I like her, but she has a boyfriend.

Hi there.

Well im new at this, but any help would be appreciated.

I am a 19 year old guy living in Sweden. There is this really good friend of mine who I really like, but she has a boy friend who lives on the other side of the world!

As I said we are really good friends. Ive gone out with her many times and last friday we were at a disco where she got drunk and was hugging me and kissing my cheek the whole night. Even when she is sober she shows signs which make me believe she kinda likes me. She said that being with me is the second best place in earth she would rather be.

The only thing stopping me is that she already has a boyfriend. I don't even understand why she is together with him if they never even see eachother. If she wouldn't have a boyfriend I would have made my move a long time ago, but the fact that she does have a boyfriend makes me weaker and thus never allowing me to make my move. Im afraid that if I finally do make my move I will lose a really great friend and I really don't want to happen, plus her boyfriend is this mega tall dude with a really athletic body, whearas I am tall enough and have an average body size, but nothing amazing.

What should I do to be able to gain her heart?

well how often does she talk or see this guy she is with, and how long has their relationship been going on... that is vital info.. i can help more if i know these things,.

Just a thought...

I may get flamed for this, but very often women (and men as well) don't like to be alone. In other words they will stay in a less than satisfying relationship until something better comes along just to have the companionship (and sex).

If she's kissing you and stuff either she's not a very loyal woman or she's not happy with her current situation and is looking for something new and better.

I had a girl Saturday night in a club slip me her phone number and gave me a big kiss (tounge and all) three feet behind her boyfriends back saying 'call me Sunday night.'

I did call her and left a message 'thanks for the interest and I find you attractive and all but we can only be buddies as you have a boyfriend.' Probably would have persued it a bit if the guy hadn't been twice my size and looked like a bad-ass. LOL.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by xwfuro

well how often does she talk or see this guy she is with, and how long has their relationship been going on... that is vital info.. i can help more if i know these things,.

---

As far as I know they have been together for almost 2 years now and they see eachother like 3 times a year. Either she travels to him or he comes here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by blackiesharley

Just a thought...

I may get flamed for this, but very often women (and men as well) don't like to be alone. In other words they will stay in a less than satisfying relationship until something better comes along just to have the companionship (and sex).

If she's kissing you and stuff either she's not a very loyal woman or she's not happy with her current situation and is looking for something new and better.

I had a girl Saturday night in a club slip me her phone number and gave me a big kiss (tounge and all) three feet behind her boyfriends back saying 'call me Sunday night.'

I did call her and left a message 'thanks for the interest and I find you attractive and all but we can only be buddies as you have a boyfriend.' Probably would have persued it a bit if the guy hadn't been twice my size and looked like a bad-ass. LOL.

---

The thing is that Im not sure if she was so in to me that night only because she was drunk. As I said when she is sober she does show signs that make me believe she likes me in a way but nothing like friday night. Everyone in the dance floor thought we were going out and no one would believe we were just friends.

well if you thyink she likes you why not? whos to guarentee her boyfriend isnt seeing someone else. its hard to have long distance relationships.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by airborn86

Hi there.

Well im new at this, but any help would be appreciated.

I am a 19 year old guy living in Sweden. There is this really good friend of mine who I really like, but she has a boy friend who lives on the other side of the world!

As I said we are really good friends. Ive gone out with her many times and last friday we were at a disco where she got drunk and was hugging me and kissing my cheek the whole night. Even when she is sober she shows signs which make me believe she kinda likes me. She said that being with me is the second best place in earth she would rather be.

The only thing stopping me is that she already has a boyfriend. I don't even understand why she is together with him if they never even see eachother. If she wouldn't have a boyfriend I would have made my move a long time ago, but the fact that she does have a boyfriend makes me weaker and thus never allowing me to make my move. Im afraid that if I finally do make my move I will lose a really great friend and I really don't want to happen, plus her boyfriend is this mega tall dude with a really athletic body, whearas I am tall enough and have an average body size, but nothing amazing.

What should I do to be able to gain her heart?

---

exactly, you are second best. sorry.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by blackiesharley

but very often women (and men as well) don't like to be alone. In other words they will stay in a less than satisfying relationship until something better comes along just to have the companionship (and sex).

---

You miss-spelled "women", it's spelled in this sentence as "sluts" and men as "douche bags".

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

You miss-spelled "women", it's spelled in this sentence as "sluts" and men as "douche bags".

---

::rolley eye's::

No offence intended but you've got some serrious issues.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Converse

::rolley eye's::

No offence intended but you've got some serrious issues.

---

Oh really? and you justify that behavior in what you posted? Women who stay in relationships until something better comes along are slut, simple, its not brain science here and they aren't exactly angels here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Oh really? and you justify that behavior in what you posted? Women who stay in relationships until something better comes along are slut, simple, its not brain science here and they aren't exactly angels here.

---

You just seem to hate everyone lol.

thx all....I just really don't want to do the wrong thing here. I mean maybe she is being like that with me cause she really likes me as a FRIEND. I wish I could read her mind somehow and make the right decision. I have 2 choices here: Ask her out as soon as possible since Im thinking about her everyday and the "pain" just sucks and risk a good thing already going or just carry on as friends until she dumps her boy friend. Thoughts?

By the way. My senior prom is comming up and Im planning to take her with me. Should I ask her? I mean asking a girl to the prom is quite innocent. I just hope her damn boyfriend wont be here by then.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Converse

You just seem to hate everyone lol.

---

Not true, I love myself. Also to note, the person who actual goes out with her(I think the thread starter might be in that postition than) is a champ because he is nothing but simply the next best thing to come along. OFfcourse I am going to hate those people, if you dont like anyone fawking stay single sluts.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by airborn86

By the way. My senior prom is comming up and Im planning to take her with me. Should I ask her? I mean asking a girl to the prom is quite innocent. I just hope her damn boyfriend wont be here by then.

---

I feel sorry for you.

Quote:

---

I feel sorry for you.

---

In what way do you feel sorry for me? :surprised

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by airborn86

In what way do you feel sorry for me? :surprised

---

Because you are trying to get with a girl that some other guy is banging, chump.

Sweden, wow, that's hot.. (no pun of Paris Hilton intended)

well, let me say, first and foremost, I have a Ph.D is Swedish chicks.. in greece (my motherland), it is a well known fact, that when a girl says that she has a boyfriend in the same country, she means, "get lost looser". However, this is not to be confused with when a girl says that she has a boyfriend half-way around the globe. In fact, this means, "I want you, but I want to see how much you want me first; let the games begin". This is a European-chick way of playing hard to get. Guys who get it, just insist on playing along with the whole boyfriend act, untill those kisses on the cheek and nights out drunk start transforming into a beautiful European relationship, make whatever you will of that.. lol..

you will see, that slowly, the "boyfriend" will start to leave the picture, and there will be only one other guy she will be talking about.. I don't know who... but I think you know him very well..

:french:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

"I want you, but I want to see how much you want me first; let the games begin".

---

So, what does your PHD tell you to do in this case? I think it is to say "Get lost b*tch, no one is worth climbing mountains for.". The end. GOD DAMN WHY IS OV SO GODLY?! These games are for chumps, but he will play it and fall for her little shit, cause this guy is a chump.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by GrkScorp

Sweden, wow, that's hot.. (no pun of Paris Hilton intended)

well, let me say, first and foremost, I have a Ph.D is Swedish chicks.. in greece (my motherland), it is a well known fact, that when a girl says that she has a boyfriend in the same country, she means, "get lost looser". However, this is not to be confused with when a girl says that she has a boyfriend half-way around the globe. In fact, this means, "I want you, but I want to see how much you want me first; let the games begin". This is a European-chick way of playing hard to get. Guys who get it, just insist on playing along with the whole boyfriend act, untill those kisses on the cheek and nights out drunk start transforming into a beautiful European relationship, make whatever you will of that.. lol..

you will see, that slowly, the "boyfriend" will start to leave the picture, and there will be only one other guy she will be talking about.. I don't know who... but I think you know him very well..

:french:

---

Thx for that. It was really helpful. Im gonna continue to go out with her. This friday or saturday perhaps? Then, eventually, I will invite her to the prom. We go to different schools though and last friday when she was drunk she mentioned something about me going to her prom but she never used the word "together." Well let's see what happens.

Any other comments or suggestions are welcome. Thx for the help so far.

I don't understand why you don't just tell her how you feel about her and ask how she feels about going out with you. :surprised

She obviously likes you. Women do NOT hug and kiss (however innocently) men that they don't like.

Oh, and I think the fact that she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. In my book, you have a right to ask her if she would like to CHANGE boyfriends (to you). She won't be offended, but rather flattered. (If the boyfriend were a friend of yours, that would be a whole different matter.)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rob26

I don't understand why you don't just tell her how you feel about her and ask how she feels about going out with you. :surprised

She obviously likes you. Women do NOT hug and kiss (however innocently) men that they don't like.

Oh, and I think the fact that she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. In my book, you have a right to ask her if she would like to CHANGE boyfriends (to you). She won't be offended, but rather flattered. (If the boyfriend were a friend of yours, that would be a whole different matter.)

---

You have a point there. Its just that I don't want to risk a really good friendship going on. Imagine if she says like: "whooo, I thought we were just really good friends, I don't think we wil be able to hang around anymore." I don't think that will happen but I mean there are slight chances.

However, I will slowly start showing that I like her and see how she responds.

Does anyone know what kind of methods I can use?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rob26

I don't understand why you don't just tell her how you feel about her and ask how she feels about going out with you. :surprised

She obviously likes you. Women do NOT hug and kiss (however innocently) men that they don't like.

Oh, and I think the fact that she has a boyfriend is irrelevant. In my book, you have a right to ask her if she would like to CHANGE boyfriends (to you). She won't be offended, but rather flattered. (If the boyfriend were a friend of yours, that would be a whole different matter.)

---

I don't understand why you don't just tell her how you feel about her and ask how she feels about going out with you.

In time I will

Is there a ring on the finger? I think not my friend. Then she is free game in my book.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dono

Is there a ring on the finger? I think not my friend. Then she is free game in my book.

---

Good point as long as they're not living together.

Friends are over-rated. You should tell her that you have a girlfriend in Africa.