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Uhm, I go out all the time on dates with someone who wants to drink.. sometimes I'll just tell them I'm not in the mood to drink while we're there, its never been a problem. IF he has a beer every so often, he can put that he drinks... or if he has a glass of wine at dinner..Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I haven't forgotten about you CC, I've just been extremely busy these past couple days...
Have you told them that you're a social drinker but you don't drink ever? In that case, your situation would be exactly like the OP's and you too would be a liar by ommission. Op does not drink alcohol.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
How long do your relationships last that you can get away without drinking ever after you've said you do so occassionally?
Uhm, My relationships last as long as I wish them to. If I decide to have a beer, then I drink a beer, if I get a glass of wine at dinner then thats what I do.. I don't drink every week, or once a month... and if I meet at a bar, I might have one.. or I might not have any... thats my choice. Women can either accept that or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I have nothing to prove to them or you. DO I drink alcohol? Yes I do. Does it mean I have to drink when I don't want to? No it doesn't...
If he is completely sober and the idea of grabbing a beer doesn't interest him at all, then he should let them know up front he doesn't drink, but if he's willing to meet at a bar for a drink, and have a beer one night.. and not the next... he can put whatever he feels comfortable with.
There are non-alcoholic beers and wines he can drink while looking like he is drinking...... I totally can see why people would be truned off by "I don't drink". It would give me the impression they are against anyone drinking or being around people who drink, which isn't the case here.
Good on you for pulling out the tattoo thing. It's true just by pictures one can see you are not into that lifestyle.
Uhm then your situation is not the same as the op's he never drinks alcohol so why should he say he does? That's doing the bait and switch and it's a shitty thing to do. IMO.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Yes you do drink... Op does not.Quote:
I have nothing to prove to them or you. DO I drink alcohol? Yes I do. Does it mean I have to drink when I don't want to? No it doesn't...
Maybe you should re-read what you're arguing about because with that line, you're actually agreeing with me.Quote:
If he is completely sober and the idea of grabbing a beer doesn't interest him at all, then he should let them know up front he doesn't drink,
No kidding.. just don't lie on his profile by saying he drinks ocassionally when he NEVER does.. is my point.Quote:
but if he's willing to meet at a bar for a drink, and have a beer one night.. and not the next... he can put whatever he feels comfortable with.
I'll add that if he wants to say he drinks ocassionally in the part where it asks if he does, then at least put in his profile that he does not but he is willing to meet a chick at a venue while she has one... if of course he is willing to do that. Whats the point of pulling in incompatible people to date? Someone is just not going to be really enjoying themselves.
Yikes, didn't mean to start a drinking conversation battle, lol. I guess I just never understood why the drinking thing is such a big deal to people anyways.
I guess I could legitimately set it to socially as every once in a while I might have one. I just don't drink if I can avoid it at all and don't consume much at all if I do. In fact, I had a juice of some sort last weekend that had a little alcohol in it and didn't even know it, lol. I wish they had a "Rarely" setting on POF like on OKCupid as that best describes it. So, it wouldn't be lying if I set it to their lowest level of drinking.
Well, if you had of actually said that in the first place then I wouldn't have even said what I said about doing the bate and switch. If you drink occassionally then you drink occassionally and there is no lie about it. Whether you have one or not when you have your first meet is entirely up to you. I suspect if you keep not having one though, your solitary drinking partner is going to start asking you why you never have one with her. :) You can put "rarely" in the body of your profile if you want to. If you don't want to then don't. Do You Drink: "Socially" would be correct since once in a while you do have one.Quote:
I guess I could legitimately set it to socially as every once in a while I might have one.
.... and for what it's worth I think you should put the pic of you in the red shirt as your main pic that shows on searches. I don't think the black and white one does anything for you, really? Just my point of view.
Yea, there is a spot in my profile that says "but I'm not a big fan of bars", so hopefully they will get the idea.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Also, I do rotate the photos every once in a while.
Thanks
Not necessarily... lots of people don't like to drink at bars but will drink at restaurants or an nice quiet pub. All you're saying is that you don't like the venue. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
True I guess, lol.
Why would you even have to point out that you don't lie, cheat or steal?! Just by mentioning those things you are making people think about them as they read your profile. It's advertising 101...
This is much better, however I would change it to this:Quote:
So, what am I looking for you ask? Well, just a nice, trustworthy, down to earth, and drama free gal would be nice. I prefer low key women who can also appreciate a good steak every once in a while. I'm a decent guy just looking for my match. Sound reasonable enough I hope?
Feel free to shoot me a message :-)
There really is no need to imply that a person reading your profile could be untrustworthy. Also, "low key" might sound like a negative thing... so a woman might be discouraged to message you, because it would make her automatically "low key". There also really is no need to repeat that you are a decent guy. Why would you even put that in question?Quote:
So, what am I looking for you ask? Well, just a nice, down to earth, drama free gal who can appreciate a good steak once in a while. Sound reasonable enough I hope? :-D
Feel free to shoot me a message :-)
I agree with this....this is something that is unnecessary to mention in your profile. You need to be more relaxed and easy going and POSITIVE about people, things in general and life.Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ok, thanks guys! :)
you got your pose all wrong
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chicks dig this shit!
Lol, thank you Funkmaster Flex ;)
Ok, made the suggested changes to my profiles. I thought I got a message back from a couple of people on eHarmony, but apparently I don't understand how their communication system works. I send people emails like I do on other sites, but when eHarmony says "You received a message from ---", you go to see what their response is and it just wants you to create predetermined questions to send them or something instead of having any kind of message from them. I guess I'll have to figure this out a bit to see if they were actually interested or not. Seems that nothing is simple anymore these days, lol.
Same^. In fact, I didn't even really want to be on the dates but I felt like I needed to make the effort to go out, so I did.Quote:
Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Its just meeting people. Like networking. Don't make it more than it is.
I didn't feel that the internet was competitive, but I wasn't really invested in it either.
There is a message tab. I found this confusing too. If it says you got a message, then you did. Search around.Quote:
Originally Posted by CleanCut [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well it is now without a doubt. In fact, I have never had to work so hard for a date in my life, lol. It may just be that way for us guys though, since women just have to sort through all the messages they receive to choose a date and we have to do all the initiating work.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Not sure when you used the service, but it apparently has become much more of a PITA since you were there. I don't think I have ever used a more convoluted website; and this is coming from a guy who builds and supports websites for a living, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
There are actually two message tabs in eHarmony. One is on the main page, which always says "check back later" for some reason, and the other is in the matches section. The one in the matches section is very misleading. Even if you just get a person that "allows" you to message them, yea you actually have to do that, it pops up a thing that says "You have a new message!", when you really do not have a real message.
Another thing it keeps doing is changing my settings and showing me people that are not matches. The other day all the sudden it changed me from a non-smoker to a "social smoker" on its own and started showing me people who smoke. That site is simply a mess; and I thought the other dating sites were bad, lol.
Yes, it sounds like its changed. Oh well.
Yea, it stinks now for sure, lol. O'well indeed.
It sounds like everyone is out of ideas on improving my profile anymore, which I hope is a good thing. What I am going to do is ride out my remaining time on my paid services, which I think is through October on both, and if no go, I'll just pull the plug on this online dating attempt and write it off as a big $200+ fail.
Again, I truly appreciate all the awesome support I have received from you all and it has meant much more to me than any results that will come from it.
If I happen across any success on those sites in coming months, I'll let you guys know, if you care to know that is.
Thanks again guys! :)
he actually looks a little like cleancut lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Bigdaddy. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Lol, lovely :surprised
Hi Clean Cut! First of all please ignore all these mean people comments. I made my first post on a forum asking a question and had a lot of nasty people dump their emotions on me. People who go on forums and write very nasty stuff are just looking for an outlet to dump their negative feelings on.
It bothered me to read their comments and was just blatant they said whatever mean things were in their head...
Now, in regards to your profile try to put a few more everyday pictures on there. You have some great funny ones which gives the first impression to me you are light hearted which everyone woman looks for.
I didn't bother to read much of the negative banter but saw a lot of "I wouldn't date a 28 yr old guy in my early 20s" everyone has their own different age rules and I know PLENTY of ladies that will date younger, a tad older, older so don't worry about age. Just look for chemistry.
I will try to read what you wrote in a bit and give some further feedback on my personal first impression. I hope all is well!
......STFU. If you actually read through this thread you will see that he got a lot of useful advice and it gave him the sucess he was looking for.
BTW This is an OLD THREAD! the OP is finished with the advice and have moved on. Next time check the freshness date of the thread before posting...and it really helps if you actually read through the thread to see that there is no need for anymore advice.