Men crying.

Honestly, what do you think of men who cry?

EDIT: I am eighteen.

1. I was doing fine at school one day, but I was seriously sad because my 2.5 year girl friend told me she likes and kisses one of my friends the night before, and my teacher noticed I was a little down. He started teasing me about looking sad(I was usually happy), so I got teary eyed and went outside. I wasn't wailing, but I was crying quite a bit. I knew I shouldn't have, and I wouldn't have, but he brought it up and I couldn't handle it.


2. I cried at school a few weeks ago because I had such a horrible morning with my mom. I got four hours of sleep, and we have a bit of an emotional past. I'm the 2nd of four children, and I really don't get any attention from her. She treats my sibblings way better, and doesn't talk down to them. She constantly says things like "Three good kids out of four isn't bad!", "You're the only one who wasn't an accident, and we wish you were the only one that wasn't born.", and other things like that.

Anyways, I had a giant argument with my mom this day, and I went to school. My teacher noticed I was sad, and he asked me what was wrong. I couldn't handle it so I just started crying. I just can't control it.


I really try and hide these feelings inside, but sometimes, I just can't. I have horrible mood swings. One second I can be confident and happy, and the next second I'll be insecure and sad. I really want to change this. I try and be nice to her, but I always flip out when she says something horrible to me.


I'm dating this girl, and she found out I was crying in first period. She said she was sorry, or whatever, and hugged/kissed me, but I have a feeling that I'm looking like a wuss. Usually, I'm not, but I get so insecure and sad randomly. For no reason at ALL, I'll be super pissed and sad. Should I worry?


Anyone have any suggestions on what I should do?

try to convince her your having the hardest time in your life and that your usually not like that , tell her what your mom tells you , like that she will understand what kind of shit your going through , also tell her your in depression because it sounds like your in it .

best of luck , happy new years .

R

It sounds like you have a lot to cry over. Lose the girlfriend, and see if you can set up some sort of counseling with the school psychologist.

I have more of a problem with guys who don't ever cry.

Still, try not to let your emotions get the best of you too often. It does give the apearance that you're not in control of yourself. Not that anyone's opinion should matter, but whatever. Like Vashti said, maybe you need to talk to someone to sort out what's making you so sad.

I cried about 5 weeks ago because i discovered i was in love with a girl and then she tells me she has a BF!!!!! so i freaked out and punched my door in the fell on the floor crying!!! man it was like the saddest thing to ever happen to me!!!!! you know when you love someone so much that when you're not with them your heart physically aches? i feel like that all the time! now i'm just getting off topic sorry!! LOL

It is perfectly acceptable for a male to cry. What you are going through is quite emotional, and no one can blame you for needing to let out. The problem, however, (as you've mentioned) is people's perception of a "male who cries." I personally think you shouldn't care what they think and don't let this whole thing become another added stress to your life. You needn't concentrate on the whole issue of crying at school, but instead focus on these problems that are causing you so much grief.

just cry in private at least , i dont cry , even in private , i have come close but it just doesnt seem to come out ... if its physical then its all about grunts , if its emotional and psychological , then its all about the sort of almost crying state .
actually , seeing someone that i love in pain and crying makes me want to cry more than me actually being IN pain .

I cry, if I do not, I get angry and later cry anyway, just like a little prick. But at least I am bold enough to stand up with it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xxwildchildxx

It is perfectly acceptable for a male to cry. What you are going through is quite emotional, and no one can blame you for needing to let out.

---

well said :) Can you see a psychologist at school? Keep us posted.
-tiay

I am going to get blasted here, but a man crying in public, other then at a funeral is not acceptable.

You are 18, and by all means a man, grow up and be responsible enough for your emotions that you can hold off until you get home, and cry all you want into your pillow. If you need counseling, that is fine, and I encourage that, and if needed cry to them.

Crying, like dreaming, is the body's way of releasing the potentionally damaging effects of overwhelmingly sad or happy feelings. It's like a pressure safety valve. To suggest crying is unacceptable and should be held back is the same as saying that shitting or pissing is unacceptable and should be held back. For the present, I'd try to avoid circumstances (or creating circumstances, like arguments) I knew might produce strong feelings in me. Then, I'd look into ways to fortify my coping skills, with or without professional help.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

I am going to get blasted here, but a man crying in public, other then at a funeral is not acceptable.

You are 18, and by all means a man, grow up and be responsible enough for your emotions that you can hold off until you get home, and cry all you want into your pillow. If you need counseling, that is fine, and I encourage that, and if needed cry to them.

---

Ah come on now, bluevette... have a heart! He is just a boy! But you are correct that in our culture, it is seen as a negative for males to have strong emotions. Thank god I am a woman.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whaywardj

Crying, like dreaming, is the body's way of releasing the potentionally damaging effects of overwhelmingly sad or happy feelings. It's like a pressure safety valve. To suggest crying is unacceptable and should be held back is the same as saying that shitting or pissing is unacceptable and should be held back. For the present, I'd try to avoid circumstances (or creating circumstances, like arguments) I knew might produce strong feelings in me. Then, I'd look into ways to fortify my coping skills, with or without professional help.

---

Wayward I have to disagree.

You don't piss and shit in the classroom, the table at the restaurant, or in the aisle at the grocery store. You excuse yourself, find the appropriate place, and relieve yourself.

You also don't throw a 3 year old type temper tantrum when waiting in line for the theatre for an hour, only to have it sold out when you get to the window.

You also don't yell or hit a women when sometimes you feel like you would really want to, and they deserve it.

This is called controlling your emotions. Crying is the same. Men and Women. If a grown women sat down in the cheese aisle at the grocery store and started to cry, this would not be acceptable either.

If someone happens to be having an emotional moment, an adult should be able to suppress that emotion (like suppressing you bodily waste) for at least 10 minutes so you can find an appropriate place to have your emotional release.

The world will not be kind to a man that feels it is OK to cry whenever he feels the need.

Get real; no women would respect a man that was crying because he had an argument with his mother, or his boss or whatever. SHE needs him to put her back together now and then, not putting him back together. Women look for an emotional level, and that is (society based) found in a man.

We can try and soften, or dismiss, the laws of nature, but it seems to be fruitless.

someone mentioned this above somewhere...and i gotta say, it's the same with me...

i don't cry very often post-puberty. i cried when my grandmother died. i cried when me and the vets thought my cat was going to cry. and i sorta half cried when the girl who i thought at the time was the love of my life cheated on me. three times i cried on my own.

HOWEVER...i have a HARD time holding back tears when someone i care about is crying. my mom cried one day when we were reminiscing about my deceased father...he's been gone for 15 years but my mom cried. i couldn't hold it...i busted out crying and hugging my mom. one of my very dear friends, a girl, was torn to pieces and bawling because she got dumped by her long term relationship boyfriend...and cried for her and held her. my little cousin, she started bawling her eyes out when the family dog died...and i busted out crying. one of my best friends, his father passed away, and he started crying at the funeral...i didn't even know his dad very well cuz he worked so much...but i cried too just watching my buddy broken down like that...and i had to give him a big ole hug and cry with him. there have beeen other instances too.

i can't take it when i see loved ones in pain...that just KILLS me...

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by vashti

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?

---

ROFL; It's called Fiction. ;)

Non-fiction offers even more reasons to cry. People do horrific things to one another.

Crying is PERFECTLY NORMAL!!! (if you are a wimp or girl, that is)


lol - of course, i joking.

that's right, a joke!



in all honesty, you should be worried if you DON'T cry!



i've cried before, when i was going through tough times, sometimes i'd randomly cry at night, this has happened twice in my life. another ONE time was when i was driving in my car. Of course, i was going through EXTREME stress (i still hesitate to use the word depression).

I never cry in movies, i only tear up SLIGHTLY.



from what i've heard, it's normal to cry, and abnormal NOT to...

...you are fine :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by vashti

Don't you guys cry in movies? Sophie's Choice? Terms of Endearment? Bambi?

---

two movies got me good...when i was in elementry school, i cried during transfomers the movie when they killed optimus prime!!!!! later on...i sorta half cried during schindler's list...that stuff was hardcore...at the end, when they show all those REAL relatives and surviors visiting the graves and stuff...

Vette, I don't recall saying anything about proprietey. But since you bring it up, I'm just saying it's unhealthy to stifle a natural function for the sake of it. I suppose I could've found a better comparison than shit, though. I'll give you that.

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by funsounds

two movies got me good...when i was in elementry school, i cried during transfomers the movie when they killed optimus prime!!!!! later on...i sorta half cried during schindler's list...that stuff was hardcore...at the end, when they show all those REAL relatives and surviors visiting the graves and stuff...

---

that reminds me, during the holidays, i read Night by Elie Weisle. I am really lost for words...i don't know what to say.

i guess you don't have to say ANYTHING really! it's just a matter of acknowledging the power, fragility, and delicacy of the human spirit, and the consequences of when this 'humanity' is lost...

....it's definately one of the most painful things that i've been exposed to "through books, documentaries, and film' in my life. what worse, is that there are people that deny the holocaust ever happened...it makes me SOOO ****in' sick when i hear or read this!

at my university, a family came to give a public talk, out in the open, in the outdoors, right outside the business building of my campus. they created a 'circle' of spectators. i remember being in the crowd, and listening to what they had to say. the family looked STRANGE and VERY OLD FASHIONED. there was a mother, father, older daughter, and a YOUNG kid - he was YOUNG. and here they were preaching some of the most repungant, and sickly things i could think of. of course, the crowd that gathered debated them, but it was no use, i mean, it would've been better to just LEAVE...

...i don't know what. i mean, i can say what i want, but i can never change the past, i mean, if something happens on the other side of the world tommorow, like another terrorist bomb in the middle east, or more soldiers dying in iraq, my heart goes out to these people....i feel hopeless, i mean, what can i do? sure, if i see something WRONG, i will speak out, but honestly, sometimes resposibility is not in my hands, and instead, some dude someowhere else has a choice to make, and he makes the wrong one....

....this can go on and on.



if you are reading this far. i am upset, because of something that happened recently: I was in my apartment, and i decided to watch the news. I watched the headlines, and coincidentally, the 2000th soldier in Iraq had died. I watched the 15 minute segment on t.v, and it made me feel a way i cannot describe....

....but that wasn't it. It was until recently, when i got the latest statistic...i think it was 2,165 at the time...

...this is when i kind of broke. I mean, in my mind, 165 Soldiers. And then, I think of the time between the day i watched the headlines in my apartment, and the day i heard the 2,165 number (on the radio)...

...i think about that brief period of time, and what exactly it was, that i've been doing, and where my mind has been, what i've been thinking about, and so on...

...well, i don't think i will go on anymore, because i'm sure we all have our own personal ways to deal with grief.

i will be 23 years old this year, and just to think that 22 year olds have died fighting this war , its too much sometimes.

i'll stop.

I believe that is worth crying over RSK, whether you are male or female.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whaywardj

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

---

I totally agree with that.
I also think that it probably wasn't just any ol' argument with his mother about leaving old socks on the couch, but something deeper.
I guess I don't "count" because I'm female, but I have cried after an argument with my mom. Just once, because we don't argue a lot.

Of course adults of both genders don't like to cry in public, it's too personal. But if they can't "hold back" it's not because they're wimps or there's something wrong with them. Crying is the sign of a healthy, balanced person. As others here have said, you should be worried if you never cry.

Many movies have made me cry.. but specifically I remember Black Beauty, years ago..

I cried in class once.. well, after class. For a pretty silly reason, too; I was out sick and I didn't have this project done, which was okay because I had a medical certificate, but still that got to me. And then the teacher was really harsh saying how disappointed she was with the quality of work. I just felt like she was saying that to me too. I needed to talk to her after class about how to finish it, but by that time I was crying. And she's like.. do you need a counsellor? what's wrong? And when I managed to sob that it was about the project, she hit me lightly and told me not to cry about that :P but she was also very sympathetic and helpful. And it turned out a friend had been outside the door waiting to ask the teacher something, so he heard the whole thing heh. He was really nice too though and cheered me up. wow I have to cry more often!

eh, no, but my point is, the thing I cried about might seem silly, especially since the project wasn't worth that many marks or anything, but it hits a deeper nerve with me; fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, feeling like I don't deserve the place at college (I had a weird education, shouldn't technically have been allowed in).. etc. all that just sets off an avalanche of unstoppable self pity. My brain seems to ignore the fact that when I first applied, they told me I should skip to second or third year straight away. It turned out that isn't possible, though.

i have trouble crying , not because i cant , its because everyone around me see's it as something abnormal , something weak , just last year was the first time i had cried since childhood , my ex was the one to do that , i cant believe i cried in front of her , she was in one of those crazy cry's where she wasnt even able to breath well . i was feeling bad , i cant remember why , she got even more mad and cried more when she saw that i wasnt crying , so then somehow , i guess as a way to show her that i was sorry and i was also hurt in some way , i also started crying and hugged her ... ohh i just remembered ... there was a time when i was going to go back to my original country , and that got her extremely sad .

like i said before , seeing someone i love crying actually makes me want to cry more than lets say for example ... physical pain ... heh , last time i cried from pain i was like 12-13 or so ...

It's really strange.... after my big breakup 9 months ago with my girlfriend of 3 and 1/2 years... I haven't been able to cry. I've been incredibly frustrated and in pain many times since then, and I could feel the tears coming... but they just don't come.

I don't know why it's like that. I just can't anymore.

I completely agree with this:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

This is called controlling your emotions. Crying is the same. Men and Women. If a grown women sat down in the cheese aisle at the grocery store and started to cry, this would not be acceptable either.

If someone happens to be having an emotional moment, an adult should be able to suppress that emotion (like suppressing you bodily waste) for at least 10 minutes so you can find an appropriate place to have your emotional release.

---

I absolutely DISagree with this:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

SHE needs him to put her back together now and then, not putting him back together. Women look for an emotional level, and that is (society based) found in a man.

---

They both need to put each other back, when needed. The men I love best in this life are those who aren't afraid to "fall apart" in front of a trusted companion. There is strength in being comfortable enough with oneself to allow yourself to do this (and be controlled other times). Screw what "society" says about this.

When I was younger, I used to cry alot more often than now. I cried when my grandfather died, and that's still makes me cry sometimes. Now I only tend to get teary if I watch something emotional, not really crying. But the last time I remember I cried was when we lost our last football game to our rival, we were kicked off the playoffs, and they advanced. I have also noticed it felt good to let out my tears when I did cry.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whaywardj

Vette, I don't recall saying anything about proprietey. But since you bring it up, I'm just saying it's unhealthy to stifle a natural function for the sake of it. I suppose I could've found a better comparison than shit, though. I'll give you that.

The whole "real men don't cry" thing just gripes my ass, in any case, and I'm loath to place any arbitrary limitations on that particular natural function. I believe the pursuit of living up to such a ridiculous expectation is the root of a LOT of uniquely male dysfunctions men go through their lives either ignoring, denying, defending, or disavowing. Or trying to.

---

Point taken Wayward, I feel there is no benefit to harbor your emotions, but I do think there is an appropriate place to vent those emotions, and at school or in public is not that place. Now, if you just received very grave information, then of course.

But being torn up over an argument, or past experiance that is "flashing back", then take a moment, remove yourself emotionally from the antagonistic thought, and excuse yourself to a place for some mental downloading.

I have cried plenty in my life, heck, we buried the hanger pet (Sam) an old Lab last month and I think we all shed a tear as we buried him out back. Me included. Time and place.

Now, how would you feel if an airline captain was crying prior to entering the cockpit? Or you surgeon was crying over a fight with his mom? Time and place.

Some very good discussion in this thread.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by RSK

that reminds me, during the holidays, i read Night by Elie Weisle. I am really lost for words...i don't know what to say.

i guess you don't have to say ANYTHING really! it's just a matter of acknowledging the power, fragility, and delicacy of the human spirit, and the consequences of when this 'humanity' is lost...

....it's definately one of the most painful things that i've been exposed to "through books, documentaries, and film' in my life. what worse, is that there are people that deny the holocaust ever happened...it makes me SOOO ****in' sick when i hear or read this!

at my university, a family came to give a public talk, out in the open, in the outdoors, right outside the business building of my campus. they created a 'circle' of spectators. i remember being in the crowd, and listening to what they had to say. the family looked STRANGE and VERY OLD FASHIONED. there was a mother, father, older daughter, and a YOUNG kid - he was YOUNG. and here they were preaching some of the most repungant, and sickly things i could think of. of course, the crowd that gathered debated them, but it was no use, i mean, it would've been better to just LEAVE...

...i don't know what. i mean, i can say what i want, but i can never change the past, i mean, if something happens on the other side of the world tommorow, like another terrorist bomb in the middle east, or more soldiers dying in iraq, my heart goes out to these people....i feel hopeless, i mean, what can i do? sure, if i see something WRONG, i will speak out, but honestly, sometimes resposibility is not in my hands, and instead, some dude someowhere else has a choice to make, and he makes the wrong one....

....this can go on and on.



if you are reading this far. i am upset, because of something that happened recently: I was in my apartment, and i decided to watch the news. I watched the headlines, and coincidentally, the 2000th soldier in Iraq had died. I watched the 15 minute segment on t.v, and it made me feel a way i cannot describe....

....but that wasn't it. It was until recently, when i got the latest statistic...i think it was 2,165 at the time...

...this is when i kind of broke. I mean, in my mind, 165 Soldiers. And then, I think of the time between the day i watched the headlines in my apartment, and the day i heard the 2,165 number (on the radio)...

...i think about that brief period of time, and what exactly it was, that i've been doing, and where my mind has been, what i've been thinking about, and so on...

...well, i don't think i will go on anymore, because i'm sure we all have our own personal ways to deal with grief.

i will be 23 years old this year, and just to think that 22 year olds have died fighting this war , its too much sometimes.

i'll stop.

---

I can sympathize RK... the news can be really depressing. Especially when you hear about those kind of things... I'm kind of emotional anytime it comes to war, especially WWII when you hear of the 18 year old boys that were out there, scared to death, and the things they had to experience. Or the 19 year old boys holding their intestines while crying for their mothers.

I teared up a bit on Christmas day when I heard of a mother that was pulling out of her driveway to leave and didn't know her 6 year old daughter was outside playing, didn't see her, ran her over and killed her. How horrific.

I haven't cried, myself, in a very long time. I've teared up over certain things I get emotional over. But I do agree with Bluevette that there is nothing wrong with a man crying, but there should be a place and time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

Now, how would you feel if an airline captain was crying prior to entering the cockpit? Or you surgeon was crying over a fight with his mom? Time and place.

---

Yes, point taken in turn. On the whole, though, I'd much rather see that than to hear either of them say, "Oops!"

Oh. Speaking of pilot, I just realized something. I might wanna pick your brain on a subject, if you're willing. It appears my son has decided to enlist in the Army at the somewhat late age of 26. Turns out, he qualifies for WO after basic (88 percentile AFQT score). Not having 20-20, he's looking at helicopters. Meanwhile, the recruiter is all over him. I'm telling him recruiters are a step above used car salesmen and not to sign anything until he's PERFECTLY clear on what they're promising him and has it in writing. He's saying, "Yeah, dad," but I can tell he's ignoring me (What else is new between kids and their parents?) and itching to get on with it.

Care to pass along anything you're aware of he might want to know BEFORE he commits? PM or here is fine. Thanks in advance, man.

Hell. Tears once came to my eyes while watching an old ATT "Reach Out And Touch Someone" TV commercial. I was having a very bad week.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whaywardj

Yes, point taken in turn. On the whole, though, I'd much rather see that than to hear either of them say, "Oops!"

Oh. Speaking of pilot, I just realized something. I might wanna pick your brain on a subject, if you're willing. It appears my son has decided to enlist in the Army at the somewhat late age of 26. Turns out, he qualifies for WO after basic (88 percentile AFQT score). Not having 20-20, he's looking at helicopters. Meanwhile, the recruiter is all over him. I'm telling him recruiters are a step above used car salesmen and not to sign anything until he's PERFECTLY clear on what they're promising him and has it in writing. He's saying, "Yeah, dad," but I can tell he's ignoring me (What else is new between kids and their parents?) and itching to get on with it.

Care to pass along anything you're aware of he might want to know BEFORE he commits? PM or here is fine. Thanks in advance, man.

---

I will help all I can, but I am running out the door, and need more time then I have now to help you.

Until Tonight.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by whaywardj

It appears my son has decided to enlist in the Army at the somewhat late age of 26..

---

:horror: I hope you are okay with that. I know I'd be crying, for sure.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by vashti

:horror: I hope you are okay with that. I know I'd be crying, for sure.

---

Commy

;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluevetteracer

Commy

;)

---

No, just a parent. Besides, I prefer pinko-commie.



War monger. :)

Wayward, I will go over all I know about W.O programs and the Army.

Ranking (From Army Site)

Enlisted Personnel Ranks
Once Recruits complete their Basic Military Training, they attain the rank of Private. Enlisted personnel form the basic foundation of the Army's manpower. These ranks are worn on both sleeves. Shown here are the Lance Corporal and Corporal ranks. Privates and Recruits do not wear ranks on their sleeves.

Warrant Officer Ranks
Warrant Officers are Specialists who have distinguished themselves with their dedication and professionalism. With more than 10 years of service, they are the most experienced personnel in the Army. Because they are given Officer-type duties, their ranks are worn on the epaulettes. They have similar responsibilities and authority as Junior Officers.

Officers
Officers wear bars on their epaulettes. Commanding platoons or companies of men, they oversee the execution of orders and ensure the welfare of the men under their command. They are most important in small-unit combat, and earn the respect of their men by leading by example. As exemplary soldiers, they bring their men into action with dedication and energy.

Now, To be an officer in any Branch you have to have a 4 year degree, testing, accepted, etc. Not sure if the Army has changed this but the Navy/Marines and the Air force is dead set on a 4 year degree to be an Officer.

To be a Warrant officer, you need not have a 4 year degree, but some college is usually needed, as the spots are sought after. The Army is the only branch that allows Non Commissioned Officers (Warrant Officers) to fly.

Which is a good deal for guys with their stuff together, and no degree to get into the cockpit. The slots are not given away, and Warrant officer School is actually tougher then OCS (Officer Candidate School). They make the Warrant officers work harder I guess??

A Warrant Officer basically has many of the privileges of an Officer, but without the salute. They work closely with other officers, and are basically treated as one, but still call the Officers "SIR".

Now, on to the recruiters.

They are one step below used car salesman. Officer recruiters are different, they are still on the shady side, but they are senior enlisted so a tad better to deal with. Even though the term Officer is with Warrant Officer does not afford them the better recruiters, he will have to enlist. Do not let him go down there alone, they will gang up, pressure him, and he will sign. GO with him.

Before your son signs anything, GET IT IN WRITING, I cannot say that hard enough. Is this active Army or a Guard unit?

Helicopter training is very very expensive, and the military is about the only route a guy can go to get some good time, in good equipment, and get a job when he gets out.

I am not sure what the commitment is, BUT for Officers and I am guessing a Warrant officer as well, your commitment BEGINS after you get your wings.

So in my case, I had a minimum of 6 years AFTER flight school, which was 2 years long. After that my Re-Upping is on my terms. So if they offer him a helo slot, here is what his schedule may look like. (It has been a while since I checked this stuff out)

Basic Training - 8-9 weeks
Warrant Officers School - 12 weeks (Be in good shape)
Flight School 12-14 months
Commitment starts 4 years maybe 6?

So at least 5 years, maybe 7.

Not bad for a million dollars worth of training.

Now, if he is 26, this may be his only option, unless he has a 4 year degree. If he has a degree, then go in as an Officer, without a doubt.

And on another note, the war will be just about down to a flicker when he gets out of flight school. Notice that the only thing that gets shot down is helo's? There low and slow, and make a good small arms target.

With any luck he will get stationed in Germany, that would be a great place to spend 4 years. Really, if he is single, and ready, it is a lifetime of experiences. He will get to fly some cool toys, go to the beer hall in Frankfurt, and when he grows up, he can get a decent civilian job.

Remember get it in writing, his entire list of schools, etc. Where he gets based will be out of his hands, somewhat. Top of the flight class gets to pick first. BUT if there are 8 of you, and 8 orders for Iraq, it does not matter how well you did. Now, if there are 2 orders for Germany, 1 stateside, and 5 for the sandbox, then doing well would help him out. You don't know what the orders are until near graduation from flight school. And again, remember this THE NEEDS OF THE ARMY.

If you can think of anything else let me know.

But what about people with emotional problems and mental illnesses? I my self am not the wellest of people and find it hard enough getting through life without all the emotional problems I have on top of that. Already being so restricted, it makes it hard to concentrate on not doing something, when the only thing going through your mind is the pain and stress you're suffering.

This is a topic I had concidered starting my self, as I find it very hard to control my emotions. Whether it be happiness, sadness or even anger. It makes you look and seem more insecure than you are, which insedently makes you more insecure.

I being a very emotional person, find it hard not to shed a tear during sad movies. I tend to get so involved in the story and so attatched to the characters that I feel the emotions more than others. So again under this topic it makes you more insecure and paranoid about your self.

I'd personaly like to think it's okay for a man to cry, but the fact of people saying that you shouldn't cry makes it harder to understand. I mean, I don't just randomly burst out and cry, but when I'm in a situation where others would be able to control it, like getting hit, or a broken heart, or even sad movies, I can't.

Even talking about it now makes me sad, as it's something in my life I've always had problems with, on top of everything else I go through. I just don't understand why I should be led to believe that I should suffer more than I already go through, by trying not to do something that's a part of what makes me me.

It's not a matter of changing anything. It's a matter of re-directing the forces of the feelings to less problematic channels. One feeling at a time. One moment at a time. One who is sad doesn't suddenly become happy. He just learns how to manage his sadness in a different way. If it's in your nature, it never goes away. Things just get added to it -- like adding rooms to a house -- until, over time, it becomes almost unrecognizable as what it once was. In general, IMO, one who learns to manage his more distressing feelings in new, more productive ways acquires what others might see as a stately demeanor. That demeanor is often a sign of the terrible emotional geographies a person has traversed. And it isn't "stately" at all, really. It's more a reflection of the complexity of the psychological "machinery" a person has created to guide this feeling or that feeling from one direction to another. Not quite "armoring," or "repression" or "denial," but dangerously close them and things of their ilk.

I've seen my boyfriend cry twice one I understand and the other I don't. He cried when his good friend died, and I understand that. Then he cried when his football club was relegated - which i found funny and pathetic. Yet he don't cry over me.

I agree with the 'time and place' point, but should point out that should apply to women as well. Nothing annoys me more than some silly female blubbering over her problems at an inappropriate time or place and assuming no one minds because she's a woman. Get ahold of yourself.