at it.
IMO internet dating can't compare to actually going out and meeting people. Internet dating is too competitive. They will see many that are OK but hold off for the perfect one, which most of the time doesn't happen.
I thought the problem was that nobody is contacting you? Kinda easy to not respond to nothing, I would have thought. Unless I'm misunderstanding.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sorry, didn't mean for that to sound like it had attitude behind it. Also, yea I always noticed those settings of course. I just thought reiterating in my profile description would to help narrow down the respondents. I didn't think it would be an issue, but apparently it might be.
Yea, I know. But there are just somethings I am not willing to tolerate, like smoking for example. I just thought this online dating thing would be a big time saver in filtering out the basics as not to waste time or money on someone who ends up being a smoker or has kids or something. I think you may be right about the competitiveness as well. Maybe online dating is just too competitive for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Noticed I said "If", lol. I do occasionally get messages from people I don't message first, but they apparently don't read my profile because they never match.Quote:
Originally Posted by Millie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thanks again guys for all this great help guys! :)
Ok, so I did some major trimming of the "What I am looking for" paragraph of my profile. I also took out the line about the tattoos and piercings as one can usually tell how far they have gone with that from the photos.
http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=50706517
Another thing I just thought of as well that I might change. I think I am going to change the drinking field to "Social Drinker". Even though I don't actually drink alcohol, the question is just "Do you drink?". Well, everyone drinks something or you wouldn't be alive, lol. So I can change that to sound more open with out even really lying ;)
You're lying by ommission. Everyone knows that the 'do you drink" question means Alcocholic drinks. Don't be doing bait and switch... assholes of the male and female kind do the bait and switch.Quote:
"Do you drink?". Well, everyone drinks something or you wouldn't be alive, lol. So I can change that to sound more open with out even really lying
I know and I am not into that. However that is the only other thing I can think of that might be turning people away. Out of ideas at this point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
So how long do you think you'll keep someone who likes to go out and have an alcoholic drink with her partner and you don't drink? What a waste of time for both of you.
Have you gone to your site's profile help section? What did they have to say about your profile?