Girl I'm interested in is a stripper

I'm an attractive 19 year old guy and I recently met quite a pretty girl at college. At first we didn't really know each other, other than I thought she was cute. Then one of my friends is a good friend of her's and gradually we got to know each other a little better. I wasn't really interested in starting a relationship but after I've gotten to know her more she seems like a very sincere and nice person and we've got quite a bit in common. There just feels something between us because she seems interested in me as well. We are basically friends as of now but seems like it's more than that. I want to ask her out but there's a little thing.

The dilemma is that she's a stripper and I'm worried she may think if I ask her out that that's the reason I approached her. I've heard from quite a few people that you shouldn't date a stripper. But I don't think her job reflects her as a person.
But I don't want her to think that's the reason I asked her out,(assuming I will) because I'm not just trying to get a booty call.
I would like to get to know her better and if I start a relationship, the reason I get into one is hoping it will be something more.
But that's way ahead of where I am now.


Basically I'm interested in a nice girl that I'm friends with and she seems interested in me as well. But she just happens to be a stripper and a little more wild than I am.

Any advice about this?

If you are considering becoming involved in a serious relationship, I suggest you consider how your family and close friends will react to your dating a stripper. If they are unaccepting of this lifestyle choice, I would really be careful. As much as people would like to believe that their families shouldn't be involved in relationship choices, they ARE (unless you are disconnected) and they have a lot of impact.

I am quite sure others will disagree.

Well my mother would really have no problem with it, I'm completely sure of that. But my father is one of the people who told me not to date a stripper after I told her I met a nice girl who has that profession. But he really just generalized it and wouldn't be that big of an issue in my mind because I know him. It's the person I'm interested in and if we were to date I don't believe he would have much if any problems with that if he met her.
I don't really care what others may think about it as long as she's a really nice person and we click, her profession isn't anywhere to the top of my list.

Thanks for the advice

I agree with shh!, but I never worry about my family and shit like that til its too late. So she's a stripper, big deal. If you like her and she likes you, then ask her out. There's always something about the people you're interested in that could be a potential turn-off, but its up to you to see past those things if you believe the person is or could be worth having a relationship with. :)

Well, I think maybe you DO care (at least a little) about what others think, or you wouldn't be asking!

You might want to ask your father how your mother might be expected to react. I have a very hard time believing that any mom would be happy about a stripper dating her 19 year old son. I, for one, would drop dead of a heart attack, and I am a fairly progressive mother.

That being said, I think you also ought to consider what exactly you will tell you friends that she does for a living, and also consider how you would feel about your friends showing up to her workplace. Also, what about patrons who recognize her on the streets? Most guys wouldn't be okay with that.

I agree with shh!. You have to realize that if you DO start a relationship with her, you're never going to see anything that 100 horny/gross/old/young men haven't seen, including some of your friends. People pass judgement on that sort of thing, and it can affect you too. You're never going to have her body to yourself, and she's getting paid to help arouse other men. Is there ever going to be good intimacy, or a lack of jealousy? Not likely.

Also, why did you preface that entire thing with "I'm an attractive 19 yr old guy..."? That made my arrogance-meter explode.

Yeah you are right shh! about me worrying a little bit lol, because otherwise I wouldn't have posted it.
But my parents are more worried about me getting into a relationship with the wrong type of person more than what they do for a living. As for my mother, she honestly wouldn't care if a girl I was dating was a stripper, just be suprised at the most. I've already talked to her about it.

I'm not a huge party guy and she likes to party quite a bit and is a little wild. I've almost always been somewhat judgemental or even indimitated by those types of women because of their appearance of being shallow or snobby in a way. But like I said, I've gotten to know this girl and she's not like I perceived, she's nice and we'ere good friends and she says she likes the job because of the money she gets.
As far as the other men thing is concerned, it really doesn't bother me. She's just showing her body, it's just a human body. She even says there is quite a bit of creeps but most are just there to hang out and have fun.

I posted this mainly for my reassurance of actually asking her out because I don't want to go out with a wild drinking party girl who sleeps with everyone and is about as deep as a kitchen sink.
Another reason why I posted this is because if I date I look for something more than just some good times, I'd like it to become something more but not entirely sure if she just wants to fool around or is actually interested in dating. She's not too flirtatious or sexual which comes off as her not just wanting to mess around.
It's just new for me so I just needed some other opinions. I really appreciate it.

I would like to suggest a movie you can watch - it is quite old, but a classic. It is called "The Blue Angel" starring Marlene Dietrich. The situation reminds me of you.

Does she do drugs?

She only drinks and little and smokes, both of which I don't do or like though.

OK well basically you have to think of this. Would you get jealous knowing other people are looking/touching your girlfriend? Do you respect her? and would you continue to do so?

You have to weigh out all these things against how you would react to differnet things that may come up. As I understand boyfriends aren't allowed in the club while their girlfriend is "performing" would you be ok with that? Don't worry about what others would think of the siituation as it is your decision in the end. But I still think you really ahve to take all under consideration before you decided to get involved with her.

hey davy How a going. Your situation is kind of hard you like this women i doubt your parents would like you dating her its up to you in the end. I think your friends would be like wow thats great. How would you feel knowing what type of job she does would you be cool with that fact that she giving guys lap dances and maybe even blow jobs? i really doubt u would be. You could be the nicest women in the world u have to judge what she doing for a living and see if you can deal with that good luck

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Davy19

I'm an attractive 19 year old guy and I recently met quite a pretty girl at college. At first we didn't really know each other, other than I thought she was cute. Then one of my friends is a good friend of her's and gradually we got to know each other a little better. I wasn't really interested in starting a relationship but after I've gotten to know her more she seems like a very sincere and nice person and we've got quite a bit in common. There just feels something between us because she seems interested in me as well. We are basically friends as of now but seems like it's more than that. I want to ask her out but there's a little thing.

The dilemma is that she's a stripper and I'm worried she may think if I ask her out that that's the reason I approached her. I've heard from quite a few people that you shouldn't date a stripper. But I don't think her job reflects her as a person.
But I don't want her to think that's the reason I asked her out,(assuming I will) because I'm not just trying to get a booty call.
I would like to get to know her better and if I start a relationship, the reason I get into one is hoping it will be something more.
But that's way ahead of where I am now.


Basically I'm interested in a nice girl that I'm friends with and she seems interested in me as well. But she just happens to be a stripper and a little more wild than I am.

Any advice about this?

---

here this will help you judge if you would be able to date her and be her boyfriend .

Hey limpdic k , your girl was rubbing her ass on my C OCK last night for as low as a 10 $ ho . I was able to smell her herpy covered C unt through her slutty outfit .
Not to mention your girl is MY B ITCH every friday night at (name of strip club) . Think about that when she'll be sleeping next to your sorry ass , excuse of a man tonight .

or

Hey son , i thought she looked familiar , shes that little stripper that really knows how to work it .

or

Hey man , me and the other bro's were bored friday night , so we decided to make a visit to your girl at work , dont worry , we tipped her good and she left us ... well let's just say ... "awake" for a good while . hey , btw , did you ever notice that little mark on her left cheek ?

GOOD LUCK BUDDY !!!!!!

Interesting test, Lv. He probably thought about those already so i'm not sure if it'd bother him.

She has no reservations about stripping (I.e. being payed for being treated like a piece of meat), she may have little or no reservations about doing other things too. People in this proffesion often have a blurred vision and have problem seeing the line or even knowing that one exists (ever heard anyone say, "so what if I lend my body, I'm ONLY in love with you, I thought YOU would understand").

I have never read anyone make up so many lame excuses to counter act the girl they like being a stripper in my life. Your trying to be really nice and ignore the part that she is a stripper thanks to you infatuation for her. Interesting that you have no ballz to say "No, fawk that slut". Which would be the words out of my mouth in your position. In position my words are "HAHA! your dating a stripper, were does she work? so I can get some action!"

Speaking from experience, I have no problem what-so-ever with having a serious relationship with a stripper. Good thing, as I seem to attract them (without meaning to), probably because of my long hair and a few tattoos. Strippers seem to like that look I guess.

However, of all the strippers I've dated, I've NEVER met one AT a strip club, other nightclubs and concerts or through friends yes, but never directly at their work. In fact I rarely if ever go to a strip club, just not my thing.

One girl that comes to mind was a really cute single mother of two kids. A beautiful person inside and out, danced (ONLY danced) at night and spent her days kniting, cooking and sewing things for the kids. Where else could she make $200 a night and have her days free? We had even talked about getting married, I told my family she was a bartender at a strip club, no problem. Well, no problem until I found out her dirty little secret that she hid from me very well. Cocaine. Major user and I can't tolerate that kinda shit, especially around kids. Too bad, without that problem we'd probably be happily married today.

Be aware that drugs and excessive alcohol use IS common in that profession. And no, most strippers don't hook, despite the image.

Yeah, bald dirty old men may be looking at your girls privates for her eight-hour shift, but YOU'RE the one that she snuggles up in bed to all night. A lot of it has to do with the club itself, too. If it's a sleeze-pit, there may be more shit going on. If it's a more upscale type club, you can bet that there's a couple of beefy biker-type bouncers who would break the arm of any perv that would try and touch her.

I say go for it, but that's just my opinion.

What did she do with her kids at night? I just think there is always some other way to make money.

Well if you don't end up dating her, can I? :D

Seroiusly, I dated a stripper for a bit once. She was smokin hot and dumb as bricks. It gets old after awhile.
Eventually you'll get insecure when she goes to work etc. and you really won't have much in common/to talk about.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Junsui

What did she do with her kids at night? I just think there is always some other way to make money.

---

She lived with her aunt who would watch the kids at night while she was at work.

Well, she saw no shame in it, nor did I. The only difference in strippers and NFL cheerleaders is that the cheerleaders wear a bit more clothing. They'll all selling a sex fantasy not unlike almost every TV commerical.

Just my opinion....

I didn't say either one of you saw shame in it! :) I agree, cheerleaders are similar.

Oh, so you're Davy19.

Like most these people are saying you have to ask yourself, first and foremost, if you would be okay with your girlfriend being a stripper. Nothing would be worse than to sucker her in, make her believe you're cool with everything, then a couple months into the relationship after the "honeymoon" phase is over you start to flip a shit about her stripping for guys.

Personally, my advice to you is - give it time. Sounds like you don't know her much except on the acquaintence/friend level. You met her at school right? What year is she? Maybe she's almost out of school and will be moving to a new career and be done with stripping? Then all your worries will be gone! I would get to know her more, show interest in getting to know her, and wait to see if she opens up to you and maybe tell you her plans for life.

Well I'm not dense and I realize that it's only a job. To to say she would get into prostitution is far fetched. A stripper justs naked and dances or gives lap dances, that's it. The fact is I know her pretty well and we're good friends, so she thinks of it as a well paying job. She actually doesn't like doing it too much but brings home $500 a night. I realize there are guys that pay to give lap dances but all that is just some guy living out his fantasy through another chick and besides there's no touching. I'm not the lealous type but can obviously distinguish between what a stipper does and what a cheating girlfriend does.
But I'm not entirely sure if she wants to date or just wants go sleep with me.

She seems interested in me but not sure what kind of way. I myelf would like a relationship. Well what I think is try to give her romantic compliments because I think that would signal that I'd like to actually date rather sleep with her. I really don't know, any way I could tell that if she just wants to sleep with me or is actually interested in dating?

Also if I would get angry about her stripping I wouldn't want to ask her out anyways. She is going to culinary college, not exactly sure what she wants to do with it, get her degree or certificate, but I'm going for a degree. But I'll jsut she where it goes. I really appreicate everyone giving me some insight, th forums have really helped, I'll definitely stay here for quite a while.

Also like I mentioned before I wasn't looking for a relationship, if I girl walked up to me and asked me out I woulnd't ne interested, I wanted to focus on college and work and hang around my friends. I met her and well she's just been really nice and we're good friends. Everything is there, she's nice, smart, we've got a lot in common and all, but all I'm worried about is her becoming a stripper(and so far all these replies have answered that for me!) and whether or not if she just wants to sleep with me or date.
I mean I should take up some stripping if I get $500 a night LOL.

Geez, just ask her out. If she just wants sex with you, she will stop seeing you after you say no to her on the first date.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Junsui

Geez, just ask her out. If she just wants sex with you, she will stop seeing you after you say no to her on the first date.

---

What makes you think he'll say "no" to sex? :surprised

Well my apologies if I blew the situation out of proportion, I'm one not to rush into anything anymore because I learned not to.
I'll just ask her out and she how it goes from there.

lol Well Lloyd, I don't know that he'll say no. I guess I made an assumption since he was wondering if she was just after him for sex.

Good Davy. If you're ok with the stripping, which you have said many times you are, then the only way you will ever know if she would be interested in dating you is to ask her. I'm not sure why her stripping was even brought up, but I'm sure I missed the reason somewhere in this thread.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

I have never read anyone make up so many lame excuses to counter act the girl they like being a stripper in my life. Your trying to be really nice and ignore the part that she is a stripper thanks to you infatuation for her. Interesting that you have no ballz to say "No, fawk that slut". Which would be the words out of my mouth in your position. In position my words are "HAHA! your dating a stripper, were does she work? so I can get some action!"

---

I've gotten good friends with her before I knew that she was a stripper. That's the entire reason I was interested in her in the first place. So now that I know she is one means that she is automatically a slut and nothing I perceived about her is true? That's really ignorant and judgemental. A profession doesn't really reflect a person. But you're entitled to your opinion.
I'm not making up excuses, she very well be a drugged out slut but who's to say that anyone you date isn't exactly that or has some other secret she is hiding? You could date a rocket scientist but she could be addicted to cocaine, a deadbeat mom, a slut, a snob and etc.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Davy19

but all I'm worried about is her becoming a stripper(and so far all these replies have answered that for me!) and whether or not if she just wants to sleep with me or date.

---

Ok, you changed your post up here and I'm confused, you mean like her doing it for a career instead of just a job?

Good luck, let us know what happens.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Junsui

Ok, you changed your post up here and I'm confused, you mean like her doing it for a career instead of just a job?

---

No I meant that I was kind of worried that if she was a stripper because I wasn't entirely sure that I would be ok with it and how others would react and the replies got me thinking so I'm not worried about that anymore.

Alright.....