Let's discuss smothering

I talk about this subject a lot because I know myself. I guess one might say that if I'm aware of it, it's not a problem, but still, let's define/discuss it.

Is one phone call a day too smothering? Especially when that pattern has developed and the other party truly seems to appreciate the attention?

Wouldn't it be a good idea to take at least one day off and provide some space? Break the pattern and make her wonder? Is that game playing?

I thought I knew all this stuff. After fourteen years of marriage I have to learn it all again.

Open ended question I know, but it can make or break a relationship.

Is she your girlfriend? If so, I don't think once a day is too much. If you are still trying to catch her, though, it might be...

What she said --------^

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Originally Posted by vashti

Is she your girlfriend? If so, I don't think once a day is too much. If you are still trying to catch her, though, it might be...

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I would say yes, although we have not had the 'define the relationship' talk yet but somethings go unsaid and we both agree we're qoute 'on the same wavelength.' I don't think the 'talk' is necessary.

A one day time-out can't hurt.

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Originally Posted by blackiesharley

I would say yes, although we have not had the 'define the relationship' talk yet but somethings go unsaid and we both agree we're qoute 'on the same wavelength.' I don't think the 'talk' is necessary.

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In that case, how long have you two been together?

There seems to be a transition period when, even though you're "in a relationship", things still sort of seem like a "trial" period. If you're not satisfied with the product, return it within 30 days for a full refund.

During that variable time interval, it still might be wise to err on the side of caution.

Of course, once again, that's assuming you're into playing the "game." In general, I hate game playing, and yet I end up forcing myself to do it simply because the other party does it. It's a vicious cycle.

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Originally Posted by RogerWilco

There seems to be a transition period when, even though you're "in a relationship", things still sort of seem like a "trial" period. If you're not satisfied with the product, return it within 30 days for a full refund.

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That's an excellent way of putting it. That's where we're at. I think I'll just chill for today, go out tonight by myself and give it some space. She seems so needy for attention though, much like me.

Problem is it's a semi long distance relationship. We live 1.5 hours from each other. Neither one of us minds driving and there's a great city to meet in the middle, but due to her two kids and my elderly Mother it's hard to leave so our phone calls are vital to 'growing.'

Oh well, time out for today, give it a break. Err on the side of caution.

In that case, blackie don't worry about things. :)

You're enjoyin yourself, start focusing on that instead of always wondering what could go wrong. :)

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Originally Posted by Tone

instead of always wondering what could go wrong. :)

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Bad personal habit of mine, sometimes it can become a self-fullfiling action.

At least I'm aware of it.

In your situation, I don't think once a day is bad at all. In fact, she might question some on goings if you had been calling everyday, then abruptly quit.

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Originally Posted by Lloyd95

In fact, she might question some on goings if you had been calling everyday, then abruptly quit.

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Very true Lloyd, but is skipping a day such a bad thing?

I hate playing these games...

i totally agree with lloyd only because that what is happening with me at the mo

we was talkin every day an for the last wk or do he just stoped without warning an really just aint said much 2 me an i think there is somethin up

or it could just b me with an over active imagination i dunno

Yeah dude seen your reply on mine, I replied as well.. but shoot man go with the flow, i know what you mean, it's good just to get that confirmation to see where yall stand, guess you gotta just let it take it's course and the better it will feel once it comes... Its tough, I want it now myself..

If you break the pattern she might think something is wrong... that you're pulling away, having second thoughts, seeing someone else perhaps. I'd be confused/possibly worried if I were she.

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Originally Posted by lilmis

i totally agree with lloyd

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QFT

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Originally Posted by blackiesharley

I hate playing these games...

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Then grow up and don't.

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Originally Posted by Lloyd95

Then grow up and don't.

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+2.

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Blackie, not to hijack the thread - but did you get everything workin okay on RoseB's forum??

Yah, she might be expecting a call and be concerned if you don't call. Especially is you WANT to call but just aren't for no particular reason.

A better way to take a day off would be to say to her on Wednesday,..."Good night, I'll phone you on Friday..." = so that she is aware you aren't gonna phone her for a day and then you'll still get that nice little break to the pattern but offering reassurance to her at the same time.

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Originally Posted by clynn

Yah, she might be expecting a call and be concerned if you don't call. Especially is you WANT to call but just aren't for no particular reason.

A better way to take a day off would be to say to her on Wednesday,..."Good night, I'll phone you on Friday..." = so that she is aware you aren't gonna phone her for a day and then you'll still get that nice little break to the pattern but offering reassurance to her at the same time.

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Yeah. I just called her and left a little friendy message. I can'y play games as hard as I try....