I've been dealing with this question for quite a while due to my personal confusion, which i really hate. I'd like to hear some other opinions or experiences. So here it is: Is it possible to love two people at the same time?
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I've been dealing with this question for quite a while due to my personal confusion, which i really hate. I'd like to hear some other opinions or experiences. So here it is: Is it possible to love two people at the same time?
No.
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Yes.
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Yes.
XOXOXOXOXO
Yes
No
Lengthen message
So mucka, we help you out? :D
Yes, if you love them at different levels.
Yes but not in the way you're thinking.
Possibly.
_________
TAVS - what happened to your brokeback avatar?
:-(
TAVS needs some avatar help.
I'm gonna have to say no. But again, that's just my personal view. I feel that true love takes 100% of yourself, and 100% of the other person, so how could you say you really actually really love more than 1 person at the same time. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mucka
I love both my kids...
Shh! wouldn't have that problem.
Don’t’ get me wrong, but even slaves don’t give 100% to others.Quote:
Originally Posted by dono
Also, true love has many forms, and just because some aren’t made of 100% doesn’t mean that they aren’t true.
If you love someone, does it make your love for someone else, who you previously knew, less? No, I don't think so.
Of course it is! But how is that working out for you? I'd say it's possible but not easy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mucka
I's not working out at all!! It's confusing and awful and it makes me wanna hit myself till i make up my mind. i was just wandering if anyone else went through that, how did he/she deal and how did things work out.
O, yeah, i just wanted to add that i'm not cheating on anyone (at least not in concrete way...). I'm the only one who knows about this... Well, plus everybody who read this topic :surprised
If you're having these feelings, they are obviously real.
HOWEVER....how you deal with it will show REAL LOVE. Because I believe real love is about commitment and sometimes about making hard decisions to honour the person you love and respect.
Now, if that happens to be two people: You could respect, honour, love the person who you have made the commitment to. And move on / distance yourself from the other person so as to save their feelings and limit your temptation.
So, what's this all about? Do you have a mad crush? How did this happen?
No. If you can't choose, make them play rock paper scissors.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mucka
No, One you "think" you love, the other you "do" love. Foolish mortals who said Yes.
BUTQuote:
Originally Posted by Pears
What if they both choose rock??? :horror:
These impossible questions, they just never seem to stop do they? :D
I just wanted to say that I said "NO" from the start. :goofy:
Look into your feelings more. Find out what's really going on maybe? Do you really love BOTH people, or maybe you just really like one, or love one, and have an infatuation with the other? Just some thoughts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins
PS: If you can't decide then choose the hotter one! :lol:
I just read an article in National Geographic about love biology. The chemical that is released during the infatuation stage is serotonin, the same chemical that is released when you are taking drugs, and also the same chemical that is present in high levels for those who suffer from OCD. In long term relationships, serotonin levels are eventually replaced by the chemical oxytocin.
Since these chemicals utilize different receptors, I don't know why it would be biologically impossible to be in the new love stage with one person, and in the long term stage with another.
I did too Vashti, that was pretty interesting :DQuote:
Originally Posted by vashti
I would have to agree with that statement. So I guess you could say you're "in love", but technically you may not have the same type of love for both people. It may be hard to distinguish.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti
I have OCD and don't feel "high" or "infatuated"? Of course I'm on Lexapro :(
That obsessive feeling you have when you are not medicated is the same obsessive feeling you have when you are in lust with a new girl, right? Don't you think about her obsessively?
So everyone who has high zerononin and oxypoxy levels are automaticaly in love with multiple people? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by vashti
I think above is only possible in two situations:
1. The new love stage is infatuation, based upon finding something that the person currently lacks
2. The person has fallen out of love with the other and found someone new.
I think there is a posibillity of the third where the person doesn't really know what love is and is in ifatuation stage with the two or three or four people, infatuation can include as many people as there are people on earth.
I don't think that love is 100% chemicals bouncing around in your body, supply of which decides the levels or depth of your love. Because based on that I can say, if you want someone to fall in love, just inject him / her with chemicals. That would be a big winner in arranged marriages department I would imagine... What about knowing when someone is right for you based on personality and personal qualities? What about someone meeting your standards? What about past experience? What about compatibillity levels between the two? are you automatically dismissing everything else in favour of some chemical reaction in your body which decides who your love partner is? :)
I agree with what others have mentioned. There could be an infatuation with the other ofcourse, but he would only really love just the one (Provided he really is in love at all because it could be argued that if he really was in love with at least one of the girls he wouldn't have so much doubt in the first place).
You don't have to inject anyone with anything. They are produced automatically by the body under the right circumstances. Incidentally, oxytocin is produced naturally during orgasm, the same chemical which enhances the feeling of connection in long term relationships.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya
Not that I'd expect you to "buy" into this. After all, it is mere science. ;)
The whole 'love is a feeling brought on by the secretion of chemicals in your mind' argument is an interesting one to be sure. For logical, left-side thinkers, it's great because it brings the most intangible, irrational (or so some people think) feeling, love, to an objective light. The study that shows the feeling of 'love' while in a long-term relationship comes from secretions of oxytocin and lust being seratonin is very objective and hard to argue, but it makes love seem non-arbitrary. There are many cases in which arbitrariness is terrible (for example, the law. The Supreme Court's main purpose, in my opinion, is to reduce arbitrariness in legislation). But I think that love is something that is very arbitrary and is impossible to be explained in tangible, logical terms that left-side thinkers so wish would happen.
I'm a strong believer that love is something you feel and just know. Every time someone feels it, is there always oxytocin in their minds? Maybe there are seratonin shots in our head when we feel like we actually love someone instead of just lusting over them. It's a ridiculous idea to think that one can know if someone is in love or lust by knowing which chemical is being secreted into the mind when they think of this person when we don't even know ourselves many times! And how does a scientist distinguish between love and lust? There's a very fine line somewhere in the eternal blur in between lust and love, and I find it ridiculous that scientists (or anyone, for that matter) has found it.
Had to get that out there. xD
NOW.. pertaining to the original question, I believe that it is possible to have strong feelings for two people at the same time. But I don't think your whole heart can belong to one of them. In fact... after the first true love, I don't really think your whole heart can belong to anybody else.. but that is just me.
Oh no, if it's written by someone who calls him/her self a scientist then I have no choice but to buy into it. After all people like that have an answer for everything don't they? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti
In any case, so let's say you want someone to be in love and the oxypoxy is not being produced by that person's body, so if you simply inject him /her with that chemical he'll fall in love straight away and will stay in love with a random person for as long as that chemical is present? Kinda like a cupid arrow??? :)
If he doesn't fall in love straight away and stay in love does this mean (Oh My God) maybe that the presence of this chemical in the body doesn't straight away = LOVE??? :)
They didn't try to distinguish between love and lust, but rather measured the chemicals depending on the length of the relationship. They did not address the "arbitrary" aspect of love at all, meaning they did not attempt to explain why you feel it for some people, and not for others, except to say that oxytocin is produced through orgasm, which contributes to feelings of attachment. Interestingly, when they blocked the receptors for oxytocin in whatever animal it is that mates for life, that animal was no longer interested in being monogamous. (I can't remember which animal it was, though.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Prodigal
Hi Prodigal, I subscribe to the same line of thought as you. That, if there is a chemical such as oxytocin that helps us bond with our partner, present inside a body when we are with our SOs, it is a chemical consciously/subconsciously released into our body when we on a conscious or subconscious level acknowledge that the partner is right for us. The sudden appearance of this chemical in a body (In a form of injection for example), does not translate into injected person automatically being in love. In this case, once again the chemical inside our bodies would be determined on a conscious or a subconscious level.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prodigal
We are not slaves to chemicals. We are slaves only to our hearts and minds :D
P.S. By the way Synthetic oxytocin is sold as medication under the trade names Pitocin and Syntocinon (Their only use is to help out during the child labour) if anyone's interested :)
over the counter???????????????????
No - not over the counter. Synthetic oxytocins are used to help either induce or speed up labor, which is one of the times the peripheral body naturally produces oxytocin. It helps produce dilation of the cervix and causes milk letdown in lactating women.
However, the article I was referring to discusses oxytocin's impact on brain function, which includes sexual arousal, maternal behaviors, anxiety levels, and of course, romantic bonding. The article also sites low levels of oxytocin being suspected as a cause of autism, which is marked by a lack of ability to form normal human attachments.
Anyway, the article is descriptive, meaning it describes what measurable impact love has on the brain. It does not attempt to describe why it has this impact. This is objective science, not speculation.
Wow - do they test for low levels?
I should put all my perspective suitors through a test - do you have low levels of oxytocin. If yes, then I know.....move on! ha ah.
Good idea!! You should try to read the article - it was quite fascinating.
Do you have a link to it?Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti
[url]http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/multimedia.html[/url]
If the link doesn't work, just look up the Natinoal Geographic magazine website. It was in the February 2006 issue.