my girl just left me but she works with me :: please help

My girlfriend just broke up with me for the reason that i never took her out and showed her attention. When she first met me i was very outgoing and well dressed, as time went by my stressful job took a tool on me and my image changed and so did my outgoing desire. In that transition we started dating and we bonded very fast. Let me not forget to mention we work together.

After 7 months of being together she gave up on me not taking her out and showing her love and broke up with me. It bothers me that I never got to show her my outgoing and fun side nor really show her love. I called her back after the brake up and asked for a second chance but NO was the answer I got. She told me I was a real good person etc... but her motivation to continue was gone but that she did not want to loose me as a friend.

My sister in law (her best friend) told me about how many times I hurt her and how much she really really cared for me, i always knew she loved me but was blind of her pain. btw the seperation took place on Sunday. My current feelings for her are incredible I love her to death and hate to see her give me her back. Working with her makes things worse.

The advise i'd like is the following;
(a) Should i return to my old ways as far as improve my image, become outgoing again and continue a friendship with her and hope to charm her back.

(b) Forget completely about her improve my image regardless and continue forward.

Any advise and help is greatly appreciated. I am destroyed and didnt know where to turn for help other then this great site full of people sharing ot that have shared my pain. :) If you have any more questions regarding my situation please ask.

Regards,
(heartbroken) Mike

Your job started to stress you out so you stopped dressing nice?

Quick rundown: I work in a wholesale enviroment. We currently have a 90,000 sq foot location but before we had a 50,000 sq foot location. At our previous location we had major delivery issues and averaged about 7-10 seriously nagging customers a day. My boss was also going thru a divorce and did nothing but curse all day and be a nag. I lost complete desire in my job and no longer dressed the way i used to and my sales went down as well. We now are running a much smoother operation @ our new location and my stress has reduced. I know it sounds silly but i blame the stress on my image change and lack of wanting to go out.

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Originally Posted by Junsui

Your job started to stress you out so you stopped dressing nice?

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Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink
Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink
Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink

TAVS i completely agree with you... :(

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Originally Posted by TAVS

Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink
Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink
Never Dip The Pen In The Company Ink

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lol Tavs! Are you a "do what I say, not as I do" type of person? ;)

Please elaborate Junsui, :sad2:

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Originally Posted by Junsui

lol Tavs! Are you a "do what I say, not as I do" type of person? ;)

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Tavs is dating a co-worker!

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Originally Posted by Junsui

lol Tavs! Are you a "do what I say, not as I do" type of person? ;)

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I prefer the term Hypocrit, thank you. :nerd:

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Originally Posted by TAVS

I prefer the term Hypocrit, thank you. :oriental:

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Ahhh I'm sorry, I will remember that for the future. :D

Gotha ,
lol i guess u feel my pain TAVS... so what u guys think i should go with (a) or (b) ... btw... thanks for hearing me out

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Originally Posted by Junsui

Tavs is dating a co-worker!

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Well, I would say just be yourself, whatever that maybe. I wouldn't plan on getting back together with her.

Thanks Junsui, Hurts to hear that but i needed to hear that. Ill see what others think.

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Originally Posted by Junsui

Well, I would say just be yourself, whatever that maybe. I wouldn't plan on getting back together with her.

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Yeah, I know it's not what you want to hear. Obviously you can do whatever you feel like you have to do. I would just be cautious of someone who is going to leave you because you go through some stress.

Give it a week or so, then win her back. Don't sit back and take it. Make a change and show her the change. Watch a couple 1980s romantic comedies and pickup some tips on how to win a woman back

You think so TAVS? im very confused.... :sad2: she told me she didnt want to cut things off and be my friend. My plan was to be a friend and try my hardest to charm her back..... but i dont want this to hurt me in the end with a closed door. But i really would want her back shes a gr8 gal and i've never had anyone love me nor treat me as she did.

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Originally Posted by TAVS

Give it a week or so, then win her back. Don't sit back and take it. Make a chance and show her the chance. Watch a couple 1980s romantic comedies and pickup some tips on how to win a woman back

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Truth is you messed up. Nothing says you can't do anything about it. Sweep her off her feet dude and never let this happen again.

sounds good TAVS, Ill wait and see if anyone else has anything to say... I would love to go with this plan but I also would like to hear other opinions. But i greatly appreciate your reply and i hope others agree with your plan.

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Originally Posted by TAVS

Truth is you messed up. Nothing says you can't do anything about it. Sweep her off her feet dude and never let this happen again.

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My best friend recomended I send her a batch of flowers to her house along with a card expressing my true feelings for her and apoligizing for hurting her (via delivery not personaly). What you guys think of this recomendation? Im not sure if I should go with this :sad2:

Weak. That's what you do when you get in a fight about her new perm looking like crap. Didn't I tell you to watch 1980s Romantic comedies so you could get an understanding of the serious crap you're going to have to do to get yourself out of this one?

lol I agree Tavs

I don t blame her for leaving... Its your own fault.

I agree mini. Im just trying to find a solution to make things right... or in a worse case just let her go completely... so far im leaning towards TAV's side just because i really love her. I just hope this doesnt end in a bad way.

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Originally Posted by mini696

I don t blame her for leaving... Its your own fault.

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She wants to be your friend so be her friend. Don't talk about feelings, emotions, winning her back and especially the PAST! Treat her as you would a best friend. Make jokes, be funny, relax. Show her that you are willing to work with her on this and you're not planning to shove her into a corner with all of the decisions that she has no capacity to make at the moment.

Give her time and space. May take a lot longer than you think and she may not come back to you. You'll just have treat the situation as a positive no matter which way the wind blows. Try to be there for her if she needs you and if she decides to move on completely (I.e. seeing other people) then start seeing other people as well...

Expect nothing. Accept all she offers.

demode1204----Gone through the same thing as you. Work is so hectic these days, everymorning I don't want to get out of bed, so the time I used to spend in front of the mirror is now spent catching 15mins more of sleep. Hence my 'dressing' has gone down hill. One of the managers commented on 'looking smart at work at ALL times'. I was a little miffed because hey, the work is getting done right?

However, if you're in sales, that's no excuse. You must look good. It's all about the image. And that image is probably what your girlfriend was attracted to initially. I know it takes effort to look good ALL the time, but if anything, do it for yourself.

(Hahh...this means I'll have to get out of bed 15mins earlier myself).

if you guys work together and it was super stressful for you then i'm sure it was stressful for her too. maybe the stress of work AND the stress of YOUR stress she just didn't want to deal with it. no?

I greatly appreciate all the advise contributed... You all been great help... Just to give u an update this weekend she called me and told me she rather not be my friend cuz she didnt want to lead me on. Maybe im wrong but i take that as the end.
:sad2:
It sux that i work with her but hey that was my decision i made now i must pay the price. Now ill continue my closer.... Thanks again for all the help it was a nice jesture.

Just give it time and you'll be ok. At least she let you know she didn't want to lead you on so that should help you realize it's over and move on.