Overconfidence - too much of a good thing?

Confidence. Everybody loves a confident person. Confidence semi-subconsciously tells people, "Hey, I am a guy worth knowing." (Or girl, but the focus of this thread is more centered around guys...)

I am a very confident guy. There is no denying that. A very confident guy, as a matter of fact. Some might even say that this overwhelming confidence borders on, say, delusional hubris.

But that's okay with me, because, well... I am utterly awesome. :D

Now, certainly we can all agree that being confident is a good thing. It is especially important for guys, as girls focus more on personality than looks compared to guys (this is a generalization, I know, but in my limited experience, it's so true). But on the flip side, I think most people would agree that too much confidence, with too much attitude - arrogance - is a bad thing, in most situations. Oh sure, some girls may go for the cocky bad-boy image, but in general, it's better to avoid open arrogance.

I am not truly an arrogant person. At least, not that arrogant. But I am quite the wise-ass. And as a wise-ass, I will often make arrogant jokes about how wonderful I am. I mean, it's clear that I'm joking... or at least, it's clear that I'm not entirely serious... nevertheless, sometimes I'll find myself wondering if this type of joking still comes off as a negative to girls.

Example:
[I say something especially funny; girl laughs hysterically.]
Girl: You're so funny! How'd you ever come up with that?
Me: I guess it's just because I'm so hilarious, and witty, and irresistibly sexy. *smug grin*
Girl: *semi-sarcastically* Oh yes, that you are.

Yes. Quite the in-depth example conversation, I know, what with four whole lines of text. :french:

I suppose the title is a bit of a misnomer, as this thread is not really about being actually overconfident, but merely being overconfident in jest.

Anyway... to sum this up into one topic question: Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

Sounds like some David DeAngelo to me :baby:

In my past experience it works with girls that have high self-esteem and self-confidence. Otherwise, it has to be done perfectly or else you'll be called an ******* -.- and your face will have a red handprint on it for weeks at a time.

It's different for every situation. But in general, I'd say toning the confidence down a tiny bit isn't gonna hurt anything.;)

Make sure you don't confuse self-confidence with self-esteem. You can have some kick ass self-confidence with 0 self-esteem.

Self-esteem is ALWAYS more important, so be sure to worry about that first.

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Originally Posted by woahhitsjohn

Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

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It really depends on who you are talking to. Some girls can handle the jokes, while others will take offense at it. When you first meet someone, make sure you are nice and straight forward to be safe. You can save your jokes and sarcasm till after you know who you are dealing with. After you get to know someone's personality, then you can gage whether she can take a joke or not.

There is a difference between being confident and being an a$$, though must people(specially the female species) seem to combine the two into one.

OV is an A$$. :D

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Originally Posted by Pears

OV is an A$$. :D

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You know you want me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by woahhitsjohn

I suppose the title is a bit of a misnomer, as this thread is not really about being actually overconfident, but merely being overconfident in jest.

Anyway... to sum this up into one topic question: Is this kind of facetious arrogance, in general, a good thing (displays confidence and a sense of humor) or a bad thing (displays, well... arrogance)?

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if it's really in jest, it's ok. but i know a guy who's actually overconfident and arrogant – he sucks.

Overconfidence sounds always bad for me...:mad:

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Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

Make sure you don't confuse self-confidence with self-esteem. You can have some kick ass self-confidence with 0 self-esteem.

Self-esteem is ALWAYS more important, so be sure to worry about that first.

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What? What are you talking about?

How can you be confident if you have no self-esteem? Do you know what these two mean? They are directly related. If you don't feel good about yourself, how can you be confident? Do you think people out there fake confidence, with 0 self-esteem?

If you have no self-esteem your whole mindset is skewed. You won't say "Let me pretend I'm awesome and pretend I have confidence" your mindset will be "Why should I even bother with her... I'm not good enough.. I'll screw it up.." etc

I really can't see how you think self-esteem and confidence are not DIRECTLY related.

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Originally Posted by woahitsjohn

Girl: You're so funny! How'd you ever come up with that?
Me: I guess it's just because I'm so hilarious, and witty, and irresistibly sexy. *smug grin*
Girl: *semi-sarcastically* Oh yes, that you are.

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Ugh - I don't like this type of confidence. That's way too overboard for me.

I like to think I'm a pretty confident guy, but I never have to go around telling people that.. I let it speak for me, you know?

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Originally Posted by Tone

What? What are you talking about?

How can you be confident if you have no self-esteem? Do you know what these two mean? They are directly related. If you don't feel good about yourself, how can you be confident? Do you think people out there fake confidence, with 0 self-esteem?

If you have no self-esteem your whole mindset is skewed. You won't say "Let me pretend I'm awesome and pretend I have confidence" your mindset will be "Why should I even bother with her... I'm not good enough.. I'll screw it up.." etc

I really can't see how you think self-esteem and confidence are not DIRECTLY related.

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This isn't a "give me attention and feel sorry for me" type thing because I hate fags that pull that kind of shit off, but I don't really have much self-esteem...at all. However, I would feel totally confident standing up in front of a crowd of people giving a speech. If I were to be booed off stage, it'd just attack my self-esteem some more, but I would still feel confident to go give a speech again.

Some people act over confident to hide the fact that they are so insecure inside, if that's not the case then the persons just a Twat, I hate arrogant people.

Overconfidence is arrogance?

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Originally Posted by LTsK8eR2gO

Overconfidence is arrogance?

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It can be IMO.

Example: "OMG I'm so beutiful, don't you think?" or "I'm so clever I know everything about everything" etc.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

You know you want me.

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Damn it, you read my mind.

Haha... I checked back to this thread and I was like, "Woah, 38 replies. These people are helpful!"

How wrong I was, I realize, reading through the last two pages of replies. Which are all pretty much from the same two people.

:D

no i never like over confident people. in fact over confident people do not even need to go around telling people they are good and you still can recognise them. those people fundamentally behaved like they think they are the best and nobody else is good and such. you can tell....talking about "oooh im great“ can sometimes either be from an over confident person or an average person in jest

Some ass deleted all of our posts converse! :baby:

Ooops! Sorry John. We did give some serrious replies though a few pages back.

i only read the 1st few posts ...all i can say is ... from what you say ... i would like to punch your face because i hate guys like you .

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Originally Posted by Late_vamp

i only read the 1st few posts ...all i can say is ... from what you say ... i would like to punch your face because i hate guys like you .

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Thank you for sharing :baby:

I seem to go for cockiness, but actual overconfidence is not good. I guess it's just a fine balance that you have to maintain.
For example, I was sitting in my calc class with Cute Lab Partner last semester and the rather irritating kid that sits behind us made some wise-ass comment to the professor. Cute Lab Partner turned to me and said something like "I can't believe he said that - I mean, I would say it, but I can get away with it because I'm cute." At the time I was rather annoyed at his overconfidence there, but as I've gotten to know him better I've kind of realized that while he certainly has a healthy supply of self-confidence, that particular comment was uncharacteristically cocky. What I'm saying is, I REALLY liked this guy, and even then his overconfidence got to me. If a girl isn't sure yet or doesn't even know you, I feel like it will do more harm than good.

So this is related, and I'm just wondering what everyone thinks.

I rock at foosball (table soccer). I'm truly amazing. The only people who have beaten me in the past few years are my dad and my sister - every single person I've played at school has been crushed. I invite people to a game by asking "Hey, want me to beat you at foosball?" If anyone makes any implication that they intend to win, I quickly set them straight by assuring them that I will destroy them and then proceeding to destroy them. While we're playing, I taunt rather mercilessly.
Thing is, if you met me off the court (or the table, as it were) you would never think to call me cocky or overconfident. I'm quite mild-mannered, and if I make a comment that could come across as cocky, it's quite clearly self-deprecating sarcasm. No one has ever seemed offended by my ridiculously competitive, overbearingly cocky attitude in foosball, and my reasoning is that since it's something so clearly irrelevant to life, (unlike "I'm so smart" or "I'm so beautiful" or "I'm so musically talented") that the whole situation kind of mocks itself. People seem amused by this strange anomaly of my personality, but would any of you actually be offended by it?

No. I think it's kinda sexy and hott. It's weird, thinking about it is extremely attractive to me--even though I'm just reading it online.

By the way, I'm not being sarcastic.

actually i woulnt be offended by that ... but when someone comes over and even in a joking manner says things like ...well in the 1st post ... that person is bound to receive a punch to the face at some point . At least i would be tempted to do that .

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Originally Posted by Pears

Damn it, you read my mind.

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I knew it!

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Originally Posted by lovesjoyajm

I rock at foosball (table soccer). I'm truly amazing.

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You should play my roommate... he plays every weekend at the bars and he is pretty damn good. He's always in so much control... he passes the ball so well, finds the holes, and has a killer shot that is almost unblockable.

I think he would beat you. :)

I can't play foosball, I'm good at pool though. :)

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Originally Posted by Tone

You should play my roommate... he plays every weekend at the bars and he is pretty damn good. He's always in so much control... he passes the ball so well, finds the holes, and has a killer shot that is almost unblockable.

I think he would beat you. :)

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Haha. There's a website ([url]http://www.foosball.com/content.php?page=110[/url]) where you can get your "foosball rating". I just went online the other day searching for "how to organize a foosball tournament" and I found this site... and unfortunately, had to rate myself an 800. Is that the level your roommate's on? If so, bring it on :-p

I'm serious! He could take you!!