I need your support

I am a woman in my 40's. I have never sought help or posted anything online regarding broken heart. Not that I have never experienced it. It's just that I am not comfortable talking about it so I tend to keep things to myself. I would simply just cry in privacy but project a strong image when I am out. So, posting here is very humbling. It feels safe because people are strangers who probably won't harshly judge me. Or maybe they will.

I consider myself beautiful, smart, educated, loving and compassionate. To make a long story short, I had broken up with my bf (a month ago) who cheated on me twice. I forgave him once. Once I forgave him, I never brought it up or nagged about it. But I was cautious. 2 months into forgiving him, I once again found him on a dating site. I broke it off right away. I was dignified and took the high road in the break up. I am not one to sacrifice my dignity by calling names and going crazy. I simply said "Once again, you have breached my trust. You have taken my love for granted. Maybe not now, but someday, you will find the value in being with someone like me. I wish the best". Once that was said, I suffered in silence. Cried in my solitude. I cycled between being angry to nostalgic, to angry, then missed him (or what I thought he was). Some days I feel good, optimistic and feel happy that I am getting over him. Then some days, I feel pain that it confuses me how I can keep cycling from these emotions. Every day since we broke up, he has tried reaching out wanting to get back together. My hearts wants to, but my brain says HELL NO! So far, my brain is winning. I value myself enough to not be treated that way. I have standards of treatment and to me, that was unacceptable, non-negotiable. I keep asking myself "if you get back together with him, can you trust him again?" My answer is always NO! I will just be miserable wondering daily if he's faithful. That is not healthy for me emotionally and mentally. The sad part was, we were ring shopping already. I mourn for "what could have been", I mourn for the man who I thought he was. It doesnt help that he's sending me sweet and loving messages, but I am standing firm on my decision. I refused his invitation for lunch to talk. I know its a bad idea to see him. I'm afraid that it might set me back. Sometimes, you need to teach people how to treat you. Sometimes, you have to hurt so much to maintain your standards and keep you value and dignity.

I am angry at him for putting myself in this situation where I love him but can no longer be with him. I guess I am here for just some support. I know I am not going back to him. I just cant do that to myself. Between me and him, I chose me. I am simply seeking words of encouragement here for days that I am feeling low. It's not always easy to stay strong on days I feel vulnerable. Words of encouragement would be nice to help me sustain. I value your support since I don't talk to anyone about my pain. If you have reached this far in your reading, I thank you for taking your time. Thank you all in advance. I appreciate the time you take and your support for a stranger who needs you.

You're right. Leaving him was a great decision. You will find someone better, and while this man may have many qualities that you adore, he lacks loyalty and respect. No healthy relationship can exist without respect and boundaries.

It takes strength to leave someone you care about but sometimes it's for the best. Some guy will be with you and will be happy to have a strong woman at his side to make great memories with. At that point, it will be abundantly clear why things didn't work out with this other guy.

Cheers.

GLYC, thank you for you kind words and support. It made me cry just having a complete stranger respond to my post. And not just a stranger, but a man's perspective. You are absolutely correct. I am glad that you said that he may have many qualities that I adore, he lacks loyalty and respect. Even though I know that, it makes a bigger impact when someone says it to me. I keep telling myself that it's his loss because I am a quality woman and that is hard to find. Somehow, that pacifies me to a certain extent. Helps me get through another day. I still cry often. I hope my heart catches up with my head soon because the pain hurts a lot. Thank you for your kind words, optimism, and words of wisdom. I am looking forward to the day when this pain will become a distant memory. One thing I will never do is become a bitter person. I cannot allow this man to change the kind-hearted person that I am. Won't happen.

You handled all of this perfectly. "Once again, you have breached my trust. You have taken my love for granted. Maybe not now, but someday, you will find the value in being with someone like me. I wish the best". Best response possible.

He was given a second chance, which he shouldn't have even got (you said how you were cautious about things afterwards, well, that cautious feeling would never end, how could you trust him, he disqualified himself)

You're right about not acting bitter. It's best just to say your piece and move on. You can still be thankful for the good memories you had without taking him back into your life.

And as always. You can only control how you show up. You were loyal, honest, trusting, and loving. I can tell by reading your responses how well put together you are. Never settle for less than you deserve.

To make a long story short, I had broken up with my bf (a month ago) who cheated on me twice, to quote you: but i'm going to read your whole post regardless okay so after reading your sad story i came to the conclusion that this guy is using you for his own selfish gain, and will not change you love him and hope he will but he wont, so u can either continue to be in this toxic relationship or be alone for a couple of years while u figure it out... and u will figure it out but it wont be in 1 night or even a months most likely but this guy is like a drug to you and u need to cut it of, take it from some one who is about to tell his girl of months he has a problem, and i'm about to do this because i love her more then getting my high

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dont you deserve the same ?

And your heart will learn to know the person who he is and not just who he pretends to be.
You will realize in the future that this decision gave yourself and your heart the opportunity it deserved the whole time.

Missing someone or an idea of someone is naturally and good and important. It is also something that fades and gives opportunities for a better future.

Good luck

greenemerald...OMG!! I have so much respect for you and am hoping "lovemenot" and other women on this site will read your post!! Of course you miss him and it doesn't help that he keeps contacting you, but you know you are worthy of more. You speak of yourself in such positive, loving ways. You are not wondering if this was your fault. You know it is bad to see him. You know you can't be "friends". You know that mourning for what could have been and who you thought he was is natural, but unrealistic. You were ring shopping so thank goodness you found out when you did. You are a intelligent, wonderful example to all the women out there who have been misused. I am so happy that you took the time to write in!

The decision of leaving him is good in my sense because it's better to live single or gave some space to one who hurt someone many times in a day. I hope you will find a guy soon who loves you much and may not cheat ever in life.

Snow White, thank you for your kind response. Logically, I know that I have exhibited strength. Emotionally, I must admit I feel weak. I cry just about every day. I often ask myself why I keep crying for someone who breached my trust twice. Why my heart hurts and why I still think of him all the time. I wish there is a simple answer to that. Unfortunately, I am seeking a logical explanation for an emotional question. I read something sometime ago that when one faces a big decision, never use emotions to make such decision. Why? Because emotions constantly change. What feels good now is not going to feel good tomorrow or next week or next month. Ever remember a time when you were so happy and excited? I'm certain that those emotions were not felt every single day. Some days you feel good, other days you are frustrated, some days are just ok, and other days just plainly hurt so bad. Emotions are just too unreliable to base big decisions on. But LOGIC...logic does not change at all. It is based on facts and evidence. What is right currently will always be right tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that.
For women who are reading this, don't stay or leave a relationship based on your emotions. If you are angry and want to break it off, just wait. It might be the wrong decision once you are calm and think logically. Or if you are so in love so you stay, just wait. It might be the wrong decision once you think logically.

As a woman, I am fueled by emotions. I can't help it. We, women, are designed to have easy access to our emotions and this is a very good thing. Ladies, never become a calloused person because you have been hurt one too many times. Our easy access to our emotional responses, the ability to care deeply and openly, and become vulnerable is a gift. There are 3.5 billion men in this planet and they do not have what you have....easy access to your emotions. You have the ability to quickly access compassion for others, love deeply, hurt deeply, and a few minutes later, be able to laugh at something a friend says while you are still wiping your tears. Isn't that a gift in itself? Its a strength. The only time your emotions betray you is when you do not use it with logic. These two should match and when they don't, always go with logic.

Easier said than done. I know. I am living that right now. But I am not going to apologize for crying a lot and missing him. I am a woman. I am operating the way I am supposed to operate. Emotional. It's hard. These days I am using my pain to workout hard at the gym. The tricky part was when a song came on while working out and it broke me down so suddenly I had to walk out of the gym to cry. Maybe what keeps me going is my high sense of self-worth and value. And the thought that it is very easy to replace a man who constantly cheats. There's a lot of them out there. I can get another cheater tomorrow if I want to. Therefore, he is easily replaceable (not that I'm looking for another cheater), so not having him in my life to hurt me anymore is not a loss, but a GAIN. A WIN. However, a good, smart, loyal, beautiful, compassionate, and loving, self-respecting woman is hard to come by and not easily replaced. So, this is a BIG LOSS for him. He gambled an amazing woman, and sadly, he lost. That's not my fault. That is ALL HIS.

I hope some women can learn from my pain. It is real. It is raw. I cry often in my solitude, in my car, in the shower, when I go to bed, or just about anywhere where no one can see me cry. But pain builds character. It has the ability to force you to confront your own self-worth, self-love, self-respect. My ex never had to worry about me choosing between him or another man. I would always choose him. I was loyal to him. I love him. The day he no longer acted as a team, but instead a rival, an enemy, a foe....he lost. Why? Because when he places me in a position where I have to choose between me or him, I will always choose me no matter how soooo badly it hurts. I am loyal to me more. I love me more.

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Yami9736, thank you for your response. Thank you for also saying that after reading my story, you came to the conclusion that this guy is "using you for his own selfish gain and will NOT change". Even though I know that logically, it really helps when I hear it from someone, especially coming from a man. Why? Because men can relate to other men better, therefore, you are of an expert in male minds more than I am.

I can forgive 1 indiscretion. Humans are flawed, so I can understand one assuming the circumstances seem reasonable. But 2 indiscretions? That is premeditated. A deliberate act. A blatant disrespect and disregard for the other person. That is asking a lot from me to sign up... once again.

I actually said this to him after I forgave him the first time. I said "I can work with one mistake. But if it happens again, that is no longer a mistake but instead, a pattern. A character flaw. I cannot work with character flaw". And he assured me that he would never do it again. But he failed to keep his words.

They say "a good predictor of future behavior is past behavior". I know that if I even think of forgiving him, this pattern will not stop. He will never change. He can't. It is part of his character. And sadly, I don't have what it takes to make this work. This requires "doormat" qualities that I just do not have.

Thank you for responding to my post and offering your support.

Awesome post Emerald. I like your responses a lot. I feel like we may have read some of the same books and articles before? Haha
You're right. Generally, men are the more logical beings whereas women are more emotionally based. And as a result, we tend to communicate and think differently.
Think about the saying "Men are from mars, and women are from venus" (from what ive heard, that's also the title of a great book on this topic).
It's great that you recognize that and it will only help you.
I think it's equally important for both sexes to understand this dynamic, it will benefit the possibility for a healthy relationship with good communication to exist.

I also agree that past behavior is a pattern to future behavior.
And while people may be able to become a better version of themselves, the majority of who they are will stay the same.

Honestly, if I met a woman that I was attracted to and they handled themselves the way that you do, I would be all over them.
Without a doubt, lots of other men in your area are going to be thinking the same thing when they meet you.

GLYC, hahaha, that actually made me laugh when you said that we may have read some of the same books and articles!! I needed that laugh, so thank you for that. I have read a lot of books and articles just to be more educated about men behavior, human dynamics, communicating to men in a way they can understand (less emotion, less words, more logic, straight to the point LOL), etc. We all have to deal with the opposite sex whether it is a romantic relationship, family, relatives, business, so why not learn how to communicate to them in an effective way, right? That explains why I am more logical than an average woman. It is not bragging or inflating myself. This was years in the making. It took knowledge and implementing the knowledge for it to become second nature. It was odd initially, but over the course of time, it became easier.

Yes, the book "Men are from mars and women are from venus" is a great book. Men and women should read that book. It will only make one have a better perspective of how the opposite sex mind works. I think we can always get better at this.

I agree, people can change but it takes a lot to change. One has to really want it and I mean...REALLY WANT IT. It is like going on a diet or a workout routine. You want to embark on one. You know what you are supposed to do. You have the knowledge to get it started. But if one is inconsistent and feel uncomfortable with the process, likely they will stop trying even if they really want to change. If it is even a half-hearted want, it will not make a meaningful difference. But as you said, most people tend to have a default setting. A baseline of character which they tend to go back to.

Your last comment about you meeting a woman who handled herself the way that I do, you would be all over them and lots of men in my area would be thinking the same is a GENEROUS COMPLIMENT! Thank you very much! Please understand that I am not being full of myself when I say this, but I am a very solid woman. Meaning, I have a lot to offer in a relationship. I consider myself beautiful (and a lot of men seem to think so), I often get a lot of compliments on my looks, I hit the gym often and also have a personal trainer which means physically, I look good enough to get sponsorship from a supplement company. I speak 3 different languages, I am finishing my graduate degree now and soon be in a doctoral program, and above all, I am humble, smart, compassionate, educated, love deeply, caring, loyal, and brave enough to risk being hurt each time. A lot of beautiful women often bank on their looks only, but I often believe that one also needs to be beautiful on the inside in order to become a complete package. Looks can only get one so far.

The funny thing is, someone like me still gets cheated on (that wasn't really funny, but you understand what I mean). BUT I also know that it has nothing to do with me. Instead, it's the character flaw of the other person. Some people just do not value the same things I do. And I cannot compete with that, nor do anything about that. I just have no control over that. Like you said, I can only control how I show up. I could have been a celebrity and still have this happened to me. In fact, even celebrities are not remotely sheltered from infidelities.

The sun is going to set soon. The nights have always been more difficult since more idle time to think. I have no control over the sun setting, so I guess another night to overcome. Maybe some tears along the way. But they say "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger".....except for bears. Bears will definitely kill you!!! Hahaha! What I have forgotten to mention was what I had gained when I left my ex. And this is, by far, very important: PEACE OF MIND. Although I miss him, I no longer worry about being cheated on. Worry if he is telling me lies. Worry about him doing the right thing this time. Worry about finding him again on a dating site. Worry about him dating another woman while telling me he loves me. Wondering if he is talking to someone else. He can do whatever he wants now since we are no longer together. I'd rather have that than him doing whatever he wants WHILE we are still together. My mind is now peaceful. My heart aches, but my mind is now worry-free. I am sad, but the mental torture has finally stopped. That was excruciating. There is nothing like peace of mind.

By the way, I looked at your profile and saw that you are only 25 years old. You seem pretty mature and have great and sound advice for a young man. Kudos to you for the knowledge you have at such a young age. Impressive!

Hooo!, thank you for your support. A quote once says, "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them!". I believed it. And I also believe that he does not have the qualities to make a good boyfriend. Not for me, at least. He may be good for someone else who simply wants something casual and meaningless, but not the kind of partnership I am seeking for.

I find it sad when you invest your all into someone, only to realize they were just a figment of your imagination. A mirage. A colorful illusion masked in a breathing, living human being. Sometimes, certain people can be so heartless and cold. It is a shame.

"If your significant other is charged in the court of law for loving you so much, is there enough evidence to convict him?" AAahhh, I love this! This is an easy one. My ex would never be sitting in jail for this charge. All 12 juries would unanimously say "Not guilty". Even a high caliber and seasoned prosecutor wouldn't know how convict him on this one.

You're right. Life is composed of all sorts of relationships with the opposite sex, romantic ones, friendships, family, work, etc.
And it is important. Prior preparation leads to success. It takes time to learn because we aren't socially conditioned to understand it.
Women are naturally better at this stuff, but us men? No. Nobody ever taught me any of this stuff growing up. I never had a father to son chat about how to have a loving relationship. Some men just naturally do the right things, while there are some men that will never understand it.

Sounds good about the book, I'll have to pick it up. Along with several others already on my list (The 5 Love Languages, How to Win friends and influence others, corey waynes next book when it comes out).

And no, you're not being full of yourself. Everybody should be happy with who they are, and if they aren't, they need to ask themselves "why" and take corrective action.
If you aren't happy with yourself, you're always with someone you dislike. Never lose that, you should be seeing yourself as the prize. And know that you are worthy of great relationships. Working out is important, naturally people will become more confident and attractive to others if they're doing that consistently. It changes how you carry and present yourself. A healthy body and a healthy mind are a key to success. And your career choice is spot on. I'm glad you found the strength to move onto something new that will make you happy (I'm in the same process, and weeks from being done). Never settle for mediocrity, in career or relationships.

That Bear comment! Hahaha
And yes, if he finds someone new. He's someone else's problem now.
It's okay to feel pain, that will likely carry on for a while, until you meet someone new and start creating new memories.
At that point, you will hardly ever think of this guy, and when you do, it will only be a brief moment of curiosity, nothing more.

Thank you for the compliment. Like you, its been years in the making. Mistakes on my part, followed by self-correcting behavior.
After losing some of the types of women I had always wanted, I finally reached the point where i said, "**** this, I'm tired of getting burned, this has to change"
And i just started reevaluating everything, reading books/articles/videos, talking with people who actually had the type of relationships I wanted (it's so rare for people to have the type of relationships that I want). The great thing about reading, is you can learn from other people's mistakes, and when you encounter a similar situation you already know what to do. Plus, you have to learn how to embody this stuff, as it gets infinitely times harder when a person gets emotionally invested to do the right things. There's always that voice telling you to do something else, and a simple google search will tell you to do the wrong thing (if you're looking for it), while giving you a BS justification for it even though it definitely won't work. I can still always fine tune some things, but overall, I'm happy with my approach and how I show up.

While, i still get some curveballs thrown at me as well, I'm pretty good at staying objective, emotionally centered, and calm.
Course, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, that's the reality of things. When you understand some of this, you just know what needs to be done and can sometimes predict what's going to happen. You can see the evidence behind it in not only in your own dating life, but also in others dating lives.

And when you create a successful, healthy relationship there's no limit to how much you will benefit others and their relationships. People may look at you as a template for success. And your kids? Well, they will see firsthand what a truly loving relationship looks like and they will learn to emulate that when they grow up. Which is part of the beauty of understanding all of this.

Besides if things never work out for you, all I'll have to say is about that is, "When are you flying out to meet me for drinks?" haha

GLYC, this is going to sound funny, but I actually own the books you have mentioned (The 5 Love Languages and How to Win Friends and Influence People). We seem to seek the same knowledge hahaha. I dont' read fiction books. I prefer to read books that have real life applications. I also have the books "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love", "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and They are All Small Stuff", "How to Handle Major Crisis", "100 Secrets of Happy People", and "Five". The book Five is about what one plans to do in the next 5 years. This has nothing to do with career, but personal growth. What is that you have always wanted to do? If you only have 5 years to live, what would you change? , etc. This book actually has blank spaces where you can actually write stuff down. There would be questions and some blank spaces for you to fill. Interesting actually.

I am familiar with Corey Wayne a little. He caters to mostly men, so I don't listen to him much. But I like his "your best negotiation position is to be able to walk away and mean it". Agreed. Having said that, I can only assume that your style of approaching women is probably very Corey Wayne like, right? haha. Considering you probably read his book 1,000 times as he suggests LOL. Personally, some of his takes I do not agree. I am not saying that he is wrong. Just some of his tips will not work on a woman like me. I have seen some of his videos and I thought, "Uh uh..no no no, that's not gonna work for me. Hell no. Try again." haha

Career wise, I have already started this master's program a few months back before my relationship had ended, so this is not a new endeavor to replace my newfound time. You had mentioned that you are weeks from being done. Is this an academic endeavor as well?

In my life, this is definitely not my first heartbreak. However, the last time I have experienced infidelity was when I was in my early 20's. So, it has been a while since I have experienced betrayal. The odd thing about the ex that had cheated on me 20+ years ago is that, he found me on social media, reached out, still remorseful for what he did (20+ years later). Kept hinting at starting over, but I did not entertain that. I still like him as a person since he was actually honest enough and confessed the infidelity on his own. I can respect someone who, at least, be honest and owned up to their mistakes. I could have forgiven him (ONCE) for what he did, if it was not a relative of mine he kissed. That would make for an awkward Thanksgiving dinner when all 3 of us are sitting at the dinner table, don't you think? Hahaha. That felt horrible actually...being betrayed by 2 people you love. I never told a soul. Everyone just wondered why we broke up and why I was so pissed at my relative. I did not want anyone in the family to hate her. She was actually a good person overall. Just young and stupid. So, I took the high road, kept mum about the whole thing, picked up the pieces of my badly shattered heart, and focused on healing. Did I recover from that? Absolutely 100%. Did I become bitter from that? Absolutely not. It took some work on my end to come out a better person from all that. That's life for you. You recalibrate, you reload, and you reengage once again. Better. Wiser.

You mentioned that "it has been years in the making". You are only 25. Did you start this since you were......a fetus? Hahaha! Because honestly, it is impressive! The logic. The reasoning. Great perspective. The language. The delivery. The message you are trying to convey. The amount of sensitivity. Simply impressive! (Feeling like a professor grading from a rubric here). Not too many people seek out this type of knowledge, let alone a man. Nothing personal against men. I am simply saying that deep understanding regarding human dynamics and relationships are not something men would actually seek to understand at your age. I encourage you to delve more into this. Being on a different level of understanding than an average person places you in a high advantage point. Knowledge is power!

Today was an ok day. Slightly better than yesterday. It helps writing my thoughts here. I find it to be a safe venue. And I appreciate you writing back. Someone to talk to. I have plenty of friends, but I don't share with them this side of me.

When you mentioned that it is so rare for people to have the type of relationship that you want, what does that mean? Care to elaborate?

Drinks in Minnesota, huh? Hahaha. I actually have never been to Minnesota. Is it beautiful over there?

Haha, that's hilarious! You will have to shoot me some of your other recommendations.

Yes, Corey's book is catered towards men. Women can still benefit from it, as it helps them understand what they respond to. But it won't be as helpful.
Hmm, what do you mean by style of approaching women? As in talking to a random woman in the streets or?
I implement a lot of the things that he teaches, so I would say my approach is very similar to his.
I've read his book a number of times as well as watched a lot of his videos, I guess for me, he is much more relatable in comparison to other male authors and dating coaches. I really stand by what Corey teaches for the most part, I think that if you're using what he suggests, and it doesnt work, the woman probably wasn't all that into you, or else there was another guy in the picture that she had more history with. Wouldn't work on you?? I think I could prove that wrong (too cocky?). And if it didn't work? Well, I guess you'd be missing out on one hell of a sweet catch! Haha. Can you give an example of something that he's suggested that wouldn't work on you or you disagree with? I feel like you totally just went and watched a bunch of his videos. Hahaha

And yes, mines academic as well. Was kind of at a career stallmate position and I wasn't content with that. Decided i needed to progress my career.
Basically packed up all of my belongings, moved 3 hours away to attend school and start working towards the next adventure.

That's crazy that that happened 20 years ago, and he's reaching out again. I guess he regrets passing up a good thing when he had it.
Yeah, tough situation. Sometimes in Life you just need to roll with the punches.

And I would say I really started when I was 21-22. As in reading articles, books, etc. So its been occurring off and on for a few years.
Before that I was already naturally just learning from my own experiences and critiquing myself. Every time something ended or didn't pan out, I never put any blame on another person, I just looked at myself and what I could have done better. Really ransom, but when I started getting more into this stuff, I planned an awesome date with a woman, anyways I had made a mixtape for in my car for when we were driving from place to place, one of the songs was Tom Petty - Learning to Fly. She blew me off with the old "call me later to confirm" trick without answering (never call to confirm plans, why put your plans on hold for someone that feels "eh" about things). I pretty much listened to that song every single day and it always served as a reminder to self reflect on every way I could improve. I've probably heard that song 10,000 times.
Dorky, I know.

You really do sound like a professor with that statement, like the overly enthusiastic theatre type (I'll give you a B+ for effort). Hahaha

I definitely will continue reading, and learning about it. I think it's actually really enjoyable. And it really does place you at a serious advantage. The only bad part is how are her future lovers going to live up to her new expectations? Kidding, haha. But really. It takes a lot of the pressure off a person, when you can just go about with things and not really have to worry anymore since you know the answers, you can just slowly create the love story and just let it naturally evolve.

Well good, I'm glad I can help. It's fun talking with you.

For people to have the relationship that I want, I'm talking about a relationship built on serious trust (we both still hang out with our own separate friend groups and do our own things at times), lots of laughter (we still say dumb things and beat on each other like kids do, in a loving manner), and for the courtship to never end, meaning, we're always planning fun new activities together. There's a lot more a person could say. I just know I don't want to be involved in a house arrest relationship where I never see my friends, and where we only follow the exact same routine every week. Sorry, not my cup of tea.

Minnesota is great. Crazy weather. But I enjoy it. I like the array of scattered small towns, you can find all of these cool hole in the wall venues and places to eat with amazing food. All of the nature scenes. Driving through the open country. And if that's not your style, the Twin Cities pretty much have everything else.
Plus, our accents are awesome, and we have hot dish. Aye, Dontcha think bud? Haha

GLYC, What I meant by approaching women is basically your approach. But you've answered my question already since I can see that you are speaking like Corey. Haha. I have watched some of his videos since last year on and off. The reason why I don’t agree with some was that certain scenarios he gave actually happened to me, but his reasoning behind the woman’s action and my reasoning behind mine were completely different.

I do not agree with the “you only use text to set up a date”. I disagree. Here is my reasoning (and this is just my personal preference)… If a date is scheduled on a Monday for a Friday date, I would like to hear from a man between Monday and Friday. If a man does not text me at all, I would think he is not as interested or perhaps he has others he may be talking to. It is reasonable for me to think that if he is that interested in me, he would like to send a quick “I hope your morning is off to a great start” or "Just thinking of you and thought I would say a quick hello" before Friday. I see no text in between Mon-Fri as a lukewarm behavior. And if a man constantly acts this way, I would feel inclined to moving on and finding one who wants to engage. And yes, there were some men who I was into that I ended up not getting together with again due to this lukewarm approach. Want another example? I believe in a man calling to confirm. It is thoughtful and chivalrous. A very gentleman thing to do. I find it very attractive.

But as I said, that’s the approach I respond to. I am kind of an old school when it comes to courtship. I don’t respond well to ambiguity. The ones where I have to wonder too much. It is taxing. And I have too much schoolwork to do to deal with that. Hahaha. If you are interested, show me. I value consistency. If you have to act slightly indifferent so I will be more intrigued and interested, understand that you are not the only man vying for my attention. So I may pass you up to give the really interested one the chance. Those are just examples of what I do and do not respond to. And if a man insists on doing things the Corey way on those things I had mentioned? Well, I guess he’d be missing out on one hell of a sweet catch!

You seemed motivated to progress and even moved 3 hours away for that. Good for you.

That was actually very sweet of you to plan such an awesome date with that woman. I cannot really tell you why people these days accept dates and ghost. I have never, in my entire life, accepted a date and not show up. My word is golden. If I say I would be there, there has to be some emergency for me to cancel. And even then, I would give a courtesy call. Otherwise, I will be there. Some people are just too unreliable. Perhaps that is the reason why I like dates to be confirmed to make sure my time is not wasted. In your case, that woman was not decisive at all. There was nothing you did wrong or could have done differently. Even if she did not ask you to call later to confirm, highly likely she would still disappear. And no, I don’t think it is dorky that you listened to that song one too many times. If it helped bring clarity or self-reflection, why not? After all, songs are meant to touch the listeners.

The enthusiastic theater professor comment. I DO NOT produce B+ effort. No further comment. (Note to self: zero compliments moving forward).

“The only bad part is how are her future lovers going to live up to her new expectations?”…you actually lost me on this one. Honestly, you lost me on the entire paragraph. Hahaha. I don’t get it. English is my third language, so maybe I’m missing something here?

The kind of relationship you are seeking is reasonable, ideal, and seems like what most would want. So, why is this so rare? I suppose I need to keep in mind that you are in your 20’s and I am in my 40’s. But people on this side of the age spectrum? That is not rare at all. So you can look forward to your 40’s. haha

California here. A short drive to the beach. I love the city as well as the country feel. Some days I like to enjoy the nightlife the city has to offer. Other days, a relaxing drive up in the mountains or a scenic route. Food wise, I don’t really have any favorites. As long as the place serves veggies and protein, I'm good. Sounds like the Twin Cities would be a good place to see.

Thank you for that post. I think i have experienced something similar as you said.

I will agree with the texting thing to an extent, it's nice to send a little message that shows that you care, i think Corey says that as a lot of men talk women out of dating them through texts and phoneships. But its important not to become robotic. If women don't think you care, you're going to get rejected like you said, and they're going to find someone else. That’s what separates the player from Mr. Right. It’s pretty hard to recover from that, women will think you were just playing games or that you only suddenly care because they’re moving on. Some guys spiral out of control at that point because they realize they’re losing/lost her. And. When you mess things up early, you don’t have that complete strong emotional bond with her yet, I don't think you have as much of a chance.

I think i got burned pretty badly on that a few months ago. Maybe I took it too far, after a few weeks of only contacting her once a week. I guess I always figured if she really wanted to talk, she would just message me. Which I do think women should do, why hold back? You're also complicating things with that. Phones work both ways? I'm not a mind reader, I can't know if you’re upset or not content with things if you don't communicate. She basically told me everything you said, that she thought I wasn’t interested, that she thought i was blowing her off, and I got stood up.

Overall, It was unnecessary drama. I played it off to the best I could given the situation I was finding myself in, I called her (and her friends started calling her, interrupting our call, I’m thinking ..Great), asked what happened, and stood up for myself in an assertive but loving way and said if she had questions she could have asked me and that she could talk to me, she said she didn’t want to look desperate, but she was really apologetic with her 10 apologies or whatever, and sounded like she was ready to cry. I said that if she didn't want to see me, I would leave her alone, she said no. She randomly blurted out that she wasn't talking to other guys (I'm not sure if she thought I was talking to lots of girls or if she had found another guy. It was a weird thing to just randomly say, I asked nothing about that at all). She also thought since I didn't call to confirm that we weren't doing anything that day.

I didn't know what to say and felt like i was getting mixed signals, I said in an earlier text message that if she really wanted to make up for things she could meet me at one of the towns and buy me a beer since she left me waiting and i was literally out in the middle of nowhere, she rejected the idea with an excuse.

I kind of acted like a tool/made some mistakes in this part.
I admitted that a lot of guys do call to confirm, but that I didn’t. I tried using humor, got her laughing, I honestly figured if this was the last time we were going to speak, I was at least going to brighten things up and ease the tension. I just suggested maybe we could do something some other time, she said definitely, I asked when she was going to be free, she opened up her schedule. I said I just had to check my schedule and would call her sometime next week (as I just wasn't feeling like making definite plans immediately while I was being left alone at our meeting spot after an hour and a half drive, and was getting some second thoughts). Honestly, that was a bad move anyways. I should have just left it at "maybe some other time and walked". Afterall, would you leave someone you were interested in at your meeting spot alone? Hell no.

I tried calling her like 8 days later, but she never returned my call. I still don't really know what to think of the whole situation. I tried thinking for a solid month about what may have gone wrong with everything. Some of it might have had to do with what you said. You have to find that perfect mix, where she knows you want her, but that you will let her go if she wants that and despite that you still want her, you will still be happy and be moving on. And while I’ve developed a lot of emotional strength and an objective standpoint, its created where sometimes I follow technique too much, and I have more of a tendency to fall into the “Being a little too cold” approach and maybe a little robotic at times.

And who knows, maybe she would have blown me off anyways, and wasn't that into me. Or there was another guy in the picture, or all sorts of combinations and other things. But until this, I really felt like she was into things. Course, I guess if she was really into things, I think she would have called to clear up any uncertainties about the plans.

In regards to calling to confirm plans. Like you, my word is golden. If I say something, I mean it. I know that I'm going to uphold my half of the bargain. Also. It's not that I'm uninterested if I'm not reaching out, I just want to see effort put into me as well. So if we both have that mindset, how do things pan out? You either stallmate, or someone caves and you both win.

Obviously the situation sucked, I still wish things would have worked out a little better and could have lasted longer. It was a loss. I mean, duh. Otherwise I wouldn’t have written this with so much detail! Haha

Hey Greenemerald.
I understand the pain of a lost love due to several severe breaches of the relationship that puts you in the position of loving someone, but not being allowed to love them because you understand they are venom in your life. I believe you had it correct when you stated,
" I mourn for "what could have been", I mourn for the man who I thought he was. It doesn't help that he's sending me sweet and loving messages, but I am standing firm on my decision. "
Your pain is due to the possibilities that could have happened with the type of man you thought you were with, not because you miss this particular person, he isn't what you thought he was or what you want. Know that you're doing well enough, even though it's the most chaotic of pains, to keep away from him and make sure, when ready, to find ways to continuously keep the drive alive to find that life you're mourning right now.

GLYC, after you have provided the background, I have to say that yes, you have taken things a little too far. I can honestly say that if I was that woman, I would have reacted exactly as she did.

“Maybe I took it too far, after a few weeks of only contacting her once a week. I guess I always figured if she really wanted to talk, she would just message me. Which I do think women should do, why hold back?”

Here’s my response to that: In the first few dates, women are not really that comfortable yet reaching out to a man…especially when she hears crickets between dates. In most dating advice for women, they emphasized that women need to “lay back and let the man take the lead.” They explained that a woman should also take notice of the man's actions between dates. They said, even though dates are important, it is the man’s actions between dates that tells you if he is really interested in you. Does he call? Does he keep in touch? Does he text? Does he ask how you are doing? This is the element that you missed. Women, in general, love feeling special. This makes her feel special. The difference between men with lukewarm behavior and men who are genuinely interested (in my many years of dating) are those little things they did between dates. I am not saying that this is 100% of the time, but in all honesty, this is majority of the times.

I must point out that the dating coaches I often read are men who give advice to women. Why? Because they are men, they know how men think, they know what makes men think a woman is desperate, clingy, full of drama, etc. Here is my train of thought if I was that woman you were interested in: “Mmm…I really like him, but he never text me during the week before dates. If he thinks of me, he should want to text me or make a quick call. Maybe he is seeing or talking to other women. Maybe he is busy with work. Is he always going to be this busy once he is my bf? He is already too busy now while he is only a potential. If I’ll text and do the pursuing, he is going to think I’m desperate or clingy. He is the man so initially, he should be the one pursuing since I am not comfortable yet to reciprocate the pursuit. But here is this other man, John. He likes me, too. He shows it by keeping in touch. He seems to care more than GLYC, he asks me about my day and he says he thinks of me. This feels much better. I feel special. Maybe I should invest in John instead.”

As you can see, it is difficult for her to decipher your intentions. I think you played it way too cool that you ended up placing yourself in the category of “not as interested”. Because women get emotionally attached quicker than men, we have to be wiser on who we spend our time with to avoid getting hurt. In her eyes, you were a risky investment. While fictitious John was a safer bet. They always say “When a man shows you who he really is in the beginning, believe him”. Based on your actions, she believed that you were uninterested, therefore, she had to pull herself back in order to avoid getting attached.

Let me give you my own experience: let’s call the guy (who was my first choice) Guy A and the other guy (second choice) Guy B. So, I was really into Guy A. We had fun during our 2 dates. BUT, I would never hear from him between dates. It sucked. How was I supposed to grow my fond feelings of him when he could not even send one quick text to say hello? I thought “He can’t possibly be this busy. If he has time to sit in a toilet, he has time to send a quick hello. Maybe he’s not interested as much. I’m sure he has other women he is talking to. This is the only logical explanation because men who are genuinely interested would not be quiet the entire week”. So now, I have no choice but to do a compare and contrast Guy A and Guy B. Guy B made me feel special by keeping in touch between dates. He would say hello, that he was thinking of me, that he could not wait to see me again, etc. They were just quick and short messages every now and then. I felt that because he kept in touch, he really wanted me to know that his interest was real and was looking for a meaningful relationship. I was able to bond with him more with those short and quick text messages. Because he invested more time on me, I grew to like him more and more. As you can guess already, I did not pick the guy who was my 1st choice. He did not make me feel cherished and special. I chose Guy B instead.

“She also thought since I didn't call to confirm that we weren't doing anything that day.”

My point exactly. Men should confirm. If a man does not confirm, there really is no date. Think of it this way. If you are quiet the entire week, no text at all, made her feel you are not serious, she was not feeling special, and not even a date confirmation, that is a lot of emotional risk a woman has to take in your attempt to play it “cool”. We, women, find anguish in those actions, to be honest. We often think “this is not how a man behaves when he’s really into someone”. We don’t like that.

“I didn't know what to say and felt like i was getting mixed signals, I said in an earlier text message that if she really wanted to make up for things she could meet me at one of the towns and buy me a beer since she left me waiting and i was literally out in the middle of nowhere, she rejected the idea with an excuse.”

It pains me to read what you had said above. You said you were getting mixed signals from her. Well, the reason why was because you were giving her mixed signals for weeks. You seemed interested (taking her out on dates), yet uninterested (crickets between dates). That categorizes as mixed signals to me. And the “if you really wanted to make up for the things, you could meet me at one of the towns and buy me a beer." Of course she rejected the idea. I would have rejected the idea. It was a bold move on your part to say “if you really wanted to make up for things”. Make up for what? The date she did not think she had because you did not confirm? It even killed me more when you said “you could buy me a beer”. Ugh! A little…mmm……arrogant?? That didn’t really appeal to her softer side, hence, she declined. Your inaction (not confirming the date) led to her inaction (not showing up). So why is she the one making up for something you failed to do? As far as she was probably concerned, you kinda started this whole inaction thing.

“I just suggested maybe we could do something some other time, she said definitely, I asked when she was going to be free, she opened up her schedule. I said I just had to check my schedule and would call her sometime next week (as I just wasn't feeling like making definite plans immediately while I was being left alone at our meeting spot after an hour and a half drive, and was getting some second thoughts). Honestly, that was a bad move anyways. I should have just left it at "maybe some other time and walked". Afterall, would you leave someone you were interested in at your meeting spot alone? Hell no.”

Would you let a woman hear crickets between dates, feeling like you don't care, and NOT call to confirm the date if you were interested? Hell no. A little double standard here on your part. As far as I could see it, there was no date. As far as you could see it, there was. This could have been simply avoided by calling to confirm.

“I tried calling her like 8 days later, but she never returned my call.”

I hate to say it, but I would not return, what appears to be, a lukewarm attempt. 8 days, really? One could go on a cruise to the Bahamas, come back, and still would not hear from you. Or better yet, one could go to the moon (about 3 days), chill there for 1 day, then come back to earth (about 3 days), and still not miss a call or text from you. 8 days is just too long from someone who was supposed to be that interested.

“And while I’ve developed a lot of emotional strength and an objective standpoint, its created where sometimes I follow technique too much, and I have more of a tendency to fall into the “Being a little too cold” approach and maybe a little robotic at times.”

I agree. You followed it to the T. Emotions are fluid. Techniques are just guidelines, but one needs to be flexible a little to find that happy medium. Not texting AT ALL is bad. Texting too much is bad. There’s a happy medium there somewhere. A very short quick text between dates really makes a world of difference. Trust me. We like it when you text us. Women guard their emotions initially until we can see that you are investing. And then, we can start initiating the text messages, too. NO TEXT BETWEEN DATES FOR WEEKS = risky investment on our part.

“And who knows, maybe she would have blown me off anyways, and wasn't that into me. Or there was another guy in the picture, or all sorts of combinations and other things. But until this, I really felt like she was into things.”

I genuinely believe she liked you a lot based on her compliments, worrying about appearing desperate, almost crying, wanting to hear from you, wanting you to confirm, telling you that you were cute. These are not actions of women who are not interested. We just don’t care about these things if we don’t like a man. Was there another guy in the picture? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. But if I were to guess, highly likely there was. A guy who gave her more attention than you did. Why do I think this? Because when you started showing more interest, she left anyway. In her mind, it was probably too little too late. She had already invested in someone else. Hard to trade a safe bet for a somewhat risky one. But I have a nagging feeling she would have chosen you if you had just showed her clear interest.

“Course, I guess if she was really into things, I think she would have called to clear up any uncertainties about the plans.”

Here is the issue: you strictly followed a technique not to confirm a date. Not a chivalrous move. Due to that, she assumed there was no plan. If you did not reach out at all, it is fair that she did not reach out, too. After all, you are the man. It’s a potential relationship. It was your job to make her feel secure initially by confirming. I can understand that once she is comfortable, she could call you. But until she reaches that level of comfort, she would be hesitant to make that move and appear needy.

This is a shame because this was a case of miscommunication and too much techniques involved. I do apologize if my feedback may have appeared a little harsh (I hope not! But if they were, it is only tough love). So, forgive me. I am simply speaking on her behalf as well as making you understand how frustrating it is for us, women, when a guy appears uninterested (even though he really is into us). We let the man take the lead, but if you seem to be leading us towards a lot of guessing, confusion, and ambiguity, we tend to jump ship for fear of getting emotionally hurt. Let you intentions be clear. Don’t make her second-guess you. Focus on building TRUST. And in time, she will start trusting you, start trusting your intentions that you are for real. She will then feel comfortable initiating text and not worry about appearing needy because she already trusts you. You know what women value above all things? FEELING SAFE. As a man, you can provide that for her by making her feel that you are safe to put her heart on the line.

Are we good? Not mad at me, are you? LOL! It was a long response I had to make there. Even longer than my initial plea for some support. You're welcome. I'm exhausted. I need a nap. And some Ibuprofen. My head hurts. Haha

Hello Shoukon,
I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post. You are absolutely correct. It did place me in a position of loving someone, but not being allowed to love them at the same time. The tricky part about breaking up with someone who betrayed you is that: your principle mandates you to break ties even though the strong feelings are still there. Would have been easier if I fell out of love, or got bored, or felt the spark was gone, etc. But we can't always choose the easier route, right?

You are also correct in saying that my pain is due to the possibilities that could have happened with the type of man I thought I was with, not because I miss this particular person. I think it boils down to habits. I got used to having him in my life that it, understandably, left a void. The text messages I was getting are no longer there. The nice times together are no longer there. The phone calls. His attention. His presence. Because if someone would have asked me this prior to meeting my ex:
"Hey, I have this handsome, accomplished, charming man I would like for you to meet. He will make you feel very special, cherished, and adored. BUT at some point in the future, he is going to cheat on you twice. After that, you may no longer trust him or believe him. Are you interested?"

Me: "HELL NO!" (See how easy and painless I would have answered that?) Until feelings are involved, then it becomes a big mountain to climb.

However, people like you and others in this forum who cared to respond really made a lot of difference. I cannot stress that enough. People who are supportive here are really starting to brighten my days. I have to say I have not shed tears the last couple of days and have been laughing a lot again. Of course, my mind wanders back to him sometimes, but lately I catch myself thinking "What a low life!" Which, I think, is great because my heart and my head are starting to work together now. They used to operate independently.

To give you an example: last night I received a text from him saying: "Should I assume that you no longer want a ring?"
The freshly-broken-up me would have thought that was a sweet message. Meaning, he still wants to give me a ring by mentioning it.
The last-night me thought "Is he smoking crack? Which part of we are over led him to believe I still want a ring? Yes dear, it is very safe to assume that."
I know, I know. A little mean thought, but his question practically begged for such thought.
However, he was greeted with silence. That was a silly question to ask. He will figure it out.
If it's over, what would possess a man to ask that? Is this a Hail Mary pass?

I am hopeful that the great days are coming soon (since it is starting to feel that way). In the meantime, I will continue to come here for some great support.
Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Not mad at all. I appreciate the honesty and the well thought out response. I'll take honesty, over being told BS to feel good any day of the week.
It's what I needed to hear. And is definitely the kind of tweak I needed. Its really the subtle changes that make the difference.
Its nice to hear a female perspective on it for a change. One that actually has a healthy and well-built personality.

And it's not like I was a complete cold person, I was caring and sweet when i reached out and spoke with her while arranging dates.
But when you rely on techniques to the point where you limit yourself from contacting someone due to some special rules. Eh, bad way to go. Too much technique.

Yeah, there is a lot of dating material that suggests men need to chase, and women need to avoid chasing/reaching out or else they will turn off a man. I disagree with the ones that say men need to chase, but they do need to initiate. And like you said, it doesn't take much. Less really is more.
And that's definitely true about the comfort thing with women reaching out. Some women will reach out right away, but you're right, in the beginning, yeah not very often.

You're right about the buy me a beer comment, that was pretty douchey. I actually had a comment written next to it, that said that, but I deleted it.
The better response would have been "Come on, get out here, ive been waiting all week to see you"

I guess you live and you learn, and when you mess things up with a woman you really connect with, well, those are the ones that really hurt (and also the ones where you will learn the most from).

Thank you for the feedback,

-also I will likely say more, or comment about your ex boyfriend post stuff, but I need sleep. Sleeping in a thunderstorm tonight, stoked, love that feeling with sleeping with rain hitting the roof. Soo relaxing

-and, exhausted? Go get some sleep woman! It's what, 3:00 on a Wednesday in California? Haha

GLYC, hahaha. It's not 3 am yet, but it's definitely Wednesday here. I am in the medical field. Hours are long. I am use to sleeping very, very late as well as sleep deprivation. The price one pays when trying to save the world.

"The better response would have been "Come on, get out here, ive been waiting all week to see you"

That was perfect. And smooth. And very manly. Sexy. Sweet. Subtly persistent which shows interest. Charming. All rolled into one.

It makes me wanna show up at the meeting spot. And I'm not even involved in this equation. Hahaha.

Man: "If you really wanna make it up, you can buy me a beer". = "I really wanna see you"
Woman: (thinking) "Who the heck does he think he is?"

Man: "Come on, get out here. I've been waiting all week to see you" = "I really wanna see you"
Woman: (thinking) "That was irresistibly charming. Mmmm... I like that. Been waiting to see him, too. I better go"

See? That goes to show you how you can package something differently and still get the same message across.

Your "if you really wanna make things up, you can buy me a beer" comment is not a bad one at all. But this comment should have been saved for when she was already comfortable with you. When she no longer had doubts about your intentions. When you have texted her between dates. When you two were already closer. When she was already comfortable reaching out to you, texting you, calling you. There's a time and place for this comment. It is witty and in a teasing manner. You just happened to use it at the wrong time. And when you act like the Cricket Whisperer, you don't have the luxury of using this comment just yet. LOL

And no, I'm not going to bed just yet either. Haha

Medical field. Great decision, it fits your nature perfectly.
I know several nurses, and the woman I mentioned was well on her way to becoming one, they make great lovers and friends.
They have such a great nurturing, humble, ambitious (that curriculum is tough!) and caring side to them, they also have a tendency of having a really good sense of humor (Partially, I also think it's a necessity to cope with some of the stressors that come with working in regards to human life). Or based on my experiences at least.


"Should I assume that you no longer wish to have a ring?"
-If it's over, what would possess a man to ask that? Is this a Hail Mary pass?-

It's a terrible response on his part. He's essentially bribing you (with the idea of marriage), that if you two get back together, he will propose, you two will live happily ever after, etc. And he's hoping to instill that happily ever after image back in your head to reel you back in. Which, I'm sure it made you think for a second.
But you're smarter than that, and why would you want to marry a cheater? You value honesty and commitment, he obviously doesnt.

It is definitely a Hail Mary. What are you supposed to think? "Oh my God, yes! You treated me like I have no value, completely took me for granted, and that our time together meant nothing, but now you're thinking otherwise. Yes yes yes, Ask me to Marry you pleeeease!"

Unless of course I'm misinterpreting this and he's British, "Should I assume that you no longer wish for me to ring you on your cellular device?"
Hahaha

"I know several nurses, and the woman I mentioned was well on her way to becoming one, they make great lovers and friends. They have such a great nurturing, humble, ambitious (that curriculum is tough!) and caring side to them, they also have a tendency of having a really good sense of humor (Partially, I also think it's a necessity to cope with some of the stressors that come with working in regards to human life)."

- Amen! Great assessment.

"And he's hoping to instill that happily ever after image back in your head to reel you back in. Which, I'm sure it made you think for a second."

-Wrong assessment. I did not even think that even for a millisecond. Here's what I thought soon as I saw the message: "Is he smoking crack?"

I'm in a good place right now. When I mourn, I mourn hard. Once that's out, I'm on my way to bigger and better things.

I actually read my initial post last night and saw the stark difference between where I was at then (days ago) and where I am not now.

Time and resilience is all I needed.

And no, he better not ring my phone either. Hahaha. I'm not interested in any kind of ring.

He mistook my kindness for weakness. Bad move.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Oh my God, yes! You treated me like I have no value, completely took me for granted, and that our time together meant nothing, but now you're thinking otherwise. Yes yes yes, Ask me to Marry you pleeeease!

---

Im sorry to hear that you been treated like you have no value [MENTION=85795]GLYC[/MENTION] . But at least you got offer to get married.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Im sorry to hear that you been treated like you have no value [MENTION=85795]GLYC[/MENTION] . But at least you got offer to get married.

---

Someone wants to marry me? Wow, things are really looking up!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GLYC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Someone wants to marry me? Wow, things are really looking up!

---

Yeah think its the same chick you dated 4 years ago. Your grandmothers best friend.

[Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And here I was...

Wasting my precious time and brain power giving solid advice about texting & confirming

Not realizing you're about to get hitched!

GLYC, I missed this part of what you said.

"It's a terrible response on his part."

Here's the thing. There was no conversation. He was not responding to anything I said. It was an out of the blue question.
I was just going about my day and a text popped up. "Should I assume that you no longer want a ring?"

Regardless, it is still a Hail Mary as you said. A desperate move due to several unsuccessful attempts.
That was the other day. I did not respond to that.

Yesterday, I received a "I hope that you had a good day" text. Did not respond to that either.

Today, I received a "Hey love, I hope that you are having a great morning" (with a heart emoji). I did not respond to that either.
The boldness actually baffles me. Hey love? I mean, come on!

Tonight, I got a "Baby, I still have your license plate in my account. I can add you so that you won't have to pay the toll roads". Again, unsolicited text.

I feel like responding with "There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard".

But I won't give him the luxury of enjoying my sense of humor! Haha

I meant response I guess just as a general phrase. Bad English probably on my part.

Yeah, bold moves.

Really if a woman doesnt respond once..
..Obviously though he did the **** ups of all **** ups. He thinks he can do/say something to win you back.
In reality, there isn't a single text message in the world that can save his situation. Actually, in reality there's really nothing he can do period to save his situation.

I'm going to laugh really hard if his next one is a Google'd text message from one of those "Say these simple words to get her to respond to your text message" articles.
"Oh, my god, you'll never guess what just happened!"

That Mastercard line is hilarious. I actually laughed out loud at that one. I want you to send it. But dont. Hahaha