Wait until you see him; the phone calls arent' working and they're just getting you all riled up when he doesn't answer or return your calls.
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Wait until you see him; the phone calls arent' working and they're just getting you all riled up when he doesn't answer or return your calls.
Well I haven't actually tried calling him today.....and I'M NOT RILED UP! LOL.....just kidding.....I'm stressed over the whole situation really......not only over the fact that he's not answering my calls.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
I hear you. I'd still hold off on calling though. Where the hell's Ellynn?
::puts phone away:: Okay...fair enough.....so do you think that dinner is a bad idea then too? Or is that okay? I'm so sick of it being unresolved....no matter what the outcome is, I'd much rather it just be RESOLVED...so I wouldn't have to stress about it anymore!Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
No, I think dinner is a good idea; like I said yesterday. Approach it like you want to have dinner to resolve things in a positive way, NOT a confrontational dinner (ie-"We need to talk...")
But I said this yesterday, and got flamed for giving poor advice from some of the ladies here.
go for the dinner!
But don't rush into judging events that may play out either way; this may require some patience on your part. Hopefully not too much though.
I was thinking of approaching in this manner...."I'd really like to have dinner with you tonight...." (I was going to say"...so that we can sit down and talk" but that sounds confrontational too?)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
I have had and continue to have an open mind....I'm a patient person (I think the fact that he's blown me off a number of times and I've listened to his "excuses" and I'm still with him is a testament as to just HOW patient I am)......but I tend to be very emotional....and if I get frustrated, it can come out as anger....or sadness.....I've also gotten used to hearing what I want to hear, so when it doesn't happen that way....I can be pretty crushed....I'm going to do my absolute best to be a diplomat tonight :)
Alright. I say go with the dinner and hopefully you'll get your chance to talk. But, if he does blow you off, maybe you have to rethink what some people have been saying here; that he's not going to chance, and as time goes by, he will continue to do so, which will not make you happy.
You deserve to be happy. But I doubt he'll blow you off, seems to me that he has way more to lose than you do.
Jaysus! Where is Cybog when you need him? Okay, Jeblina? I'm going to be very direct with you, sweetie, so brace yourself. This guy is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Worse yet, he is taking time away that would be better spent on your sweet little girl. He is your high school friend's left-overs, at high risk of being a drug addict (if he isn't one already), and frankly, he just doesn't seem all that interested. Men who are interested CALL YOU BACK and don't have their mommas give you the run-around. Did I say man? Because I meant BOY. He is very likely not emotionally mature enough to handle a real relationship. Now I know you think he is "special" because your sexual inhibitions are diminishing, but that happens ANYWAY as you age beyond your teenage years. You've already jumped through too many hoops for him and even participated to some extent in Lloyds soft-core porn fantasy of a cowgirl in a barn. You should stop it now. You will be dating more when the guys in your age range are older. They are too young for the kind of responsibilities you have right now.
Sorry if you find my opinion offensive. I really do mean well.
I wouldn't post on here if I was prepared to hear every different point of view......so while your opinion is very blunt and to-the-point.....most of it is probably true.....I may be in denial......but I think I'm prepared to give him one more chance tonight to come to dinner with me and talk....if not....well...then, I'll have to reevaluate. Thanks for being so honest :)Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
Does anyone have any last words of advice before I head out and see what happens tonight?
I'm going with,"Come have dinner with me tonight...my treat." And then when we're talking.....hell....I don't really know what exactly I'm going to say.....probably just ask what's going on....and I'm concerned about him and his actions of late because I care about him, blah blah blah.
Any suggestions?
No other suggestions Jeblina. Just keep your head high and know you deserve some respect. Good luck
Don't do it.....
(sorry. I am a killjoy.)
But I hope you get what you need out of this experience.
If all I get is some sense of closure, I'll be happy. I think I need this more for myself, and less for "saving" the relationship....yeah, I think he's a really nice guy, and yes, I like him a lot....but......I need some common courtesy from him.....and if I can't get that...I guess I'll know my answer, right?Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
God I hope this mental picture in my head doesn't go away...Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
If you have some sort of relationship in mind with this guy, I think you are probably in for a disappointment. It sounds to me as if he just racked you up as a sexual "conquest" and now wants to move on. :(
I could be totally wrong about him though. Is he popular with the ladies or a shy type?
Absolutely the shy type....he's not a "hot" guy....really, when we were in school, I was NEVER attracted to him, and never saw him as anything more than a friend (maybe because I knew that I could get good-looking guys back then because I had more confidence? not to sound stuck up....but I was a cocky 17 year old ). Now though, I am attracted to him personality, which has made him attractive to me....Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob26
As for sex....it hasn't been based on sex at ALL....in fact, in the two months that we've been dating, we've only had sex 4 times (well....3 WHILE we were dating...one before). So I don't think it's about that....I could be wrong though...I'm not a guy, and don't know how they think.
Yo, so how'd it go??
Two months??? Two Months??? Did you mention this before (probably)? Dude, forget about him....well unless he totally surprised you tonight with a romantic gesture.
HMPH....I'm still trying to decide exactly HOW it went....considering that it didn't really go ANYWHERE! Umm....short version...Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
Went to the feed store (again, looking killer of course)...talked to him for FOREVER....he borrowed a few CDs of mine and we chatted for about 20 mins. I asked him what he had planned after work, he said he had something to do...but it should only take about 30 mins (I've started to realize, in "Bobby-speak" when he says a time, I add 30 mins to it...hehe....I'm closer more often than he is). So, I told him that I wanted to go out with him tonight....my treat. He asked where we were going to go....I said...let's at least go out to dinner, or get some takeout and have a nice, sit down meal, okay?" He said..."sounds great...I've been wanting to try this new place...blah blah blah" So he kissed me (yay...good sign) and I left.
I got to the barn and started on my chores, determined to NOT get dirty....but thanks to Tropical Storm Ophilia off our coast, EVERYTHING is muddy and wet....including my stalls....UGH. But I brought my change of clothes (yes....a hot outfit....an actual DRESS that fits me LOL). So, I finally finished my work, and called him....and he said that his daughter and her mother had unexpectedly shown up....blah blah blah....and he asked very nicely if we could take a raincheck on our date. He said he'd call me later when they left to see if I was still close to his house.
I've tried calling a few times...no answer (are we even surprised about this anymore?)
So...I don't know.....as you can probably tell...I'm feeling a little fed up with the whole thing....but, I don't know what to do...he didn't blow me off...he asked for a raincheck......but it just seems like it's always SOMETHING.......and then I'm WAAAAAAY at the bottom of the important things to do/see list. I'm frustrated.
Hmmmm. Very disappointing. He sure seems to spend a lot of time with his ex's family. Has it been like this for the past two months or is he spending more time in that scenario? I've seen your picture, so I imagine if you dressed in a "hot outfit" any man would die to go to dinner with you. What a jip. Did you ask him what happened the night before when he totally blew you off??
Yeah...it was kinda dissapointing.....the situation with his ex and his daughter is complicated (I'm not even sure I quite understand it)....but essentially, the mother tends to take his daughter over to Orlando for days on end quite frequently, so when he can see her, he does.....so, some weeks, he spends lots of time with her, and not so much with me...and other weeks, it's the other way....Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
I don't even bother asking anymore "what happened"....actually I did ask him if his mom told him that I called...he said, "yes....I wasn't actually IN the shower yet when you called." So I said, "why didn't you call me back"....His response? "I forgot"....
Ha, TAVS has a crush on you!!
Man, I don't know what to say. He does seem to be jerking you around an awful lot. You have to lay off the continuous phone calling though, it's gotta be perceived as desparation.
Play it cool over the weekend, since he can't get together anyway; then try again? (Maybe not the best move though; it's very "Lucy and Charlie Brown-ish. You know, when she keeps pulling the football away)
TAVS brings up a good point too; what if he's seeing his daughters mom?
No no no...it's not continuous phone calling......I try a few times, and then give up......and yes...I feel like I'm being jerked around.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
We'll see what happens tomorrow........I think I'm going to leave the ball in his court...if he wants to call me, great.....I'm not calling him anymore....I tried...gave my best effort...was going to take him out to dinner.....what more can I do? I've been patient this long....but I'm over it. If/when I have to go up to the feed store....if he wants to initiate a conversation...great...if not.....fine.....I'm not chasing anymore....I'm not just going to wait to be chased :D
And about him seeing his daughter's mother...I've thought about it.....it's possible (hell, isn't everything)....but not very probable......she's seriously dating somebody....and they had tried to stay together back when they were younger, and it pushed them further apart......I dunno...I'm not saying that it's out of the realm of the real....but I highly doubt it. I think there's a higher chance that he IS doing drugs than that he's seeing another female.
Yea? So? What's it too you? ;) But I try not to let that get in the way of my advice. I don't know what to say now though. She seems to be taking a good approach at it. I just wish he wasn't such a jurkstick. Okay, so he forgot to call her back. Well if he wasn't in the shower, why the excuse in the first place. Anyway, it's guys like this that will help make it easier for me to get dates when I get back out there......well except for the nice guys finish last thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
Based on his upbringing etc. with his father leaving he is going to have a harder road to travel, thru life. Hate to stereotype like that, but it seems that's the way it's going to be.
If you're honestly comfortable leaving the next move up to him, and williing to move on, I say that's the best thing to do.
You're young, pretty, have a lot going for you; even if I have no idea what the hell that career choice is. You're going to be ok.
I think I'm to the point where he NEEDS to make a move, or my patience is gone. Frankly, I'm tired of putting in all the effort, getting built up and excited, and then being dissapointed time after time....I don't deserve that...nobody does......so now it's his turn....to do something good....for him to put some effort in, and show me that I'm a LITTLE important to him. If he doesn't, then I have my answer. (Yes, it's easy to say while I'm peeved with him...tomorrow when he hasn't called, I may need some moral support...LOL)Quote:
Originally Posted by Lloyd95
Well it's 10pm Mountain and you havent been in for moral support yet... ;)
I've been my own moral support :) Actually, yesterday was really busy for me...so I didn't have a lot of time to be online....but I was good and didn't call him once (and of course, he didn't call me either)...and when I went up to his work, I didn't initiate conversation...but he came over and talked to me....he said," I can come and see you tonight...I'm allowed..hahaha"...what kinda crap is that.....I was very nonchalant and said, "okay...well....if I see you later, then cool." He didn't show up (althought I kinda expected this)...and he didn't call. So, I've given him about a week to do something REALLY nice to show me that it's important to him.....yesterday was day one. :bored: If, by day seven, he hasn't put in any effort....well, then I'm done......and I'll be on a plane to go meet TAVS....LOL ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
What ya laughing about? I'll get one of my pilot friends to hook you up with a good deal. Hell I flew to Ft Lauderdale a week or so ago for $50 round trip....Oh yeah, I owe my friend......
TAVS, how much for Canada to Lincoln, NE? ;)
Thats International of course...... I think my friend said it's another $100-$200 per round trip for international 'buddy' passes.
'ey Nina, what you doin this weekend girl?!
>;D
Down, boys, before you drool all over Jeblina.
Jeblina! You are a glutton for punishment! A whole week? You and TAVS actually DO sound like a match made in heaven, if I might say so. You both are in to self-inflicted pain, plus you have the whole cowboy/cowgirl thing going on...
Hey get it right, my drool was directed at bluesummer!
Quote:
Originally Posted by shh!
Yes...I DO think I'm a glutton for punishment! But I figure that 7 days is the right amount of "ignoring" time for him to get a hint and do something....and not so long that I'm torturing myself.
Don't you all think that TAVS needs to take a nice little vacation to FL?
LoL actually I think he just got back from there
Maybe he'll be willing to go again though ;p
Of course I would. Unfortunately I dont think I could get the time off. I'm what you might call essential personnel. :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone
That's too bad :sad2: ....you should make yourself less useful :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by TAVS
come on tavs, take a weekend off!!!
Come on TAVS!!
Jeblina needs someone to take her mind off Captain ****stick, you're just that someone ;p