Some thing wrong with me???

Don't flame me or anything but...

well my gf asked me do i love her and i said yes but when i think about it i think i m going through a stage where i get cold feet and....it like i don't love her any more but she is so nice to me but she some times does thing that i don't want to do but to make her happy i do it...she even said she want to get married to me and i feel so wierd like i don't want to but she is really a nice girl any guy married her would be happy mayby for some times when she makes you do stuff you don't like, like heaps! It like i been forced to cuz of her saying " i will break up with you or i willl pissed " i feel like thier more i want to do with out her...i feel lost at the moment..

okaiz guys you can flame me if you want but i want your true oppion?..

I had trouble reading your english but here goes anyway;

Relationships are give and take. It sounds like you're generous and you maybe go along with what she says too much. Her taking your willing over-generousness for granted is one thing; you'd just have to say "sorry, but I don't want to" and that would sort that out, unless she's a spoilt brat who cant take no for an answer.

But her telling you "do this for me or i'll get mad and leave you" is another thing. Frankly.. If that was me, i'd just say, "fine then, I don't want to be your slave anyway"

Look at this way; if you just keep going along with her orders, you will start resenting her and stop wanting to be with her. And that will lead to a messy end for the two of you.

But if you stand up for yourself, she can either get pissed and leave you, in which case you're better off without her. Or, she can learn to treat you better. Either way, you're better off.

yeh agreed. with tiay. u seem as though ur just saying yes to everything to make her happy. or that fact that it asthough shes like pressuring u

like do u love me? yes well were gonna get married and have babbiesss.

sometimes that lot of information can put alot of pressuring on u and actualy doubt urself and relationship

try telling her how u realy feel. and ask her to take things abit slower as u feel pressured

well thats how it came out to me. not sure if u ment different

i duno if i even love her any more? and the way she express her self to me is like her whole future is in my hand woah i feel pressure....she even said if by 20~21 and u don't marry me than never i mean i don't want to make a mistake and regret it and waste her time..i m so loss to say...:(

I hate it when people give someone an ultimatum like that....especially at such a young age!

She sounds like shes definately more into this then you are.....and what is nice about her threatening you all the time?? Stand up for yourself and be a man! If she threatens to break up with you just to get her way.....put your foot down and say "GOODBYE!"
(I mean don't you see a pattern here? and do you really think its ever gonna change unless you do something?)

I mean what do you have to lose? Your not sure if you even love her..... She threatens you with crap like that.... And shes trying to run your life and your feelings. Grow some backbone....and for once....do what YOU want to do. If she doesn't like it...then your better off without her!

*nods*

I find it hard to imagine ever threatening my boyfriend with anything like that. If I said "do this or i'm leaving", well, he'd open the door. But if I said "I know you don't want to do this but it really means a lot to me.. please?" then he'd probably do it, provided I am prepared to return the favour.

By giving in to her threats, you've showed her that threatening you is the way to get what she wants. You poor guy.. all stressed out with commitment expectations and such. Stand up for yourself, and if she doesn't like it, it's her loss.

YOu are WAY too young to be thinking of getting married, and the stress over this forced intensity is probably helping to distance you from this girl.

You'd better man up and tell her you aren't thinking of getting married till you are at least 30, and you don't want to be pressured about it. Then you can see how SHE reacts.

Honestly, I think most people at your age don't end up staying with their boyfriend/girlfriend. You are just too young to make a choice that will affect the rest of your life.

What are you a man or a mouse, If she is forcing you to do things, she cant really love you, stand up to her and see what happens, if she leaves you then she does not love you.

If you don't want to do something don't do it. Tell her you don't like it, and throw your wieght around you wimp!

it over between me and her now...... she moving to america...now i regret it all....she almost killed her self because of me :( their no way for me to get ehr back now.....how would i ever get over her omg i think it all my fault......she told me that i m the only thingk eeping her back and now nothing is keepping her back..

Killing yourself isn't as easy as people make it out to be, I wouldn't worry about it and just forget about her.

aww man I'm sorry to hear that, I was hoping you had a chance.

You will be okay. It sounds like she was kinda bossy but you had a passionate relationship and ultimately she put too much pressure on you. Do NOT tell yourself it's all your fault! Nothing like this is ever only one persons fault.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by loss

it over between me and her now...... she moving to america...now i regret it all....she almost killed her self because of me :( their no way for me to get ehr back now.....how would i ever get over her omg i think it all my fault......she told me that i m the only thingk eeping her back and now nothing is keepping her back..

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Honestly is it a loss? I mean you weren't 100% happy anyways... Not even close... And she also threatened to kill herself over you? OMG! This girl sounds crazy....and if anything I think it was just another one of her empty threats to get a reaction out of you! She also was pushing marriage....and honestly you should not be even THINKING about marriage until you are MUCH older.... I mean even you said you "COULDN't EVEN SEE THAT HAPPENING!" Which I can see why....

Its not your fault. I think this was one of your first serious relationships( or something kinda close to it) and now that its not gonna work out your just upset. You have PLENTY of time and there are PLENTY of other people out there. And yes, there are girls who DON't Threaten you everytime she wants something!

You can do better! I think your just in love with the IDEA of being with someone...and not her. So, I think you need to just let her go....and move on. Trust me in a few yrs you will realize it was for the best!

There is NO WAY she was going to kill herself. When she has her kneck in a noose or a gun to her head then you can feel sorry that you made her sad. Ellynn is right. Dont be worried. Buck up and you will get over her.

yeh it all over and i feel down but i think it will take time for me to heal....i hope i can heal the sooner...and i dun think i will treat girls the same.....

yeah, take some time to heal. There's plenty of girls out there whenever you feel ready to get back in the game.
Being nice and treating girls with respect is one thing, letting them walk all over you is another.

Best wishes,
-t

Yes, tell yourself "never again will I become involved with an emotionally blackmailing psycho"

Yes being respectful is important... But you cannot forget about yourself also. Don't let a girl tell you what you can and can not do! If she truly cares about you, she will respect you and your feelings as well!

That other girl did not respect YOU at all! It was all about her and what she wanted! IN order to make a relationship work.....you both have to think about each other and BOTH compromise, but not to the point where you are uncomfortable! (like forcing marriage etc).

You were the one giving it all in that relationship... YOu need a healthy balance....and there are girls out there that can give you that....

While I agree with Ellynn and Giga, I have the feeling that we're making her the 'bad guy' or psycho or whatever; Sure she was bossy and threatening and you deserve better. But she was also rewarded for this behaviour- till it became too much, that is. People like her will exist as long as there are other people who are willing to put up with it- and note I'm not being gender specific.
Loss- I hope in future you will not be one of the people who will put up with it. It isn't easy. It's tempting to let little things fly. I'm tempted to give my doberman food from the table sometimes; but I know he'd start thinking that everything on the table is his.

(wheee I made an analogy and it didn't involve cars! .. those who know me would be impressed..)

omg gues wah i found out why she was being mean to me?? she mite die of the chuma in her leg if im spelling it right...but she was at my place and she cried so much that i feel bad like hearlly bad....she put the ring back on my finger but i still have cold feelings but i don't want to say it right now..do you guys think i should tell her after her operation?...

It depends on how soon her operation is supposed to occur. If it is relatively soon, then yes - wait until after, and be sure to give her some time to heal before you do it. Mainly you want to be sure that when she has this surgery she is able to focus her energies on her recovery rather than mourning over you. I think that is the most humane thing to do, but others may disagree. This is a tricky situation.

aww noo not more sad news around here :(

man that's a hard situation. I agree with vashti. The most humane thing to do is try to make it easier for her to focus on getting better.

Still no excuse to have her treat you like that.. But yeah, let her focus on her operation and recovery and then let her know how you feel.

yeh ok i will treat her as best i can until she get that operation and wait till sht get better than i will say it...and she got me a engage ment ring now i m freakinging out.....she told me 2dai that she aspect me to clean and cock and if i don't we wll go eat take away....and she told me that she likes to be spoilt that the way she is....well i m kindof in a fiancle problem so i recently can't buy her stuff.....bascily here is simpleir term a queen...

Is this thread a joke?

Look, I don't care if shes dying or not.....but she sounds like a spoiled little biatch...who is a control freak!!

And whats with her buying YOU an engagment ring... Puh-lease.. She sounds like an attention whore.....who wants you to pity her even more. Shes got you wrapped around her finger......but well, if thats what you want...go for it!

We tried to give you some serious advice and its up to you whether to take it. I think you know what you need to do.. question is....if you have the balls to do it!

yeh i told her abt the ring i said " i m not ready for it yet, it to much of a pressure" she said " oh i understand i gues you won't get it back any moe " and she said from now on i m not that calls and not comming over any more so i was fine with that i said we should not talk often on the phone any more since we argue to much on the phone....i find it wierd how we argue mroeo n the phone and hardly ever argue in real life..