Shaking hands...???

OK let's open this for discussion/votes...

In a social setting, say a party or a night club and for example, a girl comes over to a guy and says 'my girlfriend wants to meet you, will join us at our table?' or 'I love your hair, what's your name?' is it cool to introduce yourself and shake hands?

50% of my friends say it's creepy and pushy as you shouldn't touch them immediately. 50% say it is quite gentlemanly and classy.

I personally think a nice geniune smile and a handshake is in order, but ladies, your opinions???

No. Reply like you just don't care about them but be hilarious.

I'm going with gentlemanly and classy. (Unless you have recently visited the bathroom and didn't wash your hands.)

well what are the choices?

a) shake hands
b) hug em
c) just smile and wave "hi"

i'd either pick a or c... b is a bit too affectionate for a first meeting

First meeting? Yeah.. hugging is too affectionate. I say rip her shirt off and grope her while you stare at her boobs like it's the first time you've held a part of the female anatomy.



mmmmmm....

a firm handshake is good.

i like handshakes, but not the sissy ones. that's an immediate turn off for me.

yeah, but don't do the death grip either...

I love left over toasted pizza.

Oh, touching right away is good, especially if it's sanctioned by polite society. I just had something like that happen the other night- somebody shook hands with me when he could have just said hi, and I liked it.

actually, i take what i originally said back

the last girl that i am attracted to in highschool, the first time i met her, she gave me a hug. next time we met, she petting me on my head. the next time, it was hug. then the next time it was hug. then the next time was prom night and it was dancing. all in a matter of 3 weeks. saw her last week on the train, probably will be the last time i'll ever see her, she gave me this great hug.. i felt the grip.. the first time i've hugged a girl like i meant it.

It's good manners. I guess if you're going to go with what's right and wrong in society then I think that hand shaking is very good manners and highly accepted. I've had the hand shake many times and yeah sometimes it makes me feel strange, but not because we're touching, just because it makes things feel a little formal. However, in retrospect it was really good manners and quite impressive, I guess small things like that can say a lot about a person.
Anyway, do whatever feels comfortable for you! If you're a hand shaker ; then go right ahead I say.

I'd shake hands, but whenever I shake hands with a woman I always tend to use a very very easy grip, in which I try to show them I'm not a rough guy.

i only shake hands if they give me a name and its a personal friend introducing me to somebody new.

i wonder if foreigners have a different policy... someone coming from india or italy might think shaking hands is weird... or even just the term 'shaking hands'

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blue toxin

I'd shake hands, but whenever I shake hands with a woman I always tend to use a very very easy grip, in which I try to show them I'm not a rough guy.

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Don't do that. It doesn't send the message you are hoping for. Too soft of a grip sends the message that you are a wimp and lack confidence. A firm grip is nice and sends a message of warmth and confidence. Don't do the hand crusher thing, though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Venacava

Anyway, do whatever feels comfortable for you! If you're a hand shaker ; then go right ahead I say.

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Yeah, I'm going to keep on shaking hands, it's just 'me' and seems to be working. Like another poster said, what's the alternative? Stand back and wave?

It freaked me out a little though when several male friends thought it was creepy, that's why I posed the question. Maybe it is a little formal, but nothing wrong with injecting a hint of formality into a social setting.

One of my friends always kisses ladies hands. I think that's too much but he gets by with it as he's European with a heavy accent. Most women find him charming. I'd get slapped.

Eeew. Kissing hands? Pass the crackers, we've got someone just too cheezy here.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vashti

Don't do that. It doesn't send the message you are hoping for. Too soft of a grip sends the message that you are a wimp and lack confidence. A firm grip is nice and sends a message of warmth and confidence. Don't do the hand crusher thing, though.

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I disagree. Me shaking hands period with a female I think speaks of confidence. Too strong of a grip will have them thinking "Youch! Let go!" An easier grip may suggest that I'm a gentle guy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by blue toxin

I disagree. Me shaking hands period with a female I think speaks of confidence. Too strong of a grip will have them thinking "Youch! Let go!" An easier grip may suggest that I'm a gentle guy.

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I am guessing you aren't a girl, so you probably aren't aware of the impression you are making. Anyway, here is the scale:

<--I--------------------------------------I-----------------------------------I--------->
gentle ............................................. firm .......................................... death grip
wimpy ............................................. ideal.......................................... a$$hole

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vashti

I am guessing you aren't a girl, so you probably aren't aware of the impression you are making. Anyway, here is the scale:

<--I--------------------------------------I-----------------------------------I--------->
gentle ............................................. firm .......................................... death grip
wimpy ............................................. ideal.......................................... a$$hole

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Yup....

A gentle handshake is an IMMEDIATE turnoff...a firm (not crushing) handshake, to me, indicates confidence...and confidence is sexy! Most guys don't get that a firm handshake can be gentle....... ::sighs::

Yes, we women don't want any part of you to be limp.

You guys make it sound like I'm just simply holding her hand and shaking it, that's not what I'm saying... Compared to how I shake any dude's hand, it is much different though.

I think shaking hands should be uniform, regardless of gender.

ya what if ur at a formal ball, should you kiss hand? lol i almost did that when i asked the girl i liked to dance at prom... although i left out the actual kissing part, just the bowing and reaching for hand

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Off2College

ya what if ur at a formal ball, should you kiss hand? lol i almost did that when i asked the girl i liked to dance at prom... although i left out the actual kissing part, just the bowing and reaching for hand

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No, that's not cheezy. That's totally sweet and romantic.

I just think when you join a table of people at a bar, you shouldn't be kissing hands. The idea just makes me laugh.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BlackiesHD

One of my friends always kisses ladies hands. I think that's too much but he gets by with it as he's European with a heavy accent. Most women find him charming. I'd get slapped.

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:))) yup...it is very european...man here do that often, in fact if they don't do it, it is bad...:))
but usually, the young guys prefer shaking hands and a big smile...:)


and by the way, it is very sweet when a man kiss your hand, but doing this with practice and exercise, not to long (erotical meaning), not to short (he doesn't like you), not to pushed (he is rude), and he should hold your hand firm but not strong, and of course, a woman should give him her hand to kiss it, with 1 seconds before he touches her hand:))


i sugest you a nice firm, but gentlw shaking hands, a big smile, and a soft and worm voice.

I hate it when a person shakes your hand and they hold your hand for ages! :S

Yay for shaking hands. Definitely not too hard, though.

It is great for an initial meeting.