Would love to have been a fly on the wall during that conversation, as you are clearly NOT going to tell us any details. What did she say? What, exactly, did she decide?Quote:
Originally Posted by and_for_what [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
it was on msn, of all things. We met earlier and talked in real life and it was clearly on the way out. We both knew it. She gave a few reasons, some of which I don't think were true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
She suggests that we just be friends, of course. So, someone to nod at when I see them around campus, essentially. I loathe myself to discover that I don't have much interest in trying to maintain that. Which leaves me with no faith in the motives behind interhuman relationships tbh, not that I had much in the first place. Some part of me must have just wanted to impregnate her and move on. :sad2: which I really hate.
I think really she just isn't attracted to me any more, and thats a valid enough reason. The whole thing has been such a mess, and neither of us seem able to handle this kind of thing.
Its definately the sensible thing to do. I do regret it went as far as it did, already. We didn't kiss, if you're interested. But its like such a long time of progress was compressed into 2 weeks, right up to the end.
Im genuinely happy overall that it happened, though. Like I said, I'd rather take back some parts, but overall it was valid. I look forward to seeing how I remember it after a few weeks have gone. Shit always seems so different in memories.
Sounds like she was a "comet", as my bf calls them. They just go flashing though your life, and you never forget them, but they don't stay.
Remember, it's only the very bad monkeys who want to impregnate and move on. The better ones stick around to protect the sprogs. Don't assume you're a bad monkey because you don't want to nod at her. It's only natural you'd be disinterested in being "friends" with her, after only two weeks of weirdness to base it on. If you'd been friends before, maybe I could see it, but you don't have a lot to work with, here.
IMO, sensible behavior is for people who lack imagination. Don't commend yourself for that.
I'll paste a few of the reasons she gave. Im suspect of them:
"i dont have the self esteem to go out with you because all i can think about is how you dont know any other girls and my friends are quite attractive so would always be thinking how now you know them you realise you dont actually like me. you've no comparison at the moment"
" feel a lot more comfortable now after sayign earlier that we should be just friends, i feel that i can be myself and am not concerned whether im attractive or not or whether you like me"
"not only that but also i dont know how i feel. i know that when i feel you're interested in me i back away but i know this is only because i feel really out of my depth so to speak because when you back away i'm increasingy attracted to you again. I really dont know what i think"
also she agreed that her attraction to me relies quite heavily on it not being returned. i.e., the more I like her, the less she likes me. I'm apparently the exact opposite.
It might be weird for a while at uni, but we can avoid each other quite a bit, really. Theres no times that we're forced to be in close contact.
Oh, for Christ's sake. That's not a girl who wants to be friends. You two are doing a very complicated dance around each other, expecting the other to lead.
How frustrating for you. Clearly, there's phenomenal attraction between the two of you, but you're both completely reactionary by nature.
Somebody has to take the lead, here, and it looks like neither one of you are going to. Sad.
erm, I dont think there is, to be honest. Physically, sure - as far as it can go anyway. I do still have essentially no sex drive so my interest there is limited and quite different to normal. Attraction in other ways? I don't know. Do I actually find her company entertaining when that other, unfortunately sexual, excitement isnt there? I don't know yet. Theres only been a handful of people in my entire life who would meet that criteria, infact. Someone that I'd go out to meet in an empty room somewhere, and know we would have an immensely fun time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I think its always going to be a problem that she doesn't like me if I like her. That will make it impossible.
I have to think now if I want to do shit with her still. She has suggested I come to some bonfire shit on saturday night, but it would seem so weird to do so. I think its far too late to go back and try to take a different route, so ****ing around pretending to be friends might just be a bad idea.
aw man. I dont know if anyone's reading this shit any more hah but its apparently not over at all. : /
last night she invited me round to hers and we cooked/ate etc. I sat apart from her, it was fine. A while later I was sitting next to her, we were using her laptop. She kept starting to lean on me and stuff, and then sit back up. Eventually she said something like "can I at least have a 'friendly' hug?". After a minute or two of deliberation and advising against... I found myself holding her. We just sat/lay there for ages, almost falling asleep.
I stayed there, slept downstairs. In the morning we talked for a while again, quite close. We went into town etc, just left each other now while we do some seperate sports thisafternoon. Tonight we're going to a bonfire/fireworks thing.
Heh last night was a really weird dream. I like introduced her to my mum and shit. It was weird, left me feeling quite strange.
Oh no, you've already introduced her to your mom. Your mom is the "pussy" part of you, and she knows it quite well.Quote:
Originally Posted by and_for_what
Does this girl know you have no sex drive?
Do you still have balls?
haha, oh no - I can still feel her on me. Like after youve been swimming, later you can feel the motion of the water.
So yesterday we went to that fireworks shit. She was still all like "just being friends" etc. Soon enough she was holding my hand then hanging off me. She wanted to stay over, and wanted to sleep in my bed - so we did. We didn't have sex or anything very "far". We got very little sleep though :P
About 3am or something we woke back up and this time, although I wasn't sure - I tried to kiss her. It prooved valid, and she immidiately returned it with enthusiasm. So that then became a major part of our activity for the rest of the night.
She left at about 11am to go and do work or some crap like that. I think we are going to be fairly distant at uni, absolutely not intimate - I dont want that - but I know she is more attracted when I appear disinterested.
I'm still pretty confused as to what she wants or thinks this is. But we "aren't" talking about things any more, so it's going to have to stay a mystery. She suggested that I come to her house in the Chritmas holliday some time.. so I guess it's something.
[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register] tbh
You didn't answer my question. When you were kissing her, did you pop a boner or not? If no, did she notice?
ofcourse I did, I was hard all night, man. I dont know if she noticed, we werent ever pressed together that way. I expect she brushed against it a few times, and I doubt she'd have been surprised to know.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sure I have had no sex drive, and still I dont see women like a hornier guy would. I dont get spontaneous or morning erections. But when Im kissing a half-naked girl in my bed, I do still get aroused apparently.
EDIT: yes i mentioned my lack of sex drive to her, didnt talk about it much though. It isn't relevant when im with her anyway.
__
I'm going to have to get us talking again, gently. Not back to how it was at the start, but right now she wont let us talk about us at all.
I think what you're leading to with that information isn't very true. A guy at his (our) age can pop a boner if we're being threatened with a gun so we can be raped by an obese opossum.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Just because he got a boner doesn't mean anything.
and its irrelevant anyway, vashti. If youre just trying to find out if im physically aroused by her - yes I really really am.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarathu [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]