dating a prostitute

I am falling in love with a prostitute. When I first met her, I didn't know who she was and only after she hadn't come for a date I found out what her real job was like.
She explains her behavior by her financial situation and doesn't seem to want to change anything. She is poor, homeless, pregnant, unemployed ( otherwise) and says her job is easy. I have offered financial assistance and my apartment to share but she declined.
It appears that she has bounded emotionally with the other girls and their pimp.
So, she seems to be quite contented or rather resigned where she is now, but
I see a huge potential and I don't want to give up on her.

She is 25 and pretty, I am 35, kind of average guy and
since the very beginning I have questioned my own motives for getting involved
with her and I am not really sure what am I doing. Am I acting out of man's
protective instinct or is it my desire to have control over an attractive and young woman?

Do you think that my friendship would have the power to transform her life,
so she will have another accomplishments and have sex not as her job but
as a choice of her love?

I am afraid I have already lost my ability to think critically.
I thought I was much tougher and yet it came on me fast and unexpectedly.

I need your help really badly.

If this is for real, it sounds like you have a "knight in shining armour" complex, which is extremely unhealthy. Usually, people wish to partner up with people who are their equal, and so your interest in this young woman may indeed be about control. Maybe you should talk to a professional.

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Originally Posted by fooley

Do you think that my friendship would have the power to transform her life,
so she will have another accomplishments and have sex not as her job but
as a choice of her love?

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Of course, if she wanted her life transformed. If facing the rest of her pregnancy as a prostitute isn't enough to get her turned around, what can you really be expected to do?

People don't just become prostitutes. If she has a way out and isn't taking it, she's profoundly damaged.

You're in love with a broken person.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fooley

I Do you think that my friendship would have the power to transform her life,so she will have another accomplishments and have sex not as her job butas a choice of her love?

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No, I don't think that your friendship will get her to change her profession and lifestyle.

Sorry.

what is your past history with women like?

She will never change. Talk to a professional please. You can thank us later.

I'm gonna take a bit of a different view here. It CAN work, but it's rare. (Of course success in ANY relationship is rare) One of my friends married a high-class call girl (no they didn't meet THAT way) They're still happily married after about fifteen years with kids. Ozzie and Harriet.

I was dating a girl who worked in porn. I thought/looked upon her as she was just a play-toy but come to find out she truly loved me. I hurt her SO bad and to this day I feel still guilty about it. I wonder if that karma has come back to bite me in the ass sometimes.

Another one, a Penthouse magazine centerfold. Probably treated me better than 90% of the women I've been with. Even introduced her to my Mother who loved her. (without disclosing what she did for a living of course) Should have married her, but couldn't get past her occupation.

Yet another one. Single Mother of two, a stripper. Should have married her when I had the chance. Wonderful girl who spent her days kniting and cooking stuff for her kids. We had talked about getting married but she did have a drug problem something I don't deal with very well. Still think about her though and hope she's OK.

Be aware, be VERY aware of drug and excessive alcohol problems associated with that profession. Not to mention the pimp factor. That sounds very 'street' and there's always the medical/health question as well.

Hooker or not, she's still a human being that needs love. Guess I'm saying that anything's possible, maybe it can work, you could be her emotional rescuer who knows? Don't slam the door just yet but be careful.

Disclaimer: I'm not comparing nude models or strippers with hookers.

How long has she been a hooker?

ugh ... i dont think i could even touch that with a 2 meter pole , even less kiss her , just think about all the jizz she has between her gums , that should make you give up .

Well neither could I, think of the STDs! He seems to want to hit it though, so whatever floats his boat...

Not long ago I was into a "broken" girl, and I'll tell you right now, it's not worth the pain. The longer you stay in the situation, the more it'll screw you up both mentally and maybe physically. I was lucky to escape from my situation with my sanity mostly intact.

The difference with the girl I was after is that she wasn't a prostitute, or at least, she didn't charge for what she did. She was with a guy who treated her like she was a worthless plaything, which honestly is what she lowered herself to be anyway. And no amount of being nice, being strong, being WHATEVER kind of male figure is going to turn her around. She may seem like a terrific person when you talk to her, they usually are, they act real sweet and seem to have a lot of potential to succeed in life...

But there's something inside that's f***ed up. And they lower themselves to self-abuse in more ways than one. And you don't wanna get involved with it. No matter what.

And covering all bases, because I kept thinking this when I was going through it... do you think your girl is different? Every situation is different? Things could work differently?

Wrong. When a woman abuses/sells herself, she's not even a human being. And they'll gladly destroy other human beings without a drop of remorse. My girl, she came close to having me hurt or killed. And she didn't give a damn. Sure, she was so sweet and fun to be around one day... the next day, nothing, or worse than nothing. DANGER. You could lose your life, or your sanity. Neither of which are worth losing.

I mention sanity because I stayed in my situation too long, and it scarred me. I have a lot of difficulty dealing with girls now because of that b*tch. I lost a part of myself I'll never get back, and gained new traits I wish I could drop.

I'm not saying these things can happen. I'm saying they WILL happen. Run while you can and don't look back.

Pay her enough and I'm sure things will work out...

Sounds like you're trying to 'save' her. Unfortunately, that desire will wear off quickly once you've spent some time in a relationship with her and start to resent her for all the things she's not (and some of the things she IS).

I think you should do yourself a favour and walk away from this one. Also, I should mention that there's a big difference between a prostitue and strippers/Penthouse centerfolds....obviously. It would be different if she just took her clothes off for money......but she takes them off and then has sex with countless other men, with countless diseases (not to mention she's pregnant with some 'customers' kid). She obviously doesn't have much respect for herself, mentally or physically......pursuing a relationship with her will just drag you down to that level.

Just never involved feeling with this kind of profesion, they will like glamour life without husband and will go wild every night until some desease punish her and she will turned to good people if oneday it's happen, please choose another person to put your love, useless :)

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Originally Posted by Jaxcie

Just never involved feeling with this kind of profesion, they will like glamour life without husband and will go wild every night until some desease punish her and she will turned to good people if oneday it's happen, please choose another person to put your love, useless :)




gmcMatch

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You need to work on your english.

Thank you all for your responses.
I just found out that drugs are also involved in her case.
It makes my problem more complex and challenging.
I couldn’t help her without your support.
Thanks again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by fooley

Thank you all for your responses.
I just found out that drugs are also involved in her case.
It makes my problem more complex and challenging.
I couldn’t help her without your support.
Thanks again.

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Help her? We're trying to help you. Run while you can, squirrel.

I've herd of the rule of hypergyny, but this is really pushing it to its limits.

sounds like you have wounded bird syndrome...where one finds an emotionally/physically needy person and feels the need to rescue them like a wounded bird :( pretty noble

As everyone has already mentioned. If you want to avoid future problems, you should avoid this relationship. Trust me, when so many people are giving you exactly the same advice, it could be because the situation is obvious, they have experience of similar situations and they know what it's like...

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Originally Posted by glitterbeachie

sounds like you have wounded bird syndrome...where one finds an emotionally/physically needy person and feels the need to rescue them like a wounded bird :( pretty noble

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Exactly. My brother has this. It comes from growing up in an unstable home. He has dated the most sorry parade of losers you could imagine. He is now married to a compulsive liar (which makes family barbeques hella entertaining for the rest of us). The sad thing is, they have a kid, and the kid is a little stressmobile because her mama's crazy.

Are you coming from an unstable home? Do you have major issues? I think you should address these things, whether you help this girl or not, because you owe it to yourself and your future self.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch

He is now married to a compulsive liar (which makes family barbeques hella entertaining for the rest of us).

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That's hilarious. I know some kids that are like that and it's pretty funny. This one kid tried to pass off that he could speak French. Funny thing is, he didn't know the kid he was talking to was fluent ^_^ and I busted his ass. I still harass him about that, but I don't really see him anymore--it's good to avoid those people.

Just cause she dance the go-go, it don't make her a ho, no!

I wanted to thank you on the note you wrote above. I think you were dead on correct. I am in a current situation quite similar (with a prostitute) and searching for some sensibility in where i am taking this. I have thought so much about my situation, but reading your post below has really helped me a lot.

I wish you are still checking messages to know you have help someone. Now, i can only pray i get out of this one in one-piece!

About my note below. I was thanking MUSIC_JIM!

I tried to PM the OP, but I can't tell if it went, because it isn't in my sent folder.

Anyway, I have been there and done that. My relationship with a pretty call girl who had a meth addiction was a huge mistake. The jealousy was painful, especially the one time that I drove her to a call. She kept stealing from me and then I kept forgiving her and taking her back after she did a little rehab. I hung in there way too long because her young kids were really nice and deserved a better life. I wish I could have those lost years back.

Run away. You can't save someone from themselves. Women don't go into the sex trade (whichever the occupation) because they are healthily grown women. They are messed up and that's okay to walk away. Healthy people fix themselves before they let anyone else fix them or get involved in any relationship.

In fact it is really a different experience to be with a prostitute and love her. You do not seem to belonging to the mold the rest of us do. Of course you can partner up with her and transform her. Few become prostitutes out of choice and in fact there are certain circumstances that make people incapable of being rational and people even lose their common sense and fall victim to the circumstances they are hemmed in. All you have to do is change her and you must try little by little and you will see something blazing within her too and she will emerge as a loving and caring lady for you and who will very passionately love you once you win over her through love and kindness

Run like the wind.

If you start a relationship it's just going to be one long battle from there on out.

This thread goes back to 2006, no need to reply anymore