messy.. but basically i want her

Ok ill keep it short and sweet, my ex has a rebound/booty call guy and hes totally the opposite of me (he's so not her normal type).they have been pretty much going sex mad from what i hav heard.Im jealous, i miss her ..we was so meant for eachother.
I spoke to her on msn last night and basically shes having a great time in everthing in her life atm and it seems shes better off without me, whilst it seems like all this is a disease i have caught.I think shes still intrested me in some way but its too hard for me to tell, her plan is to be just friends.We recently got back from NYC together,it was tough here and there for me but we got on,she basically did things like holding onto me or posing infront of me or laying in my bed.we had sex once on our trip even doh after she came she told me to stop. ill stop now too much of a messy rant,just need to sorta say something.

Cut her off with no contact. She is going to be trouble for you and will also prevent you from finding yourself a nice girl.

everyone probably thinks this but she was seriously like one in a million kinda girl,im not just saying it because i actually loved her but its so true.

I agree with shh!... remember you guys broke up for a reason. From what I hear, 9 times out of 10 when couples DO get back together, they end up breaking up for similair reasons and things usually aren't what they thought they would be when hoping to get back together.

Right now, you're just kind of her backup plan until she finds a new guy... I'd try my best to cut her off, tell her it's too hard for you to just be friends, and start to move on so you can find a new girl.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sick-deano

everyone probably thinks this but she was seriously like one in a million kinda girl,im not just saying it because i actually loved her but its so true.

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Actually, yes you are.

why was she the one in a million girl??? because yoou loved her... leave her and get away from her, there is a one in a billion girl waiting for you

Hussain

I agree with what everyone has already said.

she knows i want to be more than friends but lately ive just bin trying to act cool and un-phased by it all.she could cut me out in a second and probably not contact me for long,she wont find it hard to be busy or move on.it hurts for that reason too i mean she was the one who ended it and i just keep on seeming to get the harsh end of the stick.
And she was one in a million because we was into the same things,she was so hot and she did so many things that are what i wanted in a girl, doesnt really sound like a valid reason but i know its true.

Uh, are you going to actually listen to people's advice? That IS why you came here, no? Seriously, what type of one in a million girl is doing this guy all the time that is the opposite of you? Why do you want that? How about you accept the fact that she told you that she's better off without you, and she wasn't just saying it for shits and giggles. What makes you think she doesn't even know what she wants? MOVE ON.

So she's having sex with this other guy and slept with you? :D

leave her .. NOW ... and get this straight mate, and you better get this or else you are going to suffer for a long time ....

YOU DESERVE BETTER ......

I deserve to be treated better yeah, just i hate this .Like i woke up this morning and feel as if im mental or something.miss her alot,wondering about her, and shes out there looking for other guys. Im stupid enough to even think its all my fault she doesnt love me anymore,like if im too nice or something.thx for the advice doh i am listening.

you will always think its your fault simply because you dont understand what you did to reach this horrible stage in life.

YOU DID NOTHING & YOU DESERVE BETTER

my dear friend.,you will always miss her, you will always remember her, but you must repeat MUST move on, simply because you dont deserve to be punished like this, least of all by yourself

get hold of yourself mate and find someone who loves you as much as you love her

take care

Hussain

Thx mate, i know if i found someone better or a really nice girl i'd like feel like its "my time" or that someone is watching up there. atm doh im writing a kinda notepad letter/thoughts of things i want to say to her when shes on msn next.i dont think im goin to go as far as to write it out and email it to her ..but i might.

You shouldn't send her anything. Just cut contact.

We've all been there man. What I can tell you is it DOES GET BETTER. You have to not overwhelm yourself thinking of the future, just take things ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Thx.I'll just try NC and keep my chin up. i have so many un-answered questions in my head about me and her, and thinking of her and him together is like a tar covered roundabout.Lets see what happens..

I had a lot of unanswered questions too when my Ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. I know this would sound wiered right now, but when I cut all contact with her I started to feel better and better (Even though I still hit hard times of depression. I just usually sleep it out and it's getting rarer and rarer now.). Thats what you have to do to cut all contact. She dosen't deserve your attention. Don't worry about her anymore. By breaking up with you she freed you from all your responsibilies from her.

I still miss my Ex so much but this has far been the best experience of my life. It gave me an opportunity to learn about myself. For those unanswered questions you have. They will answer themselves with time. Don't ask her the answers would hurt you right now. One day you'll figure out the answers just by sitting down alone (Yes! By yourself!) and they are actually quite enlightening. You'll also grow up and mature with this experience. When I look back now at my former self I'm quite surprised on how immature I was back then when I though I was mature.

You deserve someone who cares for you as much you care for them. No one deserve any less. You want someone who will keep running back to you for happiness and to catch their tears when going through a rough time. Not a girl who would run to a different guy to have sex. This girl isn't your one in a million girl. Love do weired things to people like blind you.

Give yourself time to grow and learn about yourself. I don't care if you're, 15, 25, or 50 everyone has growing and learning to do.

Thx, i understand you on the learning process.i feel that ive learnt alot about myself from this so far..I i broke NC yesterday doh.Ended up txting her,basically she jumped at the chance to tell me she spent sunday around someones house.Now no more contact from me,im the better person at the end of the day.she may have a better social life but **** her.The only thing i want to ask is why does she always tell me things like that? is her mind in some kind of social/sex race or is she proving to herself she doesnt need me or something?
thx again

Ok, ive bin scanning through threads and posts to help myself and last night it was helping,i felt happy for myself. Then i decided to go to my mates and whilst i was standing at his door waiting for him to anwser i heard my name called from across the street. It was HER!! not a big deal i guess, but i cant believe i ran in2 my ex, she barley stopped to say a proper hello but we both did say hi.
Now its got me messed up again, she seemed happy and not too focused on me whilst im the complete different. I feel that i should go into her work on my day off this week and just say it straight, tell her that i'll always love her and that it sucks we cant try at it again?! NC NC doh , seems the best option but im just getting more and more confused.i need a kind of closure, i need to know more of why she split up with me than just she "didnt love me anymore",seeing her again has messed me totally up and making myself go in to her work would seem a bad idea but i got to think about it. i feel as though something needs to be said in person once more, anyways sorry to blab on, i guess im clearing my chest.

I think it would be best to not say anything to her. Sometimes people just lose feelings they once had for someone, I know I have with people I used to date. I'm sorry this set you back, but you'll be ok. :)

yea what will happen will happen i guess.
I didnt mention all my story because basically i'd by typing for ages but my ex cheated on me in may, she told me on the phone that night what she had done and i took her back.I think we got back together too soon, i was bitter and still dwelling on it too much. Just reading some other threads and i thought i should mention that. She wasnt going to love me when im all bitter here and there etc.
I guess give her space and want she wants. angry,depressed and jealous about her sex buddy but theres nothing i can do about it.

Of course you were bitter! She cheated on you! You had a right to be! Don't be apologetic.

Things aren't very good right now, but you'll soon feel better - really, you will!

You deserve much more than this! She is not good enough for you!

Someone on this forum said recently, (I can't remember who it was, so sorry for not giving you credit) that "Closure" is a pop-psychology term that really means nothing. It can't be achieved except through time. I agree.

ok, thank you everyone for your posts and your advice. For an update, she is now "dating" her **** buddy, so much for the "i dont want to be in a relationship atm." thing.
Im up and down, more up than down lately.Just really trying to forget about her,i havent called her in about 3 weeks.she doesnt care,i cant be so stupid as to think she still wants me or isn't playing games with me.I cant understand how she could just turn and not care so much about me anymore but thats how it goes i guess.

I'm not trying to be harsh here by any means so please try to see through my words ok?

She obviously didn't care for you as much as she said or as much as you cared for her. She cheated on you, lied to you and is still lying to you. You don't need that nor do youd eserve to be treated that way. I know anger uses mroe energy but if it will help you getthe though of wanting her back out of your head then concentrate on all these things that she did. There are tons of other girls out there that will treat you with respect and truly care for you ENOUGH to not cheat on you! This is not your fautl this is hers and you can sit back and laugh att he fact that she will cheat on the gus she's with now as well so get her out of her head... No contact and just do other things to get your mind off of her!!!!!!1

your not being harsh rosebud, i totally hear what your saying and thank you.
Im really getting sick of feeling like this, i dreamt about her alot last night and it really wound me up. I'll keep on with trying to get over her and NC, im so bloody weak and stupid for ever opening up to her.