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I never knew
When I wished for you
That the wish I wished
Would soon come true
I never knew
When I dreamed of you
In the dreams I dreamed
You would love me too
So why has nothing happened
So why the hell have you gone
You have made me an empty shell now
no love
no life
no fun
You are dating some prick named Frank now
I will soon find where he lives
I will walk over to the door step
and when he opens I will show him my fist
Then eat his brain
That was good until you said Then eat his brain
Oh come on! I thought it was a nice finishing touch and that it added some elegance to the poem :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss hotty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ok if you say so
Do you always take everything so seriously?Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss hotty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
No i just like pulling peoples leg lol
I like the last line the best.
it's good except for the end. rewrite it if you care that much. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Same here.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Beautiful. Save me some of that brain.
I'd condense the last line of the second stanza from
toQuote:
You would love me too
in order to keep the metre of the first stanza. But that's just my opinion.Quote:
You'd love me too.
I also like the last line best
beautiful.
I knew the last sentence would be a instant classic and hit! See, in your face Miss Hotty. She really is dating some Frank guy :( lol .. I did kick his ass once right before getting kicked out of a club thingy.
That actually does make it sound better, things like that I don't always notice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fnord [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I liked the last line best. Nice work :)
Ok OV i have my hands up saying i was wrong
Cool, by the way...my dick is hard...are you going to follow your own signature philosophy?Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss hotty [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Wouldn't you just like me to?
Glad ya decided to keep the sig :)
... sorry, carry on.. lol
Yes well i was think who give's a **** if people don't like it's the way i feel.
Hay no need to be sorry carry on if you want
Damn right.. it's your sig.. keep it any way you want it :)
Yes just what i though